FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
GODDAMN YOU GARY OAK! DAMN YOOOOOOOU!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 28, 2010 · 8:30 AM
  (1,001 votes, average: 4.78 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Anime, Ding! Level Up, Motivational, Nintendo, Overkill, Pokémon, TV Shows · Leave a comment (220 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
youd think itd be hard for 4kids to screw that one up.
maybe he's just that good…
or not!
No, he's just that badass!
I can deny his girth, but not this!
Gary was here.
Ash is a loser.
Well, some of the gym leaders are female.
I try. I send in 10 images a day and not one has ever been posted and who is right there, 5 out of 5 stars with 25 votes? Gary Motherfucking Oak.
4th badge from the right on the top, companion cube?
so GLaDOS is into pokemon now?
Lol >> That explains why it took them so long to make Portal 2 then?
They can't ignore his skill and/or girth.
What is this I don't even?
I thought I saw a new highest rated submission, when who comes in? GARY OAK….
Sticky….
i bet he got the cake too… it wasnt a lie, gary just got to it first and ate it all
that lousy cheat! i knew he was cheating! first flying on a spearow and now this?!
Ten badges?! THAT'S BEYOND THE IMPOSSIBLE!
4.99 rating with 78 votes? I smell a new top submission…
So you spend a month and a half making an epic video… it crosses TF2 with decent movie, replacing characters in the trailer with perfectly-animated TF2 substitutes. Perfect lip-syncing, perfect rendering. And who pulls a better score than Law Abiding Engineer on Halolz, twice?
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You can't ignore his girth.
He didn't even earn the other two badges, he's so awesome they just showed up in his case.
He turned up at that one fighting dojo, used sheer force of his badassery to reclassify it as a gym again long enough to earn a badge, then left. Only cause he wanted both Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan, he kicked the crap out of everyone TWICE, which is why he has two extra badges.
Remember quality over quantity, just like Gary Oak. See you don't need to catch all the Pokemon when you have a motherfucking Eevee.
Bitch be trippin' balls!
Maybe he's just…
HAAAAAAAAAAAAX!
Bitch be fakin' badges!
Gary was here
Test Subject is a loser
P.S. Companion Cube is mine.
You defeat the final gym leader, finally after such hard work that traded Pokemon that's lvl 100 can obey you, and who's there with enough badges so that a pokemon lvl 140 can obey him?
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK!
Gary Oak: No matter how good you think you are, he is always two steps ahead of you.
Gary gets all the babes, no matter how inanimate.
GARY OAK USES A GAMESHARK!!!
"It's a whole new world we live in. It's a whole new world to see. It's a whole new place, with a brand new attitude, but you STILL CAN'T BEAT GARY OAK, 'cause he's the best that he can be (doo-do-do-do-doo-doooo)."
(Wolf O'Donnel's Greatest Hits)
Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his badges?
THERE'S OVER 9 BADGES!!!!!!!
What?!? 9 BADGES?!?!?!!
You think your life is hard?
Well, FUCK YOU. It has nothing on mine. My mom practically kicked my ass
out of the house before I hit thirteen, and I never even met my dad. My only
friend till I was ten was the kool-aid prick next store who was always beating
the shit out of me and telling me I wasn’t worth shit. Its not even like I had
a choice. During my entire adolescence, I was moving around from place to
place trying to get along with people who didn’t even want me.
You think that’s the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or
something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get
laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger
chick. She was flat as a pancake, sure, but damn, she was a total nymph.
She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in
hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.
But dear god, the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT
seem to avoid. You know, those absolutely sickening couples, like they wear
matching outfits and finish each other’s sentences? Yeah they were total
creepers. They also had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they
were. I swear, this thing would never shut the fuck up.
Like I said, I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with
other kids my age, even adults from time to time.
The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a Pokemon
master.
(Of course, I take no credit for writing this epic.)
tl;dr
So, according to my calculations…
*Pulls out a calculator, and divides by pi*
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK submission = Automatic Highest Rated Halolz
???
