If this game’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 7, 2013 · 11:44 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (136 votes, average: 4.40 out of 5)
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Categories:
Adult Situations, Awkward Moments, Capcom, Eidos, Electronic Arts, Foreign Object, Grand Theft Auto, Metal Gear Solid, Nintendo, Pokémon, Portal, Power-Ups, Rockstar, SimCity/The Sims, Street Fighter, Tetris, Tomb Raider, Valve Software, Video Clips

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72 Responses to “[VIDEO] Sex in Video Games”

  1. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 11:51 am

    FIRST!

    Now see if we had Wolf Wednesdays then Wolf wouldn't have let me do that.
    Do you see what's happened to Halolz without Wolf here to protect it?

  2. Kenpachi RAMASAMA on March 7th, 2013 11:57 am

    You…you said…the F word!

  3. Th3l4st0ne on March 7th, 2013 12:01 pm

    Still a better troll story than Stalin.

  4. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 12:04 pm

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

  5. Uzumakiclan43 on March 7th, 2013 12:06 pm

    Hey! A new post! * Clicks on page, reads title and watches video as page loads*
    <img src="http://memeorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/abandon-gif-thread.gif"&gt;

  6. Hyze on March 7th, 2013 12:18 pm

    In others news, Xiaolin Showdown is coming back!
    http://www.lagardere-entertainment.com/en/module/

  7. Shawn Handyside on March 7th, 2013 12:30 pm
  8. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 12:41 pm

    Hahaha, I fucking love you Shawn.

  9. HughbertReturns on March 7th, 2013 1:28 pm

    Shawn
    You aren't French
    We aren't French
    Stop it

  10. Sceptilianblade on March 7th, 2013 1:34 pm

    Shawn. What are you doing? It's bad enough with just Zoe.
    Shawn. Stahp.

  11. Darth_Destro on March 7th, 2013 1:49 pm

    Someone has to take up the slack since she hasn't posted anything in a while.

  12. Ryu Bonkosi on March 7th, 2013 2:00 pm
  13. Arch_Evil_Angel on March 7th, 2013 2:14 pm

    Trying to get Wolf Wedensdays reestablished: ok, that's cool.

    Posting really stupid and insulting copy pasta in response to someone's benign comment: sorry, can't get behind that. -1 for you, sir.

  14. Nightmarekiba on March 7th, 2013 2:21 pm

    Our tax dollars at work.

  15. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 2:38 pm

    They see me trollin, they hatin…..

  16. Uzumakiclan43 on March 7th, 2013 3:29 pm

    Vous fou, frère?
    Apprendre à composer avec le côté obscur d'une autre culture, comme la plupart des gens: de savourer un morceau d'eau de Javel cerveau! Appliquer directement sur le oesophage!

  17. VyseRogueKing on March 7th, 2013 3:50 pm

    Foux du fafa! Et maintenant le voyage, a la supermarche. Ou est le bibliotheque?

  18. Solar Boy Django on March 7th, 2013 4:08 pm

    [youtube 82DjpPX60xU rel="nofollow"> youtube]
    Posting sex videos now Shawn? Well this'll fit right in!

  19. VyseRogueKing on March 7th, 2013 4:09 pm

    I've always hated that copypasta simply because of all the logical and statistical inconsistencies that it drives my need for accuracy straight through the roof.

  20. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 4:20 pm

    That's why I love it so much. It makes no damn sense.

    See I'm the kind of person that enjoys pointing out logical fallacies in fiction just because it ruins it for my friends.
    I'm the kind of person that enjoys "Manos Hands of Fate" unriffed. I hear that takes a special kind of insanity.

  21. Yoshi_Dino on March 7th, 2013 4:22 pm
  22. Yoshi_Dino on March 7th, 2013 4:34 pm
  23. Caelun_Niveus on March 7th, 2013 5:17 pm

    You know you could have prevented this, Shawn.

  24. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 5:25 pm

    You just ruined my childhood harder than anybody else on the internet ever has.

