That is one bitter and worn-down ten year old.
By MichaelMayne
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 1, 2012 · 2:09 AM
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Categories: Anime, Artistic, Chillaxin', Depressing, Nintendo, Off Duty, Pokémon, TV Shows · Leave a comment (91 Comments) |
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91 Responses to “2 B A Master”
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.82 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Girth, it kills dreams.
Hey, look! It's me and my cat!
….What? I'm from the South, it's common, shut up!
Sucks to be you, buddy. Y'know why?
Because…
<img src="http://i.qkme.me/5tcu.jpg" img>
OH GOD IS THAT ME IN 1 YEAR?!
Looks like ash had one too many SODA POPS.
14 years earlier…
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/uOPqE.gif?2">
That is one ugly ass cat.
All his "pokemon training" paid off.
Man, is Gary_Oak still around? I'd like to hear from him about this.
Meanwhile…
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj5hggHng81qd5tiuo1_500.gif">
You really REALLY need to catch up with the time Shawn…
And 40 years later…
<img src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6123/5996793648_9f9fa86c8d.jpg" width="390" height="450">
Mandatory Gary Fucking Oak:
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6thcw2WP41rsaznz.jpg" width ="444">
Yep
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m692z8pjSC1r2lu0yo1_500.jpg" width="444">
Wow he really let himself go……………………………no not Ash, I mean Pikachu.
How is that even possible? Wasn't Ash cursed to be forever 10 years old? Unless he just got fat in those 40 years
Poor Ash, looks like he
Burnt out
Totally needs a Bastion narration.
'Kid wanted to be a Pokemon master, like no one ever was. Too bad the kid just couldn't ignore Gary Oak's girth."
Quick Pikachu, use Empathy!
Pikachu does not know empathy.
Frik! now Rucks is singing the whole song in my head.
Wait, why am I angry?
DARN FAT MAN GET OFF MY PROFESSOR OAK'S LAWN.
Ash never could have been the best. Gary always existed.
you comment was broken. Allow me to fix it.
Poor ash, looks like he…*sunglasses*
Burnt Out
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
14 years later, and Pikachu STILL hasn't envoled!!!
14 years later, Ash would still be 10.
Wait… is one of those… a Companion Cube badge?
O_O I……..don't remember that episode
So, he forgot to bring a BURN HEAL, then?
If you were destined to be a voice changing 10 year old with no common sense for all eternity I'm sure you would stop caring too.
[youtube qMxH7JLVdhc rel="nofollow"> youtube]
Elsewhere…
<img src="http://my.newhighscore.com/src/teamRocket.gif">
14 years later, He's still 10.
QUALITY WRITING!
From the French word "envoler": to dissapear, run away, or be stolen.
Damn, team rocket still couldn't get that damn pickachu after 14 years?
Or maybe they suddenly got hit by a burst of common sense and gave up?
So…Ash wins, then?
I mean, dancing wtih sexy ladies in swimsuits seems a lot better than having soccer moms throw confetti at you.
Notice how there's no Soul, Marsh, Volcano, Earth, or Thunder Badge. Gary couldn't even beat most of the gyms that Ash did!
Same bat-time, different bat-place…
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8cd7aVFiC1rb4jspo1_500.gif">
(Brock is in two different places at once, what can you do?)
Obviously, you've never had a cat.
<img src="http://www.dula.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/missing-cat.png">
Just be lucky he hasn't drank that many LEMONADES. That would get ugly…
Pfft. Nobody wants Ash's sloppy seconds.
Gary has always been there.
Now we need Gary English.
So? Yukari Yakumo has been 17 for several thousand years. She doesn't just *look* 17, she used her power over all boundaries and borders to shatter the far border of her 17th birthday.
And yet somehow, he has Misty's badge.
Welcome to Halolz, your number one source for outdated video game related lolz.
