Realistic Musclekarp

Bro, do you even lift? A gritty realistic take on a classic Musclemon!
By farticulatematter

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 26, 2013 · 8:41 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (108 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Categories:
Artistic, Bulking Up, Growth Spurt, Nintendo, No Caption Needed, Pokémon, Weird

· Leave a comment (123 Comments)





 

123 Responses to “Realistic Musclekarp”

  1. Porecomesis on March 26th, 2013 8:58 am

    Those muscles are truly larger than life.

  2. Fhantinabox on March 26th, 2013 9:12 am

    Give that…that thing a water stone so it can evolve!!

  3. Vabolo on March 26th, 2013 9:44 am

    First of all, magikarps evolve via level-up at level twenty.

    Secondly, Musclekarp cannot evolve further, as it is clearly at least level one hundred already.

  4. SirNumel on March 26th, 2013 9:46 am

    Bro, do you even splash?

  5. Vabolo on March 26th, 2013 9:47 am

    Guys, you gotta help me!

    I tried getting it to use another move than Bulk-Up, but it won't even listen to me.

    I HAVE ALL THE BADGES, AND IT'S TELLING ME I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH.

  6. The Pualrus on March 26th, 2013 10:23 am

    Its body mass is so great, it is relying on additional regions yet undiscovered.

    You must go and win 128 badges to get this Musclemon to obey you. By this time next week, it will be 132.
    Addiction is a powerful thing.

  7. Wetmang on March 26th, 2013 10:31 am

    Now just hook him up to the Muscle Musical Instrument!
    <img src=http://community.vfs.com/oomph/wp-content/themes/vfsprogram/cache/e61e6ec5a7c998fe58a3ba21e1c317d7?src=%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F2%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F08%2Foldspice-screen-grab.jpg&q=80&w=640>

  8. MasterLuigi452 on March 26th, 2013 1:06 pm

    I will be honest with you.
    This doesn't look that disturbing in the realistic view.

  9. wolfpax181 on March 26th, 2013 1:07 pm

    Man, I'd say that's at least level 9001.

    *patiently waits for the reply*

  10. Vabolo on March 26th, 2013 1:26 pm
  11. KZN02 on March 26th, 2013 1:49 pm

    Those Rare Candies sure worked.

  12. Jostimaster on March 26th, 2013 2:38 pm

    you can't get over 800 without doping. Do you want to suggest Lance uses doping?

  13. Fhantinabox on March 26th, 2013 3:16 pm

    Yes he does. He at least has the balls to do it…

  14. UndeadLex on March 26th, 2013 3:17 pm
  15. dude234543 on March 26th, 2013 4:05 pm

    I'll listen! Just don't hurt me!!!

  16. Jostimaster on March 26th, 2013 4:05 pm

    I'm wondering how that's even possible.
    Everytime I try to ride my bike indoors or use doping professor Oak tells me "There's a time and place for everything! But not now."

  17. HughbertReturns on March 26th, 2013 4:29 pm

    Dare ye imagine the next level of this foul beasts evolutioning?

  18. Alpar on March 26th, 2013 9:51 pm

    Just wait until you see Flail.

  19. Alpar on March 26th, 2013 9:53 pm

    HEY GUYS UNTOONED MUSCLE KIRBY!

  20. Alpar on March 26th, 2013 9:53 pm

    Well they can sure beat the living to dead…

  21. Hyze on March 26th, 2013 10:18 pm

    [youtube yg2u_De8j5o rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  22. Engy_with_hat on March 26th, 2013 10:41 pm

    Magickarp is evolving into gara- NOPE Musclekarp
    Musclekarp learned PUNCH.
    Congratulations?
    New data was added(?) to the poxedex

  23. Yoshi_Dino on March 26th, 2013 11:19 pm

    [youtube NgR3N8y4boQ rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  24. DeceptiveDRHOBO on March 26th, 2013 11:47 pm

    Lance does what he wants 'cause he has dragonites https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qe9O90cD80

  25. Prof. Luigi on March 27th, 2013 12:48 am

    Okay mate.

