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And then there will be cake (comic)
When life doesn’t give you cake, GET MAD. Complain to life’s manager!
Make life rue the day it didn’t give Chell and the Companion Cube cake!
By TeaBeforeWar

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And then there will be cake



Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 27, 2011 · 7:14 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (370 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5)
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Categories:
Artistic, Now We're Cookin', Off Duty, Portal, Sequential Art, Tasty Treats, The Great Outdoors, Too Much Free Time, Valve Software

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145 Responses to “And then there will be cake”

  1. DTurboKiller on July 27th, 2011 7:19 pm

    That's not a cake, that's a sandwich. We sell those too.

  2. AdeptIsaac on July 27th, 2011 7:19 pm

    Didn't you hear? The cake is a lie. Always will be. Learn from Mario. He'll tell you ALL about it!

  3. Zabrio on July 27th, 2011 7:19 pm

    did chell just make a cake sandwich o.o?

    DO WANT

  4. Vatonnage on July 27th, 2011 7:20 pm

    Baking's a piece of cake!

  5. RespectfulGlove on July 27th, 2011 7:21 pm

    Crack open a few Egg Chells, bake some of that Wheatley in the mix, add a little Lemon Cherry on top, and bam, you get a Companion Crepe!

    …Fine, someone point me to the nearest corner in the wheat field.

  6. TigerTylar on July 27th, 2011 7:28 pm

    hah this is awesome, i've always wondered what Chell would do in a giant wheat field…

  7. razorman715 on July 27th, 2011 7:29 pm

    Hell, i'd still eat that.

  8. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 7:29 pm

    <img src="http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/3282/cakeob.png&quot; alt="some_text"/>
    See kids, Minecraft does teach you things. Way to prove 'em, girl.

  9. RemielChibus on July 27th, 2011 7:31 pm

    Here at Aperture Science, our subjects learn important life skills from their experience on the cutting edge of science! Improvisation! Enthusiasm! How to acquire suspect materials like that red pasty stuff! You don't wanna know where that's been.

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.

  10. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 7:31 pm

    First, you gotta take a cup of flour and add it to the mix.

  11. TheTopHatKid on July 27th, 2011 7:34 pm

    I made one of those once, Chocolate cake and peanut butter, with some caramel coconut frosting. http://s1108.photobucket.com/albums/h417/Brian_Ca…

  12. Shawn Handyside on July 27th, 2011 7:35 pm

    Crack crack crack the egg into the bowl…

  13. TheAl41 on July 27th, 2011 7:41 pm

    <img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Y8u09A7q7DU/S-HbK2advEI/AAAAAAAAFGs/cug81STJaoA/s1600/1._march_of_progress.jpg"&gt;

  14. Ice_Cold_Water on July 27th, 2011 7:43 pm

    Mmmm, this cake sure does look delicious! … (taste)
    <img src=http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x399/tmotom/FUUUUUUUU.gif>

  15. TheAl41 on July 27th, 2011 7:45 pm

    <img src="http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg38/whitehendrix00/gifs/CloseEnough.png"&gt;

  16. Ice_Cold_Water on July 27th, 2011 7:46 pm

    Stay safe.
    <img src=http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x399/tmotom/gameboy.jpg>
    Ohh! I know what you mean now… the cake… whoops… but still, stay safe…

  17. tveye on July 27th, 2011 7:46 pm

    M-I-X the flour into the bowl!

  18. tveye on July 27th, 2011 7:49 pm

    What's that in the fourth panel…a b-BIRD! BIRD! GET IT AWAY!

  19. Ovahdrive on July 27th, 2011 7:50 pm

    Meat cake?

  20. Gearheadmk2 on July 27th, 2011 7:53 pm

    RAGECEPTION

  21. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 7:53 pm

    Cave Johnson here.

    Fact: You're reading this in my voice. Stop doing that or I'll have your ass fired.

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.

  22. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 7:57 pm

    The third guy from the right:
    <img src="http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/3/33848/1837974-mr_foster_large.jpg&quot; alt="some_text"/>
    Money, money, money….

  23. BlurrySandwich on July 27th, 2011 7:58 pm

    This is like the shows "Survivor" and "Cake Boss" combined.

    I shall call it… THE CAKE BOSS SURVIVOR… (the companion cube is the cake boss)

  24. BTSnoogans on July 27th, 2011 7:58 pm

    Mmmm… Cakes and sandwiches. Two of my favorite things. Dare I mix them? *tries it* OOOOooooohhhh… I shouldn't have done that.

