Holding my Pokemon for ransom is one thing… but now it looks like that old couple at the daycare are starting to play hardball!
By Diego_UK
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 20, 2011 · 9:57 PM
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Categories: Nintendo, Nintendo DS, Pokémon, Serious Business · Leave a comment (113 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
How much for you to just keep them?
It's not good to extort a person who by the endgame will probably have captured god and some entities that might as well be god.
He obviously has enough money to afford that, but…
*Uses it all gambling*
"Giovanni's Day-care Center -- "Doesn't matter if you dropped them off or not we'll make you pay to get'em back!""
And if you refuse to pay, they will be dropped into the incinerator at the south end of the habitat.
Take your time..
Too expensive. Keep them.
They're holding Jimmy's family ransom for the secret recipe to Volcano Bakemeat.
you pay the money and she gives you a ditto…
snap.
Fine,my father left me hells know when,I DONT EVEN REMEMBER HIM!
And my mother does nothing besides spending the money i ask to her keep it safe.
So you can more stay with then,i will go and enjoy my adventure.Hell,the only time i get back to that stupid house is when i need to rub on her face that i became the Champion or defeated freacking Red.
Don't you know?
MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Though, if you have a god-like Pokémon follow you around, no one else in the world seems to flinch…
Pokemon Snap!
Jimmy was a straight guy from a good neighbourhood, until 1 day someone gave him the recipie for Volcano Bakemeat, he has never been the same since then.
I'd wait for a few more hours. I need my family to get over level 50 so it can evolve into Xtndedfmly. =D
What? Family is evolving!!
CONGRATULATIONS! Your family evolved into Xtndedfmly!
Xtndedfmly would like to learn Grandchildren!
Forget a move to learn Grandchildren?
>Yes
No
Which move shall be forgotten?
>Childbirth
Teenage Rebellion
Parenting
Incest
I thought that was Kris's mother?
one would think these jokes would only be funny for so long
but they would be wrong
One in the same?
If you remember, Kris was also a Gir, which means she's actually a Irken robot. So she couldn't possibly have a human mother.
huh….weird. I expected Gary to be the one to hold my family hostage and charge me a small fee to get them back. Or is it just me?
what a scam.
My pc OAKDOS (Old Anal Koot Directing Obscene Sex) told me I was adopted.
then it sent me through 8 test chambers with the promise that I would find my father and mother… I found my father's corpse but my mother is still missing….
While we were taking care of your family we found this Egg…
Hey, I'm still straight. I just can't taste anything anymore.
[That was one spicy meatball...]
Also, I found out that it wasn't my family that they took. I gave them the money in advance though, and they said no refunds…
They are not even shiny.
Jimmy found VOLCANO BAKEMEAT RECIPE. Jimmy!VOLCANO BAKEMEAT Bag Fuck!
I've got a spare, want 'em?
Ok, suit yourself. More Volcano Bakemeat for me then!!!
'Kay.
Got any eggs for me?
I'm Batman.
congratulations!!
its a little brother
Somewhat relevant:
http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/…
DAMMIT IT DOESN'T SHOW THE PICTURE
Well. That's what you get for pitting your family into mortal combat with mutant animals for blood sport.
You can have them…
Dad was Rash
Mom was Sassy
And my Brother was Naughty.
I think I'll just try to find some of the right nature, maybe even EV train them.
rel="nofollow">GIVE ME BACK MY SON!
<img src="http://weblogs.wpix.com/news/lionel/give-me-back-my-son-300x182.jpg">
First my virginity , then my character's boyfriend, now my penis, what will this old bat demand next?
Your family are doing fine. They prefer to play with others instead of each other.
Kris was a Gir?
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/zimwiki/images/0/00/Gir.png" width="70">
Yes, exactly! Watch the video, it clearly asks if you would like to be a Boy or a Gir.
Oh course, they could then enroll their god into your daycare services, and you would only charge as much to raise them as a normal, low-percentage Ratata.
HA!
ALL PRAISE FOR MOTHER VOLCANO BAKE MEAT
Your mother was a Rattata and your father smelled of Oran berries!
Is everyone stealing our business strategies?!
Ugh, don't even get me started. I go through 18 challenges, holding on to some stupid new technology for no discernable reason. I jump toxic water, dodge Thunderbolts shot by Magnemite he's stuck to the ceiling. I'm doing all this because he promised me some Volcano Bakemeat. Suddenly, just around the corner, there's a pit of fire. I decide it's horseshit and get up on a catwalk, run all the way to him, and rip him limb from limb and incinerate each bit because DAMN IT I WANT MY BAKEMEAT.
