I had no idea QWOP has been around since my childhood!
By Saint Sputnik
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on June 1, 2012 · 3:44 AM
  (209 votes, average: 4.74 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Animated, Game & Watch, Nintendo, Retro, Sports, Systems, Uncategorized · Leave a comment (189 Comments) |
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189 Responses to “GAME & WATCH: QWOP”
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5) (4.81 out of 5)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Even the total distance you're able to travel is accurate!
Wow. No wonder QWOP is Nintendo Hard.
Where's the spazzing out on the ground on your knees to make it across? 'Cause that is how you QWOP.
wonder what the victory screen would be like
In my day QWOP was an adventure game, the commands of that game!
Hey guys,
What do you get when you mix adult-oriented brony fan fiction with a frustrating flash game?
A QWOP-fic.
<img src="http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/pinkie_pie_rimshot_by_perinigricon-d4mbib9.gif" alt="THANK GOD I THOUGHT HE MEANT PENIS.">
Game B: You die in QWOP & Watch you die in real life.
Not even the bedrock in Minecraft is as hard as such Nintendo games.
Wide Screen? What the heck is this? Bloody kids with their new-fangled technology
Eh he he…. eh he…. mental images….. owie….. need a hug…..
Thankfully the programmers knew of the games flaws and breathed a collective sigh of relief at not having the program the machine to recreate "Chariots of Fire"
Ah man, I love this game so much. I win every time… To win you have to die right?
<img src="http://www.ohmagif.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/drunk-santa-fail.gif">
About sums up the distance you can go in QWOP
<img src=http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/222/772/Humm….jpg>
<img src="http://narwhaler.com/img/jh/g/success-impossibru-JHGgV7.jpg" width="400" height="300">
<img src="http://chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-reaction-to-the-word-ponies.png" length="400" width="400">
On a separate, unrelated note, I'M GOING TO COLOSSALCON!!! WHOOT!!! My firt ever convention!!! I'm so pumped!!! I'll have my 3DS on me promoting <a href="http://www.HALOLZ.com” target=”_blank”>www.HALOLZ.com so yeah!!!
I was thinking of going as QWOP, but maybe I'll go as Ginji Amano from the GetBackers.
There's no sprite for the hurtle because they know no one will ever reach it.
Clever Nintendo, they really know how to save on in game resources.
Just imagine what QWOP would be like as an Arcade Coin-Op.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/Uksgi.gif">
Whop your wad on the counter!
doshdoshdosh~
*throws bottle at the wall*
WHAT VICTORY SCREEN?!?
I do say, some inconsiderate person has thumbs downed all of these responses, here are some thumbs up and a gif of a cymbal banging monkey.
<img src="http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs6/3651066_o.gif">
ALERT! we have reports of -1s ya? report with +1s imeediately!
<img src="http://www.deviantart.com/download/168941908/shall_we_play_a_game__by_newSaint.jpg" width="450">
Oh come on, you can do better than that!
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/wqjB5.gif"</img>
How about a nice game of chess?
<img src="http://www.silent-strike.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/wargames.jpg" width 450>
Global Thermonucular War!? That game got the highest ratings on Nintendo Power!!
PLAY THAT THING!!!
…can we see some Boat O Cross on that now?
China probably just created a "Pop Station" of this
Because… rel="nofollow">Trust me
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/nYsp6.png" width=400>
Bitches please. I've played the 3D QWOP beta, and I'm already a master at it.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/9FJte.gif">
You think THIS is hard? try game B where you have to hurdle over the bodies of other qwop players.
Nah, I probably deserved it.
<img src="http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/7464/875194-nes_game_genie_super.jpg" alt="some_text"/>
Let's dance.
I've only beaten QWOP once. And when you do, you feel like the biggest badass ever.
That picture perfectly describes bronies on the Internet. I should know. That's basically my reaction.
DON'T QWOP ME NOOOOOW!
'Cuz I'm trying to concentrate, fucking trying to CONCENTRATE!
I'M A FALLING STAR, SMACKING MY FACE INTO THE DIRT TRACK!
THIS CHARACTER'S JOINTS DEFY ALL LOGIC!
I'M LIKE A RACING CAR!
IF THAT CAAAAR HAD A FLAT TIRE!
Here I Go, GO GO!
FUCK, I HIT THE WRONG KEEEEY!
I JUST HIT TWENTY-FIIIIVE FEET!
TWENTY FIVE FEET, BUT THEN I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE!
SO THEN I GOT DISTRACTED AND I-
I FUCKING HAT THE STUPID QWOP MAN! FUCK THIS SHIT!
DON'T QWOP ME NOOOOOW!
The one nobody has been able to see yet.
…If I get a lot of thumbs up/down on this, I won't know why. Posting anyway.
Now for something that's been bugging me, how do you turn some text into a link to an image/video? I.e. clicking on "Posting anyway." sends the "Deal with it" image.
Theaterwide Biotoxic And Chemical Warfare sounds fun!
Since I have no Idea whats going on, I'll stay out of it.
Again:
<img src=http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxwi39v2081r5d23ko1_500.gif>
But your Paulrus *Star- I mean Keaton.
I dunno why people say QWOP is hard…. I just go OW PQ OW PQ OW PQ OW PQ DAMNIT I FELL AGAIN
It is just HTML. {a href="URL"}Words{/a} (Just replace the {} with <>)
For Images: {img src="URL"}{/img}
<img src="http://media2011.buhfly.com/gifs/deal%20with%20it%203.gif">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/rvtfv.gif">
I am NOT buying this game.
Pff! A true gentleman don't need to run to master the art of QWOP.
<img src="http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m146/thehappygoldfish/Avatars/cleesewalk.gif">
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/OlFYR.gif">
Are you Chris Bores?
<img src="http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrluuhFuME1qacgfco2_r1_500.gif" />
rel="nofollow">A half-finished video by the lovely crazyhalo
Alternate submission name:
Game & QWOP.
