GARY OAK: PROFESSIONAL MOTHA F***A

Even when he’s a total douche, you can’t stay mad at Gary when his Eevee is so adorable!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 30, 2011 · 11:54 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (476 votes, average: 4.76 out of 5)
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Adult Situations, Anime, Artistic, Chillaxin', Nintendo, Obnoxious, Party Time, Pokémon, Strike A Pose

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304 Responses to “GARY OAK: PROFESSIONAL MOTHAF***A”

  1. oddball250 on May 30th, 2011 11:56 am

    That is one smooth motherfucker

  2. WizardRex on May 30th, 2011 12:01 pm

    No less than four girls are unable to ignore his girth.

    Damn.

  3. spplmj on May 30th, 2011 12:07 pm

    <img src="http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/9/2011/05/e8bf5af1e5461fbf2f8ab0b46948dd8f/340x.jpg&quot; alt="" width="330" height="186">

    Oshawott can't ignore his girth either.

    ——-

    SHAWN! T-SHIRT! NAOW!!!!!

  4. DarthShadow91 on May 30th, 2011 12:10 pm
  5. seanhl on May 30th, 2011 12:11 pm

    Let's see, no shirt, brown pants, surrounded by girls dressed like they have extreme daddy issues, messed up hair and sunglasses DESPITE being indoors. It's official, he's a complete douchebag. Someone get that poor eevee out before it's emotionally scarred.

  6. ChemicalKirby on May 30th, 2011 12:12 pm

    Only four women? Whoever drew this doesn't know Gary Oak.

  7. HughbertEsq on May 30th, 2011 12:14 pm

    Its too late… it already has the :3 permanently endowed on its face…

  8. KitchwaTembo on May 30th, 2011 12:16 pm

    Is this an album cover? It should be.

  9. HughbertEsq on May 30th, 2011 12:18 pm

    Ludicrous levels of narcissism is located in this post, time to set it straight
    *HEAVY-DUTY REALITY CANNON ONLINE*
    Prepare to fire on my mark…
    And set up the OFC as a backup, just in case these Douche-levels are as high as I'm reading…

  10. Redzeroine on May 30th, 2011 12:19 pm

    His skills are obviously inherited from his Mother-Pimping Grandfather, Prof. Oak.

  11. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 12:30 pm

    <img src=http://meanwhilepics.com/images/meanwhile/Meanwhile_In_Ireland.jpg>

  12. Leo E. on May 30th, 2011 12:31 pm

    Kris can ignore his girth.

  13. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 12:32 pm

    I think that that might just be a tatoo.

  14. Vatonnage on May 30th, 2011 12:35 pm

    Is it bad if the first thing I noticed was how adorable that Eevee looked?

  15. Nikolaj on May 30th, 2011 12:41 pm

    Isn’t it obvious to all of you now? Gary motherf***ing Oak is over 9000 cooler than Ash Catchum. Ash has only one girl, and he doesn’t even try anything.

  16. Wetmang on May 30th, 2011 12:51 pm

    <img src=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_0YTZJpJ8Jp8/TBfm-w8LAiI/AAAAAAAAF9c/62iWlNjMnJ4/s1600/giantjesus.jpg>

    Mutha Fuckin Touchdown!

  17. seanhl on May 30th, 2011 12:52 pm

    poor bastard, time to put it out of its misery

  18. therandombear on May 30th, 2011 12:58 pm

    clearly, he had many more in his badass car.

    Should be atleast *insert high number* girls surrounding Gary Motherfucking Oak.

  19. smashpro1 on May 30th, 2011 12:58 pm

    Gary motherfucking Oak always rolls eight-deep, at least.

  20. Paulrus-Keaton? on May 30th, 2011 1:00 pm
  21. MorningMoon on May 30th, 2011 1:31 pm
  22. MorningMoon on May 30th, 2011 1:33 pm

    Every time Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak gets 10 new chicks GameFreak makes a new Eeveevolution.

  23. Kn0w1d3a on May 30th, 2011 1:43 pm

    GARY IS THE SPY!

  24. Alpar on May 30th, 2011 1:48 pm

    *cannot

  25. Alpar on May 30th, 2011 1:49 pm

    Not even Eevee can ignore his girth.. oh why…

  26. GengarKing on May 30th, 2011 1:50 pm

    Gary Fucking Oak was sent out!
    His Harem's Anticipation made them shudder!

  27. AdeptIsaac on May 30th, 2011 1:57 pm

    Gary Motherfucking Oak sure knows how to have himself a sexy party!

    Of course, having Eevee there makes it a little weird.

  28. Caelun_Niveus on May 30th, 2011 2:14 pm

    These are only his keepers. The rest were already sent home.

  29. Caelun_Niveus on May 30th, 2011 2:14 pm

    *Can. She isn't in the pic after all.

  30. ThetaBetaSigma on May 30th, 2011 2:19 pm

    SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
    Oddball250: I'm just talking about Gary!
    Then we can dig it!

  31. KZN02 on May 30th, 2011 2:21 pm

    Unless people say Lyra is Kris. Is this Pokemon Special?