  26. Soul Eater 676 on March 27th, 2013 1:16 am

    Please no realistic Dicklet.

    ANYTHING BUT THAT! I WOULD RATHER HAVE A PONY POST THAN THAT!

  27. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 27th, 2013 3:39 am

    OH GOD SOMEBODY GET WOLF IN HERE ALREADY BEFORE ALPAR CREATES A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!! SHAWN!!! SHAWN!!!!!! ANSWER ME SHAAAAAAWWWWN!!!!!!!!!!

  28. blargenth on March 27th, 2013 9:25 am

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH Who lives in a weight lifting gym under the sea?!

  29. Alpar on March 27th, 2013 10:38 am

    YOU HEARD THE MAN!
    TIME FOR A SACRIFICE SO IT NEVER HAPPENS!
    http://th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/128/c/

    Shawndidit.

    *runs away*

  30. Alpar on March 27th, 2013 10:40 am

    That's sure one advanced Pokedex if it can record new moves now.

    Is this what I've been missing after dropping out of the series?

  31. TheRealKirby on March 27th, 2013 12:32 pm

    Oh my.

  32. HughbertReturns on March 27th, 2013 1:56 pm

    THE TEARROR

  33. Uzumakiclan43 on March 27th, 2013 3:54 pm

    It's like its left eye is constantly searching for its next victim, focusing its right eye on you as it sucks your soul into its big, gaping black hole of a mouth.

  34. Jimmy on March 27th, 2013 4:48 pm

    *High fives Alpar* LOLOLOLOL

    Alpar: Giving people what they want (and sometimes things they didn't even know that they wanted) since…well forever

  35. Jimmy on March 27th, 2013 4:52 pm

    <img src="https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7085872384/h1B7C8039/&quot; length="400" width="400">

    Trainin' everyday.

  36. Jimmy on March 27th, 2013 4:53 pm

    That's my ringtone when that annoying friend of mine calls.

  37. Soul Eater 676 on March 27th, 2013 5:40 pm

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    DAMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

    ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR

  38. Sceptilianblade on March 27th, 2013 5:58 pm

    Although you have to admit, you walked right into that one.

  39. SpectralSheep on March 27th, 2013 6:19 pm

    Ha!

  40. Alpar on March 27th, 2013 7:14 pm

    <img src="http://emotibot.net/pix/1178.jpg"&gt;

    ART THOU INFURIATED?

  41. ChaoPLS on March 27th, 2013 7:16 pm
  42. Vabolo on March 27th, 2013 8:10 pm

    Or rather, the ball.

  43. Vabolo on March 27th, 2013 8:13 pm

    Uhh…Do you need to rest a little, dude? Maybe drink some water?

  44. Vabolo on March 27th, 2013 8:15 pm
  45. Soul Eater 676 on March 27th, 2013 8:23 pm

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD
    DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNIIITTTTTTTTTTT
    VAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBOOLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  46. SpectralSheep on March 27th, 2013 9:36 pm

    Maybe Gary Motherfucking Oak could help you. After all, he has 10 of Kanto's 8 gym badges.

  47. Funkalicous on March 27th, 2013 10:09 pm

    Um… Aquaman?

  48. Vabolo on March 28th, 2013 1:39 am

    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!

    Aberrent and orange and monstruous is he!

  49. Vabolo on March 28th, 2013 1:46 am

    It's in here somewhere, so have a gander!
    [youtube Eiz0a4U0JIM rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  50. HughbertReturns on March 28th, 2013 7:14 am

    Yeessssss
    YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
    BLOOOOOOOOOOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOOOOOOOD
    LET THE UNIVERSE
    DrrrrrRRRRRooooOOOOOOOOOOOWWNNNN IN IT

  51. SpectralSheep on March 28th, 2013 9:23 am

    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!

    If splashing and flailing is something you wish!