Tis true. who else beat the game by sliding on their crotch to the finish line?
Alice_M has been banned from the… um. the chemical store?
AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY GET THE BRAIN BLEACH!
I don't mean to side track anyone from the Halolz attention, but I just started a shit storm.
http://souleater676.deviantart.com/gallery/374669…
Gotta keep low now, Bronies want my head.
zigma, what the hell is that gif from?
Bronies aren't the only ones wanting your head.
<img src="http://www.counter-strike.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/eyelander.jpg" width="500" height="281">
I approve.
"What incredible artistic wit, such subtle themes and a delivery and tone to boot"
Also, how exactly have you started a shitstorm when there's barely any comments?
There are a Grand Total of THREE comments, and no sign of any ButtRage by them, just one dude and yourself.
Quite disappointed, both in hope for creativity and…. controversy
Remember those stories about protestors dragging arcade cabinets for Death Race out into parking lots and burning them?
That's what would happen.
Wut?
Nah, he's more likely James Rolfe.
You haven't seen the notes I have in my inbox.
<img src=http://www.theindianblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/email-overload.jpg>
<img src=http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AU1p_A7wzP0/0.jpg>
YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN WALK UP TO ME LIKE THAT. EACH AND EVERY BRONIE WILL BE SENT HOME TO CELSTIA IN A BOX!
Made of win I do say.
Dear Creator of QWOP:
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lc8b3hgIA51qcxvxao1_400.gif">
People burned arcade cabinets? Unforgivable! I don't care how controversial that game was nor do I care how long ago this happened. I cannot let the destruction of poor defenseless arcade cabinets go unpunished. I swear on my life I will talk really big about what I'll do in retaliation to the protesters, when in actuality I have no power to do anything about it and will soon go back to playing Breath of Fire II.
There you go. Least threatening rant ever.
For future reference.
<img src="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/153/e/5/twilight__pyro_view__by_souleater676-d520xs7.jpg" width="500/">
Contact my task mangers. they will surely help you out.
I still say he's definitely Scooby Doo.
Yes, I think I can walk up to you like that.
…For some reason I'm in a Deal With It mood today.
<img src="http://pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/132655719201.jpg" alt="some_text" width="265" height="283">
…..what.
It would be called the Chemical Weapons Depot.
With pictures like that? No pity. You were fucking asking for it.
Pretty much this. Show some creativity.
…Well I don't see a shitstorm.
…And those pictures are pretty terrible.
…And the others in your gallery are even worse.
And the one decent picture in your gallery wasn't even drawn by you, which I'm pretty sure is against dA's rules.
I'm gonna go ahead and ask for those two minutes of my life back.
If you don't wanna sidetrack anyone, why post here? That's what reddit is for.
I wish QWOP had a downhill mode. Then I could go farther.
oh yeah. you're banned from that thing.
I don't like their community.
Gmod. I'm pretty sure I'm the first to do this.
1. Heard of deletion and notes?
2. Gmod
3. So what?
4. I edited them, it says "Image edit" or something like that in the tags.
5. I've watched the show up to episode ten. I want those 5 hours of life back.
1. So why would you tell us to look at things that were deleted or that only you can see?
2. It's possible to make good things in Gmod.
3. Ditto.
4. According to deviantART's rules, "Modifying or editing a creative work without proper permission" is not allowed.
5. I feel it would be irresponsible of me to give you those five hours back. You'd probably just use them to make more terrible pictures in Gmod.
I beat qwop! the strategy is qqw qqw over and over. Took me 15 minutes but I did it!
Uh-huh. There's hundreds of other places to post to other than Halolz. Are all of them to your distaste?
Cause have you seen here? Not only have you "caused a shitstorm" with your mediocre Gmod creations, but you've also caused a minor disturbance here at the bottom of the comment thread. It's embarrassing.
You know you've been on the internet for a long time when these images don't even cause you to take pause, they don't to me.
Not to me, my point is getting across.
War is coming, and someone had to start the fire.
<img src=http://i382.photobucket.com/albums/oo269/Marlene_Angel_2805/soul3.jpg>
Now if you excuse me, I have some management to do.
back to five, if I had those 5 hours back, then this wouldn't have happened and the pictures wouldn't have been created.
All joking aside, I don't think anyone sees what point you were trying to make.
All I see is that you act like a petulant child who can't enjoy a show, so you go around insulting it at every turn. It's like you're right out of /v/.
That simple device would have made The Matrix 1000% better. Want to be the one? Blow on it a few times then plug yourself in through… wait, try pushing to the right? No, no, no, jiggle it. How about pull it back just slightly so…not it?
Fuck it, make Neo do it.
You do realize who this show is affecting right? Look at who run's Halolz and realize something.
This isn't just about my rant, it's about everyone else's rant as well. Who say's I'm joking, I'm running a business and I find that this show should not be affecting people who are twenty and love a show which was intended for little girls.
Just because you and several other people disagree with me, doesn't mean that everyone does. I posted this on this site specifically because it was planned. These pictures where intended to be put on somewhere. Someone had to take the fall and I decided too.
There will always be haters, and this fad has spawned a bunch of them. My father is a bronie and I find that distasteful. We quickly seem to forget when history repeats itself, just like the furry fandom.
Remember that all it takes, is the will of a single man.
Yeah, people will disagree with you. That's life. But when you have to moan and complain about that disagreement, and try to ruin other people's enjoyment of something you don't like, that's called being a baby.
All I hear out of you is hatred for bronies and furries. Yet you chose Halolz as a place to spout this garbage, a place with a large brony population and a small but prominent furry population.
I thought you were just an idiot or an inept troll at first, so I decided to joke around with you, but now I see you're simply a bad person. I can't even be angry, I'm just so shocked that people like you still exist. If you really do run a business, I pity anyone who has to work under or with you.
If, as you insist, these pictures have to go up somewhere, I have some places here that might interest you… here's a link to the Westboro Baptist Church's site, they're looking for people like you, and I hear they're great at hating other people… there's also the Neo-Nazis, who are a similar group that you can find here.