  32. KZN02 on May 30th, 2011 2:22 pm

    Is the Eevee female too?

  33. KZN02 on May 30th, 2011 2:23 pm

    How old are they? This could have serious jail bait implications.

  34. Ataeru on May 30th, 2011 2:35 pm

    This
    I know a lot of people that will buy that instantly.

  35. Red_Zero on May 30th, 2011 2:36 pm

    You find your house open when you come back from work, with a great mess everywhere, and who's on your couch touching your girlfriend and her friends, while an eevee makes a :3 face?
    GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK

  36. C__F on May 30th, 2011 2:41 pm

    Well, Gary's a minor, too. Just stating that for the record.

  37. Inky Blue on May 30th, 2011 2:44 pm

    This actually looks like a cover for a magazine, so… I asume that PROFESSIONAL MOTHERF***A magizine is popular in any populice that Mr. Oak has visited, they all feature him

  38. ARC_1300 on May 30th, 2011 2:44 pm

    U MAD?

  39. C__F on May 30th, 2011 2:55 pm

    Let's face it: we all know you can never live up to Gary Oak. He's as real as it gets. So buy this T-Shirt instead. That way, other people can know that they'll never live up to him. It's the best thing since those little foam packing squiggly-things. Hey, what do they call those anyway?

    Cave Johnson, we're done here.

  40. Leo E. on May 30th, 2011 2:57 pm

    LIES! ALL LIES!

  41. ThetaBetaSigma on May 30th, 2011 3:02 pm

    Ash:(Trying to be cool) Hey Gary, how that whole Pokemon Champ thing going- oh wait, I kicked your ass five minutes after you got the job. OOOOOOOOOOOOO-
    Gary: I *eff!*d your mom
    Ash: -- oh. D:
    Gary: DEAL WITH IT.

  42. k3man on May 30th, 2011 3:04 pm

    Gary Oak is about to raise the bar on the common "professional standards" to the point where not having an Eevee is very unprofessional.

  43. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 3:10 pm

    In fact, the law states that it is only illegal if one of the two or more "participating parties" disagrees, or if only one is a minor. If they are both minors, it is legal.

  44. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 3:10 pm

    Packing Peanuts. You're welcome.

  45. Alpar on May 30th, 2011 3:10 pm

    Nice to know you disagree with both me and Cael then =P

  46. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 3:12 pm

    <img src=http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/047/234/small/meanwhile_in_finland.jpg?1272024226>

  47. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 3:13 pm

    Is that…

  48. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 3:14 pm

    Yes. Yes it is.

  49. Leo E. on May 30th, 2011 3:25 pm

    I don't know what's going on here, but Lyra is a failed attempt at remaking Kris.

    And Kris has ignored Gary Oak's girth.

  50. Trainer_Black on May 30th, 2011 3:57 pm

    You can't fit all of Gary Oak's concubines onto one t-shirt, you'd have to buy a t-shirt for every day of the week.

  51. Caelun_Niveus on May 30th, 2011 3:57 pm
  52. Dimomarg on May 30th, 2011 4:17 pm

    There are not 4 girls in this image. Do you seriously think that sofa is really a sofa?

  53. Dimomarg on May 30th, 2011 4:18 pm

    they slowed down on gen 2. Now it's 50.

  54. Aboithagameboi on May 30th, 2011 4:20 pm

    Ash: At least I have a mom to *eff*!

  55. TheAl41 on May 30th, 2011 4:27 pm

    WHY ISNT THERE A "GARY OAK" TAG ALREADY!!???!?!??!?!

  56. Xifihas on May 30th, 2011 4:29 pm

    Agh, no! That sounded wrong!

  57. oddball250 on May 30th, 2011 4:57 pm

    you got the joke

  58. dope92 on May 30th, 2011 5:28 pm

    I RIDE AROUND WITH MAH GIRLS MUTHAFUCKAH!

  59. Gearheadmk2 on May 30th, 2011 5:35 pm

    Gary and the Black Baron should get together sometime, share their tips on being awesome.

  60. SirNumel on May 30th, 2011 5:47 pm

    As far as United States law goes, that's actually dependent on the state you're in. Most have this law or something similar, but a few have a practically "no tolerance" law.

  61. Alpar on May 30th, 2011 5:49 pm

    Oh, derp. Nevermind it then. We've all been used to the fact Lyra replaced Kris so I kinda forgot they were different p-

    NOBODY KILL ME FOR THIS, PLEASE, I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING GEN 2 RELATED IN FOREVER.

  62. razorman715 on May 30th, 2011 6:03 pm

    The rest are in his pants.

  63. BTSnoogans on May 30th, 2011 6:10 pm

    It is if you pray to Gary Oak like I do. Not noticing Mr. Oak first? He might just have to smite you with his holy wrath.

  64. CriticalQuit on May 30th, 2011 6:14 pm

    Gary Oak: Troll of the century.

    Unfortunately, not the original troll. That title goes to Jonathan Swift.

  65. brawlfan1 on May 30th, 2011 6:21 pm

    This is Kanto, the place where the moment you turn 10, you get tossed out the door into the wild with a small animal, our laws are nothing in the land of Pokémon.

