FALCON ALMIGHTY - He’s up there, watching your moves

Wow, I didn’t even realize Captain Falcon had passed on! I guess he’s up in heaven punching angels now…
Submission by Mr.Raccoon, screenshot by Lightningboalt

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 27, 2009 · 3:21 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (335 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5)
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Church of Falcon, F-Zero, Motivational, Nintendo, Spiritual Enlightenment, Super Smash Bros, Wii

· Leave a comment (69 Comments)


69 Responses to “FALCON ALMIGHTY”

  1. Deadalive on February 27th, 2009 8:36 am


    I don't want him to falcon punch something…

  2. Zink120 on February 27th, 2009 3:56 am

    Simbaaaa… Rememberrrrrrr….

  3. TweAK on February 27th, 2009 10:28 am

    My ears still hurt from the last time he said YES!

  4. Bulletproof Moon on February 27th, 2009 11:09 am

    On the 7th day, he created the falcon punch

  5. Nick Soapdish on February 27th, 2009 11:17 am

    Now I know what religion I'm putting down for all future forms or censuses. Yes!

  6. Taiho on February 27th, 2009 11:18 am

    Our Falcon, who art in Mute City, awesome be thy moves.
    Thy meme has come, thy pose be done.
    On Earth, as it is in Halolz.
    Give us this day our Falcon punch.
    And show us your moves, as we show our moves to those against us.
    Lead us not unto Mudkipz,
    but deliver us from Star Wolf.
    For thine is the coolness, and the lolz, and the glory.
    For ever and ever, YES!

  7. Leo058 on February 27th, 2009 1:34 pm


  8. Leo058 on February 27th, 2009 1:35 pm

    He's up in heaven, showing his moves to God now…

  9. MasqueNoMercy on February 27th, 2009 3:09 pm

    And then Falcon said "Show me your moves!" and so moves were shown all throughout the world, and they were good


  10. FoxyMayo on February 27th, 2009 3:23 pm


  11. Necro on February 27th, 2009 3:29 pm

    I pray for the ass-kicking of the "Celing G-Man" every morning, now I know my prays have been heeded. YES!

  12. hotrods4ben on February 27th, 2009 4:50 pm

    I C WUT U DID THAR!!1!!!1!! But it's still funny :D

  13. Cheat2Win on February 27th, 2009 5:15 pm

    You sir, have won one free internet.

  14. g1drake on February 27th, 2009 1:14 pm

    on the seventh day, falcon used FALCON PUNCH… and so he shaped the EARTH

  15. MrRaccoon on February 27th, 2009 6:39 pm

    "You shall show your moves to no one but me"
    Falcon Bible, chapter IV

  16. SalNightmare209 on February 27th, 2009 7:09 pm

    In The Name Of Almighty Falcon! YES!

  17. Paul d'Arbonne on February 27th, 2009 7:36 pm

    It's so… beautiful!

  18. Paiv on February 27th, 2009 8:48 pm

    Fun Fact:
    A falcon punch is so powerful that it can kill gods.

  19. MexicanJuice on February 27th, 2009 9:41 pm

    *sniff* Now it's up to Kirby to pass on the legacy of the Falcon Punch. May the Captain oversee him on his journey.

  20. Star Wolf on February 27th, 2009 11:20 pm

    Can let you show your moves up there.

  21. Daifuku on February 27th, 2009 11:49 pm

    Captain Falcon has shown his best move of all…ETERNITY!!!

  22. BlueChameleon on February 27th, 2009 8:11 pm

    On the first day, Captain Falcon said 'Let there be Light', and a punch was thrown so powerful that its flames lit up the universe. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the second day, Captain Falcon said, 'Let there be stages on which many great battles will be fought.' and it was done. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the third day, Captain Falcon said, 'Let there be moves which will be shown on the stages of battle.' and it was done. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the fourth day, Captain Falcon said, 'Let there be items to assist those in battle.' and it was done. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the fifth day, Captain Falcon said, 'Let there be Pokemon that fill the sea and the sky.' and it was done. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the sixth day, Captain Falcon said, 'Let there be brawlers who fight these battles to defend their honour.' and it was done. He saw this, and it was good.
    On the seventh say, Captain Falcon bought a Wii. And Captain Falcon said 'Let there be Brawl'.