Bitch be tappin' jailbait!!!
IT'S SUPER UNFAIR!
…and can drive a car at the age of ten. The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) ain't got NOTHING on Gary Motherfuckin' Oak.
He's the king of everything!!!!11one11!
I want you all to also realize that, of the badges he has, this was before he challenged the viridian gym, and he never challenged blaine, so he has 6 badges that you get in the games, and 4 badges that you cant, because he is gary mother****ing oak!
…or his MASTER BALLS. (Yeah, that's right, after you eradicate the Sliph Co. building and rescue the company President and are rewarded with one Master Ball, who's already on his way outside with two of them, and heading toward the Indigo Plateau, ready to kick Elite Four butt? GARY MOTHERFUCKIN OAK.)
Psh!!! You've got that wrong. His pokémon have power levels…OVER 9000!!!
NOPE.avi
It's Gary Motherfuckin' Oak don't you ever forget. See that guy in that car with your girlfriend? Yeah, that's him.
Big deal… I can beat MM2 Hard Mode with no Powerups and E-Tanks on Hard Mode…
….okay well something close ~_~
TOO LONG DID NOT READ.
**THIS TIME I MEAN IT.
Must…resist….gay joke about Ryu's avatar….
THERE'S NO WAY-
Wait a minute he hasn't been to other regions, has he?
Guess Gary couldn't ignore ash's girth this time around…
What was that I don't even….
POKEBALLS OF STEEL!!!
Boy, those must be some GREAT balls if Gary Mutha Effin' Oak is trying to grab 'em.
wow… those are disturbing… but very interesting, indeed
Written above that, in the same color as the sign, Captain Falcon wrote his signature
*WARNING. CUE SQUEALING YAOI FANGIRLS!* When they start squealing, nothing can stop them, short of a Falcon Punch, or Wolf.
Can't let you squeal that fangirls!
Trust me, it's more worth it than mine.
o_O i had no idea your life was so hard, you always seemed so happy and determined, always playing with your pet mouse… or rabbit… i know you said it was a mouse but that thing was pretty big for a mouse!
now THOSE are too much reading
you dont know why? ill tell you! its because he is gary oak bitch!
calculate that! splash attack!
But we all can agree that Pokemon is gay. :)
You want too much reading? Try this: http://community.livejournal.com/4chan/2083772.ht… http://community.livejournal.com/4chan/2083772.ht…
Basically it's a theory about pokemon (the anime now how it's the deepest most depressing anime in existence.
Allow me to quote:
"The accident with the bike? It put Ash in a coma. three days later he was found and pumped full of painkillers. This is why team rocket became less menacing. The drugs kicked in and stabilized his coma dreams, instead of being terrifying, they became idyllic, and he's able to live out his pokemon master fantasies.
It's also the reason that every time he enters a new region, virtually no one has heard of him, despite his conquests, and why givoanni leads team rocket. Ash has daddy issues, so he put his dad atop the evil corporation, and he just can't picture himself as famous, so he essentially adopts a new identity every few months.
It also explains a few other things, such as how a child can go off on his own in a world full of dangerous untamed animals, and why every pokecenter has the same exact nurse."
You've worked days on end, travelling to places all over this continent. You've managed to walk across it within a few days, pegging off each of the eight gym leaders as you go. You've caught at least 120 pokemon, and have your team at lvl 80, ready to fight the champion, and who do you find, sitting around with extra badges as the champion? Gary Motherfuckin' Oak!
Not to mention his own personal cheerleaders. I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in the anime right now with a million cheerleaders and fistbumping Mewtwo.
Wait, he has the Boulder and Cascade badge, and since Ash met misty almost as soon as he left, and there would be no time for a battle until he got to Pewter, then how did he get that from Misty?!
Oh yeah, and he was about to challenge the next gym as well, meaning he could've had 11 badges!
So, you join Halolz with a goal. A goal of reaching 100 E-peen in a week. You're just about to get to the coveted 69 when who comments with an automatic 300 E-peen and -1 trolls on his side? GARY MOTHER FUCKIN' OAK!