  66. KujataSP on May 30th, 2011 6:22 pm

    All right this is bugging me… from left to right it looks like May, Dawn, ?? and Lyra… who the heck is that third girl? >_<

  67. Kn0w1d3a on May 30th, 2011 6:26 pm

    MOTHERFUCKING*

  68. Zyquux on May 30th, 2011 6:31 pm
  69. Zyquux on May 30th, 2011 6:32 pm

    Don't you mean OVER 9000?!?!

  70. Zyquux on May 30th, 2011 6:33 pm

    They're the only ones that can "keep up" with him? *Wink wink, nudge nudge*

  71. TehVortex on May 30th, 2011 6:35 pm

    That, or his business card. I personally want it on my front door.

  72. TehVortex on May 30th, 2011 6:37 pm

    You can't blame him. Owning a sports car at 10 kind of does that to you.

  73. TehVortex on May 30th, 2011 6:38 pm

    What people don't realise is that they're already pregnant.

  74. TehVortex on May 30th, 2011 6:38 pm

    **U JELLY?

  75. Zyquux on May 30th, 2011 6:38 pm

    Gary MOTHERF***ING Oak's Standards:
    1. Be Polite
    2. Be "Efficient"
    3. Have a plan to sleep with every girl you meet.

  76. Zyquux on May 30th, 2011 6:39 pm

    But Ditto is genderless! D:

  77. TehVortex on May 30th, 2011 6:40 pm

    Don't worry, it's Japan.

  78. tmotom on May 30th, 2011 6:47 pm

    <img src=http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x399/tmotom/trol.png?t=1306795608>

  79. Th3l4st0ne on May 30th, 2011 7:10 pm

    Prof Oak: Less time with you means more time with your mother!

    Sincerelly, Le Spy.

  80. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:15 pm

    I though you were reformed. Are you, or aren't you?

  81. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:16 pm

    That was the point I was trying to push. I forgot to mention that it was a state deal. Thanks for sealing the gaps.

  82. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:17 pm

    How do you know? Have you ever seen them in action?

  83. TheAl41 on May 30th, 2011 7:17 pm

    AND A OBJECTION FOR YOUR STATEMENT SIR!
    WHAT PROOF YOU GOT ON EEVEE BEING A GIRL?!?!?!

  84. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:20 pm

    Meanwhile, at…
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

  85. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:21 pm

    Cheezburger, my ass!

  86. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:23 pm

    Oh really? The Gen IV remakes are related to Gen II.
    *ch-ch*

  87. Not_anon on May 30th, 2011 7:23 pm

    Meanwhile at Valve

    Dear god after spending so much time on this site I hope I finally got this right.

  88. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:24 pm

    (__0__)____(__0__)

  89. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:24 pm

    Is that what I think it is? Is that Moltres?

  90. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:27 pm

    It's not an addiction, it's a lifestyle! Well the difference being that you have to work to quit an addiction, and you never quit a lifestyle!

  91. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 7:28 pm

    Nah, the Eevee is only there to distract the girls from his girth just long enough for him to reload.

  92. oreopizza47 on May 30th, 2011 7:54 pm

    Alright, what in the name of God is happening? I thought Gary and Ash were ten for Christ's sake!

  93. CriticalQuit on May 30th, 2011 8:29 pm

    What? No one here read The Modest Proposal? He was easily the most awesome man in 17th century Britain!

  94. Uzumakiclan43 on May 30th, 2011 8:36 pm

    Yet, all the while, that poor Squirtle he had back in Red/Green/Blue got kicked out of his entourage because of that irresistible urge to resist Gary Oak's girth…

  95. Red on May 30th, 2011 8:41 pm

    No, they're just mine. On loan. For one picture… PAY UP GARY, OR DO I HAVE TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOUR GRANDPA COMES AGAIN!?!?

  96. Red on May 30th, 2011 8:41 pm

    *finishes beating Gary with a level 1 magikarp*
    who's laughing now!

    (also: screw the elite four, I has mountains)

  97. Rocker23220 on May 30th, 2011 8:42 pm

    Nope.avi

  98. Red on May 30th, 2011 8:42 pm

    he's got a fake id, how else does he drive?
    unless…
    Oh My Mountain!
    Gary is the kid driving the car in "Friday"!!!

  99. Rocker23220 on May 30th, 2011 8:43 pm

    Moltres IRL…..ftw?

  100. Red on May 30th, 2011 8:44 pm

    Look up, now back

    The sofa is now a girl!

  101. tmotom on May 30th, 2011 8:56 pm

    uhh… >.>

  102. Solid_Spy on May 30th, 2011 8:58 pm

    OBVIOUSLY there are at least 20+ girls behind the couch he's sitting on, as well as on each side of the couch.

  103. Jerach on May 30th, 2011 9:08 pm

    Anybody else reminded of the "you might be gay" test pictures?

  104. Jerach on May 30th, 2011 9:09 pm

    Because all the other tags would flee out of sheer fear.

  105. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:27 pm

    Never heard of them.

  106. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:28 pm

    Am I missing something with the 'Red makes Prof. Oak come' thing that's going on?