  25. Luken Delzeal on March 7th, 2013 5:32 pm

    SHHH! Don't taunt her!

  26. Solar Boy Django on March 7th, 2013 5:46 pm

    I'd like to think improved it. For some of them, admittedly some of them were kinda… sketchy because of the age thing.

  27. TheAceOfSkulls on March 7th, 2013 6:08 pm
  28. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 6:09 pm

    I command you to tell me what anime this is peon.

  29. Soul Eater 676 on March 7th, 2013 6:09 pm

    I would like to make a joke, but he last time I'd post into something that had a foreign language, I got downvoted to hell.

    I'll just leave it for here for now.

  30. TheAceOfSkulls on March 7th, 2013 6:13 pm

    First off: Peon? I am the logo/head/director (I honestly have never understood the technicalities of this) of a… perfectly legitimate pharmaceutical company!

    Secondly: Angel Beats. Do not watch it all in a single sitting or it will destroy you. It is the prime example of "emotional rollercoaster" as it will bring you to tears laughing… only to then bring you to tears the normal way.

  31. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 6:54 pm

    Can it cause the confusing event of popping a boner in sorrow? If it can then I'm in.

  32. TheAceOfSkulls on March 7th, 2013 7:16 pm

    …Nnnnyes?

  33. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 7th, 2013 8:12 pm

    What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilge rat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re shark bait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.

  34. BraveSirJimOfLawl on March 7th, 2013 8:14 pm

    Umm… Uh…
    Beret!
    Retreat!
    Really long bread!

  35. Porecomesis on March 7th, 2013 8:29 pm

    I feel… really dirty now…

  36. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 7th, 2013 8:46 pm

    I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

  37. ibbolia on March 7th, 2013 10:16 pm

    Is there just a bunch of these sitting on the internet?

  38. ibbolia on March 7th, 2013 10:20 pm

    我不说话法语。

  39. ibbolia on March 7th, 2013 10:21 pm

    Just…just don't look him in the eyes…

  40. Ryu Bonkosi on March 7th, 2013 10:52 pm

    Captions work on this video. Really helps.

  41. TheAceOfSkulls on March 7th, 2013 10:58 pm

    And why was I not informed of them?

  42. Alpar on March 7th, 2013 11:11 pm

    [youtube hZQ7ICzlng4 rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  43. Alpar on March 7th, 2013 11:11 pm

    No
    why

    why did you remind me this stupid video ever existed.

  44. Alpar on March 7th, 2013 11:12 pm

    Why are we rebelling for Wolf to come back again?

    We haven't had Wolf Wednesdays in like over two years now.

  45. Alpar on March 7th, 2013 11:12 pm

    Hey, Stalin takes after the original first-poster. Don't discourage his bravery!

  46. Solar Boy Django on March 7th, 2013 11:13 pm

    Because Alpar. Theirs always worse things to be reminded of. Always.

  47. Alpar on March 7th, 2013 11:13 pm

    I'll taunt her all I want!

    You're not my mother!

    Why am I here?!

    Who are we even talking about?

    And what is this weird feeling in my pants at the thought of this topic?
    …oh it's just that ice cream I left sitting in my pants for a week.
    Yes
    ice cream…

  48. Skrist on March 8th, 2013 1:41 am

    You know what else we haven't had for a while? It starts with an F and has to do with Captain Falcon.
    That's right! It's Falcon Fridays.

  49. Skrist on March 8th, 2013 1:43 am

    . . .Go on.

  50. Prof. Luigi on March 8th, 2013 2:28 am

    What about Movie Mondays? Everyone loves movie Mondays.
    *looks over to random dove*
    "No ze don't."

  51. Nick Soapdish on March 8th, 2013 2:52 am
  52. Dr. Enforcicle on March 8th, 2013 5:35 am

    What happened to Halolz without Wolf here to protect it?

    You spamming about Wolf Wednesdays on every post.

    I asked him once about Wolf Wednesdays and all he told me was this:

    CAN'T LET YOU POST ME
    STAR HALOLZ

    And then he hung up .__.