In Soviet Russia, there are 10 badges. He got eight of them.
Nope. He found the secret gyms. They're secret because he made them up. Because he made them up, they're official. That's just how it works, 'cause he's GARY MOTHERFUCKIN' OAK!
http://lupinbebop.viperslayer.net/Motivators/Gary…
… these writings intrigue me… do they have a theory for the pixar movie UP where mr. fredrickson dies the night he is forced by law to go to shady oaks retirement home?
It's 2011. The day you've been waiting for has finally arrived. You've camped out of the store to get your pre-ordered copy of Pokémon Black. You've been in front of the door for 2 days, and when the clock finally strikes 12:00 you walk in to get your much awaited game. And guess who walks next to you with an early copy, already beaten?
Gary Motherfucking Oak.
Yeah, but who do you think told you that?
That's right…
Gamefaqs!…Wait….
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Or he's making them inert?
Ash Nukem: "I got pokeballs of steel!"
You know which eeveelution is the best? GaryOakeon. It's the only Pokemon that could kill Arceus just by staring at him.
Mewtwo kicked his ass, remember?
He went to Cerulean Cave a few years later and made up with Mewtwo
After Kilroy finished traveling the world, you know what he saw on his mother's back when he got home?
That's right. "Gary Motherfucking Oak was here"
Little known fact: Aperture Science has a division called Silph Co.
NO! NO THREAD JACKING!!!
He can do the impossible, see the invisible, touch the untouchable, AND break the unbreakable. Not because he fights the power, but because he's Gary Motherfucking Oak.
He's filling up his Pokedex while yours is looking shabby. Oh, and he just got that big promotion at your company, and he doesn't even work there.
That's not the worst of it. I even got beat up so bad that one time I died. It was so bloody pathetic that my miserable little life was over already that I somehow freaking came back to life to continue my hardships!
well in the anime there was a fake gym in there some where some kid trained himself so he could get a badge at his own gym
How in the… You know what, I'm not going to ask, He's just Gary Motherfucking Oak.
Also, back from the dead is I.
Big Deal.
I beat MHX on Hard Mode with all heart tanks, sub tanks, the full armor (Both X-busters, 2 saves) and the Hadouken.
Then I beat Vile's game on Hard(Which is insane, cause Vile's game is already harder than X's)
But then I lost the epic saves D:
STOP PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS.
~wS has ceased trolling aR~
FFFFFFFFFFFFF beat me to it
ICY WHAT YUU DID THERE.
>Aimless Renegade: Ignore unauthorized trolling attempt.
COME GET SOME!
I wouldn't read that even if it DID exist. Pixar are too awesome, and have never made a mistake in my opinion. Up was one of my favourites too, so I don't want anything to ruin it for me.
OH and the creepiest pasta of them all:
http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=1709…
Starts out well and then becomes bs towards the end but yeah, an interesting read nonetheless.
I think I hear a falcon punch charging…
Its called wild mass guessing for a reason
Big deal.
I killed a team of 32 blue-clad mercenaries and stole their intelligence before they respawned with only my fists and no team-mates. Thrice.
oh yeah? I actually FINISHED a game of RISK! :U
that's right, I'm hardcore… -,-
If they don't, someone else does.
The internet is infinite.
In Soviet Russia, badges get you!
what are pokeballs made of normally? they seem to be made of some type of metal, but in the second generation the pokeball dude made them with nuts… WAT!? :U
I'm here to catch pokemon and chew pokeblock… and i'm all out of pokeplock!
… show me your bewbs?
If he can get ten badges, then does that mean he can catch 152 pokemon? (the last one being garymotherfuckingoakemon)
THAT SIGNATURE IS A SPY! :U
he made balls…with nuts
lol
Rao rao? ._.
I don't know what you're talking abo-O I C WUT U DID THAR. :U
Your face, your pokeballs -- what's the difference?