  107. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:29 pm

    GRAMMAR HAMMERS!
    *An objection, What proof do you have?

  108. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:30 pm

    It's super effective!

  109. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:32 pm

    I hate this comment system. When I posted the one saying 'Moltres', the other one was gone. I assumed it had been removed, so I tried again. F**king Intense Database, you suck! I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU AND GUT YOUR CH-
    We're sorry, but this account has been deleted by Intense Database staff. Move along.

  110. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:34 pm

    I have never, nor will I ever, see that video or hear that music, so I will just calmly post a picture here.
    <img src=http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQDU1sU_rJVHeBnOwHBmk_T_QlbdR5bWu4csupNVoFwqL7iYn8r>
    That should clear things up

  111. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:36 pm

    Don't worry, I can't figure it out either. Every time somebody posts the formula/code, I use it and it just refreshes the page.

  112. Saxostev on May 30th, 2011 9:37 pm

    Ash: Yeah well… my mom said your grandpa is bigger.
    Gary:Wha…

  113. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:37 pm

    GRAMMAR to the HAMMER!
    *Who's laughing now?, I HAVE mountains.
    Nobody is safe from the wrath of the Grammar Hammer. Not even Red the Mountainous, King and Lord of all piles of dirt.

  114. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:38 pm

    nope.avi

  115. Red on May 30th, 2011 9:38 pm

    no, it only happens when he hears I beat gary

  116. Shady Kitsune on May 30th, 2011 9:38 pm

    Do you know why the Eevee is there?
    'cos bitches LOVE Eevees.

  117. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:39 pm

    <img src=http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRfmEzKC-W16TzMk02_Lu7zADpm5fT7RDPeJJH_iVw-FIsZKkmk7Q>
    OH YEAH!

  118. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:40 pm

    I AM DISAPPOINT.

  119. quaker171 on May 30th, 2011 9:42 pm

    <img src=http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSUrKY94_fY2RGYOx0dUD9Y4GzqtI7s2UI-hg9sESSCmjGCFfVS>
    Why yes I am!

  120. Not_anon on May 30th, 2011 9:43 pm

    Wait how the fuck does the link go to this page?

    I could've sworn it went to this. rel="nofollow">

  121. ThetaBetaSigma on May 30th, 2011 9:58 pm

    Does his domain include Jars of Dirt?

  122. CriticalQuit on May 30th, 2011 9:59 pm

    The man wrote a 6 page paper on the socio-economic benefits of selling the children of Ireland's poor as food to British nobility! Come on! That is awesome!

  123. ChemicalKirby on May 30th, 2011 10:07 pm

    You also couldn't fit all his badges on one T-shirt

  124. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:16 pm

    HEY GUYS I'M BACK FR- *T.V tropes'd* gaugggghhhh. , ____ '

  125. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:20 pm

    NOT QUAKER!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

  126. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:21 pm

    not even a Chuck Norris tag can save them if that happens…

  127. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:22 pm

    uh… 7… leafion and glacion.

  128. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:24 pm

    here have my Force laz0r gun… if it kills me in one shot It kills everything…

  129. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:26 pm

    *thumbs down and pulls of mask. OMFG IT'S g-gary motherf***ing oak* GUESS WHO RED?! *punch* REAL me:GET OUT OF MY TEXT BOX!!!! ) :<

  130. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:28 pm

    In the words of M.Bison… YESSSS!!!! YESSSS!!!!

  131. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:29 pm

    weeeeelll… I am also the same… sometimes…yep.

  132. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:32 pm

    RED!!!!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE!!!! *a full team of event exclusive Pokemon INCLUDING ARCEUS at level 100.* *epic face*

  133. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:33 pm

    *BARF* you… are a sick minded GRASShole…

  134. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:36 pm

    O.O are you implying that hes… GAY!?!?!

  135. nighten2_0 on May 30th, 2011 10:37 pm

    LoL! taking the sentence literary… CLASSIC!

  136. lolwuthax on May 30th, 2011 10:41 pm

    Ok, I call hax on that.

  137. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 10:55 pm

    gary oak is also fluent in any language (and rasism)
    <img src="http://lolbot.net/pix/12449.jpg"&gt;

  138. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 10:56 pm

    what are you doing! gary "mother fucking" oak doesnt explain himeself to anyone!

  139. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 10:57 pm

    WARNING! WARNING! RULE 34 INBOUND ALL HANDS ON DECK, PREPARE THE DEFENSES!

  140. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 10:58 pm

    why do most halolz users have a firm understanding of the law?

  141. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 10:59 pm

    rare candys were involved

  142. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 11:01 pm

    i challenge you to a rel="nofollow">magikarp battle!

  143. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 11:02 pm

    trolls are like a pile of shit….thats the comparison

  144. Red on May 30th, 2011 11:05 pm

    Luckily I was using Z-Targeting, and was able to effectively dodge your attack.

  145. Red on May 30th, 2011 11:05 pm

    yes, now give it back!

