A more accurate title, but they were afraid it might scare off some new players!
Found by Sadface
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on October 25, 2011 · 8:38 PM
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Categories: Cover Art, PC, Portal, Rage Enducing, Robots, Valve Software · Leave a comment (82 Comments) |
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82 Responses to “GODDAMN IT”
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Hmm... it's that time of year again. Yep that's right, con season! We're hitting the road to meet fans, hock funny t-shirts and give out high-fives!
Then after that it's straight off to Dallas, Texas for A-Kon!
Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it! (4.86 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.83 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5) (4.82 out of 5)(see more...)
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
This is pretty much what I was saying to myself trying to figure out the new puzzles. Except there were more expletives.
INFINITELY more expletives.
One of the lab boys has just informed me that people dont know how to pronounce my name due to the lack of vowels, Well I'm happy to inform you that wont be changing. I'm the guy with 118 E-peen I can put whatever letters I want in my name! If you love vowels so much why not take a college english course cause YOU ARE FIRED!
spplmj Jhnsn were done here.
"Oh, what's that friendly-sounding thing"
*pokes turret*
Turret: "hello"
*gunfire*
…
[ I forgot the rest :c ]
Alright. I've been thinking.
When life gives you -1s, don't make up for it, GET MAD!
I DON'T WANT YOUR DANG -1s! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!?
DEMAND TO SEE INTENSEDATABASE'S MANAGER!
MAKE TROLLS RUE THE DAY THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD GIVE YOU -1!
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR EPEEN DOWN! WITH THE -1s!
I'M GOING TO GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTABLE -1 TO BURN YOUR EPEEN DOWN!
*cough hack cough*
Science isn't about why, it's about why not.
Why make tests seem way too hard?
Why not make a test that is so easy you just have to walk through the door out to the parking lot because YOU ARE FIRED!
Those of you who volunteered to be injected with courage kratos DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those submissions indefinately. Good news is we've got a much better proposal for you: Portal on Halolz! Make a comment and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the comments start.
Now, the even better news: The -1 trolls' epeens/homes have been burned down by lemons!
PART 2: THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION!
*dies*
<img src=http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-graphs63.png>
Nope, I'm Still Alive
saying "apple"
*jumps*
PART 3: "PART 2 WASN'T THE END?"
*Comes back to life 3 days later Jesus style*
A puzzle always looks easier AFTER its been completed.
Alternate Alternate Titles--
Shit, I missed it, go back and push the button again!
Alright, I think I've got it figured out. No, wait, that's stupid.
No, just put a portal on that thing, and then push that thing. No, not that, the other thing.
Okay, I think we've finally got thi-- FUCKING EMANCIPATION GRIDS!!
Hey, Sir_Nox here to show you our newest invention, the +1 device, or as I like to call it, E-Peen Erector. This took a lot of work, the lab boys needed to bring in some outside help from this guy:
<img src="http://i42.tinypic.com/2yys8rr.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
"EE-RECTIN AN E-PEEN"
Erecting an E-Peen.
Damn right.
Sir_Nox out.
You know this reminds me of something funny that happened to me once
rel="nofollow">Take a look
AKA: Fuck it, I'm looking up the answer…
Welcome, gents, to Halolzian commentary! Pun makers, philosophers, bad trolling, you're here because we want the best and you are it! Now who's ready to get some E-Peen? Now you already met one another on the comment boards here, so let me introduce myself. I'm Cave Johnpar, I own the place (no I don't.) That eager voice you heard is the lovely Handyside, my assistant! Rest assured, he has transferred your honorarium to the charitable websites of your choice! Isn't that right, Handyside? He's the backbone (read: creator) of this community, funny as a postcard too! Sorry fellas, he's married… to gaming!
…and an actual woman.
Final Plan Part: BOOBY TRAP THE DOWNVOTE BUTTON!
Wow, I love this game! Almost as much as "IF YOU STEAL THE STAR I'VE BEEN SLAVING SO HARD FOR, AND IF I HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY ACROSS THIS BOARDMAP TO GET ANOTHER ONE, I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH."
…alternate title for Mario Party, just btw and fyi.
but more importantly, Halolz
Final Plan Part 2: The Part where He Kills You
i wonder if cave or caroline have enough money to hire the riddler
EVERY FUCKING TIME I PLAYED THIS ON MY PS3! FRUHHHHHHHHHHHH
Is that… oh god…
Run! Run!! RRRRRUUUUNNNNN!!!!
"HORGISHNISHNIIR. HAAALIMU! WWOOOOOOOO!"
I played a game with someone playing… that… once. The sound… that horrible sound of space time tearing and unraveling as he ate my friends one by one until I was left alone… His guttural reverse song called to me like a siren's wail and then… It was my time.
zombie jeebus?
That's certainly over 9000
I will follow you forever…
Relevant: http://www.awkwardzombie.com/index.php?page=0&…
FUUUUU.
