Nothing says fair like starting out a new game with your trusty ringer…I mean, best friend!
What’s that Joey, you choose your level 5 Ratatta? PIKACHU USE VOLT TACKLE, THEN FOLLOW UP WITH A HYPER BEAM
By devil_in_drag
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on August 2, 2011 · 1:01 PM
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Categories: Anime, Irony, Nintendo, Pokémon, Scumbag, TV Shows · Leave a comment (139 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Time to also start fresh with color correction contact lenses!
New region! How do I catch a pokemon again?
"Oooooooh, you're my best friend, so I'll dump you off on Professor Oooooaaak! PO-KE-MON!"
Been to 5 different Regions
Still gets ass handed to him repeatably
By the way, I resent being called level 5… I'm in the top percentage of Rattata… I'm level 7!
dont forget a new young female "side kick" that you "respect" and "enjoy the company" of.
Seriously Ash's Pikachu should not faint from gym battle after all those training and leveling up…
But then again Pikachu's Trainer is completely useless, sso I guess it makes some sense, as Pokemon are not able to show any kind of own initiative as long as the Trainer is around, if I were Pikachu I would say "F*ck you Ash!" and defeat my opponents LIKE A BOSS!
If it were RED bringing a Lvl 99. Pikachu, it would be a entirely different thing though.
Well I used to watch the anime. It was this the unova regioon that stopped me watching it. Not only are they trying to say that over 800 episodes later than Ash is still 10 years old, but his pikachu loses in a battle with a guy who just got his starter pokemon. Level 99? I don't think so.
And pickachu is still on par with all the other pokemon :|….
WELP I'd better get rid of all my strong Pokemon that I got from the last region, hahaha! Here Professor Oak, have some more to your collection of forgotten former Poke-partners!
NOPE.avi
Bring back Misty.
Grammar hammer!!!
*repeatedly.
Don't forget his new hat!
<img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3289/2896568627_b93d709ccd.jpg">
also, inb4 tf2 trading hats
Catch 300 Tauros…
…only ever uses one…
…once.
Am I a PokeMon Master yet? I can't tell what I'm doing wrong!
Just one.
Your not hanging around MOUNTAINS.
Destroying their bikes are optional.
the real question is are you a boy or a girl?
Hello, I'm Seto_Kaiba, and I am bringing you a recording found in my step-father's vaults featuring Cave Johnson. Impressively, his recording matches exactly to the poster's question:
*queue Aperture Science music*
"Cave Johnson here.
To answer your question, you use Aperture Science Capture Capsules obviously!
Forget Silph Co. These balls actually work and will never lose effectiveness over time. In fact, our Master Balls are so complex, they actually have a 115% capture rate. The ASCC have a 15% of opening a pair of portals with the capsule and causing a dimension distortion that creates a double of the newly captured monster. Hence, out of 1,000 tests performed by our resident testers, 154 doubled the captured monster.
And if that don't convince ya, I got someone who will!
Gary Oak's voice: I use Aperture brand pokeballs over any other balls in the world. They're the best for rubbing your weak "rival's" nose in the dirt with pokemon!
I'm currently partnering with a Gozaburo Kaiba to expand our branches and not only make our new master balls have an unprecedented 136% capture rate, but turn them into
HIGH GRADE
COMBUSTIBLE
MONSTER
CAPTURE
CAPSULES.
See what I did there? *laughs* Of course you did. Cave Johnson."
I am pleased to announce that Kaiba Corp. will be partnering with the resident AI currently residing in one of the branches to forward this business deal. Why? Because I can.
he gave away a bunch… or "set them free" you should have gotten something for setting a pokemon free in the game at least. there is no benefit from it and no negative consequence for leaving the pokemon in a box for all of eternity!
Alright! A new region! Wait, I forget. Am I a boy or a girl?
I notice there's a lot of meat dishes in the Pokemon Universe.
I notice we never see most of the Pokemon Ash catches ever again.
Gotta forget them all?
And yet, he still insists on riding bikes indoors.
inb4… oh, damnit!
Well, at least Primape gets to keep it this time.
It would be more like that one chapter of the manga, you know, the one where the Arbok got CUT IN HALF!?
SCREW THE GRAMMAR IM A PANDA!
*Eats said Hammer and runs off into the wild*
Thousands of fans = Misty.
Maybe the soldier just took the hat from him in between regions.
What even happens to his other pokemon?!?! They just fuck off, and Ash finds new ones…
And it comes back, red also gets his hands almost destroyed by frost bite the world is almost destroyed a couple times, and yeah the arbok in half is the principal example how cooler the manga is.
