I HAVE CANDY - Get in the van

I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite van on the… wait… IT’S A TRAP!
By ACamelsDragon

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on March 21, 2011 · 3:27 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (233 votes, average: 3.15 out of 5)
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BioWare, Creepy/Spooky, Electronic Arts, Extreme CloseUp, It's A Trap!, Mass Effect, Motivational, PC, Playstation, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (65 Comments)


65 Responses to “I HAVE CANDY”

  1. Xifihas on March 21st, 2011 3:31 pm

    Don't be a pussy, this guy looks legit.

  2. Angemon300 on March 21st, 2011 3:36 pm

    ''Follow me kids I have candy!'

    ''Are you going to give us m&m's?''

    ''Yes now let's go''

    ''And are you going to give us tootsie rolls too?''


    ''And m&m's with toosie rolls?''

    ''And toosie rolls with m&m's?''

    ''Yessss, I have them all''

    Quoted from an old HTF fanfiction.

  3. TehHoboGawd on March 21st, 2011 3:38 pm

    What? You don't want candy?… How about I endorse your store instead then! It'll be exclusively for you. *wink*

  4. tveye on March 21st, 2011 3:39 pm

    ♪ I want candy! Bubblegum and taffy, skip to the sweetshop with my sweetheart Sandy! ♪

  5. Uzumakiclan43 on March 21st, 2011 3:48 pm

    I just have one question before you do…
    Are you a BOY…
    or a GIRL?

  6. Sceptilianblade on March 21st, 2011 3:49 pm

    Pedobear approves this submission.

  7. BasketGT on March 21st, 2011 3:51 pm

    Commander Pedobear?

  8. Trogad0r on March 21st, 2011 3:54 pm

    This is what candy tastes like Conrad! You like it?! rel="nofollow">( rel="nofollow"> )

  9. spplmj on March 21st, 2011 4:01 pm
  10. therandombear on March 21st, 2011 4:07 pm

    I'm not sure what to think…we need Ackbar to help us, he's the expert on this.

  11. CakeBard on March 21st, 2011 4:10 pm

    Of course the only thing WE care about is if this action will get us an achievement or not.

  12. Solar Boy Django on March 21st, 2011 4:13 pm

    You don't put candy their mister! I poop from their! NOT ANYMORE YOU DON'T.

  13. Ichiinu on March 21st, 2011 4:18 pm

    The glowing scars under his face mean he's a good guy.

  14. invadingduck on March 21st, 2011 4:36 pm

    Could you help me look for my kitty as well?

  15. Smirky on March 21st, 2011 5:09 pm

    I'm Commander Shepard, and my milkshakes bring all the kids to the yard…*slurp*

  16. Sir_Nox on March 21st, 2011 5:20 pm

    Mordin: Squinty eyes, knowing smile, appears to be extremely nice and yet contains inherently evil air about him, also no candy on his person, only one conclusion…*INHALE DEEPLY, CLOSE EYES AS IF CONCENTRATING*…Shepard is a Pedo-Bear.

  17. Pedobear on March 21st, 2011 5:22 pm

    I approve this post…

    But I want the girl first.

  18. Pedobear on March 21st, 2011 5:33 pm

    Shepard, this is MY job! Not leave me do this stuff, will you?

  19. Deep Thought on March 21st, 2011 5:44 pm

    Rainbow Dash is always in search of more Candy Vag…

  20. £cake on March 21st, 2011 5:45 pm

    I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite submission on Halolz.

  21. Jaser965 on March 21st, 2011 6:03 pm

    Well, he's obviously a trustworthy individual. In fact, I do believe he's a cyborg/robot if I do say so myself. And obviously the only reason a cyborg/robot would want a child is to protect the future from THE MACHINES.

  22. Roflcopter419 on March 21st, 2011 6:17 pm

    People really need a better way to convey a joke than inappropriately used motivationals.

  23. Mentlegen on March 21st, 2011 7:03 pm

    It could be even worse if he wasn't using Shepard's default face…

    <img src="http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/4/44/Mass_Effect_Ugly_smile.jpg&quot; width="378" height="399">

  24. Mentlegen on March 21st, 2011 7:07 pm

    They are in the Normandy, so If they opened the door everyone would walk the dinosaur….IN SPACE!

    And I thought walking the dinosaur couldn't get more awesome.

  25. Sceptilianblade on March 21st, 2011 8:12 pm

    If only I had a good image editing program…
    My school's cheap.

  26. k3man on March 21st, 2011 9:35 pm

    Look at this, like hopping into the captain's van for some candy. Heavy risk……but the priiiize..

  27. Nyoron on March 21st, 2011 10:32 pm

    Hw must've went to the PEDOBEAR SCHOOL OF PEDOPHILES

  28. Master Eraqus on March 21st, 2011 10:45 pm

    I'm commander Shepard and… wait, no I'm not.

  29. Dr.Panda on March 22nd, 2011 12:10 am

    But…I'm a Diabetic…

  30. GazzyW007 on March 22nd, 2011 2:13 am

    I'm Commander Shepard and Rohypnol is my favourite drug… anywhere I can use it.

  31. Xenon_ktor on April 8th, 2011 4:16 pm

    good but not quite as good as the speculation as to what Tali's face looks like on the official Bioware forums

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