I love Portal 2, and I love The Nightmare Before Christmas, so basically I want to make out with this entire video!
By Harry101UK, submitted by several people
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 29, 2012 · 12:34 AM
  (355 votes, average: 4.74 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Movies, Musical, PC, Playstation, Portal, Robots, Science/Math, Valve Software, Video Clips, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (160 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
No, this is Patrick.
Meanwhile at Ohayocon…
<img src="http://i43.tinypic.com/1fhhyo.png" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
"Cave Johnson comment goes here" :>
I came to tell you not to rape the video Shawn, but after seeing it… may I join you?
Also, Valve should be paying this person more than their salaries.
I have made a picture about the forums.
But I won't embed it out of courtesy. It's… big.
Here.
That was glorious. Beautiful quality, good lyrics, and the voice-work was fantastic.
<img src="http://i1054.photobucket.com/albums/s486/Shadowskrist/STILLDOWN.gif">
Spongebob not working out for you?
Why not Zoidberg?
I don't have anything to respond to this scale of epic, so take my congratulatory +1 for compensation.
Oh, no need. I carry 20 of the things for any situation. From "everything is ponies" to "wumbology", so let me see… ah; Halloween Parody. This should do nicely.
"Hello, Cave Johnson here. Now I know at least one of you know about Halloween, and let me tell you something: cheap costumes are not the direction were headed here. Aperture Science has harnessed the power of Halloween to create a new version of Repulsion Gel, Repulsion-H gel to horrify your friends and make you cry home to your new Home Safety Turret we made you buy in order to get in this place. Didn't know? Read your contract.
This new gel is specifically designed that when you touch it, you hightail the other way like a cartoon character; and let me just say, I find it hilarious and worth every penny we took out of your paycheck. Remember, contract.
This has been Cave Johnson, we're done here."
apature: the place that made portal guns, neurotoxins, wheatly, turrets that kill you in 3 seconds, GLADOS, and most importantly, cell-phones and Gir.
And then Jack Skellington popped out.
all my +1's are belong to you
Yay.
Now let's see how long it takes until someone asks if Reimu and Mima are from an anime.
Gah, all this bitching about forums on a awesome submission makes me want to punch a kitten. Let's calm me down and save me from animal cruelty charges by playing a game.
Welcome to the Halolz Comment Section Dice game!
Here's how to play.
Normally, this game requires a post number (see: Ponychan, 4chan) but seeing we do not have that sort of system that we'll have to make do with our IntenseDebate scores.
Look at you e-peen. If your scores ends with one of the corresponding numbers, you must perform the given task. Here's the numbers:
#0- Make a pun comment.
#1- Make a tired video game reference.
#2- Hit the random button and post the resulting submission here.
#3- Make a Courage Kratos macro and post it here.
#4- Post ponies!
#5- Tell a Gabe Newell fat joke.
#6- Complement a submission you hate.
#7- Complement Paulrus-Keaton? because nobody loves him.
#8- Type your real first name into the Sonic Fanon Wiki and post whatever character comes up here.
#9- Slam your fist on the keyboard and add vowels to whatever came up. This is your username for the day.
#Doubles (ex: 22, 44) -- Write a parody of a song pertaining to the game this submission is based on.
#Triples (ex: 111, 222) -- Turn off your computer and stay off it for the rest of the day. Go live your life, dammit.
Come on, ya'll, be adventurous.
<img src='http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/4479/legitz.jpg' border='0'/>
Are Reimu and Mima TF2 hats?
Because I love hats.
Things this video makes me want to do:
1. Play Portal 2
2. Watch Nightmare Before Christmas
3. Eat cake
Lojekikas… I wonder if that means anything in another language
I'll bet the Gensokyo girls love hats even more than you do.
This is fantastically well done.
Also, inb4slowpoke.jpg
Cave Johnson here.
Now I seem to have noticed that some punk has decided to impersonate me for fun. I'll have you know that I didn't get to the prestigious position I'm in by just letting the plebeians make fun of me. Mr. Handyside, I'll get to you later.
