If only more guards followed this advice, they could have had far longer adventuring careers!
By Adriano Alves [via Rampaged Reality]
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 29, 2011 · 3:17 PM
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Categories: Bethesda, Political, The Elder Scrolls, Tips & Tricks, Weak Points · Leave a comment (67 Comments) |
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Skyrim, inventor of the knee bling
And Skyrim Players: Inventors of bacon armor.
<img src="http://www.tifr.us/storage/post-images/Skyrim-Bacon-Helmet-1.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1323716060921">
Dammit! I'm once again foiled by the fact I haven't played Skyrim. Now I can make no witty comment. Well atleast I'm not making an arrow to the knee joke.
But then he got they got an arrow in the other knee….
this joke stopped being funny a while ago.
You don't know how to -1 troll properly do you? O_-
Wait wait wait. REMOVE the arrow?!
This changes everything!
how is this trolling? i'm commenting with my opinion.
Do want, but probably would eat.
To be fair, mashed up in that fashion, the bacon doesn't even look desirable to me…
I agree with Shishu. I personally can't stand it anymore. Ever since it got into the awareness of the masses, it just got annoying. Just like Nyan cat.
I would like to blame Reddit and the misuse of Tumblr. And whoever the hell broke numbers 1 and 2 of /b/.
Ok, what kind of arrow is it?
If it's a target arrow, get a bit to bite down on and have someone else pull it out with a vice or pliers/smithing tongs.
If it's a broadhead, cut the fletchings and push it through (do not do this if it's near any major arteries or organs)
If it's a barbed arrow grab a knife and remove the bit of flesh it's in.
If it's a frog crotch arrow, then remove the damned limb.
If it's any of the above and poisoned then don't bother, you'll be dead shortly anyways.
"Remove the arrow from your knee" is the most useless medical advice ever. Removing a long sharp object from your extremities is painful (removing a sharp object lodged in you is infinitely more traumatic than having it put there), and now it's not keeping most of your blood in you.
I can speak from personal experience on this, which is why I can't bring myself to find it funny.
Hah! By the Nine, it's so obvious now! I can't believe I never thought of that before! Man, this is a real knee-slapp--AUGH FUCK!!
I use to not know what a frog crotch arrow was, then I googled it.
And DAMN that thing would hurt.
Kinda puts a new spin on Grease, doesn't it?
And now you got me second guessing myself…
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/AeZfS.gif">
There is an arrowhead I don't know the name of, which has a C shaped blade for a tip (the ends of the C point at the target) and has 4 teeth on it, two pointing forward from the C and two on the inside of the C.
so it would look kinda like this: >>=======C
Those are even harder to remove than Frog Crotch arrows.
looks like someone lost a fight with a dragon…
You should be ashamed of yourself.
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/X3pne.jpg">
but it hurts like the dickens
Unfortunately the guards of Skyrim can't read.
Also some of them get nervous when I start shouting Lydia across town.
Nuh uhhhhhh. I killed tons of 'em, with anima magic, dark magic, light magic, hero classes, the Sword of Seals-
oops, wrong series.
Keep calm? You mean…
<img src='http://www.themoderndaypirates.com/pirates/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/dontpanic-front.jpg'>
I just thought of something: If an arrow to the knee is a crippling enough wound to make you give up an adventuring career, then why in all of Skyrim did they choose to take up the career of a guard?
Aren't guards expected to do things like patrol and give chase to criminals? 'Cause those seem like the kind of things you'd want healthy legs for.
*Dons -1 glasses*
Here we go….
Will it help their adventuring? I think not. As the saying goes:
"Time heals all wounds"
"But arrow-related knee injuries cripple you for life "
You've killed his chance to edit his post….
Well done.
Excuse me, Guard SolidScientist,
if all it took for a guard to not be a guard and still be an adventurer was simply to remove the arrow, then why are all of the guards arrow-to-the-kneeless? If they removed the arrow eventually but still were doomed to become a guard, then doesn't that make this sign pointless and your optimism misplaced?
Aah, misplaced optimism…one of the 6.5 things better than drinking a chocolate milk of glass.
I got Skyrim a couple days ago. I've heard this line from the guards around 20 times. On the Internet though, 200…
I was laughing it up a couple comments ago, then this humbling and knowledgeable post humbled me. This is a prime example of 'funny isn't always better'.
Also,
<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_uLYbic99bDY/TUoMdRxVbWI/AAAAAAAAAco/As0DV9rVgMk/s1600/TheMoreYouKnow.gif">
But…. it was a Rambo arrow, so far I've only managed to find little charred pieces of my left leg….
crap, it's stuck. I need help. MEDIC.
I've seen some with the Omega symbol as an arrow head.
>Annoying
>Nyancat
NO WEI!
Keep Calm and Drink a fucking healing potion.
That shit is everywhere.
Healing here, healing there,
HEALING EVERYWHERE!
