Rude Pokémon Card Game Attacks

And to think the Pokemon Card Game is for kids of all ages! How inappropriate!
By Aziz B.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 13, 2012 · 11:02 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (230 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
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Adult Situations, Card Games on Motorcycles, Nintendo, Pokémon, Special Attacks

· Leave a comment (100 Comments)


100 Responses to “Rude Pokémon Attacks”

  1. Skrist on March 13th, 2012 11:05 pm

    Poliwrath doing 20 damage to itself is pretty inappropriate… Okay, you win this round Shawn.

  2. Soul Eater 676 on March 13th, 2012 11:07 pm
  3. Vabolo on March 13th, 2012 11:09 pm

    I like to think that all those attacks are on the same card.

    Ditto learned a few moves at the daycare!

  4. TheTopHatKid on March 13th, 2012 11:12 pm

    Wait, Bite On?


  5. spartann30 on March 13th, 2012 11:12 pm

    only thing better is card games on motorcycles.

  6. PortalMan118 on March 13th, 2012 11:19 pm

    Pokemon porn: Because your childhood hasn't been raped enough.

  7. LitmusRemnantal on March 13th, 2012 11:22 pm

    Speed Stroke makes me laugh.

  8. ibbolia on March 13th, 2012 11:25 pm

    Diglett dig.

  9. Ice_Cold_Water on March 13th, 2012 11:30 pm
  10. Chimental on March 13th, 2012 11:31 pm

    Like it wasn't easy enough with Hydro Pump, Leech Seed, Spit Up, Swallow, Bind, Harden, String Shot, Horn Drill, need I go on?

  11. MeatyMcSausage on March 13th, 2012 11:39 pm

    Lisa was trying to get Mark in the mood with a SPEED STROKE, but he realized his arousal was dying. She decided to spice things up with an UPWARD LICK, followed by a POWER BLOW. Mark was enjoying himself, but at the speed she was going, he couldn't help but fear she would BITE. She seemed to notice this and wanted to HARASS him, so as a DIRTY TRICK, decided to gently BITE ON. Mike couldn't help but THRASH. She was determined to finish the job and held him in place, and gave way to SUBMISSION. Before he could steady himself, Lisa had quite a mouthful to SWALLOW. Mike told her "SWALLOW UP" and moved to her backside. He gave her a TAIL SPANK and decided to JUMP ON. He began a BONE RUSH, and to get her in the mood, gave her behind another TAIL SLAP, and finally, one last QUICK BLOW. Before he could finish, she told him to FLIP OVER, and went to RAM him. He knew he wasn't going to last long from this HEAVY BONE, and tried to PULL OUT, but she only went to POUND harder. Next thing he knew, Mark released his HYPER PUMP. Lisa was in shock, so Mark decided his only option was to PUNCH AND RUN.

    THE END.

  12. Tore on March 13th, 2012 11:43 pm

    What about Grope? D: Can't forget that one. :D

  13. TheFancyPants on March 13th, 2012 11:51 pm

    I have deduced THROUGH SCIENCE! that the blue card (hehe, blue), having three attacks, and is therefor the dirtiest, belongs to Politoed!
    Children, keep your poliwhirls away from King's Rocks!

  14. Uzumakiclan43 on March 14th, 2012 12:13 am

    What, and no Sweet Kiss? If you're wondering how the last one's an innuendo, teach it to a male Pokemon and then make that male Pokemon use the move on another male Pokemon. Particulary a male Kakuna.

  15. panahinuva on March 14th, 2012 12:27 am

    What, grope's not on here? YEah. THat's a pokemon attack. It's on a Sentret.

  16. MasterLuigi452 on March 14th, 2012 1:10 am

    Corrupting our mind since childhood.

  17. Marzen on March 14th, 2012 1:14 am

    Yeah. Yeah I do about all of these.


    I'm not a Pokemon, I can know more than four moves dammit, shut up!

  18. BTSnoogans on March 14th, 2012 1:23 am

    Harass hasn't worked so well for me in the past…

  19. Paulrus-Keaton? on March 14th, 2012 1:58 am
  20. ChaoticButerfly on March 14th, 2012 4:20 am

    looks like someone needs a 'helping hand'

  21. MiniNinja on March 14th, 2012 1:41 pm

    Most basic move is "Tackle" and yet they still wonder where the eggs come from. At least some learnt to use "Protect" in Gen II.

  22. Ashton_Anchors on March 14th, 2012 3:24 pm

    At least they pulled out

  23. Pot_In_A_Jar on March 14th, 2012 8:54 pm


  24. Zoe on March 14th, 2012 10:10 pm

    I, for one, am morally outraged on how people constantly make sexual references in Pokemon, It just sickens me.

  25. Drageene on January 16th, 2013 12:30 pm

    Metapod used Harden!
    Metapod gets to do another move!
    Metapod used Stringshot!
    Metapod gets to do another move!
    Metapod used Pound!
    Metapod gets to do another move!
    Metapod used Pound!
    Metapod gets to do another move!
    Metapod used Pound!
    Metapod died of too much fun!

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