With me, single player was "… how does this…. OH! DUH. God damn i'm stupid…"
Multiplayer was "No, dad, over here. OVER HERE. WHERE THE MARKER IS. SHOOT IT. SHOOT THE MARKER."
You see its the mentally handicapped people that are the REAL heroes here.
GET MAD!
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Im sorry but the correct answer was
"shit that was really obvious, I must be retarded"
We are human.
No one is perfect.
Oh god that's fucking brilliant. you have my vote.
So much win in all these comments…
WHHhhhHHHeeeEEEeeee…
You probably thought Red was still alive.
Noooope.
It's just Chuck Testa.
rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
Seeing how your playtime for Portal 2 is finite, as even if you were to play it all your life, you could only play it for ninety-or-so years, give or take a zombie apocalypse, and you say that you have used an infinite amount of expletives, I ask you, by what means did you manage this (I know it involves squirrels somehow…) and how much money will it take for me to acquire said means?
See, there are a lot of dumbasses around, and I don't have enough time to make them all realize that through the use of colourful language.
This could be a lot of fun. "If Video Game titles were honest."
In the sky, with diamonds.
Speak for yourself.
Don't forget "YES! I have been in first place for two and a half laps, my hard work and practice have finally paid oFUCKING BLUE SHELL POW BLOCK CHAIN CHOMP RED SHELL" and "I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU PICK PIT AND SPAM THAT STUPID SPINNY ATTACK ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE THAT WII-MOTE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT I CAN ACTUALLY USE YOUR FACE TO PLAY PUNCH-OUT!"
Not enough internet for all these fine gentlemen. BUT I SHALL TRY!
_██_
(ノὸ ˗ ό)ノ ︵ ┬──┬
*SSSSPPPPAAAAaaaAAACCcccCCEeeeEEEE
Nope, It's a spy
If Portal 2 had this title it would be rated M. No exceptions.
I'd rather name it "I accidentally the lazor in my face"
Silly Vabolo, you've had the power inside you all along! You see if you believe hard enough, and curse loud enough, all your dreams will come true!
Can you speak for me too? I'd do it but there's legal chances if I do…
<img src="http://www.ihatethemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/free-internet-coupon-e1283047231926.jpeg">
You mean this…?
oh i SO would have bought it then. but you know… being poor and all….
ummmmm
lolz johnson here
this is the internet. a picture, some text and a site. good enough for people, not for cool people. gentlemen i give you halolz. the internet of tommorow.
constant updates. always has a valve ref. stable. halolz will always give you lolz you need.
thats not a lolz. thats a troll, we have those too
great. now i require more vespene gas. thanks guys
Such… beauty.
<img src="http://i315.photobucket.com/albums/ll478/Zokort/smiley.jpg">
Vabolo a year from now:
"YOU'RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS!"
The Earth will shake. Mountains will erupt and Justin Bieber will have a song hit #1 on the charts featuring Rebecca Black. Then the universe will simply cease to exist. For you see, Vabolo possesses the "Key Phrase" to the end of the world and it must be said in a specific spot which has yet to be revealed.
Should be rated PEGI 16 for frequent coarse language.
took me through the whole game
Me: Dude its right there, just a little to the left.
Friend: Here? *misses the jump for the fifth time*
Me: You know what… screw it. *finds repel gel and bounces for 20 minutes*
on a yellow combustible lemon?
You must be retarded, with science, you monster.
At a 4:13 the next 25th of October?
DANGED DEADRINGER SPIES!
If I miss that, will you have a 6:12 showing?
I made that face when i earned this little bugger:
<img src="http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/thumb/9/95/Sandvich.png/250px-Sandvich.png" alt="" />
Erecting a PainisCupcake
In space with popping diamonds, and rainbows coming out the wazoo
Spy as pyro = pyro:
<img src="http://www.spyrohints.com/images/0-spyro-pose-1.gif" alt="" />
If you hate witty replies, you may want to refrain from posting, because this next comment thread may turn your comments into hilarious, relevant jokes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen, they'll have to invent a new kind of internet to give us, so hang in there.
"We're going to study rage now.
For Science."
Thanks for this submission, i haven't laughed like that in a while :]
I feel more retarded when i play Portal then when i play Pokemon…
Yeah, that was me. Staring and raging for 10 minutes until I realized, "Oh. I was doing this the stupid way."
I think that guy's ready to start a family.
Nice job exposing a paradox man. Here's some other nice examples:
This sentence is false
If you place a pipe through a set of portals on opposite sides of a wall and weld them together, what happens?
New Mission: Don't except this mission
Normally, I'd be mad, but hearing soldier stumble over those simple words was actually pretty entertaining.
Chuck Tespy?
I WILL I WILL EAT EAT YOOOOOUUUUUU
<img src="http://www.deonandan.com/uploaded_images/cat-its-beautiful-757601.jpg">
This is exactly like me playing any Proffesor Layton. Add a "OH SHIT WHY COULDN'T I SEE THAT" after i look up the puzzle's answer on Google.