Now kindly get the fuck out of Halolz.
Ahahaha! Welcome to the internet. You should know better to ask for time refunds.
I mean honestly? I'm sure we've all wasted a lot more time on a lot worse things than watching cartoons for 5 hours. No need to develop a fiery disdain towards the show for something that petty.
<img src="http://t.qkme.me/36g9fv.jpg">
*qqw* *qqw* *qqw*
<img src="http://he2etic.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/homer2.jpg" /img>
I got -0.9 meters.
No not retard
<img src="http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9800000/crazy-soul-soul-eater-evans-9886935-1280-726.jpg"width=300>
Just a sane man on a mission.
If you were sane you would realize that there are people who have interests that do not coincide with yours and that you would be a thoughtful person not to go around bitching about something you don't like that does absolutely no harm to you.
Also, when you have to say you're on a mission to start trouble, you lose all rights to speak.
Yeah that was touching, and you prove points that have to be made.
But your not looking at the bigger picture.
<img src="http://gallery.mobile-phones.com.pk/Wallpapers/Artistic/thumbs/original/mobilephones_Soul_Eater_Evans_thumb_64.jpg"width=400>
You see history has a "manageability" to repeat itself. People will always hate. Always has, always will. If this has stirred you up to actually compose against me, thats your problem not mine.
Bad is only a certain point of view. It's the people who have the ability to be capability to look at both sides on the argument that end up winning.
I won't lie, before this I was on the sideline with the pony side of this argument. People who watch this have a right to see this. Then I see what it does to people in public.
I've changed sides to ensure a safe victory. No matter what you say, I will always counter it, from my experience and broad view of any means to a limit.
You may thumb me down all you want and you may keeping process this information all you can. But take note of this: What if I'm right, and your wrong.
Also this goes in both ways. If your right, I'll submit to the so called "error's" to my ways and be on my way. Leave Halolz to the bronies and furries. You can't stop what has been set to motion.
The people who work with me love my guidance and wide views. I get nominated to lead every game I play for my broad views and tactical skills.
Heed what I said today. Cause June 1, 2012 marked a day in history on the Anti's side. You may disagree, but remember that what you say can easily be countered.
I don't need to go to church, and you should clean your filthy mouth some time. Bad for business I say.
Oh and the term nazis means "National Socialist." You should get your definitions right.
Simpleton, you should heed whats below you.
Perfectly sane, in fact.
All is according to plan.
A bad person is a bad person. Being able to switch sides at the drop of a hat just makes you a traitorous bad person.
I don't intend to leave Halolz to the bronies and furries. They don't own Halolz, nor are they some kind of pariah that Halolz doesn't allow. I'm not gonna go around yelling at bronies, and I'm not gonna go around yelling at people who dislike the show. Because Halolz is a place where people who hate MLP and people who like it are getting along just fine despite the fact. I'll reserve my yelling for people like you who can't just coexist. And I directed you to the Neo-Nazi site because I figure if you can't tolerate a different fanbase, you probably can't tolerate other races either.
It's not my usual MO to argue with every idiot I see, but I'm doing this in hopes that it'll make you at least a little less of a deplorable piece of trash. And as an atheist, I'm also not one to direct people towards religious services, but perhaps a little church would do you good.
So you're failing at trolling AND reading? Got it. Now please go back to reddit.
I don't belong at a place like Reddit.
What you see as failing is actually success for me.
Pualrus? A simpleton? Perhaps we should welcome you a little more warmly. -Cracks knuckles.-
-Epic inhale.- WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!
Edit: …Due to some embed asdfghjkl glitch (tried to fix. Can't.) the above link doesn't work. Here it is in raw form: rel="nofollow"> <a href=" rel="nofollow">” target=”_blank”>www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Lu3CxSVRys
Ah but you see, I do go to church and yes, what you say in your eyes apparently makes me a "traitorous bad person."
No I'm not a Neo-Nazi, and I say this is that I'm a furry. You may seem that I may contradict that by the bash of the Furry fandom above. I say that I didn't say anything negative about the fandom not at all.
The certain hate for me right now is only the Bronies and the Neutrals. I don't dare bring the Neutrals into this, for it's bad for bossiness.
What you've said here today has been predicted, and precautions have been made for this sort of behavior. You tend to be more gentlemanly like me so I'll treat you as such.
However there are those who like Skrist below me that behave….. out of proportion. If only that you can hear my actual voice that it would sound calm, and like it was rehearsed.
Someone had to take the fall for this mission and those who support my ideas are very much the shame. The fire is building and there is nothing any of you can stop it.
I'm afraid that time for our little……. discussion has a means to an end right now. I will say to you though, the smart ones are the ones who didn't get involved right now.
They know what's coming. The question is, do you know?
……………. You should be careful what you say around an Internet man.
Yes, I'm an internet man for a lot of reasons. What you just said proves how simple minded that you guys can be.
Gentlemen, this is getting out of hand. It's obvious Souleater wanted a shitstorm one way or another, and here we gave it to him. To prevent further damage to our sanity and souls, I hereby declare this particular comment thread closed, until Shawn can make one of his rare but powerful appearances, and shut it down for us.
…And, possibly, dispose of one certain brony hater.
No, I don't know, and I don't care. I've wasted enough time.
Hmmm you may be right, they're obviously too smart for you.
Okay I'm just gonna make a freeeesh reply thread here. Right here. Because I don't want the comments to be squooshed among the walls of the comments section…
Hmm, let's see, Mr. Souleater676, original name, original deviantArt, 17, 6'3 feet, and 180ish pounds… yikes, hope that's not all fat that's building up there. Lest you wanna do the world a favor and die faster then maybe you actually DO have some sense in your head.
Before you start out a reply I just want to make it clear that despite the fact that YOU are arguing that reality and understanding are ambiguous to begin with, I don't want to hear that I'm being unprofessional or rude. You were more or less DEFENDING that out of me actually, no matter what you say it's all written in the fine print you left in these past few hours.