  146. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 11:05 pm

    who said anything about just weed! PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!
    <img src="http://www.thesharkguys.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/chimp1-300x225.jpg"&gt;

  147. Red on May 30th, 2011 11:06 pm
  148. imnutty on May 30th, 2011 11:08 pm
  149. GREAT JUSTICE on May 30th, 2011 11:09 pm

    Is he doing that Eevee too?

  150. EphEphEcksIII on May 30th, 2011 11:10 pm

    Gary's secret? GTL
    Gyms
    Trainers
    Leveling
    The only proven method to win 10 out of 8 gym badges.

  151. Jimmy on May 30th, 2011 11:11 pm

    Same here oddly enough…

  152. Jimmy on May 30th, 2011 11:15 pm

    Oh SHIIII--!!!

  153. Jimmy on May 30th, 2011 11:15 pm

    TOO LATE.

  154. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on May 30th, 2011 11:22 pm
  155. XSV225 on May 30th, 2011 11:24 pm

    GRAMMAR HAMMER!
    *literally, my good sir.

  156. Zyquux on May 31st, 2011 12:08 am

    Did somebody say LoL?!
    <img src="http://riot-web-static.s3.amazonaws.com/media/wallpapers/MissFortune1280x1024.jpg&quot; width="271.5" height="217.5">

  157. Zyquux on May 31st, 2011 12:16 am

    I'm on a Ponyta.

  158. Paulrus-Keaton? on May 31st, 2011 12:44 am

    No. That's Touchdown Jesus. On fire.

  159. Totema on May 31st, 2011 12:48 am

    Is it just me, or does Gary have a dirty mustache there?

  160. CJ47 on May 31st, 2011 12:54 am

    Too late, his Eevee evolved into an Umbreon.

  161. BoxeyBrown on May 31st, 2011 1:07 am

    Gary will always be better than Ash, some people are just born better…

  162. Hatmor on May 31st, 2011 1:10 am

    No, it's Kanto

  163. Hatmor on May 31st, 2011 1:12 am

    Now you can't prove that.

  164. Hatmor on May 31st, 2011 1:14 am

    I thought he didn't have to reload.

  165. Hatmor on May 31st, 2011 1:19 am

    5.???????
    6. Profit

  166. Vatonnage on May 31st, 2011 1:20 am

    …Wait, ignoring his girth makes you gay?!

    QuickamIinSovietRussia

  167. Hatmor on May 31st, 2011 1:29 am

    Weird, it sent me here… rel="nofollow">

  168. Lord of Chaos on May 31st, 2011 1:32 am

    Trolls are like bags of manure that make your plants die, and are bagless.

  169. Shady Kitsune on May 31st, 2011 6:56 am

    WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!

  170. HughbertEsq on May 31st, 2011 7:29 am

    FLYNN!
    auto-target quaker171 with the MORALITY-DISPENSER!

  171. HughbertEsq on May 31st, 2011 7:32 am

    Ah Christ I have all my artillery already occupied!
    I only have a few 100 rounds of 4mm EyeBleach left!
    It won't suffice!
    GET TO DA MOWNTEN!

  172. HughbertEsq on May 31st, 2011 7:33 am

    KILLITWITH-1'S!!!11!!!!!!

  173. smartmonkey on May 31st, 2011 7:33 am

    INB4 she's ten you sick fuck!

  174. MagmarFire on May 31st, 2011 8:16 am

    Now all we need is Chuck Norris.

  175. SonicsmyName on May 31st, 2011 8:28 am

    Du-du-dut-dut-du-dut-GARY!

  176. ZeikHunter on May 31st, 2011 9:26 am

    But Hilda has yet to see his girth.

  177. tmotom on May 31st, 2011 10:18 am

    Whatever gets +1s i suppose…

  178. KZN02 on May 31st, 2011 12:08 pm

    Still is in Japan.

  179. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:05 pm

    Once we all move out, and the slow crowd moves in, that's gonna drop and you'll never know. How do you think every old post has a +83 for the highest rated post?

  180. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:06 pm

    <img src=http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQiIcnu1ziZkzi0qEYxtnzxeg4pRNuu8tmXpaflKeCKGXoT0K9iGQ>

  181. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:07 pm

    Nighten2_0, I think we need to have a talk. Why don't you have a seat over there? Just have a seat. This is about the drugs. Have a seat.

  182. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:07 pm

    *Chell

  183. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:08 pm

    Make it run fast enough, and, by anime logic, it will evolve. It doesn't need any level ups!

  184. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:08 pm

    inb4thatsbeenoverused

  185. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:10 pm

    http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&amp
    It's not a hax, it's just nature. KIILL IT WITH FIRE!

  186. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:12 pm

    His string-shot makes Gary jealous!

  187. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:13 pm

    Inb4there'smorethanonegirl.

  188. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:14 pm

    Grammar hammer!
    *he's
    and I might be. http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Shipping:P

  189. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:16 pm

    Oh, they're glowing alright…it took me a minute to realize that green was to the right but it's not the glow of pregnancy, but of a man turning those girls into women. I know that glimmer all too well…

    DAMN YOU GARY!!! I WANTED HER FIRST!!!