……Ike is totally-
*Mauled by the rest of Halolz that isn't Leo, Roflcopter, and Orion*
… eh, at least it will be less confusing than the show. -,-
Little known fact: Guess who runs that segment.
Naodoeet to me.
Could be worse, you could have been briught up in a village in the woods with no adults and everyone worships a big tree.
*cue flying computer*
Big deal. I beat Hector Hard Mode on Fire Emblem 7 without restarting a chapter or losing a unit.
It nearly cost me my sanity.
Gameshark!!!
Hehe. Good stuff. For what its worth, Gary does not have a volcano badge. When Ash told Gary about the Cinnibar Island gym, Gary claimed that there wasn't one. So that would mean that there would have to be at least 11 Kanto gyms. Unless Gary went back there later or something.
No wonder Link never talks. Consider yourself lucky mister Ketchum.
Based on that reaction, I take it back. Only Wolf can stop them.
well that was just my own reaction to the matter, and as we all know, Falcon helps those who show their moves.
*fangirls stop fawning, and begin beating the crap out of each other in a massive display of move showing*
…. aww, still no bewbs. :(
at least they stopped squealing. :T
Little known fact: The G Man.
Row row.
Also, radda radda.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So? I beat MGS: The Twin Snakes. On hard without radar. With the M9. ONLY THE M9.
gently down the stream?
Resist!!! RESIST!!! Drive away the urge. FIGHT IT Alpar!!!
TANJ! We're losing him!!! Quick, try to reclaim the thread. On subject! Stat!!!
Alpar was on his way to FE-jacking the thread. But guess who was already there, making gay jokes about EliWOOD. That's Right. Gary Fucking Oak.
Wash the unwashable, Clean the uncleanable!
Woah Woah, Take a Showah!!
Rinse the unrinseable, Scrub the unscrubable,
Woah Woah, Take a Showah!!
Wait, you said "(Of course, I take no credit for writing this epic.)" does that mean the whole story was fake or serious? I('m leaning to serious but…) I'm legitimately confused by what you were trying to say in that last sentence…
Those are Apricorns. They are nuts that are cracked open and fitted with a special device that stores the pokémon as energy. They were the ancient "prototype" for the modern, mass produced pokéball which is made by the Sliph Co.
oh really? take a good look at a heavy ball supposedly made from an apricorn by Kurt and tell me it's not made of metal. -,-
*Takes good look*
It's not made of metal.
Well, that wasn't so hard. The trick is to lie to people all the time.
Eliwood? If anyone's gay in FE, it's Ike and Soren.
Lrn2FireEmblem
Well it looks like you could still carve those bulbous bubbles on it…just would have to be a REALLY big Apricorn.
NOPE.avi
Silly tmotom, when will you ever learn? Games are for gamers!!! Not trolls.
… well you've got me there. :/
… ಠ_ಠ
Bah, I know he's straight, he's got a kid with either an Indian, a Dragon, or a a freakin Flying horse knight.
My point was Gary M. Oak does the impossible, before you even think about what IS possible. )=
ಠ_ಠ
You're walking through through Lavender Town, going to change your Squirtles name from "SHITBALLZ" to something a bit more appropriate, when FWOOSH. A big swirly special effect thing and out steps… Gary Motherfucking Oak. What does he have with him? 6 of the badges from here in Kanto, and 4 badges from ANOTHER FUCKING DIMENSION. He caught Palkia already. And Arceus. Twice.
Hmm… must either post a witty reply, or post somewhere garry oak has been >_<
Now what pokemons ass was gary oak in again?
Those really are interesting. I'm very doubtful those games/hacks actually exist, but if they did, I'd probably play them if I could, just for the sake of playing them. Also, the internet always knows how to make something innocent really creepy. ALWAYS.
FUCK GYMS I GOT BADGES MOTHERFUCKAH!!!
big deal.
i beat killer instinct 3 on hard using spinal.
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!
He's referencing the end scene of the first Pokemon movie B]
Pfft, I beat Cock of Doodle: Modern GayFuckStupid on easy with ALL HELPFUL cheats enabled!
