Yes, RollerCoaster Tycoon humor! How could I resist posting something that generated the in-game text “your dick looks too intense for me”?
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 16, 2012 · 12:01 PM
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Categories: Artistic, Explosives, Paranoia, PC, Retro, Robots, Sequential Art, Uncategorized · Leave a comment (91 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Hey, I didn't know Gary Oak had a theme park.
Y'know, this really wasn't too far from the school trip to Six Flags.
I didn't ask for this.
Damnit Guest 462! I see a broken fourth wall!
I'm telling you Halolz User 194! It's a conspiracy! We're nothing but users, posting in a world designed solely around lolz!
We all have avatars. Updates on the site out of nowhere… we only know twenty different forms of comment making, and those who try to escape merely end up on another website!
I believe there is some force keeping us here, making us test their races for E-Peen and make comments like some experimental forums!
…OH WELL DOESN'T MATTER, HAY GUISE, LOOKIT MAH 114 E-PEEN, LAWL, I R SO LEET.
Ironically, it was Guest 194 who spontaneously combusted that day after consuming the park's jumbo pop rock and 64 ounce diet coke special.
There's the exit, but I don't see a path to it! How am I supposed to escape this hell hole?!
*Looks at Alpar's E-Peen*
*Looks at my E-Peen*
Feels bad, man.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/XZ4DN.jpg">
The average game of Paranoia works something like this, too.
Remember: The Computer is your Friend!
That is freaking great. I played the shit outta that game.
You just can't ignore is girth…..or dick in this case.
Whenever my visitors on RT3 pissed me off, i ran them over with a dunebuggy into a pit of water. Bitches don't have taste on food. But still, i fucking loved every rollercoaster tycoon game. I loved the 2'nd one. I even had a pack that came with expansions.
or dick in this case.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/4tArU.jpg">
Now I want to make a comic about being a sadistic park owner who only builds roller coasters designed to crash.
SOON.
Ah, I remember the good ol' days of the elebinty-billion simulation games…
For instance, one of my favourites was Zoo Tycoon, where I would make an enclosed, isolated island with tons of soda and snack machines and a single bathroom, and then put all the unhappy visitors on it.
"From Concentrate Camp", as I called it.
this reminds me of my post apocalyptic rage upon the poor citizens of the city of sim
…or a dick in a box!!!
<img src="http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/internet-memes-justinnnn.jpg" length="400" width="400">
Gary Oak, bitch.
Alpar's dick is a great value.
I remember the expansions of Zoo Tycoon where you could keep marine life and dinosaurs.
If no one liked my zoo's exhibits, I would replace the Raptor exhibit's electrified chain link fences with little petting zoo fences. One small step for raptor, one giant leap for my guests' adrenaline. Then I put a moat around the zoo's entrance.
If I recall correctly, you could double-click on the "Guest 462" and rename them whatever you wanted.
Okay, let's see…
1: "First!"
2: Insulting anyone who yells first until they're too far down the thread to bother.
3: Witty response to post
4: Trolling
5: "Hey dudes, there's a troll!"
6: Image response (Bonus points if you don't format it)
7: <img= I_fucked_up_my_html_tags.png>
8: "Hey bro, you fucked up your html tags. Let me get rid of that edit button for ya."
9: "Can't let you do that, Star Fox!"
10: "Something something CHURCH OF FALCON YEAH!"
11: "More like HAT Fortress 2, amiright?"
12: Other, less resilient memes that eventually become terrible ideas and we stop.
13: "Yay, I got to 100p"/ "Lol, my e-peen is 69, and this comment while become outdated almost immediately."
14: "Congrats! Something something monocles and tophats!"
15: "Guys! I'm hyper paranoid and see a -1 troll anytime a score goes down! +1 every comment for great justice!"
16: "I enjoy giving my opinion on things, but I'm afraid of an arbitrary number that reflects my online popularity, despite that it only ever goes down if I'm severely racist or trolling, and basically never happens to real opinions. Please don't -1 me!"
17: "Aww, here's a +1 for not being afraid! Also, I am the reason that everyone is above 50 within their first week."
18: Unintelligible.
19: "Sean, please fix the forums!"
20: Sean: Getting around to fixing the forums.
Oh my God I LOVED THIS GAME!!
# 1 doesn't count.
IT'S A CONSPIRACY! INTEL DREW THE PROCESSOR WITHOUT A HEATSINK SO AS TO MAKE US NOT USE HEATSINKS IN OURS, THUS MAKING THEM BREAK DOWN, MAKING US BUY MORE, GIVING THEM MORE MONEY!
RCT submission?
That's a extra rare one.
I belive this is our second RCT submission.
I do remember this submission.
<img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/halolz-dot-com-rollercoastertycoon2-hellwasgreat.gif">
I was, what, 8 when I first played this game? Of course I named everything after swear words and dicks. Oh, and it was in all caps, for maximum humor.