But then, after finally emerging from Oakdos' lab, I found out the Bakemeat was a lie.
PIZZA PRIZES FOR ALL!
Incest: fun for the whole family.
And I can breathe in space.
<*IMG SRC="urlgoeshere" /IMG*>
Take out the asterisks.
I didn't know you could play as Harrison Ford in Pokemon. (anyone get this reference? it's a vaguer one).
1600 Pokédollars? That's the price of an Ultra Ball and two Poké Balls!
Hrmm…Family, or pokeballs…Family, or pokebaaaaallllsssss…
Wait, but only Aperture employees know how to make proper incinerators, and they all have acute cases of neurotoxin.
That's not my family! Don't think I don't see the Ditto in this picture…
<img src="http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h417/Brian_Cartwright/ALLGLORYFORMOTHERVOLCANOBAKEMEAT.jpg?t=1303361296">
I don't blame them. That Volcano Bakemeat is worthy of much praise. In fact, I think I'll worship it now.
<img src="http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h417/Brian_Cartwright/ALLGLORYFORMOTHERVOLCANOBAKEMEAT.jpg?t=1303361296">
*pelts Zabrio with an apple*
You know what?
Screw my parents.
I rather spend my money on Lemonade instead of getting my family back.
Mommy always told me babies were brought to the house in a bag, flown in by a Fearow and dropped down the chimney!
Didn't Sid Meiers say that a game is a series of interesting choices?
I see what you did there.
+1
that might be a good thing…
Come now, she's obviously on the Board of Directors of your not-company.
Pokedollars are basically the same as Yen, and ¥1600 is only about $16 USD.
Hm… quite a dilemma we have here…
Mom and Dad are swingers? That explains why the professor comes over a lot…
The kids' family is only worth $16…
<img src="http://i51.tinypic.com/2vtb21z.png">
The professor doesn't stay long though. He came as fast as he could.
*edit*
You sure you even KNEW a family before you went out on your adventure?
After all, what's said below could suggest to me that you were taken by Celebi before you were born…
And here you are being a "boy" when in reality you're attempting to be the Gary Oak of Unova (I mean, come on, despite the fact you know him *maybe* you ARE quite disconnected from each other in distance)
Is it wrong to reference that one Flash on Newgrounds which I will not name 'cause I'm too lazy to type its actual symbols?
And then there's the Serious one. Not you, is it?
Might be a better choice than using it for Lemonade, though. Oak disapproves of it.
Keeping the phrase 'Extended Family' to 10 character spaces? Nice one!
BROFIST.
Day Care Lady: "Oh hello, Gramps was just looking for you"
Me: "Yes, probably because you abducted him yesterday."
*Charcoal maker walks in with a wheelbarrow full of charcoal*
"Well…Ilex Forest is quite a stretch, ain't it? But here's your order, you said something about some debts that need burning?"
Then Gary Oak comes round to make good on his middle name.
Xtndedfmly forgot Teenage Rebellion!
Xtndedfmly now wants to learn Smug Face!
*RING RING*
"Hi its me Yahweh,
I just wanted to say that my Son of God is in the highest percentile of Sons of God
Okay Bye"
*finishes typing then runs to nearest Catholic Church for immediate confession*
The Goldenrod Name Rater should start charging in my opinion. ¬¬
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
WE NEED TO PATENT STUFF LIKE THIS BEFORE IT GETS OUT!
Luckily, here at Aperture Science, we would never stoop so low as to use ransom as a means of profit, when forcing the derelict to do our science for us is so much cheaper!
Seriously, 60 bucks for science? Who can argue with that? I can tell you my wallet sure doesn't.
well mommy is a lying whore
$00P4H Nin10DOH?
When that thing got to the Pokémon Snap with those Pokémorphs…
"OH GOD MY EYES! SKIP! SKIP!"
I just wanna be… the very best…
Well, your Pokemon team is like your family.
What? I don't remember ever saying th--
"All glory for mother bakemeat…"
…what were we talking about?
If you want your SAVE FILES back, it will cost $4,500.
I for one welcome our new Aperture Overlords.
Screw it, buy soda pop.
Only cooler. And more super-powered.
And obedient.
Hey, wanna get injected with praying mantis DNA?