  190. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:20 pm

    <img src=http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRmuHYTW1WGVfgZKR3QYhnEVdd-4Zyg-4HaTNLR-Gky_uRunXTZ>
    <img src=http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyCOatdJwIPMbuRB8-QUTYhjkQyFoz3saFSlkHuKWbWvUZB4Mfgw>
    Those should help if used together

  191. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:22 pm

    Will this be enough? I think it might just hold raw sewage, though.
    <img src=http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQeQhiRVnnry5x2lR3VBEmLYPqkCMM9-1OxzY9G7EgO9PIpBjn8>

  192. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:22 pm

    Statler and Waldorf are still my ultimate picks for trolling.

  193. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:26 pm

    …because Shawn worships in the Church of Courage Kratos and not the Church of the Falcon.

  194. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:27 pm

    where did the 4 go?

  195. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:27 pm

    FURRY VISION: U NAO HAZ IT

  196. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:28 pm

    Ugh… clearly, you haven't seen the Meet the Team videos. That is a parody of the transcript of Meet the Sniper. See them here. http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Meet_the_Team

  197. Jimmy on May 31st, 2011 1:28 pm

    …and at the same time, looking directly at it does the same…so if you catch even the slightest glimpse, you're boned.

  198. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:29 pm

    He doesn't HAVE to, but he LIKES to, as do the girls.

  199. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:29 pm

    Most of us… well… to put it simply, we can't vote anymore.

  200. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:30 pm

    GRAMMAR HAMMER!
    *Still, it's in Japan.
    Are you implying that, if I go to Japan, I will find pokemon? It's only BASED off of a certain region of Japan.

  201. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:33 pm

    *many months later*
    *Quaker171 crawls out of your computer*
    "Nobody keeps good grammar down!"

  202. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:34 pm

    Aha! Good perception, old bean! I would've caught that, but I was building a cow-cannon on Minecraft.

  203. TehVortex on May 31st, 2011 1:34 pm

    I meant that they were pregnant by the hand (or, another organ) of Gary Oak…but I think it was misunderstood. Looking back, it was carelessly worded. My bad.

  204. KZN02 on May 31st, 2011 1:35 pm

    Still quite similar, minus the Pokemon part. Maybe we should go with that post-apocalypse theory.

  205. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:35 pm

    TVTROPES? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  206. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:37 pm

    <img src=http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSuX3RizZ8587RKva4PpEn7kn5eLoQ_nu-FVF-8rbQQ-DdPsr7abA>

  207. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:40 pm

    Good idea!
    Hey, look at this! http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Delici
    Now, while he's distracted,
    WHAM!

  208. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:41 pm

    It has royally fucked nighten2_0 over.

  209. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:42 pm

    SPELLING HAMMER!!!!
    *Racism
    SUCK IT.

  210. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:43 pm

    He meant that the limit was changed from 10 new chicks to 50 new chicks. Drunkard.
    Also,
    SPELLING HAMMERS!
    Lefeon and Glaceon

  211. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 1:45 pm

    That just sounds… so… horrible… we need some EAR BLEACH!

  212. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 2:30 pm

    damn you! i was taught phonetic spelling as a child now with spelling i
    <img src="http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/465-derp-derp.jpg"&gt;

  213. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 2:32 pm

    its because your a illegal immigrant right? RIGHT!? please be a Mexican!

  214. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 2:34 pm

    thats the point quaker171, i know you have been hounding my ass although these posts, i'm not too derp, i was making a joke on a joke on a joke on a boat

  215. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 2:38 pm

    why are they -1 ing you? who is black baron *googles it* gary oak is a hundred times more awesome than a madworld villain, you deserve the -1!

  216. Gearheadmk2 on May 31st, 2011 2:49 pm

    I sense a pattern here. A while back I made a Terrahypt reference and people thumbed me down for that too. Why are people hating on me for mentioning little-known stuff?

  217. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 3:02 pm

    your scare us with your uber obscurity

  218. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:21 pm

    Awhothefuckcares?
    <img src=http://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341c5bb353ef0134899cb209970c-pi>

  219. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:23 pm

    Spelling Hammer.
    Leafeon.

  220. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:26 pm

    Rock slide.

  221. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:28 pm

    Ahem…

    Romulus.
    *flees*

  222. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:29 pm

    Are you implying he needs to be?

  223. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:30 pm

    Metapod used harden.

  224. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:33 pm

    It divided itself between the girls in the picture.

  225. Xyxoz on May 31st, 2011 3:36 pm

    Hit the road jack, do do do do….

  226. TheAl41 on May 31st, 2011 4:01 pm

    AND DONT YOU COME BACK NO MOOOOOOOOORE!!!

  227. XSV225 on May 31st, 2011 4:38 pm

    Is aforementioned cannon functional?

  228. CriticalQuit on May 31st, 2011 4:39 pm

    They have an unfair advantage, there's two of them.

  229. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 4:50 pm

    Gary forgot to turn off his swagger that night, and he woke up covered in bitches.

  230. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 4:53 pm

    I gave that bitch an Evee. Bitches LOVE Evee's.

  231. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 4:54 pm

    THIS IS DELISCIOUS!

  232. CriticalQuit on May 31st, 2011 6:19 pm

    That's just Troll Dad with a monocle.