  52. SpectralSheep on March 28th, 2013 12:20 pm

    LOLS FOR THE LOL GOD!
    MEMES FOR THE MEME THRONE!

  53. MetroidJunkie on March 28th, 2013 4:30 pm

    If you fall asleep while Ripplypuff sings, you never wake back up.

    <img src="http://fsa.zedge.net/scale.php?img=OS82LzUvMS8xLTg1OTkzMDQtOTY1MTc2OS5qcGc&ctype=1&v=4&q=81&xs=620&ys=383&sig=07d2730e9449eb7be482f2d3bc47239aa0d641bd&quot; alt="Jigglypuff" width="240" height="320">

  54. HughbertReturns on March 28th, 2013 6:16 pm

    What is that between the legs
    WHAT IS THAT BETWEEN THE LEGS
    AH
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  55. Nightmarekiba on March 28th, 2013 6:45 pm
  56. pokemon_girl on March 28th, 2013 7:35 pm

    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!
    then jump in the sea and get punched by a fish!

  57. MetroidJunkie on March 28th, 2013 7:42 pm

    I don't see anything there. Don't you know what steroids does to your body?

  58. Vabolo on March 28th, 2013 8:31 pm

    I'LL DRINK THE LOL FROM THEIR HEARTS!

  59. Vabolo on March 28th, 2013 8:33 pm

    Brings new meaning to the term "Sleeper Hold"!

  60. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 28th, 2013 9:10 pm

    Cool! A broken link!

  61. Earl the Lemon on March 28th, 2013 9:14 pm

    [youtube umDr0mPuyQc rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  62. Soul Eater 676 on March 28th, 2013 9:58 pm

    AND I'LL EAT THE SOULS OF TH-

    wait this is against me….

    DAMNIT!

  63. Soul Eater 676 on March 28th, 2013 9:58 pm

    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD
    DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMNNNIIIIIIIITTTTTT
    EEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDIIINNNNNNGGGGGG

  64. DeceptiveDRHOBO on March 29th, 2013 1:40 am

    i am scarred forever

  65. Caelun_Niveus on March 29th, 2013 10:36 am

    Killing is Badonk?

  66. Uzumakiclan43 on March 29th, 2013 12:21 pm

    So, wait, Ripplypuff is basically an obscenely buff angel?
    You know, this:
    <img src="http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120204130848/tardis/images/b/be/Series5weepingangels.jpg"&gt;
    Also, that's not its junk, that's just a dark-pink spaghetti strap loincloth. Odd choice of color scheme, really, but, eh, who am I to judge a 'mon with such rippling pectorals?

  67. HughbertReturns on March 29th, 2013 1:35 pm

    BEHOLD YOUR NEW GODS!
    ARE THEY NOT TERRIBLE TO BEHOLD?!
    FROM THIS LINK, THEY WILL CONQUER THE NEXT!
    AND THE ONE AFTER THAT!

  68. Nightmarekiba on March 29th, 2013 2:45 pm

    Ok, apparently I failed at copy and pasting a url. I shall be in the corner of shame after I try again. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/62074/2/friendshi

  69. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 29th, 2013 3:13 pm

    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!
    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!
    MUSCLEKARP MANHANDS!
    MUSCLEKAAAAARP
    MANHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDS!

  70. Soul Eater 676 on March 29th, 2013 6:48 pm

    I'm afraid.

  71. HughbertReturns on March 29th, 2013 8:29 pm

    FROM THIS DAY FORWARD
    WE SHALL NOT HAVE A RAINBOW
    BUT AN ENDLESS SPECTRUM ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
    IN THEIR NAME

  72. BTSnoogans on March 29th, 2013 8:38 pm

    "Are you ready kids?"
    "GOD, NO CAPTAIN!"
    "TOO BAD!"

