GODDAMN IT HOW DO I GET THAT CUBE OVER HERE SHIT THAT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS I MUST BE RETARDED

A more accurate title, but they were afraid it might scare off some new players!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on October 25, 2011 · 8:38 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (358 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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Categories:
Cover Art, PC, Portal, Rage Enducing, Robots, Valve Software

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82 Responses to “GODDAMN IT”

  1. Scone527 on October 25th, 2011 8:41 pm

    This is pretty much what I was saying to myself trying to figure out the new puzzles. Except there were more expletives.

    INFINITELY more expletives.

  2. spplmj on October 25th, 2011 8:50 pm

    One of the lab boys has just informed me that people dont know how to pronounce my name due to the lack of vowels, Well I'm happy to inform you that wont be changing. I'm the guy with 118 E-peen I can put whatever letters I want in my name! If you love vowels so much why not take a college english course cause YOU ARE FIRED!

    spplmj Jhnsn were done here.

  3. Red on October 25th, 2011 8:52 pm

    "Oh, what's that friendly-sounding thing"
    *pokes turret*
    Turret: "hello"
    *gunfire*

    [ I forgot the rest :c ]

  4. ProfessorLuigi on October 25th, 2011 8:59 pm

    Science isn't about why, it's about why not.
    Why make tests seem way too hard?
    Why not make a test that is so easy you just have to walk through the door out to the parking lot because YOU ARE FIRED!

  5. Ice_Cold_Water on October 25th, 2011 9:16 pm

    <img src=http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/funny-graphs63.png>

  6. Red on October 25th, 2011 9:17 pm

    saying "apple"
    *jumps*

  7. CriticalQuit on October 25th, 2011 9:35 pm

    A puzzle always looks easier AFTER its been completed.

  8. SolidScientist on October 25th, 2011 9:38 pm

    Alternate Alternate Titles--

    Shit, I missed it, go back and push the button again!

    Alright, I think I've got it figured out. No, wait, that's stupid.

    No, just put a portal on that thing, and then push that thing. No, not that, the other thing.

    Okay, I think we've finally got thi-- FUCKING EMANCIPATION GRIDS!!

  9. Sir_Nox on October 25th, 2011 9:38 pm

    Hey, Sir_Nox here to show you our newest invention, the +1 device, or as I like to call it, E-Peen Erector. This took a lot of work, the lab boys needed to bring in some outside help from this guy:
    <img src="http://i42.tinypic.com/2yys8rr.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic">
    "EE-RECTIN AN E-PEEN"

    Erecting an E-Peen.

    Damn right.

    Sir_Nox out.

  10. sisseltheundeadcat on October 25th, 2011 9:40 pm

    You know this reminds me of something funny that happened to me once

    rel="nofollow">Take a look

  11. DiamyoAlex on October 25th, 2011 9:44 pm

    AKA: Fuck it, I'm looking up the answer…

  12. Alpar on October 25th, 2011 9:51 pm

    Wow, I love this game! Almost as much as "IF YOU STEAL THE STAR I'VE BEEN SLAVING SO HARD FOR, AND IF I HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY ACROSS THIS BOARDMAP TO GET ANOTHER ONE, I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH."

    …alternate title for Mario Party, just btw and fyi.

  13. The_AntiVillain on October 25th, 2011 9:58 pm

    i wonder if cave or caroline have enough money to hire the riddler

  14. Drjolt on October 25th, 2011 10:00 pm

    EVERY FUCKING TIME I PLAYED THIS ON MY PS3! FRUHHHHHHHHHHHH

  15. MC Ninja on October 25th, 2011 10:50 pm
  16. AManWithACloak on October 25th, 2011 11:00 pm

    With me, single player was "… how does this…. OH! DUH. God damn i'm stupid…"
    Multiplayer was "No, dad, over here. OVER HERE. WHERE THE MARKER IS. SHOOT IT. SHOOT THE MARKER."

  17. MasterLuigi452 on October 25th, 2011 11:55 pm

    We are human.
    No one is perfect.

  18. TomQuoVadis on October 26th, 2011 12:25 am

    This could be a lot of fun. "If Video Game titles were honest."

  19. Vabolo on October 26th, 2011 12:32 am

    Don't forget "YES! I have been in first place for two and a half laps, my hard work and practice have finally paid oFUCKING BLUE SHELL POW BLOCK CHAIN CHOMP RED SHELL" and "I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU PICK PIT AND SPAM THAT STUPID SPINNY ATTACK ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHOVE THAT WII-MOTE SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT I CAN ACTUALLY USE YOUR FACE TO PLAY PUNCH-OUT!"

  20. PortalMan118 on October 26th, 2011 1:03 am

    If Portal 2 had this title it would be rated M. No exceptions.

  21. Hazenkain on October 26th, 2011 1:11 am

    I'd rather name it "I accidentally the lazor in my face"

  22. dope92 on October 26th, 2011 1:28 am

    oh i SO would have bought it then. but you know… being poor and all….

  23. LiquidMountain on October 26th, 2011 3:18 am

    Should be rated PEGI 16 for frequent coarse language.

  24. Kamelot on October 26th, 2011 3:44 am

    Me: Dude its right there, just a little to the left.
    Friend: Here? *misses the jump for the fifth time*
    Me: You know what… screw it. *finds repel gel and bounces for 20 minutes*

  25. Randomexplosions on October 26th, 2011 8:27 am

    You must be retarded, with science, you monster.

  26. C__F on October 26th, 2011 9:53 am

    "We're going to study rage now.
    For Science."

  27. ChemicalKirby on October 26th, 2011 11:10 am

    Thanks for this submission, i haven't laughed like that in a while :]
    I feel more retarded when i play Portal then when i play Pokemon…

  28. meinmattias on October 26th, 2011 3:48 pm

    Yeah, that was me. Staring and raging for 10 minutes until I realized, "Oh. I was doing this the stupid way."

  29. Chaos_blasta on November 8th, 2011 1:31 am

    This is exactly like me playing any Proffesor Layton. Add a "OH SHIT WHY COULDN'T I SEE THAT" after i look up the puzzle's answer on Google.

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