Dimomarg knows too much
<img src="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/137/848/ocarinadickbox.gif"> yup
HAH, Joke's on you, my processor was made by--
We haven't had #9 in a long time. We're almost overdue for it, I think.
Yeah, that sounds about right. +1up
<img src=http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/9/9901/10139230.jpg>
Ah yes, one of my top four favorite games of all time. And this kind of thing had nothing whatsoever to do with that fact. Still, the (heavily hacked) copy my relative had was pretty awesome: he built a coaster with over 30 inversions and an Intensity rating of 43, plus it took over ten minutes to circuit through all the way. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen.
"Meals On Wheels" was my number one contender if there ever were wheelchaired visitors.
Sadly, all I had were healthy, normal, perfectly-capable-of-running-away-for-a-few-futile-seconds guests.
But yeah, Marine Mania and Dino Digs were pretty fun additions.
You forgot about the grammar hammer…
Or did you? Well played sir.
Hint: that's not water that pours down from above when you play the Song of Storms.
That explains why it stains your clothes!
Hah. Pentium 4.
Alpar's dick is too much for me to handle. (What are we getting ourselves into here?)
You forgot about "eyebleach.com", whenever Shawn posts something like the last Pokemon submission…
…or maybe it's just me.
i think bidoof also forgot the pun threads
CAN'T LET YOU USE THAT MEM-
Darnit.
I'm feeling sick.
Greatest RTS game ever.
(That's "Rollercoaster Tycoon Strategies")
Hell was the hottest attraction the park!
Dimomarg?
DIMOMARG!
Dangit, Resistantce agent 897 is down! We need back up now!
*looks at Alpar's E-Peen. Looks at own E-Peen.*
Self conscious Wombat is self conscious.
References that few people will immediately get! FUCK YEAH +1!
You're all dicks XD
It is a great string of comments, though.
Alpar's dick makes great strings…..of comments.
I'm sorry Gary, but this is Grooseland. Clearly it's Groose's dick.
<img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw07my0UpP1qigxf4o1_1280.jpg"/>
And the Objections! You've gotta have the Objections!
I had a random idea floating through my head through the past week.
Can't let you through those roadblocks!
It doesn't seem to fit.
The stereotypical irony is that I'm Asian.
I C WAT U DID THAR.
Wow, waaaaaaaaaay obscure reference… which I got.
Did he say candlejack? Oh shi-…..
Wait, you have a brain?
YOU MUST DIE!!!!!
Well screw this.
I still have the copy of RCT. Gonna go play it.
Okay, I'll concede Objections! for sure. I can't believe I forgot those. I love 'em.
We are all loyal to Friend Computer. If we know what's good for us.
I don't think anyone ever mentioned Candleja-
have you subscribed to the nick soapdish brand of comedy I feel like I'm going to hell over laughing at
then it froze over, dammit who even put the liquid oxygen lines there?
so… every single rct player out there?
yeah, first the plane, then the nuclear meltdown, and the aliens, the fire, and the meteor, all at once
Oh dear lord!!! I haven't even beaten the game yet and there's already rule #34 all over it!!!
There was rule34 from the trailers already.
Whats with everyone dissapearing when they say Candlejack…. *Looks around* see I just don't get it at al-
<img src=http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/027/164/898.jpg> No we're at Hogwarts.
Oh man I haven't seen a post that made my laugh this hard for a while ^^
"Who is number one?"
"You are…number 462."
brought together by the all mighty volcano nado.
knew I missed a few, but I was too lazy/didn't care enough to check
Hmmm… completely unrelated to him, rel="nofollow">Candlejack just reminds me of thi-
I know SOPA being gone is good news, but….
*Looks at PIPA and the UK student getting tried by AMERICAN COURTS!*
America, you want me to live somewhere else don't you? Because you sure as hell ain't getting my vote.
*Sobbing Facepalm*
NO, THIS IS PATRICK
Ah, the tycoon games. Staple of childhood for many, many internet users, they were more ubiquitous than tooth decay in the house of an average child. Those rose-tinted goggles let us see a world where our imagination was the limit, where the park could be anything we wanted, and where our tiny minds pondered the best ways of making everyone like the rides…
But now? Now we sit back in confusion, thinking "Why is this fun? Dammit 10 year old me, what were you thinking… and how the hell did you make ANYONE like the rides?" Feels bad man.
*candlejacks reply to this* rel="nofollow">
You could. I played this during Pokemon's third generation, and I used to trap exactly 386 guests and name each one of them. Good times.
Hey, thems' tickets to Hell won't sell themselves.
well, I need to stop buying them, I already got fifty
Friend Computer is your Friend. Unless you're a trekkie. Then he just lets you live because you're not a threat.
Ah ha. Tragic.
I AM NOT A NUMBER
I AM A FREE MAN.
*Inserts Gordon Freeman here*
More or less, but not entirely in being.
You know nothing of pain…
Damn it, Adam, you're such a drag :C
The creation of The Final Destination 3…?