Words cannot express how accurate this statement is…
If memory serves, the sensational sisters just give it away.
she could not resist him…
Dissapear: to counter the act of sapearing an object or individual.
Down't bee a snobb if yu cannt fix yur mistaxe
"Disappear" written as dissapear is an understandable typo. Especially when the person making the mistake has otherwise impeccable spelling and grammar and rarely invokes the "grammar hammer" at people.
That's more than I can say for *some* people.
Oh God, that went over far worse than I thought it would. I thought it was kind of obvious I was messing up the spelling on purpose to add a layer to the joke…I usually type the best I can, and fix my mistakes as long as I can find them…I apologize for my unintentional idiocy and asshole-ish…ness.
To be honest, I was still kind of debating whether to bother with that "joke" while I was making it, and just decided to see how it went over…not well, apparently.
At least it wasn't as badly received as it could have been. a few -1's won't hurt your e-peen noticeably.
I'd probably be in the 100+ club right now if it weren't for some badly received sarcastic remarks I made earlier this year.
And as far as asshole remarks go, yours was tepid at best. I -1'd you because it felt like you were just defending the guy just to be a dick, even though that is now clearly not the case.
I don't see any reason for anyone else to have -1'd you because the only person who should have had a problem with it was me, and now that I see what that was I feel bad about being a dick about it.
Out of all of the characters in the pokemon universe and all official variants thereof, Ash is the biggest loser out of all of them.
He's only caught like what, 10 pokemon? Everyone else has gone on to do meaningful things, and the only other person close to his level of failure was a gym leader at one point.
Gary's existence is pretty meaningless in this debate because Ash was already at the bottom of the totem pole and stayed there for god knows how many seasons, what does it matter if person at the top is the last word in badass?
Eh, you don't have to feel bad about it if you genuinely thought I was trying to be annoying, and I guess I was overreacting when I said I was being an asshole and that this went over terribly when only one person who I didn't expect to -1'd me.
Man, it's getting 'feels' in here.
I suddenly feel the need to kick something helpless and adorable to reaffirm my nature as a part time villain.
Nah, he caught more like 20 Pokemon. But the latter 10 were all Tauros.
well duh he's a time lord he just regenerated as an old man <_<
Charizard, use Mercy!
Charizard does not know mercy.
Gonna be gone for a while
Stay gold, Halolz
To help the confused, he means silver
Did you mean?
*sunglasses*
Heart Gold.
YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
…See you soon Alpar.
Heh heh heh…they just "give it away".
sssshhhh…. Before Zoe gets here
…Alpar is leaving?
ANARCHY!
SET EVERYTHING ON FIRE!!!!!
wait, if when he was 10 he was talking about his "girth" what does that mean it is 14 years later…
We must dawn the masks of Alpar and make Alpar sacrifices to the Alpar God of Alparness, quickly before our Alpar levels are critically low!!!
I considered linking a MrBean/IfYouKnowWhatIMean image instead but I didn't want to insult anyone by making the joke too obvious.
Isn't this a little bit late for that…?
This hasn't been a flame war for… 4…? yes… 4 Iterations.
You TL;DR'd, dude.
Not that I can blame you… I wouldn't read a string of what looked like a flame duel either.
So… we're going to make Tantric consecrations of loli elbows?
That's fucked up… man…
There are more terrible things in this world.
Well, it looks like we need to elect a temporary Alpar. I vote Vabolo.
I can name several off the top of my head.
Black Widow carpet *shudder*
yeah… I TL;DR'd HARD there whoopsy-doodles
How would one go about requesting Halolz motto/ tagline being changed to that?
Well I picked a weird time to return then…
I mean it's not like I planned to return while one of the senior members left as if I were some sort of dark force planning to plunge the world into darkness the second I see a hint of weakness.
…That's Jack's job. I just profit by supplying the cannon fodd… the personnel required for just such an undertaking.
Could you imagine an entire game with a Bastion narrator?