  233. Xenon_ktor on May 31st, 2011 7:04 pm

    are you sure he's from Pallet and not Jersey?

  234. Xenon_ktor on May 31st, 2011 7:31 pm

    oh no Gary didn't have to actively work at impregnating them. He's like Jarith from Labyrinth, just looking at him impreganted them.

  235. imnutty on May 31st, 2011 7:40 pm

    close enough, your the one quoting Jonathon swift at a bunch of gamers

  236. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:49 pm

    I still almost puked. I bet the British nobles would enjoy that.

  237. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:50 pm

    17th century troll would be a troll dad with a medieval helmet and some peasant clothes, holding a dragon head.

  238. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:51 pm

    Hehehe… I get the joke. I actually read that in the voice , too.

  239. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:53 pm

    SPELLING HAMMER, I believe.
    * Delicious.

  240. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:53 pm

    He's like a bug zapper!

  241. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:54 pm

    Did anybody else see the Ray Charles video today?

  242. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:55 pm

    Well, a jar of dirt is just a pile of dirt in a jar, so yes!

  243. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:56 pm

    Is it possible?
    Good thing I brought backup.
    <img src=http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9iITv_koZGbaQ9WRCR6GZFXhuT5gm5xB07E9DvhEwwKe3lw1D>
    That was the worst trade Red ever made.

  244. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 8:57 pm

    More like a SNATCH zapper!
    *Cricket sounds*

  245. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:57 pm

    She must be blind.

  246. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:58 pm

    Inception?
    BRAINMELT!

  247. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 8:58 pm

    Oh goodness me, it appears that i have made a mistake. Thank you very much for correcting me, kind sir.
    *Sips tea and adjusts non-existent monocle*

  248. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:59 pm

    <img src=http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQlOsjEo-wbNlC49RPtvxENaUEgBrHDD_SS1sZmuJP9YbybwCp1Sw>

  249. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 8:59 pm

    Nope. Notice that I said "anymore". Besides, I am a gentleman, making me British.

  250. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:00 pm

    I wish Japan had real pokemon…

  251. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:03 pm

    Of course. I can peg a creeper with a cow from 9 chunks!

  252. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:04 pm

    Too many spelling hammers for one man's grip!

  253. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:06 pm

    inb4holyshityou'reright

  254. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:10 pm

    WE NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!

  255. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:11 pm

    I beg to differ. Find an action replay, and there you go.

  256. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:13 pm

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU-
    I have been found out. One of these days, I'm going to get a new keyboard. That was a good perception though. Everybody, -1 me. I don't deserve a positive number on that screw up. And a +1 to Xyxoz.

  257. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 9:14 pm

    SPELLING HAMMER!
    *Eevee, twice.

  258. Nyoron on May 31st, 2011 9:50 pm

    Again? I have not been in my right mind lately. I apologize, kind sir.

  259. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 10:02 pm

    Don't let it happen again. I will put spikes on the hammerhead.

  260. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 10:02 pm

    SPELLING HAMMER!!!!!!!!!
    *Eeveelution.

  261. Zyquux on May 31st, 2011 11:23 pm

    Stay thy hand!

    Meme/leet-speak falls outside the jurisdiction of the Grammar Hammer.

    CAN I HAZ SANDVICH PL0X?

  262. quaker171 on May 31st, 2011 11:55 pm

    OBJECTION!!!!!!
    Icanhazcheezburger does NOT count as a meme! Your words are semi-leet, but I have no objection to them. I only have an issue with his cheezburger-esque speak!

  263. Puubasan on June 1st, 2011 2:28 am

    hehe sealing the gap

  264. Jimmy on June 1st, 2011 2:30 am
  265. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:04 am

    Clearly these are not his cheerleaders either.

    if you guys don't know who they are, they're the female protagonists of Generation III and IV, both new region and remade region.
    Thank GOD the Unova is such a faraway place…

  266. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:05 am

    You might need a sample of internets from those immune to the TVTropes virus.
    Such as me.

  267. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:06 am

    …reminds me of a recent Demotivational I saw about "GAYTEST"ing.

  268. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:10 am

    Especially those teachers.
    Lesseee…..(yes, intentional)
    I've identified these groups:
    -1 trolls (I would be one if it weren't for the fact that all the lowest-rated comments were down there and I'm too lazy to scroll)
    The Grand Champions (AKA the player characters of the Pokémon games) (AKA we were trained in the way of the Mountain)
    English Gentlemanly Hammer's Club -- you are leader, right?
    Regulars -- those who comment often on the site
    Kratoshipping -- SHAWN HANDYSIDE

  269. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:11 am

    Living a life of isolation…
    feels good to live in the Unova!

  270. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 1st, 2011 4:14 am

    It's due to the fact that Hilda hasn't ever HEARD of the Oaks -- if but for one reason only:
    Unova is isolated.
    Also, if Hilda were to see his girth, that would mean there are several others who would come along (seeming as the prevalency of Elite Fours by gender ratio is 1:1 in Unova, with a very close ratio of Gym Leaders by gender (only surpassed by the fact that Striaton has three brothers) which I cannot deduce) and hear of him.