Now may I point out that there is only one Cave Johnson, and I'm him. The next time one of you Black Mesa spies manages to steal my identity, I'll send another hoard of Aperture's "Little Black Sheep" to your doorstep. I'm betting you don't have the assets to keep waves and waves of Mantis-Men out of your facility, now do you.
*turns*
Caroline, we do have the Mantis-Men from the last siege ready, don't we? We don't? We can always make more. Tell the lab boys to take the van to Pittsburgh, there are enough vagrants to suit our needs over there.
*turns back*
Enough of this impersonating me funny business, you hear? I don't want to have to call in a favor from Abstergo or worse Umbrella just to make you stop, right?
And now here's a message to you, Mr. Handyside. Fix those damned forums. I don't need my comment's section flooded with images that I didn't make. They're not as funny when other people do it. Get those forums up and I might even overlook all the improper submissions you've posted in the past month. That way I can focus my lawyers on something better. Which reminds me…
*pushes intercom*
I'm not paying you slime to just sit around in there. Yes, I see you. Even you, Dennis. Go wash my car or something. Keep it up and you'll end up like the last set that we hired.
*turns back*
Never would have figured that their livers could actually produce nuclear fusion. The lab boys sure did prove the Second Law of Thermodynamics wrong. Sticking it to the man ever since that first portal.
Cave Johnson. We're done here.
This system is a nice way to keep festive, Paulrus.
I used to have all my powers drained from me, but then I took an arrow to the knee. Does that count as a tired video game reference? Cause it hurt my brain just typing it.
Whoops, I was looking for Black Mesa.
Mima's just waiting for her glorious return…
Any day now.
Who else was expecting a "This is SPARTA" video until they read the caption?
EDIT: Should I add a top hat and monocle to my avatar if I ever reach 69 e-peen, or should I change my avatar to something that looks better with one?
Probably. I hate hats.
(If you missed this event…)
<img src="http://i917.photobucket.com/albums/ad17/mentlegen1/shawnbag2-1.png">
<img src="http://i917.photobucket.com/albums/ad17/mentlegen1/myhat-1.png">
They sure do, Leo…they sure do.
#7
Y…You are a good boy, Paulrus…
Now let me get back to my forum bitching.
Thanks for the status update.
http://www.halolz.com/2009/12/05/tits/
1: Half-Life 2: Episode 3 being released
2: The forums being fixed
3: Mima returning
Unlike the other two, #3 actually has a chance of happening.
#0
Um. This submission made me very GLaD?
Love puns, terrible at making them.
What are you thinking with #1? Do you want Halolz to be infested with the Skyrim meme!?
Video games have been around for 30 or so years. I think someone can pull out an older joke.
If not, kick 'em in the dishpan…. hoo hoo hoo.
…..Did the automatic +1 from posting that really push you up from 92 to 93?
Because if so, that is amazing.
Otherwise, you're doing it wrong.
Well you've already had your first Skyrim meme response to your proposition.
Thus far, that's 100% of the #1 comments which have been the Skyrim meme, and that is a really bad record.
Indeed. Just after Aya's other two spin-offs are released, that is.
Your new game is genius and should be played when the comments are getting repetitive. Bravo Paulrus, bravo.
Half-life episode three was completed but then Gabe Newell thought the master disc was a donut. Due to the pain experienced by the shards in his mouth he turned quickly to Robin Walker for advice. None survived the ensuing destruction that is Gabe's swinging gullet.
Interesting start to the song. Can't wait to hear how the rest goes.
So…. no more hats?
Those turrets are obviously lying I mean GLaDOS would never lead me astray no matter how many death traps she may have accidentally left in my path I will get that cake.
It's been awhile since I've done this, but GRAMMAR HAMMER!
Aperture*
Wheatley*
GLaDOS*
cell phone*
GIR*
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/R9vBr.gif">
Gabe Newell is so….aw come on…didn't the poor guy lose some weight?
