I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite van on the… wait… IT’S A TRAP!
By ACamelsDragon

I HAVE CANDY

Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 21, 2011 · 3:27 PM

(233 votes, average: 3.15 out of 5)

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Categories:
BioWare, Creepy/Spooky, Electronic Arts, Extreme CloseUp, It's A Trap!, Mass Effect, Motivational, PC, Playstation, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (65 Comments)

858165 ResponsesI+HAVE+CANDY2011-03-21+20%3A27%3A54Shawn+Handyside to “I HAVE CANDY”

Xifihas on March 21st, 2011 3:31 pm

Don't be a pussy, this guy looks legit.
Angemon300 on March 21st, 2011 3:36 pm

''Follow me kids I have candy!'

''Are you going to give us m&m's?''

''Yes now let's go''

''And are you going to give us tootsie rolls too?''

''Yeah''

''And m&m's with toosie rolls?''

''And toosie rolls with m&m's?''

''Yessss, I have them all''

Quoted from an old HTF fanfiction.
TehHoboGawd on March 21st, 2011 3:38 pm

What? You don't want candy?… How about I endorse your store instead then! It'll be exclusively for you. *wink*
tveye on March 21st, 2011 3:39 pm

♪ I want candy! Bubblegum and taffy, skip to the sweetshop with my sweetheart Sandy! ♪
Uzumakiclan43 on March 21st, 2011 3:48 pm

I just have one question before you do…
Are you a BOY…
or a GIRL?
Sceptilianblade on March 21st, 2011 3:49 pm

Pedobear approves this submission.
BasketGT on March 21st, 2011 3:51 pm

Commander Pedobear?
Trogad0r on March 21st, 2011 3:54 pm

This is what candy tastes like Conrad! You like it?! rel="nofollow">( rel="nofollow">)
spplmj on March 21st, 2011 4:01 pm

<img src="http://assets.yodawgpics.com/hashed_silo_content/silo_content/5882/resized/chrishansen.jpg?1267152386" alt="" width="600" height="472" />
therandombear on March 21st, 2011 4:07 pm

I'm not sure what to think…we need Ackbar to help us, he's the expert on this.
CakeBard on March 21st, 2011 4:10 pm

Of course the only thing WE care about is if this action will get us an achievement or not.
Solar Boy Django on March 21st, 2011 4:13 pm

OH BOY CANDY I LOVE CANDY! HE LOOKS TRUSTWORTHY TO ME!
You don't put candy their mister! I poop from their! NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T.
Ichiinu on March 21st, 2011 4:18 pm

The glowing scars under his face mean he's a good guy.
invadingduck on March 21st, 2011 4:36 pm

Could you help me look for my kitty as well?
Smirky on March 21st, 2011 5:09 pm

I'm Commander Shepard, and my milkshakes bring all the kids to the yard…*slurp*
Sir_Nox on March 21st, 2011 5:20 pm

Mordin: Squinty eyes, knowing smile, appears to be extremely nice and yet contains inherently evil air about him, also no candy on his person, only one conclusion…*INHALE DEEPLY, CLOSE EYES AS IF CONCENTRATING*…Shepard is a Pedo-Bear.
Pedobear on March 21st, 2011 5:22 pm

I approve this post…

But I want the girl first.
Pedobear on March 21st, 2011 5:33 pm

Shepard, this is MY job! Not leave me do this stuff, will you?
Deep Thought on March 21st, 2011 5:44 pm

Rainbow Dash is always in search of more Candy Vag…
£cake on March 21st, 2011 5:45 pm

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite submission on Halolz.
Jaser965 on March 21st, 2011 6:03 pm

Well, he's obviously a trustworthy individual. In fact, I do believe he's a cyborg/robot if I do say so myself. And obviously the only reason a cyborg/robot would want a child is to protect the future from THE MACHINES.
Roflcopter419 on March 21st, 2011 6:17 pm

People really need a better way to convey a joke than inappropriately used motivationals.
Mentlegen on March 21st, 2011 7:03 pm

It could be even worse if he wasn't using Shepard's default face…

<img src="http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/4/44/Mass_Effect_Ugly_smile.jpg" width="378" height="399">
Mentlegen on March 21st, 2011 7:07 pm

They are in the Normandy, so If they opened the door everyone would walk the dinosaur….IN SPACE!

And I thought walking the dinosaur couldn't get more awesome.
Sceptilianblade on March 21st, 2011 8:12 pm

If only I had a good image editing program…
My school's cheap.
k3man on March 21st, 2011 9:35 pm

Look at this, like hopping into the captain's van for some candy. Heavy risk……but the priiiize..
Nyoron on March 21st, 2011 10:32 pm

Hw must've went to the PEDOBEAR SCHOOL OF PEDOPHILES
Master Eraqus on March 21st, 2011 10:45 pm

I'm commander Shepard and… wait, no I'm not.
Dr.Panda on March 22nd, 2011 12:10 am

But…I'm a Diabetic…
GazzyW007 on March 22nd, 2011 2:13 am

I'm Commander Shepard and Rohypnol is my favourite drug… anywhere I can use it.
Xenon_ktor on April 8th, 2011 4:16 pm

good but not quite as good as the speculation as to what Tali's face looks like on the official Bioware forums
http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/105/index…