  73. BTSnoogans on March 29th, 2013 8:43 pm

    No? You want a smoke and a pancake?
    [youtube IGcwEs-jL8Y rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  74. Morgan Freeman on March 30th, 2013 12:09 am

    BTSnoogans i am your farjar

  75. Soul Eater 676 on March 30th, 2013 12:32 am

    <img src=http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/LDnu0giUS00/mqdefault.jpg>

    Amen

  76. blizzarddemon on March 30th, 2013 1:02 am
  77. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 1:47 am

    Oh my. Try killing it with fire!

  78. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 1:48 am

    It's been too long since we had a pony post on this site.

  79. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 1:49 am

    That doesn't fit the original song, unless you start the measure on "in"! (It's two syllables too long.)

  80. Zyquux on March 30th, 2013 5:47 am

    I love all of you.

  81. Leo E. on March 30th, 2013 9:34 am

    Just another example of the discrimination that boy gamers face every time they want to pose half-naked with controllers covering their nipples.

  82. Vabolo on March 30th, 2013 10:44 am
  83. Vabolo on March 30th, 2013 10:46 am

    It's not very effective…

  84. Vabolo on March 30th, 2013 10:48 am

    Well, if we're going to post off-topic things we've found on tumblr…
    [youtube k2Zp1UFZgyw rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  85. dope92 on March 30th, 2013 11:32 am

    hmmm…. relevant post.

    let's see here. buff, weird, badass in it's own way…

    AHA! BADASS IN IT'S OWN WAY!

    RELEVANT POST IS GOOOOO!!

    <img src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll208/masked-avenger/nidalee_zpsac6063e9.png&quot; border="0" alt=" photo nidalee_zpsac6063e9.png"/>

    *phew* there

  86. Alpar on March 30th, 2013 11:46 am

    Not that we need that many more.

  87. Alpar on March 30th, 2013 11:47 am

    I blame the fact Shawn updates once every six years.

  88. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 30th, 2013 12:59 pm

    IF ONLY WE HAD SOMEPLACE TO POST THESE THINGS
    WOE IS ME
    BLAH BLAH BLAH FORUMS
    And now no one else has to say it.

  89. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 3:02 pm

    You'd think it would be, on a fish thing.

  90. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 3:03 pm
  91. Soul Eater 676 on March 30th, 2013 3:07 pm

    How about a no?

  92. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 3:38 pm

    Oh, shush. It's good and you know it.

  93. Uzumakiclan43 on March 30th, 2013 4:45 pm

    Speaking of irrelevant topics, guess what part of our childhoods Capcom is bringing back in all of its glory?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N0PzqF9gWY

  94. BTSnoogans on March 30th, 2013 7:06 pm

    I sure am glad I read that in Morgan Freeman's voice. It had quite an amazing effect.

  95. Alpar on March 30th, 2013 7:12 pm

    That's not the problem.

    The problem with the typical brony and/or idea of constantly having MLP posts so long as it's videogame related is incrdibly stupid.

    We don't need the fandom's videogame crossovers, we'd have too many pony posts we don't need when other things like Touhou have been waiting since near the dawn of Halolz.
    There are also plenty of other sites for that not to mention. And the fact all the hardcore bronies are either gonna encourage pushing their fandom where it's not needed/wanted, and then getting butthurt because the idea doesn't get accepted, is also inane.

  96. Alpar on March 30th, 2013 7:14 pm

    Woah, Capcom doing something somewhat right since MMxSF.

    What a shocker.
    (Seriously.)

  97. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 7:16 pm

    Well, regarding the Touhou thing, I think there are lots of other sites similar to Halolz that I can think of that are better and faster at posting about visitor submissions than this site is. Not going to say what those sites are, though one of them has the initials of DD or EM.

  98. Alpar on March 30th, 2013 7:24 pm
  99. dogman15 on March 30th, 2013 7:27 pm

    Fine. I was talking about Discord's Domain.

    But that's a nice bit of Ed animation there.

  100. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 30th, 2013 7:53 pm

    I certainly hope they go through with this, and that nothing goes…
    …afowl

  101. Uzumakiclan43 on March 30th, 2013 8:04 pm
  102. Uzumakiclan43 on March 30th, 2013 8:32 pm

    As well as beat the dead back to life!

