Aperture Laboratories wishes you and your designated loved ones a very happy holiday, and reminds you not to approach the decorative science topiary as it is highly radioactive and contains several varieties of weaponized “Christmas cheer.”
By Tymykal [via io9]
|
Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 26, 2011 · 5:27 PM
  (314 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5) Loading ... |
|
Categories: Christmas, Holidays, No Caption Needed, Photo Op, Portal, Science/Math, Too Much Free Time, Valve Software · Leave a comment (47 Comments) |
|
Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
A lot of Portal stuff this Christmas… don't ask me why, I just work here!
Chell's going to be very disappointed when she finds that the cake is actually a Fruitcake
Baby Jesus makes a great button weight, now if only he was cube shaped…
"All hail our equally proportional savior!"
The Lab Boys report that Quantum Android Santa was not quite operational yet. You will have to do with the regular, non-radioactive, Santa.
At least the weight lets them be excelent for pressing buttons.
Speaking of Portal related stuff…guess what i got for Christmas?!?!?!
My new talking Cave Johnson Portrait!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/collectibles/ea…
rel="nofollow">
No Chell, No, the Christmas pudding is not the cake. Yes Chell, Yes it's supposed to be on fire. No Chell, No you're not supposed to eat it when it's on fire. Yes Chell, Yes you are on fire you can at least say something about it you bloody eejit.
There are so many portal submissions I think I'm starting to see portals on my walls…
Cave Johnson Here.
Now, I told the lab boys that the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is not a toy. They told me it was research. So I told them where they could put their Christmas trees. I then had portals set to fire under their chairs during the next conference, only because I knew that they wouldn't be able to figure that out on their own. I didn't know that trees had so much penetration power when dropped from five stories. I thought it was a riot.
Needless to say, the lab boys were picking their wedgies for weeks after last year's mention of a Christmas bonus. The best part is: I haven't heard a peep about it at all this year. Looks like somebody learned their lesson.
Cave Johnson. We're done here.
I… What… Just…
This my friends is called win.
OK stupid question. Where do you put the presents?
Well then, I want to see your manager!
SOMEONE RANG?
…wait I don't work here!
It should be pretty laser proof too.
Companion Cube is officially forever alone.
Holiday Season 2011 was brought to you by Aperture Science Inc.
I have a special security laser system for my presents. It requires a weighted companion cube, a portal gun, and some egg nog. You don't want to know how you use the egg nog.
So Trunks is the one with the master plan. That explains when Shaun posts LoL subs… he's trying to bring Halolz down!
That's the test. Santa needs to figure it out before he's shot by…oops. Too late.
Lets see Santa try to put presents under this bitch.
Any cake is better than no cake.
With Fruitcake, that's debatable
I want to have your walls.
I kept getting annoyed by how this image was getting circulated.
Then I realized it's not photoshopped.
However, you couldn't incinerate it should it become…Cumbersome.
In which case, you simply hand it over as a gift to the next person in your family, and the cycle begins anew!
So, suppose I were to drop the contents of my silverware drawer (minus the spoons) into a vertically arrayed couplet of portals (for specificity, blue on top, orange on bottom) for around 30 minutes then rigged the portal gun to a remote trigger and pointed it at my fireplace so when Santa enters the chimney the blue portal opens at the bottom.
Would it be ironic if those forks and knives were given to me by Santa a year prior?
Deck the halls with neurotoxin,
Falalalala lala lala~
'Tis the time to start the testin'
Falalalala lala lala~
Here's a shiny potal gun
Falala lalala la la la~
Golly gee, ain't science fun?
Falalalala la la la la~
You mustn't forget of all the different shapes, sizes, and forms it can be delivered in.
On pressure panels.
So are you working hard, or hardly working? BA-DUM TISS!!!
I could say this was a waste of time and effort, but then I'd just be gramer.
I thought you all thought ponies were the halolz cancer…? Well, those and kratos submissions…..
insert kratos/pony crossover submission here.
Well, since you asked for it, here you go.
<img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/halolz-dot-com-godofwar-mylittlepony-mylittlekratos.jpg">
Sir, our math shows that Portal is equal to or greater than Christmas!
Jelly.
Thanks for catching the hint, it really helped :)
THANK YOU ALL, FOLKS! I'LL BE HERE TILL THURSDAY!
Well, check your numbers again!
Wait, why am I complaining? Hah! This is great news! Caroline, make sure someone runs down to Black Mesa to rub that fact in. Everyone else: let's do some science!
You have a higher epeen than Shawn.
I think most people would say you do.
So I'm the boss of this facility now…
…Discord you are my second in command. Bring forth Vabolo, and pit him against Shawn in a cagematch to the death.
Come on Vabolo! I believe in you and your Grammar Hammer! Show me its mite!
*cackles loudly*
Nononononono my dear Alpar.
Chaos…does NOT follow the chain of command. It is free spirited. It is above any sort of order you impose.
Though a battleroyale between Shawn and Vabolo entices me. It tempts me to be chair eating Caeser reclining grape like…
The idea tickles me.
Now you're thinking with… I'll just show myself out.
GRAMMAR HAMMER!
*might
You really brought this upon yourself!
Nah man, I wouldn't want to fight Shawn, he's a cool guy. Eh posts funny vidoe gaem images and doesn't afraid of anything.
Besides, I only fight worthy oppone-
*Permabanned*
I replaced the door with a two overlapping portals! The way out is the way in!
You'll never escape…
forever…
MUHAHAHAHAHA! That was the plan all along! It's the closest I'll ever get to your autograph. Can you tell I don't get out much?
Note to self: my autograph is a SKULL FRACTURE!