Finally an in-depth photo study of the reclusive angry bird! Nature’s mean spirited avenger!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 3, 2011 · 7:17 PM
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Categories: Angry Birds, Cover Art, Cray-Z Crossovers, Storytime/Wordplay, The Great Outdoors, Wild Animals · Leave a comment (115 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
flinging birds at unstable buildings have never been so in-depth.
Let's see Bear Grylls tame THAT thing.
By drinking his own piss!
Also in that issue:
A special report on the discovery of the wreckage of the S.S. Anne
Either that bird has some really strong talons or it's filled with helium.
Very protective of its eggs, the Angry Bird will attack in bevies, sacrificing themselves to defeat their enemies.
The juvenile Angry Bird possess two strange appendages known as wings, which will be shed shortly after reaching adulthood. This molting allows for maximum sling-shot efficiency.
Also in that report:
A mysterious pokemon without a number was reported to have destroyed the ship. Police are still looking for the pokemon with the missing nomber
The owner of the angry bird is rich. So god damn filthy rich.
The S.S. Anne sinking: Terrorist act or Team Rocket conspiracy?!
Hell hath no scorn like that of an angry bird!
SPELLING HAMMER!
*number
<img src="http://i1108.photobucket.com/albums/h417/Brian_Cartwright/attackedbybirdsdrinkownpiss.jpg">
<img src=http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQN_896tVb_fv603x-SLanXD4fU-NJcKAMjKDLCcpw48rUetnOL>
I want this issue in print.
Shawn, start a magazine please. I could be called, HALOLZ: THE MAGAZINE.
Pics of other birds please?
I thought Team Rocket were the Terrorists! (It would explain the soldiers)
<img src="http://zelda-world.net/ocarina-of-time/images/MasterSword.png" alt="" />
Spelling sword?
The Angry Bird spends days, if not months collecting wood for the perfect slingshot before it can start laying its eggs.
SHortly after taking these photos and sending them to NG, the photographer was attacked by a slew of angry birds and was left with high-speed projectile marks across his back, several bruises, many cuts, and…..burnt skin? The investigation continues.
The best part is that he spelled it right the first time.
Bear Grylls is a failure at Jarate. He keeps drinking the piss instead of throwing it at Spies.
Is there an evolutionary advantage to being incapable of flight and producing excess internal amounts of explosive, combustible gases? Read this month's issue for our answer: No.
Indeed!
Exactly! It may be a typo, but I recognize no typos!
*glug glug glug* Uh… what?
GRAMMAR HAMMER!
*has, not have. You are saying that an act have been something. By that logic, "Painting have been fun" would be correct. Do you see your fault?
Wow, that was so original. HALOLZINE?
It is quite hard to observe these strange creatures, every time scientists would try to take a sample of their eggs for testing, the flock would attack them in suicidal charges, scientists would strangely disappear if hit either by these birds, or by objects the birds would knock over onto them. The strangest of them was a white bird that would first lay an egg, then attack the scientists, seeming to defeat the purpose of retrieving its eggs in the first place.
Nomber Nomb nom nom nom nom nom :3
BREAKING NEWS! TERRIBLE CALAMATIES OF APOCALYPTICAL MEASURES IS UNDERWAY AS WE SPEAK! PHYSICS NO LONGER WORKS LIKE WE KNEW IT! POKEMON ARE SWIMMING IN LAND! More on this at elesdaboiasdfhbjkd——--
Also in that issue: Something about Aperture Science
(Can't think, too much Nitrous Oxide in my system… thanks wisdom teeth)
No, Team Rocket just steals Pokemon.
It's Team Galactic that blows up things -- just look at what they did to the Lakes of Sinnoh!
Good thing mountains can't be blown up as easily, right?
The most delicious digit?
<img src="http://www.birdstrikeforce.com/images/bird_strike_force_plane_score.jpg" width="500/">
this is the what their Army will look like once they perfect their version of "The Art of War"
It's fury, not scorn. Hell hath no fury like an angry bird.
Why would you be called 'HALOLZ: THE MAGAZINE'?
This, oddly enough, is EXACTLY what an agitated cardinal looks like. I freaked one out in its enclosure while visiting the zoo.
F*ck the grammar hammer, english is not my native tongue.