  103. Sonicsmash2 on March 30th, 2013 9:12 pm

    They're even using the same 94 year old Voice actor for Scrooge, Alan Young.
    This game is on my "Buy upon release" list.

    But for now…..MONSTER HUNTEEEEEEEEEEEEEER & LUIGI'S MANSIOOOOOOOOOOON.

  104. SpectralSheep on March 30th, 2013 11:00 pm

    Ed Edd n' Eddy?

    IT WAS A GOOD SHOW!

  105. Vabolo on March 31st, 2013 12:54 am

    Yes, I couldn't suffer anatidae where Capcom bails out on us to pay the bills! It would ruffle my feathers and make my mind quack!

  106. SpaghettiWeegee on March 31st, 2013 12:54 am

    I thought it was Jigglybuff's left foot. You know, with shading.

  107. Soul Eater 676 on March 31st, 2013 12:56 am

    Alpar, sidding with me?

    [youtube wr9KWbazgso rel="nofollow"> youtube]

    But besides the point, yeah the Anti-Bronies just don't want you guys infecting sites that shouldn't be infected.

  108. blizzarddemon on March 31st, 2013 2:15 pm

    My posts lead to new topics :D

  109. HughbertReturns on March 31st, 2013 2:45 pm

    Woah
    Did I just drop below 100p?
    MY LIFE IS FORFEIT

  110. Jimmy on March 31st, 2013 3:34 pm

    <img src="http://funnymama.com/store/130330/163315_v0_600x.png&quot; length="400" width="400">

    Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you KRATOS JIGGLYPUFF.

  111. Alpar on March 31st, 2013 6:45 pm

    You my good friend are incorrect.

    It was a great show.

  112. Alpar on March 31st, 2013 6:46 pm

    Well hey you're not always wrong.

    Regardless though, that's the only problem with any fandom. They shouldn't force you to like things or talk about things when it's by no means called for.

  113. Soul Eater 676 on April 1st, 2013 12:03 am

    Don't be me kid.

  114. BraveSirJimOfLawl on April 1st, 2013 1:36 am

    Half of Peter Griffin just committed suicide before my very eyes.
    I'm half traumatized.

  115. BraveSirJimOfLawl on April 1st, 2013 1:38 am

    The site itself intervened and protected us from witnessing such a horror.

  116. dogman15 on April 1st, 2013 3:27 am

    It would appear I now have 100p!

  117. Jimmy on April 1st, 2013 8:29 am

    Damn it. Hold on I'mma fix it.

    <img src="http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/061/1/7/god_of_puff_by_sunnief-d5womhn.png&quot; length="400" width="400">

    Edit: Never go to Funnymama.com they don't host shit properly. Had to reverse image search to find this again…

  118. Alpar on April 1st, 2013 10:20 am

    …g-guys.

    It's April Fails Day.
    Shawn was supposed to have posted something by now…

    He… he's just screwing around with us!
    Halolz isn't dead he's just waiting to say April Fools thinking the site actually is!
    R-right?!

  119. Solar Boy Django on April 1st, 2013 10:39 am

    I dunno man but. [youtube Z6qEESY4x4U&feature=share&list=UULXnUdolJsprz7P1ZqoheaQ rel="nofollow"> youtube] BAM. April Fool's Guild Wars 2 style. For the whole month.

  120. Alpar on April 1st, 2013 11:11 am

    I dunno about you, but I know how I'm celebrating until then.

    Yeah, I don't know. Old jokes are all I can think of right now.

  121. Alpar on April 1st, 2013 11:15 am

    So long as this somehow doesn't tire itself out I don't mind.

  122. Alpar on April 1st, 2013 12:04 pm

    It's show time!

  123. Alpar on April 1st, 2013 2:13 pm

    Too bad this would be a lot more noticeable if Shawn posted something.

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