  271. Combatbeaver on June 1st, 2011 7:14 am

    …literally?

  272. XSV225 on June 1st, 2011 7:14 am

    most excellent! This of course excuses your tardiness, then.

  273. seanhl on June 1st, 2011 10:43 am
  274. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:52 pm

    That fills me with joy, and some steak.

  275. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:52 pm

    Quite possibly.

  276. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:55 pm

    Get your goddamn cat-picture talking words out of this website!
    That is my only problem! Soon after this, Halolz will be the target of the cheezburger people's next attempted purchase! We must stand up to protect our home!

  277. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:56 pm

    Unova isn't isolated. They have an airport and a harbor. She must be deaf, then.

  278. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:57 pm

    Harbor+Airport=Not isolated.

  279. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 12:59 pm

    We need a sample!

  280. quaker171 on June 1st, 2011 1:02 pm

    <img src=http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWJKXaSvpuIBuR62KlcXGMQq_PTywWetwotPo7epf5aQQXQWJS>

  281. HughbertEsq on June 1st, 2011 1:08 pm

    Better drink his own piss…

  282. HughbertEsq on June 1st, 2011 1:15 pm

    Whu-?
    You already hav-
    ermm
    … rub your face all over it if you could be so kind ^^

  283. HughbertEsq on June 1st, 2011 1:21 pm

    *Artillery ceases firing*
    Whew… good work it looks we got the lot of them
    *sees quaker's comment*

    Damnit…
    RESTOCK THE 4MM'S!
    RECALIBRATE CANNON TRAJECTORY!
    CANCEL THE ALL CLEAR!
    WE'VE GOT MORE "R34" INBOUND!

    I swear quaker171 one of these days…

  284. HughbertEsq on June 1st, 2011 1:23 pm

    Terrahypt?
    *typetypetype*
    HOLYCRAPZILOVETHISGUY

  285. TheAl41 on June 1st, 2011 3:53 pm

    As long as the mountains are nowhere near mah lawn, your ok.

  286. Red on June 1st, 2011 4:03 pm

    Ahem, I'm still in that picture. Your argument is invalid

  287. Red on June 1st, 2011 4:05 pm

    Pardon me, good sir, but I see you have mentioned rocks. As you are well aware, I have dominion over all mountains. Mountains are comprised of rocks (amongst other things). Therefore I have dominion over the rocks as well, and your rock-based attacks will do nothing!

  288. Red on June 1st, 2011 4:06 pm

    Make it a triple battle:
    Magikarp vs Magikarp, Magikarp and Magikarp, versus Magikarp, Magikarp, and Magi- ah I've forgotten the joke!

  289. Red on June 1st, 2011 4:06 pm

    quaker171 used TVTropes
    Red is unaffected

  290. penguindude42 on June 1st, 2011 6:41 pm

    lol u mad

  291. seanhl on June 1st, 2011 7:14 pm

    I smell a -1 troll, anyone got some anti-troll spray

  292. Xyxoz on June 2nd, 2011 1:47 am

    <img src=http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/1/11/Ludoface.jpg>
    But rocks are friends.

  293. Red on June 2nd, 2011 2:18 am

    <img src="http://bokertov.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/rock_eater.jpg&quot; alt="" />
    But, friends also eat rocks

  294. Red on June 2nd, 2011 2:20 am

    Actually, I think this has warranted a limit on your grammar hammer powers. As Xyxoz found you out, they are the most deserving of the powers that are now up for grabs

  295. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 2nd, 2011 2:22 am

    OBJECTION -- Airport has only ever been used in Mistralton to import goods from other regions, not other people!
    Harbour is for the same reason, as well as their cruises!

  296. TouyaShiro - Fiera on June 2nd, 2011 2:25 am

    What I wonder right now is WHO are the -1 trolls? We're both ending up on 0 on the other arguments (and some of them -1 or worse, haven't gone to check).
    I checked my profile…I'm not liking the look of the latest two visitors to it.

  297. ZeikHunter on June 5th, 2011 1:23 am

    My, how Leaf has…

    grown…

  298. Jan on June 5th, 2011 4:36 am

    Am I really the only one not simultaneously logged into Facebook (due to both missing and unwanted account) that I stumpled upon the hotlink blockage? Without the Halolz referer, the picture loads just fine in a separate tab.

    Of course, you could say this was kind of a karma thing on Halolz.

  299. Lord_Science on June 5th, 2011 9:46 pm

    KNOWLEDGE HAMMER!
    Unless I am misunderstanding your comment, but don't you mean 40mm? A 4mm round is virtually harmless.

  300. Lord_Science on June 5th, 2011 9:51 pm

    Don't we all…. TO THE LAB!!!

  301. Lord_Science on June 5th, 2011 9:53 pm

    inb4amidoingitright?

  302. EpicUsername911 on June 19th, 2011 4:19 am

    This explains alot xD

  303. Puubasan on June 27th, 2011 8:14 pm

    hey! just because you say my joke is bad doesn't…
    make it so.
    YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

  304. dkfahieuva on April 19th, 2012 11:03 am

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