EDIT: and is green who cuts the arbok with a scyther
And I never got to read it yet.
well now I have something to read when I wait for season 2 of the Better-than-terrorism series
<img src="http://www.pown.us/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/297.jpg" />
I find it more concerning that the only relationship he can seem to keep between regions is that of a perverted gym leader who excels in breeding.
That Pikachu was way overpowered even when he first got it. I mean, it even took out a Golem using thunderbolt.
THUNDERBOLT.
notice how all the trainers no matter how hot or female always seem to get along great with ash. its because of his single-minded focus of pokemon mastery. women love it when you dont care about them! brock thinks he can use this to get one of them to notice him… so far not so good
also this
<img src="http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/8/87/Brock_open_eyes.png/200px-Brock_open_eyes.png" data-is-apng="no">
failed attempts at hypnotizing girls has left his eyes always closed unless forced open
All the off camera trainers are confused on why he doesn't use a thunderstone on pikachu, some came to the conclusion that Ash is a sadistic bastard child that likes seeing pokemon in pain and therefore refuses to let it evolve.
…Others say he's a noob that doesn't know to apply evolve stones.
Now with a jaggedly painful look! :D
Silly Shawn, everyone knows Pikachu can't use Hyper Beam!
Actually, something that urks me is that even with a Lv.99 Pikachu, Pikachu always loses battles with Ash's current rival. I mean, look at Trip. He just got a Snivy only minutes before he battles Ash, and still beats Pikachu no problem.
He lets a near-Lv.100 Pokemon lose to a freshly picked starter. 3 times.
<img src="http://jasowned.com/images/albums/userpics/10001/normal_son_i_am_disappoint.gif">
Aperture Science: We've got the biggest balls of them all.
Dear god…It's like my mind is forced to play Superman64!
Hermione won that game.
I believe the move he used was "Gameshark".
…You never were around for the first season, were you?
You aren't helping yourself off the endangered species list, bub.
I said off camara trainers, I watched the first season but since the tv show doesn't exist in it's own universe the trainers of other regions wouldn't know why he doesn't evolve it!
What most people overlook is the fact that Ash fixes the battles he enters, and places money on the victory of his opponents. Of course, he sometimes wins big events, such as the Battle Frontier, to keep up his reputation so that people will want to bet on him, and not his opponent, in the first place.
To be fair, he did get an endorsement from Silph Co.
The worst part is: He lost to a Lv 5 Snivy in Unova.
I am not making this up, just because Pikachu lost his electric attacks, but that doesn't remove the fact that he had Iron Tail and I think Quick Attack.
Ash is officially the worst trainer ever.
Let's consider that little nightmare-inducing image payback for when Ash got his Bulbasuar. If I remember the episode correctly, it was because of Ash's determination to catch a Bulbasaur that sent the three over a rickety bridge, which gave way underneath them and sent Brock floating helplessly down the river that was right below them. Ash also caused further embarrassment by discovering the fact that Brock had a huge crush on the woman in charge of the Pokemon health "spa" that they found him at by acting more immature than usual. So, as the saying goes, payback's a bitch.
When did you get facial hair?
Endangered species? I've got the rel="nofollow"> solution
Trains pokemon to be powerful
Release them when he's finish
Tried that… twice.
Doesn't work if your boss has evidence AND a binding contract.
Well you see when a man doesn't shave for a long time…
i remember an episode of pokemon where they zoomed in on brock's eyes and it was just a thick line
i never laughed so hard
true story
But do they glow to indicate weakness? I thought not.
Umbrella: #1 supplier of your classic bioweapon needs
Just you know why O.O rel="nofollow">
(excuse my ignorance, I know directions have been posted on how to make words into links, but I never spent the time to remember how to do so)
…Yes, they eat them. That is exactly what happens. The money invested into Professor Oak's offshore bank account comes from restaurants. Mystery solved, no need to look further into it. I mean, who else would want such powerful creatures?
Also the Day Care isn't hiding any eggs from you, nor should you look into those trucks that come by every now and again. Go back to collecting them all or beating the Elite Four.
Don't forget about Blaine's Rhydon
I've got a better one.
rel="nofollow">
http://cdn.brawlinthefamily.keenspot.com/comics/2…
You little cheater Ash
marry that girl and stop discovering new regions!
Yes I said marry her! I dont care how many years you have, you just need to be 16 in japan!
If they ally with kaiba-boy, they will get poket monsters cards!
…what do you mean they already made them???