HERESAY!
*Fires hat cannon at Paulrus*
…I end in 8, but there are no characters called "Gareth".
…so alone. ; _ ;
Wait, I'm a double, so….feck.
Erm…
There once was a Core called Wheatley
Who's personality was originally quite meek-ley
Then he gained full power
And within an hour
The lab was looking quite peaky.
Robin Walker had one last dying wish: "More hats" Gabe set out to fill this dying wish and stole every single one of his dead employees' hats. After which he began to put each and every one into TF2. So short answer there will be insanely large amounts of hats. Because we all know how much you "love" hats Paulrus.
There are usually people who can do that for you, like they did for me. Top hats and monocles will suit anything. And I'm a freaking piece of cheese.
mobile phone* When I'm British.
(*Plays music in background as I execute a series of model poses*)
Lets see 8…..
aw crap I might have to apply brain bleach after I look this up.
Jayden the Coyote
Ugghh I think I'm gonna be sick.
I won't MAKE a full blown Kratos meme, on account of me being stuck with GIMP, which I despise….but I can post text for it!
Top half : Blame gods for senseless slaughter
Bottom half : I kill you and you and you and you and you and you and you….
Aw shit, just for fun I tried it and I was like "pfffft no one will have my full/shortened….first….name…..*FUCK NO REACTION* Christopher J. Kazzoom
AND THE CHARACTER SHEET….IT'S SO BAD….OH GOD WHY….
Remind me again why people don't just leave the Cave Johnson posts to you? lol
Oh my, this "Aperture Science" place looks awesome!
Maybe I'll just go there sometime to buy some of these "Turrets" thingies (I swear, some of the new prinnies keep trying to run away, I don't even know where do they intend to go, because they're in hades and stuff, but it kinda annoying having to run after them, so it would be nice having these turrets to stop them)
Or maybe I'll ask if they can lend me the place so I'll start training prinnies there, look's like a great place, and I'll pretty sure this "GlaDOS" lady would love to have more people… stuff, to make her tests!
*sees title*
Laws of Physics?
THIS. IS. APERTURE!
*sigh*
I need to get off my lazy ass one of these days.
Gabe Newell made you a HL3… but then he eated it.
87p
who is this Paulrus-Keaton fellow?
-introduction
-something about human resources and worker satisfaction
-thought human resources was human testing
-turns them into mantis men after wasting company time
-something something
-something ridiculous
-something something
-cave signing off
SHIT! Paulrus! What does 100 fall under?
But you don't hate vests. Seriously though, you need to stop hanging out with Francis.
Shawn has good taste in accessories.
hey, dont blame me! i never played the game before!
should I run?
"#Doubles (ex: 22, 44) -- Write a parody of a song pertaining to the game this submission is based on."
This is the best I could do. fit the words to the song =) rel="nofollow">
He's a sly evil agent
but his hats are so blatent
but if you stand behind hsooooo, watch out.im, you'll feel his knife is so potent
Then what'll she do? He'll mix up a bad disguise
and take you'r place and kill all your allies
edit: ehh crap my e-peen changed and this is about TF2 not portal… but i'll leave this up anyway and try the keyboard mash. mnik… cool
What do you do when the submission is already a parody of a song, pertaining to the game that the submission is based on?
Post the lyrics?
<img src="http://upload.slightlymore.co.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/93a29064_Slow-Clap.gif" width="400">
Well, i know what's going to be stuck in my head today.
Hm…
"I believed that the cake was a lie, but then I took an arrow to the knee"
…
Oh, what have I done!?
Oh damn. I'll get it next time for sure.
Until then, enjoy this:
<img src="http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/bloguploads/star-wars-gifs-dinsey.gif">
Johnson doesn't sound crazy enough. Too deep.