"Kid was just mindin' his own business when this nasty old man stepped in front of him. Guy says he just want to help the kid out, show him how to catch a pokemon. Kid just sits there, trying as best as he can to get this over with quickly, only pretending to listen to the lecture. Kid figures he knows the drill already and just wants to get out there."
"Soon as the dust clears, the kid hears a familiar voice callin out to him. When he turns around, he spots old Professor Oak, panting and out of breath. The Prof said he came as fast as he could, wanted to congratulate him on his victory."
"So as the kid's surfing on the coast, something strange pops out. Looks like an L that's been put through some unimaginable trial. The kid's Pokedex is going crazy, spouting gibberish at him. Kid has a feeling he shouldn't mess with this sucker."
Perhaps this would work better if it were a game about how Red ended up on that mountain though…
I'm pretty certain the forums, as they're apparently this wonderland where anything is possible and magic ice-cream is dispersed at regular intervals judging from how much people post for them.
I continue to see new images of Ash all over the place, but most of Gary's pictures seem to be taken back from the early years. Hell, most of them are the same picture. One almost has to wonder if in fact Gary is still around or if he's mysteriously disappeared as part of The Plot*
*Referring to my idea that the reason Ash hasn't aged is that Pikachu kidnaps and then manipulates the neuroelectricity within the nervous system to create a new Ash to go on a new quest with new sidekicks (hence why older sidekicks end up leaving forever).
Its OK, I got this.
Blurry icon, different name, slightly different e-peen…
Oh clearly Alpar and no one else who is just impersonating him in his absence, what happened to you? Did you get hit or something? Also, why do you smell suspiciously of cigarettes made decades ago and carry around a butterfly knife?
I've been gone for a long time and you take up some weird habits? What else is new around here?
Zoe and Jimmy are married now. I was the Man of Honor.
Due to a small memory lapse, I had to go through their posts to remind myself who they were.
…
…
…I'm just going to go back to my usual routine of illicit business practices, inhumane experiments, bouts of socio- and psychopathy, and plotting with a secret cabal who utilize science and business for dark and mysterious purposes.
You know, the less messy and disturbing stuff.
…I should really see where King got off to after he escaped the bunker…
Silly DT, that's not a cat! That's a…
Oh, that's… supposed to be in… and behind a 10 inch steel plate…
Ahem, I mean, that's definitely a cat or some other type of common animal that is in no way something that has wiped out three of my research teams.
I'd hazard a guess that he has been indulging in a RARE CANDY or two. That saturated fat and calorie count catches up with you.
The magic ice cream was the greatest part about them…
Somehow, it's like you were meant to say that. It's like you got that icon just to post that very reply.
Anyways, you wouldn't imagine how often I've heard that about the ice cream. When I joined, I was more entranced by the strange spiraling mass towards the back of it, but whenever I ask about that people kept changing the subject.
In fact they still do whenever I try to bring that up. It's almost like there was some strange secret you all were hiding in there and have been trying to recover before anyone else stumbles across it.
But that's just silly. I'm pretty certain that's where the ice cream came from, right?
Hold on a sec, I'll fix that memory lapse of yours…where's my
grammar hammermemory stick?*mutters* "One good whack ought to do it…"
*WHACK!!!* *THUMP*
The reception was fantastic Alpar!!! I remember you being there!!! Saying lots of stuff…I felt higher than a kite…Although, I don't remember whose wedding it was…
I think I may have had too much to drink…my wrists were really sore this morning…and I woke up in a white room…in a soft bed…next to a bottle of…s-o-d-i-u-m o-x-y-b-a-t-e and…Z-OH GAWD WHAT HAPPENED?!?
…Really? Nobody else is going to say anything about it? You're all gonna make me do it? Okay, fine…So, why are you leaving, Alpar?
he's making halolz time. the only time where its slower than valve time
This needs to be Halolz meme now.
It's going to be a sad and dark time…
you know, like last time?
The Dark Ages?