Skyrim Stan may not be the smartest Dragonborn around, but at least he’s keeping that knee protected!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 31, 2011 · 7:16 AM
   (217 votes, average: 3.76 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Advice Meme, Bethesda, Highly Illogical Captain, PC, Playstation, The Elder Scrolls, Weak Points, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (48 Comments) |
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NO. NO NO NO NO NO. NONONO. NO.
PLEASE NO.
So you took 99 arrows but not one to the knee? Well congratulations: you're not a cripple. However, I must also offer my condolences: you're dead.
<img src="http://troll.me/images/awyeah/oh-yes.jpg">
Ladies and mentlegen, I believe we have found our new Kratos Advice Meme. Please panic in an orderly fashion.
I used to take an arrow to the knee, but then I brought knee pads. Now I am invincible to everything arrow related.
Aaaaaaaaah.
Aaaaaaaaah.
Aaaaaaaaah.
Depends how often he took the arrows. An arrow a day keeps the Civil War away!
rel="nofollow">I didn't quite hear you. Say again?
I was looking for something funny and relevant. There were so many good things. But this one took the cake (it tied with a Batman's parents dying/Skyrim joke, but I saw this and told myself "THIS")
<img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwbaghcz3n1r0do2lo1_500.jpg">
Alright, orderly fashion?
*takes out baton*
We'll need a maestro.
One, two…
Giants + Dwarven Sphere = Space Core?
FOR SCIENCE!
A-one two three fAAUGH!
…
Okay, that was not order. That was an arrow.
I'm sorry, for someone seems to have taken a Huntsman to my spine. I can no longer carry out panicking in an orderly fashion.
Only the regular fashion.
<img src="http://files.sharenator.com/salute_RE_Epic_Demotivational_Posters_With_Girls-s500x348-241818-580.jpg" width="333" height="232" /img>
Oh okay, in that case.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I had to try my hand at this.
<img src='http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/12/12435/12733916.jpg'>
That really was odd for me, considering the helmet was iron. I.e. that armor for people who smash things, not shoot things.
rel="nofollow">NO.
<img src=http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/12/12436/12734817.jpg>
rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
Quick! Send him to TvTropes! He might get trapped there!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HornyV…
OH NO IT BACKFIRED!
NOW I AM STUCK THERE AS SOON AS I CLOSE THIS TAB D:
Had this post been two images and not used that horribly overused meme, it would probably be a full star higher.
I would like to draw everyone's attention to the following: rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
Bethesda Softworks: Phuck Physics!
I would like to imagine that he took all 99 arrows to the knee at the same time.
or rather…
I WOULDN'T like to imagine that, getting an arrow wound once is painful enough.
WEAR NECKLACE
HOLY SHIT I FEEL LIKE I CAN SWING SWORDS BETTER NOW
rel="nofollow">Let me paraphrase.
"Then, son, my dad gave me this antique arrow, which got me in to archery. After that, I entered a world archery championship and won. I won a trophy and learned that valuable lesson that sports are so much more fulfilling than merely getting an achievement in a videogame. That son, is why I got out of Skyrim"
NO! DOCTOR!
…It's too late. He's gone.
*Sad gameover music*
Are there crosshair lenses in that iron helmet?
What would it have used then?
'Cept for the occasional Lucksman shot
one of these things is not like the others, one of these things isn't funny.
(crosses fingers praying I used proper grammar, and preparing fire spells for the trolls)
Gravity?
BITCH IMMA HORSE
Another meme? Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.
*Jumps off cliff*
*falls 2 feet*
*Lands in front of Giant.*
Shit.
rel="nofollow"> guys i'm scared
i wanna join in to
This story is totally unrealistic because video games are way better than sports. Right?
Hey, my Skyrim Protag took an arrow to the neck in a fight. Didn't even blink.
I used to use improper grammar,
but then I took an English class to not sound like an idiot
I vote this as better than the ones above.
Okay, let's just pretend for a moment, that you (as a skyrim player) and I (as an actual archer) attempted to duel to the death using the skill sets relevant to our respective hobbies..
I'm currently working on obtaining celtic Yew for a 178cm (roughly 6 foot long) longbow with a 4 cm(oops 6cm) cross section string with heavy duty artificial sinew.
Let's see how those thumbs and index fingers save you from a three bladed barbed hunting arrow fired from 1 and a half city blocks away (because I'm not freaking robin hood).
I haven't done the torsion calculations yet, so I don't know how much force the bow would yield in draw weight, but assuming that I hit your knee you probably won't even be good as a city guard anymore.
The cross section of the arrowhead is the size of a quarter (25 cents US currency for you foreigners).
Longbows can actually pierce plate armor somewhat reliably, and since you're dueling as a Skyrim player and NOT a SCR member…. You don't GET armor.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/586943
I took a Seviper's fang to the knee, and I never complained. Of course, there were fangs all over me…and other things.
…never get drunk at a Pokemon frat party, kids.
Listen… you hear that? That's the sound of the joke going over your head.
I can hear it, it makes a sound like "Fuuus"
If your having bow problems I feel bad for you son.
Got hit with 99 arrows but the knee? not one.
All I heard was the sound of an incredibly lame attempt at humor by feigned ignorance in response to a meme that isn't funny in the first place.
Also, my response was in it's own right, a joke that went over YOUR head.
I see no need to make accommodations for Poes Law, because if someone can't tell the difference between satirical response and genuine idiocy they're probably mentally retarded.
Johnathan Swift didn't use emoticons in "A Modest Proposal" so why should I?
I was making a blatantly sarcastic statement because I wanted to make a joke considering that this is a site for humor. You seemed to take what I said very seriously and literally as you went into a long explanation about how you with your amazing skills, bow, and arrow, would be able to easily take me on in one-on-one combat.
You now attempt to pass off what you just said as a joke which leaves us with two possibilities. What you said was not a joke and you're just trying to cover your ass, or you think that jokes involve a large degree of technical information and leaving out any resemblance to any actual attempt at humor.
If you think something like that can't possibly be a joke, then you've probably never read a Modest Proposal or even know who Johnathan Swift was.
My post was a form of Horatian Satire where an insincere premise and discourse was presented as a serious argument. The outlandish level of detail as well as the seemingly pointless premise were a dead giveaway.
Again, I'll start using emoticons and other ways to denote sarcasm/satire/humor when someone points out to me those same features in something like the letter by alexander pope that prefaced "Rape of the Lock" or "A Modest Proposal" by Johnathan Swift.
I don't see why you got all riled up over it anyways, nothing was particularly funny about your response to "Prof.Weegee." If anything, my response made your funnier because it provided a reaction to put the limited humor in context. Inherent humor is a myth indulged in by mongoloids without any concept of comedy, context and delivery can make anything funny (and are what makes something funny to begin with).
I've nearly been shot by an arrow…. it wasn't a hunting arrow, it was a practice arrow.
The guy who shot the arrow was either drunk or stoned, and it went right past my ear. It was so close the end of the arrow (the part that's nocked on the bowstring) left a cut on my ear.
If THAT hurt, I can only imagine what YOUR bow could do…. death by arrow in knee sounds like the most likely option.
Did I mention I dislike sharp objects stuck in me?