Edit: On an unrelated note, I finally gave my avatar a Top Hat and Monocle for surpassing 69 e-peen! And by that I mean I googled gurren lagaan with top hat and monocle and used the first relevant image! I present: Gentleman Kamina!
Cave Johnson's Nightmare Before Science will be a smash hit in the box office!
"#6- Complement a submission you hate."
Wow, I really got the shit stick on this one…I don't hate anything really…I just tolerate some submissions more than others…
If you have a D12, this may be more fun…
An interesting proposition, Paulrus.
Now that I am tasked with a pun, I can't seem to come up with one. Gah…
That makes me want to punch something.
HERESY!
*Fires grammar cannon at Gazzy*
Wasn't number three supposed to happen in Touhou 13…?
Maybe that was just trollfodder for ZUN to laugh at.
Lesse… I'm number…
AHAHA NOPENOPENOPE!
*jumps out window*
Yeah I totally forgot my parachute.
*splat*
You've never played either Portal games?!
DEPRIVED PEASANT!
FULFILL YOUR DESTINY SO THAT YOU MAY EXPERIENCE TRUE SCIENCE!
If I had ever been given a reason to like Mima, it is contained within this comic.
Also, screw you Reimu. I can whine about forums, make funny comments on Halolz and…
*thunderclap*
LIVE A LIFE!
Only if he chooses all four options.
IT MAY BE SPELT LIKE THAT BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE THE TONES OF AN ANGRY WARHAMMER 40K PLAYER!
*Fires Warhammer 40K cannon at Alpar*
Well I might as well put this here then.
I'm sorry.
<img src="http://i1087.photobucket.com/albums/j480/DrRover/Goodmyepeen.png"/>
WITCHCRAFT AND MUTATION!
Sadly, Megaman will never be able to save the church of falcon… Capcom pulled the funding on this one too :(
Even still, I think the arrow to the knee joke is the most tired of them all, so tired in fact, it's practically comatose
So essentially, if your E-peen ends in a 1, it won't for long because of all of the -1 that will be slung your way in response to an "arrow to the knee" joke
I thought it was gonna be a "This is SPARTA" joke at first too
EDIT oh hey apparently I hit 69 e-peen!!! Does that mean I need to ask someone for a top hat and monocle?
SPELLED!
*Fires Tronium Grammar Cannon at Gazzy*
Well this IS the future we're talking about. Of course he wouldn't be there. Capcom would be too busy being bombed in an attempt to save what good is left in them. While Megaman has no moves to show unless he steals from others. The nerve.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT WHEAT YOU FOOL!
*Fires wheat cannon at Alpar*
Dear god… you just made me have a thought… the nerve of you.
Capcom will probably be able to insert Megaman into the next SSB… too bad it'll either be the one from SFxTekken or Zero cosplaying as X.
just going to mention the fact that this is a dice game w/o dice……
…Its like Paranoia w/o friend computer……
…oh and the cake is a lie….
If Megaman were in the next SSB that would be awesome. He's a perfect fit. And I think Nintendo knows better than to let it turn out like that… I hope Nintendo knows better than to let it turn out like that……… I PRAY Nintendo knows better than to let it turn out like that
WHY DID MY LAST COMMENT GET DOWNRATED?!
*Fires confusion cannon at Gazzy*
MAYBE YOU AREN'T USING ENOUGH CANNONS!
*Fires cannon cannon at Alpar*
Although a top hat may be nice, my glasses are about 20% cooler than a monocle.
DOUBLE GRAMMAR HAMMER!
Hey*
don't*
I*
question what new characters did nintendo or nintendo exclusive create in the wii era in the next super smash bros
only ones i can think of is travis touchdown (no more heroes), rosalina (mario galaxy), blob (de blob), corobo (little king story), rabbids (raving rabbids etc.), and if they have to; a mii
other characters not in the wii gen maybe should be added is ridley, and maybe some trophy characters
OI! DEM 'UMIE BOIZ OVA DER SEEM TA BE FOIRIN' DER DAKKA AT DEM SELFS… IT'S ROIGT TOIME WE SHOWS DEM WAT REEL DAKKA IS!!!