  25. Henry_Wong on July 27th, 2011 7:59 pm

    <img src=http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/12/11/16a77e1f-4b13-4206-9199-2b41a56d7ac8.jpg>

  26. Lord_Science on July 27th, 2011 8:00 pm

    *munch* *munch* you musht bhe do en wrongh *munch* *munch*

  27. BlurrySandwich on July 27th, 2011 8:01 pm

    in addition…

    <img src="http://robhasawebsite.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/110429-cakewalk.jpg"&gt;

  28. Lord_Science on July 27th, 2011 8:02 pm

    I believe that CAKE is MINE

    off to the corner I go…..

  29. Lord_Science on July 27th, 2011 8:02 pm

    better than what i would've called it

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--CEPTION

  30. TopRattata on July 27th, 2011 8:05 pm

    I'm eating lemon cake right now! :D

  31. vash_ts on July 27th, 2011 8:05 pm

    also, for a little extra we switch a letter and you got your very own sandvich!

  32. Lord_Science on July 27th, 2011 8:05 pm

    You forgot to add space. Can't have cake without the space. And deadly neuro-toxin.

  33. GameboyPATH on July 27th, 2011 8:05 pm

    Butter butter butter joins the bowl…

  34. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 8:10 pm

    Do the Mario.

  35. TCC on July 27th, 2011 8:11 pm

    Take about five dozen eggs, start puttin' em in a bowl. Mix the FUCK out of em, and what do you get?

    ….

    eggs…. all you added was eggs…. it's still just eggs… ._.

  36. CriticalQuit on July 27th, 2011 8:13 pm

    Thank goodness for minecraft cooking physics!

  37. Zabrio on July 27th, 2011 8:20 pm

    :O

  38. Zabrio on July 27th, 2011 8:20 pm

    I always feel like your avi is going to rape me ;-;

  39. greenxboy on July 27th, 2011 8:26 pm

    Everytime i think about the portal 2 ending i always wonder if being outside is a good think for her.

  40. C__F on July 27th, 2011 8:28 pm

    The difference between Chell and most people?

    Most people would search for civilization.
    Chell makes that cake she was due.

    <img src="http://i838.photobucket.com/albums/zz304/Tau_Rho_lambda/Cakepsuedomotivational.jpg&quot; /img>

  41. Ice_Cold_Water on July 27th, 2011 8:31 pm

    Donkey Schlong

  42. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 8:33 pm

    Fuck Cunt.
    Fuck Hunt.
    Duck Cunt.

    Something for everyone.

  43. PortalMan118 on July 27th, 2011 8:35 pm

    I'm more of a pie person

    OMG WHY AM I GETTING ATTACKED!!!???

  44. ibbolia on July 27th, 2011 8:51 pm

    Cave Johnson here. Not sure who these other two are, but they say they're me so I'll just have to assume that Aperture Science has perfected the art of cloning. Lab boys, go get my lemons!

  45. ibbolia on July 27th, 2011 8:53 pm

    It practically bakes itself!

  46. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 9:05 pm

    Cave Johnson here.

    We don't sell tic-tacs for chrissake, we sell cigarettes. Made of Science. Now stop banging your fucking brains against your desk and GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN.

    Cave Johnson, we're Farmers. Ba da dum dum et cetera.

  47. TheInsaneWombat on July 27th, 2011 9:06 pm

    I call bullshit. That is clearly a pie.

  48. Montablac on July 27th, 2011 9:28 pm

    that cake is a pie! watch,itll turn red any second now….

  49. Sceptilianblade on July 27th, 2011 9:29 pm

    Then, you need to take a little something sweet, not sour. Also add a bit of salt, but just a pinch.

  50. Montablac on July 27th, 2011 9:30 pm

    thanks for saving us chell,but our cake is in another testing facility!

  51. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 9:31 pm

    You should have listened to the messages, Chell.
    <img src="http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u4/argosy-07/lie.jpg&quot; border="0" the cake is a lie Pictures, Images and Photos"/>
    Even Leonidas is with the program.

  52. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 9:33 pm

    … and this one is just for the LULZ.
    <img src="http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y295/Bucket_Boy/guns.jpg&quot; border="0" Cake is a lie Pictures, Images and Photos"/>

  53. Kam_Fakami on July 27th, 2011 9:33 pm

    Cave Johnson here.

    It seems that our Time Portal Device has worked. And previous Cave Johnson, we made our own Spiderman.

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.

  54. Rain on July 27th, 2011 9:33 pm

    Uh, wait a minute, where did Chell get that red filling for her sandwich cake?