  53. Dr. Enforcicle on March 8th, 2013 5:36 am
  54. Dracojounin7 on March 8th, 2013 8:57 am

    What tha fuck did you just fuckin say bout me, you lil biiiatch, biatch? I be bout ta have you know I graduated top of mah class up in tha Navy Seals, n' I've been involved up in a shitload of secret raidz on Al-Quaeda, n' I have over 300 confirmed kills. I be trained up in gorilla warfare n' I be tha top sniper up in tha entire US armed forces. Yo ass is not a god damn thang ta me but just another target. I will wipe you tha fuck up wit precision tha likez of which has never been peeped before on dis Earth, mark mah fuckin lyrics. Yo ass be thinkin you can git away wit sayin dat shizzle ta me over tha Internizzle, biatch? Think again, fucker fo' realz. As we drop a rhyme I be contactin mah secret network of spies across tha USA n' yo' IP is bein traced right now so you mo' betta prepare fo' tha storm, maggot. Da storm dat wipes up tha pathetic lil thang you call yo' life. You're fuckin dead, kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I can be anywhere, anytime, n' I can bust a cap up in you up in over seven hundred ways, n' thatz just wit mah bare hands. Not only be I extensively trained up in unarmed combat yo, but I have access ta tha entire arsenal of tha United Hoodz Marine Corps n' I will bust it ta its full extent ta wipe yo' miserable ass off tha grill of tha continent, you lil shit. If only you could have known what tha fuck unholy retribution yo' lil "def" comment was bout ta brang down upon you, maybe you would have held yo' fuckin tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, n' now yo ass is payin tha price, you goddamn idiot. I will shizzle fury all over you n' yo big-ass booty is ghon drown up in dat shit. You're fuckin dead, kiddo.

    -courtesy of Gizoogle Textilizer

  55. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on March 8th, 2013 10:12 am

    yeah. If you look up Navy Seal Copypasta you should be able to find most of them.

  56. dope92 on March 8th, 2013 10:53 am

    nice to know that's still a thing.

  57. Alpar on March 8th, 2013 12:15 pm

    …well no wonder he hasn't been on in forever…

  58. Comire on March 8th, 2013 2:17 pm

    Wait, I'm confused. Am I the only one who found that hilarious, despite its language?

  59. Exylus on March 8th, 2013 2:53 pm

    BAGUETTE

  60. SpaghettiWeegee on March 8th, 2013 5:22 pm

    Aw, man, they left it out. I was looking forward to see what sex in Mass Effect would look like. =/ … waiiiiiit a second!

  61. SpaghettiWeegee on March 8th, 2013 8:07 pm

    O-nay! Ot-nay Apanese-jay!

  62. ibbolia on March 8th, 2013 9:35 pm

    Chinese, actually. But they do look similar.

  63. Restam111 on March 8th, 2013 10:47 pm

    (insert typical abandon thread gif here)

  64. Restam111 on March 8th, 2013 10:50 pm

    (insert google translate here)

  65. cy85 on March 8th, 2013 11:22 pm

    ……..Bon.

  66. straYDoubter on March 9th, 2013 2:08 am

    Or perhaps, it's funnier, because of it?

  67. arcnes on March 9th, 2013 8:22 am

    I approve.

  68. Alpar on March 9th, 2013 12:21 pm

    It's strawberry ice cream

    I hate strawberry ice cream.

  69. EonofAeon on March 16th, 2013 11:44 pm

    Am I the only vet who misses Zoe…?

  70. EonofAeon on March 16th, 2013 11:44 pm

    Well, considering one of Japanese's 3 sets of character's are just redefined Chinese characters, some symbols are the exact same in looks :P

  71. EonofAeon on March 16th, 2013 11:45 pm

    What's your display pic from? O.o

  72. EonofAeon on March 16th, 2013 11:48 pm

    Really? Seriously? No one noticed the community reference? "Coo. Cool, cool, cool." is Abed's signature phrase!

    COME ON PEOPLE!

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