There's no room in your party for your family. Please go deposit one into your PC.
Thanks. GIVE THIS GUY SOME E-PEEN.
Do I Ever!?!?!?
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. But what I do have are a very particular set of pokemon, pokemon I've acquired over a long career. If you let my family go, that'll be the end of it. But if you don't, I will hunt you down, I will find you, and I will make your pokemon faint.
I scouted recently online on some websites…if you thought that was horrible,
SOMEONE MADE AN UNCENSORED VERSION OF THE SCENE
…I will never look at the Kanto-Sinnoh NatDex the same way again…
I am guessing that my use of Chatter has confused you somewhat.
[In case you don't know, it was a comment by XPengooX64 below these comments that I joked about, and I kinda extended that onto something that's not often talked about in the wider community, the fact that Celebi leaves behind an egg from a different time period at the shrine in Ilex Forest when it leaves that time period. ~Fiera, Knowledge Base of Halolz for 2010-2011 Jokes and Knowledge Outside the Humour]
"Like no-one ever was…
To catch girls is my real test,
to 'train' them is my caaauuuuuseeeeee~!" ~Gary Oak, bitches {Red's not going to be too happy. *RUN AWAY ABILITY ACTIVE*}
(…they still broadcast YE OLDE ASIAN MOTION PICTURE in Unova? Gimme the times, I think I might watch it in my Villa later on my new HDTV I got. I'm angered at the fact that Ash stole my clothes during the Diamond/Pearl season D: Ah well, at least he's never worn any of the third-version clothes, whatever that means. I'm guessing for my case it's my winter clothes. I remember when I got the beret in the package, it's the same brand "Jubilively Design" but it said 'Platina Edition' in the label. I just went with it.)
[I'm trying to depict Lucas as a character who is very knowledgable and knows about the game's mechanics but doesn't understand them as he's merely a character within the games (and has also watched the anime). ~Fiera]
After this incident, Gold reported this to the US Government…
and now old ladies get patted down by the TSA at airports
(yes I am calling out the TSA)
Ok grandma, we'll visit more often, now put the gun down and let them go
The Fearow doesnt drop off the baby, the fearow drops of a red tinted lightbulb so they could MAKE the baby…..Family guy reference? Oh yeah.
HA! That PROVES that you are OBSESSED with Volcano Bakemeat!
My mom was shiny for a week after she payed Dr. Manhattan 50$..
That's what she said..
YOU HEARD THE MAN.
Anyone else hearing something? Sounds like a narrator bracket God or whatever…maybe I'm going insane…I maybe I just need more volcano bakemeat…yeah….I'm just hungry…I need to sit and chow down…
I just play a game based on my life. I AM famous after all. Also, Red is too, and Gary, and…wait, is EVERYBODY who beats the Elite Four a superstar?!?
Looks like I really did speak loud. Chatter works WONDERS |D
Begin the ad campaign for RANDOM COMMENTS OF CHATTER *sacredfire'd*
Indeed they are. I was in Undella Town recently, flew to Unova by means of space rift (Thanks, Palkia*) and I was looking at bulletin boards inside the gates all across Unova on my way from Mistralton, where I landed. They gave Hilbert a lot of recognition -- his name was on every one of them, as well as the species of each Pokemon he used in the latest entry to the HoF.
Yeah, everyone who beats the Four Heavenly Kings [translated Japanese name of the Elite Four! ~Fiera] and their "god" are deemed worthy of being famous for all eternity.
After all, I DID catch Arceus. Just an example.
I heard from the Hoenn Region that the Eon Duo came to Kanto as well, have you caught them yet?
Edit: Where d'you thnk Red is?
Edit 2: …oh, OBVIOUSLY. I think I'm still a bit light-headed after being in distortion for a while.
Indeed. Although it doesn't really matter, since I HAVE God I can do practically whatever I want! Although I don't use him that much since I prefer to travel to other regions via method of distortion (Thanks Giratina).
Pantalones approves!
Spy's sappin' his family.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell
you I don't have money.
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have
acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If
you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you.
But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
1600? BUT THAT IS MY WEEKLY LEMONADE BUDGET!
Well, sorry, that test is cancelled. The good news is, we have an even better test: Fighting off an army of mantis men! Grab a rifle and follow the yellow line to your left. You'll know when the test starts.
Oh my. And here I was, thinking Motherfuckin was a nick name.
Gimme back my family! rel="nofollow">