    According to the comic, she took a bunch of wheat from the wheat field, an egg from a crow's nest, and something from the cow. (other than milk)

  55. TheArrived on July 27th, 2011 9:34 pm

    Damn, beat me to it

    uhhh….*insert witty comment about cakes*

  56. Azurik on July 27th, 2011 9:43 pm

    I didn't lul.

  57. Azurik on July 27th, 2011 9:44 pm

    +1 for doubling my current headache. :-/

  58. Omnomynous on July 27th, 2011 9:53 pm

    ANTI GRAMMER HAMMER!

    Try "Sandvich." Trust me, it's better.

  59. Skrist on July 27th, 2011 9:53 pm

    Cake you say? rel="nofollow">

  60. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 9:55 pm

    SON I AM DISAPPOINT.

  61. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 9:56 pm

    I'M THE MAN THAT'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!

  62. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 9:57 pm

    Remember, you'll also need to acquire some eggs, preferably of the Chicken variety.

  63. Doctor Rover on July 27th, 2011 9:58 pm

    Wait a minute here, that's a bull!

    Not a cow, How does she get mil-

    oh my…

  64. Redzeroine on July 27th, 2011 10:03 pm

    Lets be honest, it probably tastes better than volcano bakemeat

  65. vash_ts on July 27th, 2011 10:03 pm

    I didn´t get that hammer…
    Did you just Hammered my just bought, letter switched Sandvich??

  66. MasterLuigi452 on July 27th, 2011 10:11 pm

    I'm sorry, but I cannot make any witty comments for this awesome comic due to busily laughing on the floor.

  67. Shawn Handyside on July 27th, 2011 10:11 pm

    Ours was better!
    <img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/halolz-dot-com-joseph-ducreux-portal-thedeliciousspongypastry.jpg"&gt;

  68. Seanhl on July 27th, 2011 10:18 pm

    I dunno, for really big cakes I find ostrich eggs work best

  69. Jerach on July 27th, 2011 10:24 pm

    I think most people are playing Fuck Hunt.

  70. Geek 2.0 on July 27th, 2011 10:26 pm

    Well if you mix the FUCK out of em, them you probably have egg soup

  71. imnutty on July 27th, 2011 10:29 pm

    <img src="http://www.gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Discussions-Components-Files/153/0576.DrHax.jpg"&gt;

  72. Artakha on July 27th, 2011 10:32 pm

    Well, this isn't going to be a big cake. Now, you will also seek to acquire flavored paste, preferably sweetened Vanilla or Chocolate.

  73. Jimmy on July 27th, 2011 10:37 pm

    rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…

    Take about five dozen eggs…

  74. Ice_Cold_Water on July 27th, 2011 10:39 pm

    +1 for drinking a glass of Ice_Cold_Water to soothe that throbbing pain!
    <img src=http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x399/tmotom/ice-cold-water.png>
    Another +1 for hilarious dry humor! Ahahahaha!

  75. Jimmy on July 27th, 2011 10:42 pm

    Cupecakes…little WHITE lies

  76. Pioneer1 on July 27th, 2011 10:42 pm

    So I WASN'T the only one to see this
    she also made a furnace

    also, why did it say that there was only one reply when I see two others?

    and, this may be the only time i ever get to post this, so rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">…

  77. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on July 27th, 2011 10:50 pm

    You win Minecraft.

  78. Gary_Blue on July 27th, 2011 10:50 pm

    Step 1: Right-Click
    Step 2: Repeat
    Step 3: ???
    Step 4: Profit!

  79. SirNumel on July 27th, 2011 10:51 pm

    Dry humor? How can jokes about water and ice be dry?

  80. SirNumel on July 27th, 2011 10:53 pm

    True, she is just outside of Cleveland.

  81. SirNumel on July 27th, 2011 10:55 pm

    Nothing tastes better than volcano bakemeat. All glory to the volcano bakemeat.

  82. Pioneer1 on July 27th, 2011 10:58 pm

    rel="nofollow">relevant

  83. Sceptilianblade on July 27th, 2011 11:01 pm

    That's… uh… that's kinda what (I think) Paulrus and I were getting at.

  84. TheInsaneWombat on July 27th, 2011 11:04 pm

    Shawn how is your e-peen less than 100? I'd have figured it to be around 9,001.

    (I bet you saw what I did there.)

  85. Th3l4st0ne on July 27th, 2011 11:07 pm

    O god, you had to make me remember this shit again?

    Because you don't get eggs at the end…

  86. TCC on July 27th, 2011 11:45 pm

    "You are the farthest ever in Minecraft." "why me Minecraft?" "Because you are the best." "I'm the best at Minecraft?!"

  87. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 11:50 pm

    Cave Johnson here.