FROM TROPES I BRING:
"… Attempting to pull out an arrow will only make things worse -- historically, arrowheads were not firmly adhered to their shafts. Sometimes they were attached with a blob of candlewax, but usually the archers would simply spit on the shaft -- thus, pulling on the shaft would leave the arrowhead inside the wound. The only way to remove one was to widen the wound, either with a knife or by wiggling it around. And as archers would usually stick a number of arrows in the dirt at their feet in preparation for firing them, this meant arrow wounds always became badly infected.
The only ways to deal with an arrow quickly were to either snap its shaft(a lot more difficult than Hollywood makes it look, as they were made from the hardest woods available so they would fly further and straighter), or pushing it on through and out the other side, although this will do in a pinch if the arrow is mostly through anyway. "
You bring much logic and sense, and I commend you for that.
Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna get on my flying horse and watch giants fling people into orbit. But not before I freeze this elk and watch him flip end over end down a mountain.
also… you've had a personal experience with arrows in your knee?
sooo……. how's life as a guard?
Overused arrow + knee meme, but still its
<img src="http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x448/FluffyQuacker/notbad.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0">
wait…. I took an arrow to the knee too?
THAT explains the horrible pain and the infection in my knee….
Ahh, but who's to say that the arrow-head isn't still lodged somewhere in their kneecap? Having the shaft and fletching of an arrow jutting out of one's knee would become quite cumbersome, so it's not too unreasonable to think that maybe the grand majority of the guards in Skyrim simply broke away what bits of the shaft they could, while sanding the rest down while not removing what was already embedded in the flesh, then simply choosing to wear their guard armor over it.
Is the entire arrow still in one's knee? Technically speaking, no, but there is still an arrow-head and perhap pieces of the arrow-shaft still in the knee, so one could still argue that they had arrows in their knees. Really, all it comes down to then is semantics.
As for how they might going about removing an arrow embedded in such a way, I'm not really sure. Maybe the Magic of Friendship could help them.
It gets annoying when everybody at your school shoves it down your throat…
"LAWL TEH PAWP TART CAT IS SO FUNNEH, OMG, WE SHOULD MAEK DIS A MEEM"
"LOL I'M COOL CUZ I NO MY MEMES :D"
I remember back when the internet was limited to.. less.. uhh… uncultured.. people. For a lack of a better description. It's practically BECOME a culture for them, which is really really low for their standards.
…………………..
why is the "political" tag there?
wait
i thought when the arrow's in your knee, its over
you can just take it out and keep going?
FOOD ROH DAH!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT!
FUS ROH MMMMM!
I'z done now.
Grammer is a dictatorship around here, isn't it?
*sigh*
Another day in the life of someone who is keyboard illiterate (Oh god I hope I spelled that right)
Actually I was only accusing them of it because everyone else had 0 while he had +1 and it said posted 5 minutes ago. (When I posted that) Why is he so fancy huh? Spy, that's why.
I agree it's annoying, but as long as you ignore it (like a smart person), it'll run it's course.
Or just wait until Elder Scrolls VI is released.
Welcome to the internet, where some are nice, but extremely few in numbers. But apparently taking everything literally and seriously is the "right" thing to do in today's society.
It's always one extreme or the other isn't it?
That's great and all but what about this guy?
<img src="http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/9956/chestn.jpg">
I wish he hadn't said it when he was completely in shadow :(
then how in the hell did he survive?
oh wait…. RPG logic…
I never found this meme funny either due to similar reasons,
Least I know I'm not alone in that opinion anymore!
Hey, there are people out there who survived bullets to the head and lightning strikes.
P.s. i found another pic of him in the mario christmas thread and I find it funny that he's in almost complete shadow in that pic too.
I guess being former adventurers with extremely short careers they didn't have many useful skills other than beating people with sharp pieces of metal. Kind of limits your career options.
Rambo arrows? You're lucky you can still collect your little pieces. rel="nofollow">
If one removes the arrow in the knee… does that make one an adventurer?
One does not simply remove the arrow from the knee.
This sign should be all over skyrim by now……
<img src="http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/4673/calmz.jpg">
Also Guardness is actually pretty quiet, as evidenced by how bloody terrible they are at fighting. Have you seen when guards have to fight a dragon? Not pretty.
I think it would be because of the British origins of the poster.
Normally, I'd agree with you, but when a group Dawnstar of guards can kill a dragon after I have only hit it with about 5 arrows, the guards are good at their job.
Must just be the Winterhold ones. Maybe there are no guards left because I've had three dragons attempt to ambush me in Winterhold already. :\
Not in the knee, but yes, I've had an arrow injury. Actually, if I think about it I've got a wide variety of rather unpleasant injuries in my resume. Also, I've handled first aid cases involving puncture wounds. It's best to leave the arrow in until you have everything you need to treat the wound, as well as a place for the victim to rest.
That's basically what I'm speaking of, but the crossed portions of the omega point inward so the T part forms a point for the arrow, and the back of the T part form teeth on the inside of the C shaped arrowhead.
FUS RO NOM
I know most of what I do about other cultures via internet.