Now look I know I know, I'm understanding, that's how you master reality and understanding, despite them being ambiguous; it's a matter of shifting perception.
Yes I get it, you're seventeen, you have some terrible terrible teen complex. You wasted your five hours in life watching a television show I don't like either, so then you got butthurt that you wasted your time, some bronies replied, you thought you revolutionized the flamewar of internet histories everywhere, and feeling so proud of that you decided you were gonna post to who you assumed were your butt buddies: Protip -- The internet is not your personal shoulder to cry on nor is it your personal army.
So then all of a sudden because despite the fact YOU REALIZED WHAT YOU WERE DOING, everyone else decided to call you out on it, and what do you do? Act like a bleeding vagina on the most aching part of the period and try your best to put on a mask of dignity when really, you've probably changed your diaper for the nineteenth time this evening after what's been going on.
Look, I really don't care if you wasted five hours on a cartoon. Okay, guess what, I've watched about nine Friendship is Magic episodes, I didn't like them either. No no no I'm not done yet: To add to this list simply for the sake of tenure, and more importantly pissing on your pretentious self esteem, I'm also going to add that for the sake of masochism and principle, I sat through even MORE than the entire first season of Hetalia. I sat through the entire first season of K-ON, and hell, with that much "accomplished", I even sat through half of Endless Eight. It's the internet. You're wasting your time taking the WRONG APPROACH TO BEGIN WITH when you're trying to prove a point. What you're saying is to an extent a grain of truth but too bad it's in the middle of moronics 101.
And for the record: As you've seen, we are NOT RETARDED. We understand where you're coming from, but that clearly does NOT MEAN we have to agree with the way you are misusing the ideology to the cornerstones of YOUR liking.
All you've managed to accomplish today was just waste some time, oh look. And from an obvious third person point of view, you made us all waste our time on something less important than a cartoon. Yes, you did it. We chose to follow your temptation but you laid out the starting grounds.
Yes, you started it all. Don't give me that obvious look, you were CRYING for attention. All of what I listed on what you were doing is so true that I can practically feel you fearing the truth all the way across the screen. The density of the matter/truth at hand is so thick I could take a toothpick and slice the air with how easily strong you are making it. In fact, just to show you how much we care about what you've been spewing recently, allow me to quote a friend:
"You could be hanging over a cliff shouting about your ideals while crying for dear life, and we could walk over to you with a pocket brimming to the end with fucks but we would not give you one."
Yes, I do admit at some point we've established a rule for playing like gentlemen but if you don't wish to play like one, then so be it. This was my way of taking it, after all, how do you know I'm not the right one, right?
(Oh and by the way, for the record: You made. No. Breakthrough. You are currently in a teenage complex that requires help seeking and if you don't know the fact that at least TEN PERCENT of reality is fact rather than perception, then you haven't learned anything about understanding in the least.)
And as much as I resent proper manners with the way it was forcibly disciplined down my balls growing up in an Asian family, I regrettably have a shred, but only a SHRED, of kindness for you left.
You are welcome, free to stay. But remember that when you overstay your welcome, the ones that present the welcome are welcomed themselves to throw it completely upside down to crush you with its weight.
Now go away.
*walks up from the distance clapping slowly.*
Ah, the mighty Alpar has arisen from the ashes. I must indeed to that was a complex speech that you just gave there that made me quiet impressed. Surely you must feel proud now that you have gone through the trouble of writing this speech, only to satisfy my needs.
Here's a tip: Never get into an argument with me and expect to win.
That is all, anything from this point on is dead.
Right, because you've been soooooooo exemplary of that just up there, and just now.
You haven't proven a single point that stands on proper moral grounds. Hell, I can STILL feel you pissing yourself with that comment.
I don't care if you're in some need of help, allow me to tell you something:
This place is my home, as stupid and sappy as it sounds. The people here have been the wellbeing to my psychological growth and altogether happiness, they've made me who I am. Granted we've had our differences and whatnot, I still love them like a proper family. You messed with them, you are screwing around with me entirely.
Look, I can also get the idea that you are in some need of help right now, honestly. Not to claim that it may be true but you just MIGHT need help. For the record, despite the fact I'm strongly disliking you right now, I'd never stop to reconsider that no matter how bad the person is, I'm willing to assist them, also regardless no matter how bad we got off a start to.
I'm not going to bow down to you, nor hop off your dick; it's you that needs to hop off ours. I'm just willing to be someone that's young enough to know, old enough to realize, honest enough to ruthlessly state my viewpoint, but nice enough to acknowledge that those who deserve happiness should most definitely get it.
And for the record, since you said you go to church I'm going to assume you're Christian to a degree too. I'm not going to speak on behalf of God but with the vast understanding of Christianity I've gotten over these years (ironically thanks to this mostly atheist community as well), I'm just about certain he would say you failed this argument in a pathetic attempt to redeem your nonexistence.
You don't win an argument by claiming it, you moron. If you can win an argument you would know that much. I don't care if you get the last reply, the one that actually MAKES THE DOMINANT POINT(S) in the end is the real winner. Clearly you haven't substantiated any worthiness for that title at all.
Not seeking help?
Then leave. Nobody wants you here.
P.S.: The asterisks and images you leave with your arguments make you look like a complete failure/tool. That's something a middle schooler would stereotypically do. Learn to at least know how to run behavior/circumstances, you plebeian.
I'll take my departure for now. But realize that right now I'm the true winner of this argument. For you have all fallen into my trap. You know who I am now, and I'm a very force to be reckoned with. I understand that this is your home, and if I meddle with it, there's bound to be trouble. This was practically harmless until some people questioned my sanity. Thats where I draw the line.
*Picks his fedora.*
The world will be a boring and long unhappy life without someone to create chaos. What I've learned here today was that the creator of chaos, always has a plan to end up on top. You may not realize this, but without help with my followers, my points should be drastically low right now.