Have a nice day ;)
I agree, I see no failure in that
let's celebrate by drinking more piss!
I assume he looks something like this:
<img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y217/Freinz/Card%20Game%20Card%20Making%20Challenge/TrollDeveloper.jpg" alt="" />
I tried ever so hard, but could not find the image I wanted to post here.
Just picture this: a tongue with a (stereotypical?) Native American head-piece.
(The text would then read) So is this your native tongue?
because it'd be kinda funny, if you think about it
*ALERT! BAD JOKE INCOMING! BRACE FOR IMPACT!*
That would be 9.
rel="nofollow">This just in: It's the Apocalypse!
Team Rocket is the Mafia, Teams Magma and Aqua are eco-terrorists (or something like that), Team Galactic are just straight up terrorists, and (from what I gather from reading about them) Team Plasma are well-intentioned extremists.
So it was literally an angry bird.
*pre-impact*
Seatbelts, bah! Those things take more lives than they save
*impact, flies through windshield*
Damn it Shawn I posted Angry Bird pic on CoF forum and this is what you post?
This is really good…
Oh, I see it now and, wait what's tha-
<img src="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/23114_1269699729_3700_n.jpg" alt="" />
RUN!! RUN N--
Such a majestic creature.
What the…
Who are you and what have you done with my avatar?
Rather than taming the bird, he might eat it raw
O.o *I'm in trouble*
You're still being bugged out by that thing?
I heard that I could skip the gates somehow -- I tried that, but I ended up making the town a white void somehow.
Hey, I thought I took 'em out ages ago! HOW could they still be going on with plans…?
Edit: I've heard in the Unova Region they get these Pokemon named Excadrill and they just absolutely tear down a mountain using a special move. I heard it was called "Bulldoze". I'm travelling there to get one myself!
Fun fact:
What came to mind when I found out about Team Plasma's motives in Pokemon Black/White, one of Halolz's posts came to mind (SAY NO TO SILPH CO.) which, now that I think about it, could have been in mind of the creator at the time.
…
ok, that submission officially needs moar plasma
Shower Curtain Phenomena!
There, just thought of something for you.
Alternate: Combustible Lemon Phenomena
QUICK, CALL 000 FOR THE VCSI (Victini Crime Scene Investigations)
This is the order from best to worst. Black -- White -- Blue -- Yellow -- Red -- A barely contained fart -- Green
Seriously. How can black be so unbelievable awesome, while the green sucks so hard? My theory: the green one is a pig in disguise is deliberately being really fsking useless.
FOR SCIENCE!
…
and bird launching.
Birds are notoriously light, they have hollow bones. It's why they're so suited for natural flight. They do have strong talons as well, though.
I meant it, not i. Damn thing wont let me edit it now.
I see what you did there, I'll be honest, I laughed ^^
*Grabs Grammar Hammer*
It's fucking, not fsking, you UNCULTURED SWINE!
I'll be honest here, we're just throwing birds at the wall and seeing what sticks.
Cave Johnson here.
Fact: birds are made of explosives and hate pigs.
Solution: we throw birds at pigs. Not really sure what we'll accomplish, but that's science.
Cave Johnson. We're done here.
woops thanks
Worried some guy is gonna fire a laser into it and blow it up? Please! A thermal exhaust port would be about… 2 meters around? What pilot would be able to shoot something into there? Trust me. You'll be fine without covering it up.
Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
Goddamn Euphoria Engine..
"THE HALOZER"?
NO!
*Wrenches Hammer from Gearheadmk2*
he was only trying to instill a fleeting sense of innocence in us all by not swearing
Ahem, "Whatever happened to the looooov-" *GRAMMAR HAMMERED*
"IF flying is to result in victory then you must FLY!, Sun Tzu said that, and I think he knows a little bit more about flying than you do pally because he invented it!
Then he perfected it so no bird could beat him in the Range of Honour!
And make it double?
I dunno,
then what am I gonna do with this plywood?
*takes Lucas' passport*
Can't let you do that… you get the idea
So does this one:
<img src="http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/4/44/Black_White_Team_Plasma_Grunts.png" alt="">
wait, red-haired people trying to take over the world… where have I seen this before???
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/egamia/images/3/30/GanondorfTP.jpg" alt="" />
.