*dakkadakkadakkadakkadakka at both of you*
you crossed the memes
you should never cross the memes
Well, I have a pathetic 47 E-Peen. Let's see. 7…
Thank you, Paulrus, for inventing such a… wonderful… dice game… -grits teeth.-
DON'T INTERFER ORK SCUM.
*Fires Orbital Strike Cannon in the air, which hits Deep Thought*
#6.
Damnit.
Hey Shawn! That was a nnnn… Nn-nnn-nn… NNN-NNNN… NNNNNNNNNice submission with Tibbers and Inception a while back!
Hey, that wasn't so bHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
#1
Shawn fixing the forums IS A LIE! (amidoinitrite?)
Oh good God.
I WOULD FIRE A CANNON AT ALL OF YOU BUT MY GUNS WON'T FIT IN THE SHRUNKEN COMMENT BOX!
*Stares longingly at the cannon which is too big for this space*
Kid Icarus Uprising hasn't been released yet, and that might have some new characters in it… also, if Nintendo announces that Quote will be a playable character in the next SSB, I pray you are no where near me on that day, because… well… suffice it to say:
<img src="http://www.reactionface.info/sites/default/files/images/1310650820313.jpg">
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!?
*Fires the Forced Friendship Cannon at Everyone*
And not necessarily in that order.
Spartann30: Leave it to this guy to misspell Aperture when it's in the freaking submission title.
Town that represents Halloween: Safe. Place for testing science: very deadly.
This is why we have Zyquux on standby with a Grammar Hammar.
-A circle of 27 Level-3 Sentries appear around him.-
That was an intentional mis-spell. Do not step over the white line.
You dare use the Friendship Cannon on us, take this
<img src="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/218/730/mlfw1818-Ahmrw.gif">
Ohhh snap! 88 e-peen!
Song time!
Lets try…
Gel Drops keep fallin' on my head.
Gel drops keep fallin' on my head,
And just like stasis, I feel like staying in my bed,
For nine-nine-nine-nine days,
Those gel drops keep fallin' on my head they keep fallin'
So I did me some talkin' to GLaDOS,
And said that I think that mauling me would be so gross,
that isn't your job,
Those gel drops keep fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'
But there's one thing I know,
The turrets she sends to meet me,
Wont defeat me,
I won't let all those crushers go and eat me,
Gel drops keep fallin' on my head,
That that doesn't mean she'll tear me to a bunch of shreds,
Dyin's not for me,
'cause I'm never gonna win these tests by deceasing,
Because I'll be free,
nothing will worry me
Did I do it right?
OI! DEM 'UMIES GOT UZ TRAPPED! FETCH DEM MEKBOIZ SOZ WE CAN GET THRU DIS 'ERE GREEN WALL!
Is the joke that I can't read the bottom words because they are too dark?
I can see maybe a T in there, and an AR and maybe a OCE…
I do want a nice big cake… but more… truthful! Oh, and less caloric intake. My mother gets rather… irate… when dealing with rather delicious cake, demanding a specific number…
I read every page of Halolz a long time ago and I've been up-to-date since. I don't hate any submissions, so I guess I can't do anything. D: What now?
I'm a pretty big otaku and all, but have no time to delve into things like this. Just so I'm not an idiot who acts like he thinks he's right, I'll ask beforehand and risk the shunning.
This is Touhou, right?
If so, for my sake, I'd like some tips on how to get into the plot and stories of Touhou, since for the most part all I've seen is indie games that look more game than story. I might sound like a fool, but forgive me. I know less about Touhou than I do vocaloids, and all I can say about vocaloids is that I like Kaito, Miku, Len, and Rin.
Maybe you need new glasses, I can see it just fine…
What a coincidence.
I got new glasses just today.
As in just today.