The dominant points don't mean anything. You can come in any argument and expect to win. For you rank is so high,, anyone will do what you practically say. People on the lower scale however, have to fight for that right till we get up there.
I'm pretty sure that Shawn has watched this tale unfold from the get-go. The victor has been decided. I'll take my leave for now. If things go to plan, Halolz and the internet's future will change.
(Don't comment on this for I will ignore it.)
Yes yes we all know the story, you don't like dealing with the truth. You've made that more than obvious we could make a new word for it. But I find it hard to even think anyone a force to be reckoned with if they're on a site that speaks English. And you can't even do as much as discern between "your" and "You're", nor can you even say "I'm a force to be reckoned with" correctly. You can't be a very force, they teach you that in elementary. And evidently, not only can you fail to write, but you fail at analyzing counter arguments and you assume since you're on such a philosophical highground (psst, you're not, we got to this ages ago, take note that even dead people are smarter than you at this point) you keep thinking "HURR WHY DON'T I GET ATTENTION ISN'T ME THE SMARTEREST?" Nobody is scared of you, probably even Shawn's daughter can beat some legitimate sense into that frail alignment of sticks you know as your body.
Okay, big whoop. I know how it works too.
Humanity is naturally terrible in nature with some intrinsic good. We destroy, we create, the cycle repeats, change goes about its merry way, I've studied this before graduating highschool, WITHOUT highschool help, and I think we're all familiar with how it works. We're not disagreeing, we just hate you.
Also, by the way, hierarchical logic is even more dead than liberal logic, or even Beethoven. We're living in 2012, check your calendar.
Oh, I'm sorry, probably struck a nerve there, you probably don't know what those are either.
See? I can be a total prick and use perception to my advantage too. We all can, get over it.
Help from your followers? Oh, I get it, you have butt buddies worldwide. So sorry they were too busy having makeout sessions over choosing to defend someone they probably don't care about. I've taken on one-on-numerous people arguments all the time. With me on the one person side. Clearly at this point you're just saying aesthetics are fancier than actual logic when it comes to debate.
I don't think you've even bothered to read a single thing on this entire page because all it seems you're doing anymore is getting your vision so shrouded in tears you're probably typing without even realizing what you're saying, hence that excuse for a gaggle of aborted fetuses you call an argument.
And if you're ignoring all of this then you just missed out on a chance to get help if you wanted any. Seriously, your nothingness is stenching the place up terribly, we know you want to exist but you just suck at it.
And if you really ARE going to ignore this comment, and everything going after it, then allow me:
I hope you like leaving your IP open because I've got one hell of an open summer schedule and a knife that's craving to bite some blood.
P.S.: What we see as your failure, you see as your winning. What you see as your winning, reality sees as your cockiness. What reality sees as your c- oh wait I forgot. You probably don't even go outside.
Learn to get past the eighth grade before talking with the adults here, you miserable excuse for a debater.
And of course only YOU would be retarded enough to take something that was OBVIOUSLY STATED IN A DENIGRATING CONTEXT IN A LITERAL MANNER.
DRIVE ME CLOSER, I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH ME DOSH
*stops dead cold*
Hehehehe…….
All according to plan.
*Walks out the door*
Next time Alpar, scare me.
You know I can actually try to debate though, but it's not worth my time. I have collected what I needed. You may not know it, but a fire just sparked in the realm of the Internet.
Wow, you never even met me and you judge me by saying something you don't even know? Congratulations you're contradicting yourself. Oh wait… too late for that.
You're debating about being on a mission to save the world from something that doesn't harm anyone physically. And considering how quickly you respond, I'm sure you have plenty of time…
<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DGGcdZ4KYbA/T5FeDLPuJJI/AAAAAAAACKo/2ofTef2oC0w/s1600/good-good-let-the-jimmies-rustle-through-you.png" height="400" width="350">
I enjoyed reading this.
GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Why are we arguing?! I thought we were gentlemen!
<img src="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/21397897.jpg">
oh my fucking god can I finish your anime fanfiction for you
SOON, ALL THE INTERNETS WERE ABLAZE AND IN CHAOS. BROTHER WAS PITTED AGAINST BROTHER. BABIES EATING BABIES.
SOULEATER676 LOOKED UPON THE TERROR HE HAD DEFINITELY WROUGHT, ON THESE PEOPLE WHO DEFINITELY CARED. "ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU!" HE CROWED, BECAUSE HE HAD NO GRASP OF CONVERSATIONAL ENGLISH. "MAYBE NOW MY FATHER WILL REALISE HIS ATROCIOUS SIN… OF WATCHING A CHILDREN'S MERCHANDISING SHOW."
But then his dad came into his room and saw him trying to make his gmod picture of spy murdering a cartoon horse. "Son I pay for your fucking education and living expenses, and you sit here spewing lines out of your animes at some teenagers on the internet. I'm taking your computer away from you and you're going into an apprenticeship."
Souleater767 was distraught and shattered to the core, but as the years went on, he found that the physical work and social interaction were actually fucking beneficial. Eventually he learnt to simulate an approximation of a regular human being, and as an old man he would look back on his younger days and laugh, and laugh.
Or he would be overwhelmed with shame.
The end.
Congratulations, it literally took you two hours to come up with that response along with your other response up there. Somehow we all knew you would just come back to say something.
You are hardly starting any fire. Just because we hate you in specific does not mean we are going to let our hate become personal habit. We've been through this before countless times already you know. And compared to the "flamewars" we've been through, the one you started is a dead miniscule one that'll only in the long run make YOU look like the only idiot, the one not looking at the bigger picture. If you are going to go through something at least reconsider it to make sure it'll work. If you're here to "collect data", you have problems. Big ones.
Go failtroll somewhere else, your mission is one an eleven year old would find acceptable. Uneducated opinions like yours are maybe something 9gag would find interesting.
P.S.: You look like a complete tool and a tryhard. Quit life.
A winner is Happy.