  23. Someguy on February 28th, 2009 12:17 am

    CAPTAIN FALCON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. Angel.9 Rakou Cobra on February 28th, 2009 2:05 am

    Oh… oh no… I just KO'd him in Brawl… I had no idea—
    I'm-I'm sorry, O Almighty Falcon!! Don't smite me!!

  25. tveye on February 28th, 2009 3:07 am

    Every time you masturbate, Captain Falcon PAWWWNNCCHHHes a kitten.

  26. AuraMaster on February 27th, 2009 10:13 pm

    Ten Commandments of Falcon
    I. I am the only Captain. You will not have any other Captains before me.
    II. You shall not main with a clone of the Captain
    III. You shall not use the Captain in vain.
    IV. Remember to show me your moves, and keep them awesome.
    V. Honor my moves.
    VI. You shall not murder (unless by Falcon Punch).
    VII. You shall not commit a self-destruct.
    VIII. You shall not recover if hit by a Falcon Punch.
    IX. You shall not bear any grudge to somebody who beats you using the Captain.
    X. You shall not covet anything that is not a part of the Captain's moveset.

  27. Exploderizer on February 28th, 2009 3:28 am

    No, Super Cool Jesus = Captain Falcon.

  28. Exploderizer on February 28th, 2009 3:29 am


  29. Ryan on February 28th, 2009 5:47 am

    Only one problem with your comment Shawn… Captain. Falcon. Never. Dies. EVER. Apologize and may Falcon have mercy on your soul.

  30. KingofRetards on February 28th, 2009 3:05 am

    Lets have a moment of silence for the great falcon.

  31. Kharanos on March 2nd, 2009 12:06 am

    Mind you Shawn, he was punching angels before he died (in heaven, at that). Also, falcon has no need for dying, he just went to heaven while alive, beat up god, and took his place.

  32. MrRaccoon on March 2nd, 2009 12:25 am

    I second that

  33. Trent on March 2nd, 2009 7:45 pm

    Yes. People fail to realize he's not dead. He just did a Falcon Dive up into the sky so he could hump-throw an angel. The worst part is when he comes falling back to the ground with a gravity induced earth shattering FALCOOOOONEEE PAWWWWWWWNCH!

  34. MasqueNoMercy on March 3rd, 2009 9:35 pm

    i think theres a video clip on this site of what that would look like…

  35. Steamster on March 3rd, 2009 11:36 pm

    HEY SHAWN!!!!

    you NEED you start making a spray page with epic wins like this as spray-friendly images for games that use the intrawebs, that way we could convert the non-believers in every TF2 match!

  36. FALCON PRAYER : Halolz on March 6th, 2009 5:16 am

    […] whipped this one up (after the Falcon Almighty submission) and wants to see a Church of Falcon. I think that’s the best idea I’ve […]

  37. The anti-Falcon : Halolz on March 11th, 2009 8:36 pm

    […] Falcon watches over you from above, Wolf is down below… biding his time….. waiting for the day he will return to our world […]

  38. Sargeant Falcon on March 22nd, 2009 2:27 am

    He was destroyed by the epic awesomeness of his own Falcon Punch, but his spirit remained. He gave himself so that we mortals may grow and prosper. Now each day he watches over us, and each day we show him our moves so that he may judge us as worthy, whom he shall protect from those who have fallen prey to the Wolf.

  39. Dumbcube69 on May 26th, 2009 8:50 pm

    hella funny

  40. sam on October 20th, 2009 4:44 pm


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