<img src="http://www.untoldentertainment.com/blog/img/2010_11_06/gingers.jpg" alt="" />
Wow, GameFreak really has run out of original ideas!
I'm getting peeved at all these jokes about urine.
CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, TEAM ROCKET!
GRAMMAR HAMMER!
* Apocalyptical measures ARE under way, and I don't think Apocalyptical is a word. I think you meant Apocalyptic.
Make a plywood laser-coverer!
Don't pop your flesh-balloon.
<img src=http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTLgpFT_nHQf1CoXIrGLp852jYloqTMlbjd0FrvugkJ8g4GpCBdgg>
SPELLING HAMMER!
*whoops, thanks
Hell hath no pain like that of a spelling hammer to the chin.
*Gently but firmly removes Grammar Hammer from HughbertEsq's grasp*
This is a tool for corrections, not warfare! Use this instead.
*tosses Hater Hammer into the middle of a crowd*
*cloaks and walk away, back to Red's mountain, where I disguise as one of the many resident Pidove*
You need wings to fly, though. I'm going with
*High voice*
Helium.
The Grammar Hammer does not recognize excuses. Did you -1 me? Don't make me get the -- Hammer.
Good sir, you forgot the other quote. It belongs after the ! at the end of your little skit.
Did that bird just eat a lemon? WE MUST INVESTIGATE!
Don't throw the white one, he's not albino. He is, however, sticky. Ask Red for more details.
<img src="http://local-static1.forum-files.fobby.net/forum_attachments/0025/4151/psilly29lo8.jpg" alt="">
I would have blocked it though, with my…
*drumroll*
HIDDEN-PUN SHIELDON!!!
<img src="http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/e/e2/410Shieldon.png/200px-410Shieldon.png" alt="" />
what's that? don't get piss-y on os now!
*cuts to sign which says "Pidove season: now open"*
Who wants to go hunting? I've got extra guns!!!
SPELLING HAMMER!
*us
I thought you were smarter than that!
He'll eat it raw-dog.
The grammar hammer has a powerful swing indeed.
for the save!!!
os:
<img src="http://www.pycomall.com/images/P/MacOS_logo.jpg" alt="" />
<img src=http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/c/c4/493Arceus_Fighting_Dream.png/92px-493Arceus_Fighting_Dream.png>
Used Mega Punch!
It's super effective!
Shieldon managed to hold on with sturdy!
GO IN FOR THE KILL.
SPACE?
You were too incompetent in your work. Get out of your villa before I BULLDOZE it.
Oh, that was no hammer: I strapped 'em into my trusty Reliant (Space)Robin.
<img src="http://www.niot.net/blog-images/16_Apr/top-gear-headed-for-outer-space-could-be.jpg" alt="" />
I don't know how they found the "eject" button
*Hunter approaches*
"I'd like to try it out!"
For some reason, I think that went right over your head.
nope.avi
Shieldon had used substitute!
The substitute was quaker171!!!
How long has Gaben been an angry bird?
<img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5059/5568765167_9d930ecf56.jpg" alt="">
star, star, star, star, star, bored of space, dont like space, space is too big, wanna go home, wanna go to earth.
EEEEAAAARRRRTTTTHHHH!!!
<img src="http://www.phoenix-vision.com/looneytunes/images/20_Elmer_Fudd2-copy.png" alt="" />
nope! we don't allow people who can't say "rabbit" to come hunting here!
Oh please, that's old -- I thought you and Jimmy defeated them!
I know about an awesome team called Team Plasma.
It's in the Unova Region, you've probably never heard of it
Damnit. Steven left it as a Steel-type villa when I got it. Made the whole place very lustrous, but you found its weakness.
No matter, my Giratina will take me to Unova -- I already purchased a villa there!
Here's one:
"Can't let you escape that (used Block!)"
Cave Johnson here.
Due to an accident involving mantis DNA and pigs, we have created a new species of green pigs. Fortunately, here at Apeture science, we know you have to fight fire, with birds. Introducing the Angry bird. Each bird contains a skeleten stronger than steel thanks to genetic engineering.They come in 7 different colors, each for breaking down or blowing up different buildings and different pigs.
Just load 'em up into a sling shot, and *BAM*.
Works every time.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.
I believe, then, that you are obligated to supply it
…Is…
…Is that a Terrahypt reference?