NO! *-1 hammer*
he didn't have to earn any of them. they were automatically added to his badge case the moment ash got one. He didn't even have to train, his Pokemon AUTOMATICALLY level up. That's just how BAMF he is.
last copy too. Bought em all. Douche…
DON'T
USE
HAX
FAG
LOL
someone really needs to patch that 4chan leak, there seems to be a spillage of troll
http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=1
Sorry, it had to be done.
No, it's Jimmy The Murderdog.
HE gets you.
Here, let me tell you a story. It was nine years ago, I was only 10 years old. Me, my mom and dad and my older brother and younger sister decide to go on a picnic no more then a mile from our house. A nidoking, for no reason whatsoever attacks us. None of us were trainers; we had no pokemon to defend us. My dad and 16 year old brother died trying to save us, both of them ripped apart right in front of me, and then what does the nidoking do? He just walks the **** away, like we weren’t even worth his time. Maybe he just felt like killing some humans that day, I still have no clue why
The very same year, my little sister who was only 4 at the time, gets attacked, and stabbed through the heart, by a beedrill. My mom, who was trying only to rush her daughter to the hospital, is also stabbed and poisoned by the very same pokemon. She manages to make her to the hospital but it was far too late to save my sister. My mom’s body is paralyzed due to the poison’s effect and nearly dies as well; she was hospitalized for an entire year and can’t walk to this day………… Jerk.
Its worse than the oil spill… Wait, BP = oil spill, 4chan = troll spill… Does that mean, troll spill = oil spill, so, BP = 4chan?
On a side not… Do not -1 people! Its not nice! Only do it to people who deserve it! *Readies Autocannon for troll bombardment*.
If there is something I have learnt about opinions, it is mostly best to keep them to yourself…
Well I mean… You do get the joke, right? :-/
I didn't write this, it probs came from 4chan before it spread.
All of them?
OH!!! NOW I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR…
4chan…you deceived me again…you traitorous swine…
No no no. Only the opinions that suck. Without opinions, we wouldn't have Halolz.
Hahaha! You didn't honestly think I was pouring my heart out on a humorous video game caption website, did you?? XD
We are doing it, man.
We are making this happen.
There are, I think, 32 badges total. (4 generations, eight per gen). When I talked to Gary the other day, he had ninety-seven.
i told you man
i told you about gary oak!
It's still pronounced like "rao". *gets dictionary*
noun (rou)
1. A noisy dispute or quarrel; commotion.
2. noise or clamor.
Screw the rules, I have badges!
Not to mention we'd be living in a 1984-like world. (The book, not the actual year)
That book sucked SOOO MUCH. Stupid required reading…
Maaaaaybbbeee…
you say potato, I say RAO RAO! :U
You beat twin snakes on hard?
LOL
So you want Gary Oak to sleep with your mother while your on your epic Pokemon quest?
I can call him daddy!
If Mewtwo dun say it, I dun believe it,
and like AuraMaster just said, "Pics or it didn't happen"
No, at the time, the gym leaders were all hot girls.
Gary Oak pwned them all with his Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle, and his Eevee, boned them, and from then on, most of the hot girls were replaced.
Well, he did catch OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!
And he and Smugleaf became better friends than Ash and his Pikachu
I think this guy beat the Colonel. :O
I actually shot you.
With lasers.
Doesn't anyone else think that the 2nd from the right one in the top row looks a bit like a companion cube?
Did I say hard? I meant Douglas J. Falcon difficulty.
No, Gameshark uses Gary Oak.
Well let me tell YOU a story! Imagine your in my shoes for a second.
You've cooked up your favorite dish and your gonna serve it to your girlfriend and her family, to win them over. You've hidden a ring inside the food so you can propose. You walk in the kitchen to get it and who do you see with an empty plate in his hand and food round his mouth? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
impossible!
KILL THAT GUY! HIS POKEMON HAVE AIMBOTS or something….
-113!??!?! I'M THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you forget about Gary Oak?
theres no need for your shit! T~T
Lemme alone!!!