    Fact: I invented a machine…. or actually I took credit and trademarked a machine that creates portals through time. I'm not totally certain how far in time it goes, but the lab boys are certain that in the case that I choose to go over there and fight myself to the death, time itself will most likely collapse.

    But TO HELL WITH THEM. I'm Cave Johnson! I run this show! So if I want the show to include me fighting myself to the death with sharp objects, you bet your ass I'm gonna want to show it! With showgirls! LOTS OF SHOWGIRLS. No offense, Caroline. You're still my number one. But DAMN those Vegas girls have great knockers.

    Where was I. Oh right…… hey, the other me brought a gun! That's not fa-(BANG) (slump)

    Remember, don't bring a knife to a knife fight. Bring a 9mm.

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.

  88. Lynxeh on July 27th, 2011 11:59 pm

    A: That’s a bull

    B: There is no sugar

    WORST CAKE EVER

  89. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 27th, 2011 11:59 pm

    Yet Artakha didn't continue it correctly.

    That poor unponyfied savage.

  90. Pioneer1 on July 28th, 2011 12:07 am

    yes, but I felt like posting the music so that others could be properly educated

  91. Kam_Fakami on July 28th, 2011 12:12 am

    Actually, it used to be.

    Then the Courage Kratos massacre of '11 happened.

  92. MEGAMAXX5 on July 28th, 2011 12:22 am

    PENIIIIIIIIS

  93. Henry_Wong on July 28th, 2011 12:38 am

    oh shawn

  94. tinynewtman on July 28th, 2011 1:00 am

    Now she just needs some sugar. Where can we find that…
    Dissect the cherries?

  95. tinynewtman on July 28th, 2011 1:03 am

    Those pesky Bean-counters, who say we shouldn't fire people one minute (stupid "disability regulations"), then complain about overbudget purchase of moon rocks. Who cares, they can all keep their conversion gel diet for the rest of their lives.
    Me? I'm going to find Life's house. He's had too long with those lemons, and it's this thorn's turn to take him down.

  96. Shatman on July 28th, 2011 2:02 am

    Last panel:

    <img src="http://boxothoughts.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/nixon19744.jpg"&gt;

    I AM NOT A CROOK.

  97. Zyquux on July 28th, 2011 2:02 am

    Okay, I'll add the obligatory next lines:

    Baking these treats is such a cinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla.

  98. Zyquux on July 28th, 2011 2:10 am

    Reminds me of rel="nofollow">this.

  99. GameboyPATH on July 28th, 2011 2:25 am

    Come on guys, don't -1 the guy for being correct. >:I Let's be civiliz-holy shit, that's a low e-peen!

  100. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 28th, 2011 2:27 am

    Guess she'll just have to go somewhere and borrow a cup.
    Like back down to Aperture Labs.

    …sounds like we got a plot for Portal Thr-*door opens again, throwing out a bag of sugar*
    Ah. Thanks, GlaDOS.
    GlaDOS: Want. You. GONE.

  101. WestheAwesome on July 28th, 2011 2:42 am

    At least it's not a lie

  102. Combatbeaver on July 28th, 2011 2:47 am

    but then we would've made CUPCAKES and not cake…

  103. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 28th, 2011 3:02 am

    Details.

  104. Rain on July 28th, 2011 6:12 am

    Apparently not ever horned cattle is a bull and not every hornless cattle is a cow.

  105. tstriker1 on July 28th, 2011 6:16 am

    Damn, I was gonna make that joke, but you beat me to it. I the minecraft joke funny and original. Also, notice how she took 8 cobblestones to build a furnace.

  106. HughbertEsq on July 28th, 2011 8:06 am

    All you gotta is take a cup of flour
    Add it to the mix!….

  107. Combatbeaver on July 28th, 2011 8:15 am

    The cupcake is a lie
    The cupcake is a lie
    The cupcake is a lie…

  108. Lord_Science on July 28th, 2011 8:17 am

    creeper: "nope.boom"

  109. Lord_Science on July 28th, 2011 8:22 am

    Freeman disagrees, bring a crowbar

  110. Hatmor on July 28th, 2011 8:55 am

    Let them eat cake, you monster…

  111. Hatmor on July 28th, 2011 9:15 am

    What….
    I don't think she even…..
    The hell does she…

    Also
    RELEVANT

  112. KZN02 on July 28th, 2011 9:41 am

    Let her eat cake.

  113. sailoryue on July 28th, 2011 10:46 am

    guys, thats a steer. steers have udders and therefor make milk. not all cows that make milk are female.