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/es.pokemon/images/8/89/Wailord.png" height="500" width="1500">
(Simulation of Wailord squeezed into a pokeball)
Are you certain you didn't hate any of the Spore submissions?
That thing has really been gathering dust, hasn't it?
You eyesight is pretty bad…
Anyway, it says " 'Two steps' are the whole process"
Maybe just one more video… wait. No. Good night Halolz!
<img src=http://i.imgur.com/U5qZW.gif>
You know, I went through the Spore submissions again, and… I would say I do, but since I find them funny due to my "Express all forms of humor so life is better" philosophy, I can't say I hate them.
But Shawn's comment on the very first Spore entry…? Why…? Why would you say that, Shawn!?
Down the hall and to your left. Don't forget to wear a helmet.
Yes. Yes it has.
Am I the only one who was expecting a Sparta reference at first?
maybe if the forums were working I could ask for one properly…
I don't think you understand the true meaning of the Forced Friendship Cannon. I'd fire the Understanding Cannon but unfortunately, I've been killed by a sudden Sonic Rainnuke.
trufax.
you are not safe in this place…
…are you still there?
Yes.
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5f/Symbol_thumbs_up_green.png" width="15" height="20" /img>You did it right.
I wanna get into bed every night like that.
TO THE INDOCTRINATION ROOM!
sorry but nothing beets the real thing <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6l-SVv_AqcM/TjFLpKciXKI/AAAAAAAAAXs/NYLZHqCHyrE/s1600/humpback_whale_margaret_river.jpg">
What happens when you cross the memes?
Imagine every bit of your e-peen suddenly accelerating at different derections all at once.
Dang, how high is your house?
Yes, is is Touhou.
Effectively, Touhou IS an Indie game that is more plot than story. The rel="nofollow">main games only have a story of one little exchange of dialogue between the boss and player before and after the fight. Other than that everything is pretty much contained in the game manual.
There are a few official Touhou manga, but aside from they exist I know nothing about them. Please redirect further questions about them to the Halolzian user named "Leo."
Lastly… read fandom material. Touhou is most likely over 50% fanon if you actually get into it. Not just works done, but the character's personalities too.
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxa37dJD081r4b141.jpg">
One more thing…
Touhou is divided into two "ages." PC98 was the original, but when the series got adapted for Windows it was all but made non-canon (so far, only 4 characters from PC98 have returned out of about 30 or so). Whether or not you accept it as canon, it is the history of the project, and it always would help to know the characters.
Uhm… Shouldn't it be 'Spelling Hammer', or something like that, since you corrected the spelling and not the grammar?
.
.
.
I'll just show myself out…
Doesn't matter. The reason why I always fall outta houses without parachutes?
Because the best way to learn how to fly is to fall and to miss the ground.
I can step over any white line whenever I want >:(
CAN'T LET YOU POST THAT TRUFAX!
Dang, I used to think my old cave johnson rants were perfect.
NOT ANYMORE!
WHY ARE YOU ALL THREAD JACKING MINE AND ALPAR'S FIGHT.
*Fires cannons at all of you full of ball bearings*
I see. Thanks a lot!
Also: I friggin' love Jackie Chan Adventures.
all life as you know it will stop instantaneously and every molecule
in your body will explode at the speed of light
so yeah also your peens
Lessee… um… 84.
…
PONY TIME! http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-odCXQocJbws/TyXRNsmyb9I…
Fact Core: "You will not survive this world. 'Survive' is an adjective, not a verb."
Adventure Core: "This is Aperture."
Space Core: "Space Space Space-Space-Space!"
Running out of space.
Quickly we mus see how much space we can remove so add a whole bunch of crap
btw I did not tell shawn to keep the forms hidden untill next year
<img src="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/241/052/074.jpg">
Dispensing a Gabe Newell Fat Joke:
<img src=http://y4kstudios.com/media/uploads/2009/04/gaben.jpg>
Wait, derp, I meant more game than story… not more plot than story…
I have a punny submission!
that was it, if you were expecting something good, well no.