His Magikarp knows flamethrower.
His mother has a tattoo that says "son."
He once piledrived an Ursaring in front of Zangief, just to see him cry.
He is GARY FUCKING OAK.
The badges are now diamonds.
NEVER >=D
Not sure if anyone noticed it but the bottom middle badge he has seems to be the symbol for student drivers in Japan. It's seems that Gary is the only person allowed to drive at ten years old. DAMN YOU GARY OAK!
-111? I didn't even think we had that many people here, damn!
the halolz community comes down on trollz yo!
Only YOU can prevent undeserved -1ing!
I wish to own both of these, just so I can let my friend borrow them.
no he gay
O.o
ima trolla thats just gonna keep on trollin
By the way, do i get some kind of reward for -120 on my comment?
safari zone thats has kangaskan!!!!
Infamy and people egging your house
His skull is thicker than an oak lol
Seriously though, he didn’t get the cinnabar island badge either! He thought there was no gym there! Ash only found the gym with Blaine’s help! That leaves four badges missing! Did he go to the Orange Islands? NO! The badges are different, he can’t have gone to another regeon, because there were no others, so the only option left to Gary was (dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!) Forgery! Yaaay! Gary’s a crook!
A trial by a rigged jury and a death sentence.
Also, first comment and I already be hatin' on a troll! AMIDOINITRITE
Yes you get a pokemon :)
…ironic isn't it ;D
GOD DAMN YOU GARY OAK!
He'd better not be banging Maria…
gary fucking oak, he traveled though time to get three kanto badges, a sinoh badge, the companion cube, a driver's lisence, and three unidentifiable badges probably obtained from chuck norris, captain falcon, and littlekuriboh.
So much wrong with this comment
so your're walking through lavender town, and all of your pokemon has passed out, except for one, the weakest one, which dosn't even have half health left.
your are litterally two steps away from the pokemon center;
but who randomly jumps out of the bushes and asks for a pokemon batlle?
GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
So much is wrong with tmotom.
I just realized something. The green and orange one resembles a magnet elderly Japanese drivers have to put o the fronts and backs of their cars.
This dude is completely full of shit!
Well played.
He's a walking Pokémon Daycare??? No wonder he gets laid as much as he does!
First I read it. Then I sang it. Then I lol'd because it works.
So…. Mewtwo can ignore his girth?
I've read that. It's a really good read that can get you thinking. That is, until you remember that Pokémon is a kids show :P
Someone is actually turning the Silver version (With the armless Gold and whatnot) into a game with either flash or some game creator. I can't remember which.
WHAT THE FU*explosion*
Misty has three sisters?
Five of your pokemon are fainted, and the other is at half health. You are 3 squares away from the pokemon center, and who shows up to challenge you to a battle? GARY OAK.
You just finished wrestling a shark underwater, and you stunned it long enough to climb on top of a boat. You're beaten down, bloody, and tired. You start lifting yourself up, and who shows up to stomp your fingers? GARY OAK.
You just discovered the cure for cancer, and you decide to wait until the next day to release it to the public. The next morning you turn on the news, and who just released their cure for cancer? GARY OAK.
Gary Oak just finished beating you up at kung-fu, and he's walking down the street. He looks at himself in a mirror, and he gets hit by a car. Why? Because not even GARY OAK can escape GARY OAK.
Can somone tell me how he got a damn Cascadebadge?
wait misty has sisters… OH SHI-
also he beat every game in the universe on guess what… CHUCK NORRIS DIFFICULTY WITH WOLF WEAPON BLOCK(no weapons that means) and enemies had falcon punch attack power his only weapon was his girth CURSE YOU GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK!! also im on a mountain waiting for red i got his phone in my pocket
Well, technically only in the game are there 8 gyms. In the anime there are more because of that one dude that had his badges stolen by team rocket showed us some cut scenes of him fighting in different gyms. So that's why Gary had 10 badges and we also forget he didn't fight Giovanni yet to get that badge(which if he won, would have places him at 11)