THE CHASMS OF BUTTHURT ALL ECHO THROUGH THE UNIVERSE!
I HAVE ARISEN, THE HALOLZ TROLL IS BACK BITCHE-
…who's this faggot who can't draw for shit?
Congratulations, you managed to start a fire in a volcano, you've made so much progress, your mother must be proud of you for the first time in never.
Joking of course, nobody could ever be proud of you mister tween <3
We are, but a seedy fucker has wormed his way into the community.
Just call me a vet, because i'm about to remove some worms.
Hahaha! This is Glorious! I've managed to wormed out the weak and the simple minded. No one has seen the true nature of my motives until now.
You see the plan was simple really, on June 1, around 11:00 A.M. Someone had to post something about Ponies being bad and needed someone to defile them. Then, all I had to do is lie in wait for something that I can snag onto and cause a hell that can't be stopped.
At first, I thought the plan might fail through the work of Spaz and Hughbert, but then game the oh so glorious Leo E, a person that I can gentlemanly talk to. I haven't actually tried to cause someone's up doing and the downfall of me won't happen, but I guarantee that this was the ultimate success in my career.
Once the conversation was in place, it was only a matter of time before the one of the Halolz gentlemen would come in and claim all of my faults. Thanks to the presence of Alpar in this conversation, the plan was complete. Next follow the bad puners and the jimmie rustlers.
You see my plan went smoothly. No errors, and no faults. You guys must have stayed up all night replying to his, while I comfortably slept in my bed.
Now onto the real business.
<img src="http://gallery.mobile-phones.com.pk/Wallpapers/Artistic/thumbs/original/mobilephones_Soul_Eater_Evans_thumb_64.jpg"width=500">
I had enough with these mind games and sort of tricks that I've had. Now I say it's the perfect time to activate why I'm such a good debater. All of you guys have only pointed out my faults and my wrong doings. I'm afraid that this will be used against you from here on in.
Leo E, you say that your trying to help me not become a bad person? Ha! don't make me laugh. Whatever you called helping is more like a 12 year old trying outsmart a 17 year old in his field of work and tactics. You dare questioned me as a Neo-Nazis and a traitor from each sides. Who are you to judge? By the way you've been speaking, I say that you really care for bad people, but at the same time you want them to be erased form history.
Spaz and Skrist. Spaz acutally posted something funny and I replied with something funny as well. If you haven't notice, the Demoman and Solider bit was my work and I've been getting points for it. Says that I'm actually won this part of the argument, Skrist question my sanity. Questioning people's sanity and trying to get away with it is something you should try avoid using on an opponent like me. No matter how much you mock and question about me, my plan goes through. I say that both of you have bad mouths and a bad sense of context within any sort of challenge. For you guys have failed to understand the only real reason this thing started.
Alpar. The one and only true Alpar. Everyone loves thee, or so you think. During Alpar Fails day, I didn't take apart of it. I more like rejected it. You use your long speeches, and your grammar correcting self to make yourself make more powerful. You may have high points, but even you have fallen for this trap. Pity, I wished it was someone else.
However, from what I've gathered here today is that Alpar doesn't like anyone else to steal his thunder. If someone likes to create a stir and succeeds into doing so, he will step in and claim him as a bad person. Then the rest of his followers will come in and also deem him as a bad person. You should not respect me. You should all fear me, for I'm one of the most hated people on the Internet according to your standards.
Every single one of you should get out more I say, I've been getting out plenty for the fact that I'm fit and healthy. I come in here as only a side thing when I'm bored and such. Oh, and I know Alpar's weakness. His weakness is the Halolz community itself. It's best that you don't display this weakness Alpar, for it will lead to future downfalls on yourself.
I don't think that Shawn actually remove this anytime soon, so I'm gonna stay awhile, enjoy the show. Chaos is what I do best. Anything you guys say after this will prove my point 100% so I suggest you should shut up, and leave the big boys do their work.
Let me guess, you just saw The Dark Knight and got a boner for The Joker.
17 is a confusing time, for sure.
<img src="http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/471/slowclap.png" height="223" width="300">
I'm sorry, I don't like batman.
"Oh no someone questioned my sanity. Better throw a fit about it and make them think it's all part of some master elaborate plan to change the internet. Then I'll tell them that was only a plan and that Skrist was right about me trolling all along. Surely this won't backfire! Just to be safe, I should say that I'm always right and they are always wrong and that I win every argument in the history of mankind. No one has said that on the internet before. If this goes well, I should look into becoming a politician."
<img src="http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1/steg1212/1265068642542.jpg">
Artist's representation.
First of all, I want to thank Alpar for making the mother of all arguments. It was glorious.
Second, I originally posted something funny in hopes of defusing the situation before it escalated to its current level, which obviously failed. At this point I'm giving up the act of being all flippant and joking about this. It's gotten far too serious for my liking, and especially for the Halolzian atmosphere. I'm a man of few words, so instead of making an Alpar-length argument (those were amazing, if I haven't said so already), I'll boil it down to a few fundamental concepts which you can hopefully wrap your overly thick head around.
One, as about 99% of the population has pointed out, your arguments suck. They have no footholds or even foundation to begin with, so they fall apart even before you start yapping away. You blatantly ignore all counter-arguments that are thrown; instead, you plow ahead, heedless of your previous arguments crumbling behind you while you forge a new "path" made of some flimsy material.
Two, I'm not a person to question peoples' sanity. Me, I doubt my own sanity. Sane or insane, you're still an utter idiot. You understand no argumentative principles and, again, plow ahead with your useless hot air that, by the way, is starting to stink up the community.
So, I repeat. Unless you wish to continue getting pummeled by the entire community here, take your horrid arguments and immensely thick skull out of HALOLZ.
ALL THAT SRS BNS ASIDE. -Looks at Souleater676.-
<img src="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/298/772/601.png">
Gryffindor? Please, this guy is purebred Hufflepuff.