Unless… Well…
His eye color has changed
His voice has too
He suddenly leaves behind a lot of things that should be valuable to him
He somehow hasn't aged in all these years
My "friends," I propose the truth of pokemon: Pikachu has been replacing Ash with a double regularly in order to preserve the feeling of traveling with the youth he first met rather than face the reality that time marches on. Using his control of electricity, he is overwriting the brain of the new "Ash." In order to keep this up, Pikachu continually separates "Ash" from his traveling companions (and as part of his twisted M.O., he replaces them with similar ones on their new adventure). The cycle must be broken before another "Ash" is made.
As for why I know this, let's just say I've seen this same thing happen before.
Yeah, didn't work out so well for you either, did it?
By the way, tell King-3 to stop withdrawing from my bank account already.
Dont worry, arbok survived that cut…
I got more worried about those magmars who got frozen AND SHATTERED INTO PIECES!
and the lvl 99 pikachu is with misty…
every season he gets a new, weak pikachu by trading all of his captures of the previous region
and he should be inmune to lightining
Actually, I'd give my soul to have the Scout have Ash's original hat as a hat.
If I had a soul, of course.
Ash doesnt know how to use an elemental stone…
when he tried to use it, he almost shoved it all the way in, and not by pikachu´s mouth…
now when pikachu sees an elemental stone, he starts crying
This is why Red prefers to stay on the same mountain most of the time.
Speaking of which, where is the little bastard today?
Brock left for a while, then "came back" when Pikachu overwrote the brain of one of his many siblings. The real Brock is still the Pewter Gym Leader.
Yeah, you'd think that after saving the world more than once, getting his Pikachu possessed by an Orb, winning impossible battle (Aim for the horn!) and Ash's Strategies actually paying off sometimes (Thunder Armor ACTIVATE!), He wouldn't lose so often.
But regardless, he get's defeated by the likes of Starters, Magikarps, Swoobats (I blame Simple) and other such Pokemon.
But let's be honest: When has ANY anime followed the laws of physics and Leveling?
(Ash has a Snivy with Leaf storm. It has To be at least lv. 45. Watch it not evolve for 30 episodes.)
Don't just start with all new pokemon, let's start with a new protagonist!
please?
I'm fucking tired of Ash. He disgrace's Red's name at this point.
For all intents and purposes people seem to become legal adults in Pokemonland at age 10. Ash lives on his own, is financially self sufficient, and has the pokemon equivalent of a firearm's license. I'd bet money there's nothing in their legal system to prevent him from just getting married today.
So yeah, go for it boy. What's so important in the next region over? You've had your fun and it's time to settle down. Go home and be a family man.
This has been a Colonel William F. Guile presentation.
rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…
Level 99 pikachu and he still has a hard time against the starting gym leaders…
(level 99 vs level 20… it should not be that hard you idiot!)
The Benign Endangered Association of something-beginning-with-R will send a hit on you for your insolence.
<img src="http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110207055738/tekken/en/images/9/97/Ultimate_Kuma.jpg">
He looks like a goddamned cat with those cheek things and sharp, red eyes
Do you know how long it takes to come back down from a mountain when your internet isn't working? No you don't.
You could always murder your boss and say that a bear got to him.
Why does Brock still hang out with him after all this time?
Professor Oak: Well Ash, you've trained your pokemon well. You've allowed Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and all your other pokemon to go on to have fulfilling lives outside of battle. Isn't it about time Pikachu got that chance?
Ash: HELL NO!!!
make Brock your godfather, its almost the only guy who could stand him for more than a year, and invite team rocket to your party, they are good entertainers if you promise them a pass to the buffet… (masters of disguise with a talking pokemon? the soul of every party!)
HOLY SHIT YES
He secured the title of worst trainer ever well before going to Unova.
>"Aw, there's nothing but Spearow here."
>YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT A SPEAROW YET YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
And now I'm depressed D8
Damnit, Sandwich!
Go to new region, get owned by lvl 5 starter.
Ash you cheating bastard! You aren't allowed to migrate pokemon until you beat the elite four once and unlock the place that lets you do it!
Motherfucking Ash Ketchum. >.<
How come I have such loooooooooooooooow rep…
I didn't hurt anyone… This week.
settling down once, in each region….
sounds like a great idea!
IRL soldier? No it can't be he isn't wearing a rediculous hat…
nevermind I think it is fixed…
Wait, I thought Golem was just rock type. Rock types aren't immune to electric. Unless that's a GenV thing. Consult the Book of Armaments!
……
And by that I mean I think somebody should look up the rock/electricity thing and whether or not Golem is part ground type.
