Just when you thought your rocket launcher gave you the edge over all others, Captain Falcon appears to put you in your place. Mess with the Falcon and you get the punch!
By Oliver R.
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Just when you thought your rocket launcher gave you the edge over all others, Captain Falcon appears to put you in your place. Mess with the Falcon and you get the punch!
By Oliver R.
![]() |
57 Responses to “I HAVE A FALCON PUNCH”
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Looks like you just got…
*sunglasses*
Burned!
He has a Falcon Punch
Our God is invalid
Our sense of safety and concept of all things in the universe are invalid.
Meet the Captain!
What makes me a good Cptn Falcon? If I was a bad Cptn Falcon I wouldn't be here punching your rockets, now would I?!
So Falcon Punches now deflect rockets? What else can they do?
Cure cancer (by completely destroying the cancer AND it host)
Roast an entire barbecue in .03 seconds (Tastes delicious)
Create a rip in the space-time continuum
Each and everyone of our arguments are invalid
Alternate caption:
Snake- Damn, my zipper got stuck again
Falcon- I FIX!
Safety was valid to begin with?
-1 troll alert!
The real question is, What CAN'T a Falcon Punch do.
the power of Falcon compels you!
SNAKE? DON'T PIK AT IT!
Oh come on! It's the Goddamn Captain Falcon! He dosn't need a falcon punch, every argument becomes invalid when he's close
What if our God is Captain Falcon?
What? I don't have a Rocket Lawn Chair…
Can it kill itself?
I'll just do what everyone does.
-1 troll is in the base?
+3 Win.
Can it fix a TV?
WE NEED TO PROTECT +1!!
Ok we all know that Falcon Punch solves every mankind's problem, but why do we have to keep state the obvious??
That's a Falcon? Looks more like a fucking daemon.
It can force to TV to fix ITSELF.
Well…that's not your case. Your case would probably be some grammar idol. Unless you're polytheistic.
The amount of comments kissing up to Captain Falcon bug me, but I shouldn't be surprised.
Cpt. Falcon has a Falcon Punch.
Our existence is invalid.
Captain Falcon doesn't ordain you. He punches the evil out of you, and you become a priest if you survive the initial contact, plus 12 months of intense burn therapy.
Alright I got this…Stand back, son! +1+1+1, uhhhh… +1!
INCOMIIIIIIIING!!!
Like the majority of Grammar Nazis, I worship a pantheon of Gods, which includes:
- Internet Hitler
- Grammar Nazi Cat
- Bob the Angry Flower
- Darth Vader
- MC Grammar
- Hans Landa
- Rommel
It kinda looks like everyone's staring at Snake's crotch. Even the Falcon. Captain Falcon looks like he's kinda peeking at it out of the corner of his eyes.
…
Sorry, I'll go leave now…
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH—Hey our Epeen's still here!
There's nothing it can't do. Why do you think Wolf is the anti-Falcon? HE HAS TO LET HIM DO THAT, FALCON PUNCH!
You haven't upgraded to the new Crocket Lawn Chair?
HI DM1293 HERE! WITH AN AWESOME NEW PRODUCT!
ARE YOU TIRED OF YOUR ROCKETS BEING DEFLECTED? ARE YOU STILL USING THE OUTDATED ROCKET LAWN CHAIR? TRY OUR NEWLY UPGRADED CROCKET LAWN CHAIR!
WHY? LOOK AT ITS PATENTED GLOWING-DETECTION CROCKETS, LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THIS ONE IS NO ORDINARY ROCKET, ITS A CROCKET! IT GIBS, IT DOES AOE, IT EVEN DOES YOUR TAXES! BY BLOWING UP THE IRS.
ITS EVEN BIODEGRADABLE!
Soldier: I wasn't some namby pamby skeptic! I WANTED A ROCKET LAUNCHER MY DAD WOULD'VE LIKED TO HAVE BEEN KILLED WITH. And now, with this AMERICAN STEEL MADE CROCKET LAUNCHER, my dad came back as a zombie JUST TO GET KILLED BY ME. AND THAT IS WHAT I WANNA SEE.
Snake: *muffled noises under casts* (Well, I was too late to try the new Crocket Lawn Chair….but maybe when I'm done healing in two years, I'll have regenerated enough of my bones and muscles and undergone enough therapy to attempt using it!)
AND ALL THIS FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF TEN EASY PAMENTS OF 900 DOLLARS AND 10 CENTS. ORDER NOW AND WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR OFFER AND YOUR CROCKETS, ABSOLUTELY FREE.
THATS RIGHT. ANOTHER NEW PATENTED CROCKET LAWN CHAIR FREE! DOUBLE THE CROCKETS, FREE, AND WE'LL EVEN INCLUDE A SIGHT SYSTEM TO SNIPE PEOPLE WITH YOUR GLOWING ROCKETS.
(warning people using the crocket lawn chair have suffered from burns cuts scrapes explosions broken limbs a weird taste in their mouthes cancer and death. Using the crocket lawn chair is not guaranteed against Captain Falcon because he's still a god and the only one known to man unable to bleed. Before using crocket lawn chair ask your doctor if you're healthy enough to withstand the recoil.)
ORDER NOW! (888) WE-SCAM-U
You're a scout, FFS! Shouldn't you advertise Sham-Bonk?
But could a Falcon Punch create a being so powerful that it could defeat the Falcon Punch?
Ahem. Gentlemen. I see the Epeen is safe.
Yeah it is.
I think you mean FALCON FIX!
Tell me, did anyone happened to -1 a troll on the way here?
"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the Hell do you think I am? I'm the Goddamn Captain Falcon!" (Said after Falcon Bitch Slapping a 12 year old boy who just watched his parents murdered in front of him)
…Yeah, I like the regular Captain Falcon more. He was a lot more fun.
Until Snake, being the cheap and over-powered twat that he is makes the missile do a 360, five figure eights, and a zig-zag before making it come all the way back toward them.
I'm just waiting for a food advertisement…
*Dons bonk helmet*
You're gonna love my nuts.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDADISPENSAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHERE
No? Then we still have a problem
Really? We've distributed +1s to everyone. I don't see a problem.
I've -1 plenty of trolls; they're dime-a-dozen flamewar-starting scumbags -- like you! No offense.
well it can do anything, so yes…. but will it? Nope.avi
you cannot ignore snakes girth
…
If you've managed to -1 them then I can assure you they were NOT like me. And nothing, NOTHING like the Troll that is loose inside this building!
Invalid is invalid
I knew someone would finally kill the rocket launcher joke, It was a pain in the ass in TF2
What, are you president of his fanclub?
No. THAT WOULD BE YOUR FATHER! *Slaps down gay pornography*
SO LISTEN UP BOY! Or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today.
it seems as though that everyone is forgetting about the legendary chuck norris.