"You use your long speeches, and your grammar correcting self to make yourself make more powerful. "
I don't debate for the sake of egotistical dick compensating like you. You're only making yourself look dumber by the second and the only reason you don't think so is because you're too wrapped in your pride to see beyond that. And for the last time; nobody is scared of you. There's a difference between simply despising someone and legitimately being afraid of them. Another ten points off of your own show.
We all made points, you're just calling us out on making ones that didn't matter when in honesty for the long run, they trampled yours (seriously, you like using the most outdated arguments.)
Secondly, okay, wonderful, I don't care if you didn't partake in Alpar Fail's Day, and I never said everyone loved me. I have willingly made enemies myself fully realizing that. This community never had to return my liking or respect, just recognize it as far as I cared, but that's what made it so special. And I honestly have no idea where you even drag the idea that I don't like someone "stealing my thunder". I don't NEED people to respect me, I can handle conflicts on my own. It's been done for me regarding friends, families, enemies, higher ups in societies, etc. I don't garner people's respect because (unlike you who literally just admitted up there) I don't need to be cuddled by buttsex club buddies. I RECEIVE respect because people have deemed me worthy of it themselves. I decide to return it, hence the mutual friendships we have. That's how relationships work. You don't call people out on the internet instantly assuming they have nothing better to do with their lives.
Hop off our dicks and quit projecting your inability to sustain relationships on us.
And I'm not going to care if someone has five more rep points than I do. While we're on the topic of the community, you utterly failed at splitting the difference between loving a community as a whole and making that community your entire life. Either way, it was still a justified reason to ram into your "points."
And if you're gonna pull some stupid philosophical points, then allow me to tell you: You can't "fall" for a "trap" you knew you were getting yourself into (hey idiot, note the quotations.) And just because one put up a poorly created trap and just because one "falls" for it doesn't mean you are the winner, you just made that terrible starting argument. Hell, we pointed out your faults, and you're saying we failed basically because you just did the same thing we did.
Then regarding your "point" to Skrist, I assume your plans always do go through only because a head as idiotically graded as yours can bother to even concoct such meaningless plans in the first place. You said you were here to collect data now you're saying you were here to go through a plan. I really just might have been more than right when I said I could feel you failtroll/arguing. Quickly cleaning up on Leo's spot, right there, you failed yet ANOTHER discernment. Holy hell you are terrible at this.
Third, yes I corrected your grammar, you are saying that like it is a bad thing. It shows tenure at how terrible you fail at everything. That's the truth of the matter whether you wanna accept it or not.
Really, you haven't read a single thing nor considered a single argument by us this entire time all because you "started" something (read: "Something" as "Absolutely nothing but some time wasting.")
Lastly, I'm not even gonna call you out on the whole "IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED" thing anymore. I don't know whether to believe you or not anymore, but despite it being more believable you did change your tones of speech last minute (because really, what person with an actual life goes around making THAT many terrible GMod pictures just to prove any miniscule amount of presence), I'm just gonna choose to not care about that. It's the fact that you wasted both your time and ours provocatively, in a really elementary fashion.
And by the way, just because you don't accept our points doesn't mean you don't win an argument. An argument, is like I said, won by actually making points. Something you could not dominantly do this entire time. That is what a debate was STRUCTURED TO BE AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS. It was not meant by any means to be a mutual/one-sided cater-to-your-perspective game. And like you say, whether we realize that or not, it still stands as the truth (and yours does not because there literally hasn't been a single person that has actually fallen for your trap.)
>says he'll ignore replies
>replies
Outstanding resolve there, random person I've never seen.
Don't insult me like that Leo, i'm a bad troll, but not this bad.
I feel there's only one response that fits this.
You are a worse troll than me, and I get my joy from literally failing to troll young man.
Go back to 9gag, you might get a rise out of someone there.
Also, it was my plan to make you post this wall of text, so you fell for my ruse, young lady.
Aw, don't I get a mention in your love letter? Surely I'm important to you as well? (*^3^)/~☆
……….
*Laughs*
YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT I'M TRYING TO DO THIS??? HA! Don't make me laugh Alpar. You blind fool, haven't you seen whats around you? You should realized by now your denieing the inventable. Yes, you might considered this a fail troll. Yes, you might think that I"m crazy. Yes, this is my final stand right here right now.
Brace your self right now.
Shut
The
Fuck
Up.
You've have entered the world of serious regret and sorrow my friend. No matter what kind of speeches you make from here on in, someone is gonna get destroyed at the end. I GURANTEE now that you dug yourself a big hole that is helpless to get out from.
You may say that no one has fallen for my trap but indeed they have. Everyone invovled in this has been utterly changed from here on in. The rage will never go because what I'm about say, will change everyones life.
Alpar, you should know now that I can cause a horrible muk in here and can countiue to plague here. The only thing thats keeping me here, is you. Your points are invavild for whats to come for the fact is, I've set a motion that can't be stopped. No more joking the kid gloves are off. Time to get serious.
I don't need help, and you should fear me entirely. Yes, my grammar is bad, and yes I don't have spellcheck but heres the thing: My points are nothing compare to the bigger picture thats about to come. If you probably kept your mouth shut, and just sat in the sidelines, you probably won't have me to deal with now won't ya?
Now here's the pity remarked. I've actually predicted what has happened here today. Everything went to plan.You might not know it, but you already despise and hate me already. This is a glorious day to be me right now, because everything I have done went smoothly.
Backlashing at me won't do you good. I know I ignore some key things in this whole entire "debate" which you speak off, but listen to this: My whole plan involved getting one of the gentlemen to backlash at me.
I'll make this short now so
sayonara, Alpar the fool.
http://lolbot.net/index.php?content=viewer&id…
You're the very first one on that list. "Winning by Losing." Just wanted to point that out.
Let's see….. DeviantArt, Roblox, Gaia, Fanfiction.net, xanga (What is that?). you get around the internet don't you?