I was talking about rhydon ^^"
I was walking down the street to enter a music store, and it just happened. I then proceeded to play the guitar solo from Montana.
Also, both the Geodude/Graveler/Golem and Ryhorn/Rhydon lines are part Ground-type. Ryhorn and Rhydon also possess the Lightningrod ability, which also give them an imunity to Electric-type moves.
<img src="http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/8914/thehaaaaax.jpg" /img>
<img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/halolz-dot-com-teamfortress2-medic-suppository.jpg" /img="">
He was assaulted by two very small Zorros when he was younger.
The game: everything you know. The show: Grounds are hurt by electric based attacks and bubbles and leaves explode… SIGN ME UP!
Wait…why isn't Pikachu level 100 yet?
He's not there in Gen V, i think.
Two words… Volcano Bakemeat
Actually, I think Lockhart won. He forgot almost everything!
(Also, Vabolo, you lose.)
Why is this comment being downvoted? It's just a constatation. There is nothing wrong with it.
Rule of thumb:
- Give plus ones to comments you find amusing, or the top one because you want to feel like your part of the group. You sheep.
- For comments that add nothing to the topic, but aren't harmful in any way, don't change the thumb equilibrium. We accept diverging opinions, and also the fact that not evryone here is either a comnedian or thinks they are by reposting unfunny, unoriginal memes and/or any variations thereof.
-Unless you know what you're doing, don't touch trolls with a ten-foot pole.
Here you go! And you don't even need to sacrifice your nonexistent soul!
It doesn't just make them immune, it redirects all electric attacks to it.
inb4 canonlygainonelevelwiththepokewalker
http://www.mangareader.net/458/pokemon-adventures…
There ya go. Hop to it.
Well, *ahem* in Pikachu's defense, it was in a "weakened" state because Zekrom zapped it with lightening. Nevertheless…WTF.
He's not in this new generation, but he was essentially there all the time to explain details about Pokémon and cook all their meals.
Sent him to get more beer. We alternate most days. Hopefully he won't drink it all by the time he gets back…oh and he's bring back someone to fix his router. It's been on the fritz. As for me, I got my PokéGear with me. INTERNET ALL THE TIME BITCHES!!! WHOOT!!!
*Comedian
Had to do it.
Still has to rely on Brock to cook his meals (or some waiter dude).
From the Word of Falcon, in the Book of Vietnamese Crystal:
ALL GLORY MOTHER VOLCANO BAKEMEAT!
Me too, spiky blue-haired kid. Me too.
As a representative of Pokemon Needs and Affairs, I'm not entirely comfortable with these lines of promotion.
He secured the title shortly before that.
> "Oh gee, I guess I overslept and missed the free Pokemon at Oak's Lab."
> Electrocuted by the only Pokemon left in the lab.
HOLD IT!
The term Motherf***er or Motherf***ing may only be applied to the one and only Gary Motherf***ing Oak! Clearly, you are referring to an entity that does not exist; the laws of nature would not allow the term Motherf***ing to be applied to a lowly lifeform like Ash Ketchum!
Party pooper.
Silly Shawn, Pikachu can't learn Hyper Beam HE'S NOT FULLY EVOLVED. Only Raichu can!
Ah, right. My mistake. It should have read as:
Cheating Bastard Ash Ketchum
Lets not forget a Indigo Plateau Pokemon League hardened Pikachu fainted during a gym match against flying pokemon.
Normal attacks sometimes effect ghost types if it feels like it or not…never miss attacks like Swift and Aerial Ace miss…I'm sure I saw a pokemon use Bite and that exploded one time…oh and Seviper evolves in Arbok.
That would explain it. I was starting to think he'd gotten himself frozen again.
Know what you just lost?
<img src="http://filesmelt.com/dl/hidden_trollface1.png" /img>
It also raises their Special Attack stat if their Ground-type immunity doesn't kick in first (of course, this is only effective in the fifth generation games).
God dammit.
Auto-GRAMMAR HAMMER!
My virginity?
That's what I was talking about.
IM IN UR BRAIN MAEKING YOU LOSE.
OBJECTION!
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=514253…
OVERSIGHT HAMMER!
Forgive me, I just thought it strange you didn't call him out on his mispelling of the word "irk". I would have done it, but it's more your thing, y'know?
Hey pikachu! Come ov- HOLY SHIT A RATTA
Relevant: http://www.halolz.com/2010/11/14/its-all-in-the-e…
what about standing on top of a mountain for three years?
You have not got that piece of paper saying that you got all the pokemon.
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=what+the+fuck+is+t…
im so sorry i dont know how to post the images so thats the oly thing i can do >_<