  114. MasqueNoMercy on July 28th, 2011 11:03 am

    yeah for once yelling out PENIS! in a comments section is completely appropriate on halolz

  115. Dimomarg on July 28th, 2011 11:05 am

    Now you're thinking with furnaces.

  116. Shatman on July 28th, 2011 11:05 am

    Yeah, this isn't as funny as it was for me to write it at 2am. Sorry for cluttering up the comments, folks.

  117. Jimmy on July 28th, 2011 11:22 am

    You're questioning the filling and cherry too right? Yeah, my mind is stumped.

  118. Ice_Cold_Water on July 28th, 2011 11:30 am

    With… Dry ice! Ahahahaha!

  119. penguindude42 on July 28th, 2011 12:30 pm

    BIRDS!

  120. penguindude42 on July 28th, 2011 12:35 pm

    HELLO CLEVELAND!

  121. penguindude42 on July 28th, 2011 12:40 pm

    DOSH!

  122. ibbolia on July 28th, 2011 1:12 pm

    Cave Johnson here.
    I checked with the lab boys, and they say a crowbar is not in fact a knife, so it's perfectly safe to bring to a gunfight. Wait… that's the guy from Black Mesa. Security! You're all fired!

    Cave Johnson. We're done here.

  123. TheAl41 on July 28th, 2011 1:41 pm

    <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CxQfH2bP4xA/RijZTQDogAI/AAAAAAAAB_U/nuoUgy6tejU/s320/timbaland+give+it+to+me.jpg"&gt;

  124. TheAl41 on July 28th, 2011 1:42 pm

    <img src="http://www.buzzhunt.co.uk/wp-content/2009/03/angry-birds.jpg"&gt;

  125. TheAl41 on July 28th, 2011 1:53 pm

    IRRELEVANCE DETECTED!!!

  126. TheAl41 on July 28th, 2011 1:54 pm

    <img src="http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/31/128830272123908088.jpg"&gt;

  127. bc524 on July 28th, 2011 2:17 pm

    Now just take a little something sweet, not sour,
    A bit of Salt just a pinch

  128. TheInsaneWombat on July 28th, 2011 2:20 pm

    It might have been funnier as "I am not a cook!"

    If Chell had a look of diappointment in the last panel.

  129. TheInsaneWombat on July 28th, 2011 2:26 pm

    Wait, is he trying to eat the gun or is he going to shoot himself over the stupidity?

  130. Geary on July 28th, 2011 4:36 pm

    Berries

  131. Geary on July 28th, 2011 4:48 pm

    FUN TIMES IN CLEVELAND AGAIN! (Still Cleveland!)

  132. Geary on July 28th, 2011 5:11 pm

    Half correct. Horns on cows are decided by the 'Polled' trait. A cow having the polled trait has no horns, while one who doesn't has horns. Gender is independent of this trait, therefor you cannot visibly tell the difference between a steer and a cow by the presence or absence of horns. /rant

  133. Hejiru on July 28th, 2011 5:35 pm

    Hey GLaDOS, have you heard? A mass awareness of a certain ornithological piece?

  134. PortalMan118 on July 28th, 2011 5:40 pm

    NOW YOUR SENDING BIRDS AGANST ME!!!??

    DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!

  135. Artakha on July 28th, 2011 5:45 pm

    Either one works.

  136. Artakha on July 28th, 2011 5:48 pm

    Paulrus, you ass.

  137. Ice_Cold_Water on July 28th, 2011 6:19 pm

    Ohh yeah!!! Shit just got REAL!!!

  138. Ice_Cold_Water on July 28th, 2011 6:20 pm

    hmm…
    <img src=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uMnxXVwePrU/TgDH0QbR3qI/AAAAAAAAAKg/dSZB6ld6G68/s1600/epic-meal-time-use-more-bacon.jpg>

  139. SirNumel on July 29th, 2011 12:13 am

    D'oh! I really set myself up for that one.

  140. GazzyW007 on July 29th, 2011 6:20 am

    And rubarb?? *Eager face*

  141. HughbertEsq on July 29th, 2011 10:28 am

    See? Red!
    Oh wait thats jam

  142. Ice_Cold_Water on July 29th, 2011 11:27 am

    hmmm…
    >.>
    <.<
    PEEENIIIISSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

  143. A_R_ on July 29th, 2011 5:05 pm

    And what you get?
    MIIINUUUUUUUS!

  144. AManWithACloak on August 1st, 2011 1:56 pm

    It's a good thing she listened to Fact Core.

  145. TheAl41 on August 2nd, 2011 9:17 pm

    or rel="nofollow">I AM NOT A WHORE?

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