Either way, you must be Mr. Joshua "Sn1p3r" Vochatzer, from Shawnee, Kansas. Works at Dave & Buster's. Went to Bonner Springs High. And you have a Battlefield cover photo, that's always nice. You like Captain America too (but not Batman? That's a shame. Might want to look into him).
Anyways, I have connections. Near Shawnee, actually. Very near Shawnee. And none of us want to look at your bullshit. So I'll ask nicely.
Stop being a gigantic cock. Or suffer the consequences.
OR
You can tell me your plan for Halolz and I can MAYBE tell the connection to hang up the whip.
It's up to you, really. Feel free to PM me over IntenseDebate. Or you can keep being a cunt. Either way, you've fucked up.
I highly doubt it, this came from my head only. Don't say mind powers unless you believe that your a total idiot.
Say inception and you'll walk down a dangerous path to demise.
Say anything else your clearly an idiot.
Get your facts straight pinky. I don't do love letters.
Triple post of Triple Butthurt.
Josh Vochatzer, you live in Kansas? Neat, so do I, Wichita Kansas precisely.
Oh no, I'm shaking in my boots.
I suppose it's too late to say nobody cares.
Don't worry, Jake… I still love you.
I seriously live in Wichita, and have a few friends who want to be vikings in Shawnee, they would burn your house down while wearing leather helms ._.
You don't do much at all.
Well, other than block people on DeviantArt, but not before commenting to get the last word in :V
I've got two Josh Vochatzers, one on Highway Avenue and one on Southwest Drive. Which one are you?
Ah. But my plan all along was for you to call Kiru an idiot and say that everything anyone does comes from your head. You fell into my spell.
Also: you're*
Please learn English before you tell anyone what to do. :D
You seem to love RPing, you sure you don't want to be in my kingdom hearts RP? We have a spot for Riku, I know tween love Riku <3
OI!
Why, exactly, was my presence not elaborated on in this piece of…. whatever the mind cannot comprehend?
Methinks I deserve some credit for taking the first shot.
Harumph
Alright, I won't say those two words, what all can I say?
Amsterdam
Lamp
Stencil
Cup
Orange
Low Gravity Propulsion Thrusters?
Grammar is the least thing I'm worried about in life.
I'm pretty sure its a big thing for you.
The first shot to set the fire.
Congrats.
Aaargh Goddamn, that background colour hue hurts my eyes like hell….
Mother of Mercy…
For the record, you're not doing a very good job of scaring me yourself either.
I'll make at least one thing clear to you. If there's anything about me that any other human being should know it's that I am irrepressible. I will do whatever however I please.
Secondly, with that trait comes the fact that I don't fear any human. You haven't shown me anything worth fearing, sorry to say. And even if you did the only thing you'd validate for me further is how much we all really hate you. And of all people I don't fear, you're definitely among the last.
Quit saying any of us should fear you. It's not because we're stupid or unknowing that we don't fear you, it's because we're already ABOVE all that.
Maybe we have underestimated you in a reality, but I can say for sure you've underestimated us in another reality to point out as well. Your idea here was to create order through chaos. I've stated before, you're doing nothing. We're all already above this.
Go create order elsewhere with chaos, we can make both just fine here without your help.
Like Hell do we know…
Soooo, Eyup, go-ahead and…. do your thang on him….
You have underestimated me indeed.
I won't comment anything for awhile now. I will see yall on the other side.
And no, I haven't underestimated you at all. I've faced scarier opponents before, one who actually make death threats.
Peace.
AWSHITDICKS
Accidental thumb down
Sorry mate
*From the ashes*
Is…is it over yet?
*Tumbleweed*
Somehow I feel as though I'm responsible for all this….
*Wind howling*
Ummm, I'm Sorry?
…
Guys?
…
Hello?
Awww you're leaving? We were all having so much fun…
{waits}
Ponies win :-P
You've not been reading these posts, then.
Funny thing, Alpar didn't force you to come back, I assume you came back because you have no friends to paintball, watch movies with, or anything like that.
WHY DO YOU TRY TO STAND BETWEEN JAKE AND I
WHAT HAS OUR LOVE EVER DONE TO YOUUUUUU
Yes it is. I like people who are trying to insult me to insult me in a way I can grammatically understand.
Also, if grammar is the thing to worry you least in life, you have a rude awakening waiting for you.
Another thing: it's*
thing I'm worried about least*
it's*
Honestly I couldn't care less about grammar, it's just fun to correct your sorry ass.
No, because he was planning on you not caring all along.
He's always thinking 71 steps ahead.
71 incredibly long and stupid steps.
The "Winning by Losing" technique summed up this Souleater guy so well, it was like he pulled the idea straight out of that website.
…
…Maybe he did…
Huh? Wuzzat? Did somebody say "pony"? rel="nofollow">
Harumph
The first shot that dissuaded your artistic merit and ability to cause controversy, to be precise
Harumph
So, what you're saying is he's a fighting game grand champion?
All we know is that if he loses an argument to Alpar, he tries to pretend he won, how about that…
Not really. Being able to think ahead means shit when you can't actually think.
Jimmies status:
[x] Rustled
[ ] Unrustled
Well, I don't think so. Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders, and this guy couldn't find a decent argument in the stream of crap he spewed.
Personally, I think he should be a Ravenclaw, since he made a 'plan' to troll everybody which seems to have worked.
BTW, sorry I didn't join in earlier.
Ravenclaws are the smart ones. This guy is anything but.
Wub.
-Removes his tumbleweed Spy mask.-
Not your fault.
-Puts the mask back on and rolls away.-
(Unrelated edit: Why is my E-Peen going down? It topped at 94, then started decreasing, even though I've gotten no low-score comments.)
I don't know, he definitely seems to have thought everything out.
Make a plan? Nowhere near it.
Attempt to troll? Probably unintentionally, so another fail.
Convince everyone else your trolling was all 'part of the plan'? Maybe not.
Satisfaction at having trolled everyone? Should be nonexistant, but knowing trolls, I'd guess he got this part perfect.
So, he should have the satisfaction, and it's always the end goal with these people.
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