A little gambling in moderation is fine… but if you’re going to do it at least don’t gamble at your arch-nemesis’ casino!
By Dorkly, submitted by smashpro1
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on February 7, 2011 · 2:38 PM
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Categories: Bad Ideas, Failure, Genesis, Retro, Sega, Sonic the Hedgehog, Video Clips · Leave a comment (107 Comments) |
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And now a childhood rendition of how I played the carnival/gambling levels.
"Ten Minutes to gamble as the world's fastest hedgehog? THATS ENOUGH TIME THATS ENOUGH TIME OHSHI I ONLY HAVE TEN SECONDS I CANT GET PAST THE DRUM THINGS"
*Dies due to gambling habit*
Its like a history of sonic games…
What's the use? Once he gets out of there, he's just going to blow it all at once.
Oh man the memories! The horrible OCD-laden memories…
Alternate title:
Sega and the Fans.
Gambling is a problem in the gaming world. I think you'll find that Mario, Pokemon Trainer Red, and many others share the same addiction…
Why does Robotnik even build a casino if he turns all the inhabitants of Mobius into robots anyway?
Without the Sonic fanboys anyway.
He should probably stop gambling before he gets too fat.
And why is his image a symbol for losing? Is he that convinced of his track record? =P
I just hope red doesn't lose his mountain because of it.
I'm just so glad that place doesn't have any card games or else I'd never come out of there.
Too late.
I freaking Love this Mountain!
So you're playing your Genesis when suddenly Sega comes bursting through your door.
Sega: Are you Jim? Heh, good. It seems you've uh, acquired a substantial debt from our Casino Night Zone. I'll have to repossess your Genesis! *takes console from TV*
Jim: But it's just a game!
Sega: You didn't read the fine print! *drives off*
+1 for those who get the reference I'm parodying
I hear he's making a cameo in the Hangover sequel
Nope, I haven't been to the game corner since they replaced the slots with that Voltorb Flip load of Snubull.
There isn't even a gc in gen V!!!
YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE MY MOUNTAIN!!!
*motions to butler*
"Ready the Red Army, Watson"
"Yes, Master Red…"
*Watson assembles the Red Army*
<img src="http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/US_Military_parade_at_the_Imperial_Palace_Plaza.JPG" alt="">
YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!
SONIC HAS NO MITTENS.
It's for your own good, Red. They're trying to stop you pokemon trainers from getting small children addicted to gambling. Shame on you!
Mental note: if you DO choose to gamble, make sure the currency isn't YOUR ONE AND ONLY LIFE SOURCE.
But how else am I supposed to get a Porygon???
I just love it's signature move: "Makekidshaveseizures"
Maybe that's why Porygon is so rare, even in game…
A ten year old doesn't go as a small child??
…and this is why.
At this very moment, this has only been on Dorkly for 6 hours and it's already been hotlinked by Halolz.
DAMN YOU SHAWN AND YOUR IMPROMPTU UPDATES YET ODD NEGLECT OF MY SUBMISSIONS! *breathes*
…sorry, went to a dark place there.
*motions to Watson*
"Yes, master Red?"
"Watson, alert the navy and cavalry…"
<img src="http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/images/content/125856.jpg" alt="">
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_H2DePAZe2gA/SGPHEzzPIzI/AAAAAAAAC28/qAs1X6BdR1s/s400/BearCavalry.jpg" alt="" />
*pft*…you think Porygon is rare…can you even remember the last time you even saw a meteor shower and I came strolling along?
Go in a ten year old…
Come out a MAN!!!
Crap! I accidentally thumbed down!!!
Stupid Mac touchpad!!
Sorry man, I'll owe ya one
Sounds like the best explaination for the sudden release of Robotnik's gentlemen relish and a disappointing feeling of rejection.
This past summer, actually…
Also, remember the pokename game??? I JUST came up with one…
it's a rare pokemon, so it's 1/2 relevant…
Electric Type… Marsupial Pokemon…
Pikaroo! (Pikachu's Australian cousin???)
Picture a kangahkahn (did I spell that right? I've never been able to get it right) silhouette. Now add pikachu features (ears, tails, face, colors)
VOILA!!!
The Decline series
I wonder why they stopped making those (yeah the third did sort of wrap up the whole think with Enix going insane, but I don't see how that would set things back too badly.
With this weird mudkip that follows you.oh wait…..my bad*walks away*
And thus most of the mountain next door of reds is gone…
Hmmm…when do you plan on getting him back?
"When history was written, the final page will say… Victory was achieved by the United Mountains of Red"
George W. Bush
P.S.
a recreation of the battle where I reclaimed my mountain from the traitor, TheFancyPants:
<img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aEGjKKB3FwA/S0S2AckBB6I/AAAAAAAAAgw/avkIeKVbHDE/s320/RomanBattle.jpg" alt="" />
you mean… this fella:
<img src="http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/7/7c/Soviet_mudkip.jpg" alt="">
cos, you know, I'm Red, he's "Red"…
Hmmm….No…..He looks more blue….*looks in mirror and pulls another mudkip close* Well i guess that can be right*walks off into reds mountain*
A man with 4+'s in UNDER 20 MINUTES!
HUAAARGH!
Weeell… When I win a hundred rings on this slot machine! I'm only under -3023 rings so far!
You need help?*holds 3123 rings infront of sonic*any help at all?
if so…GET A GOOD GAME ALREADY!
You're going into the cave?
rel="nofollow">
Everything is going according to plan…
OR…
it's more likely than you think!
And remember, kids, if someone you love has a gambling problem, call 1-800-BETS-OFF.
*walks out with a lot of Knocked out pokemon*here take these*runs into reds house on his mountain*
I just noticed im close to 69 epeen….
Sonic, Sonic, Sonic…
When will you learn that the colorfully lit evil fortress always wins.
Watson! Could you investigate this man please? Thank you!
Oh, by the way… Watson's a Gerald Butler…
you know,
like this guy: http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/300_l.jpg
hmmm this could be bad….
*thinks*But i wanna live with you….
P.S.
Dear VyseRogueKing,
Come at me bro!
Sincerely,
Red (lol)
'RELAX, I'LL GET IT BACK.
I ALWAYS GET IT BACK.'
Lies and slander.
*sighs*
fine, you can stay in this: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31%2B4pKc7-…
you also have to earn your stay
read this, http://www.dorkly.com/article/10154/a-true-pokemo…
and you'll know what you must do
PINK?ON MY BED*remembers the butler*i mean ok
and ill work on that when i find some gold..unless…..*goes home and starts driving a truck with a gold palace on it* here ya go!
THE RED AND MUDKIP CHAT STREAM
what about… the other part…
also:
Pink? on your bed?
It's more likely than you'd think.
and be thankful that there aren't any creepers around too
oh gary being hung?*points at reds rival whoes hung* will this settle?
Is that what happened to you? You gambled so much you had to bet away your limbs, nose, and mouth?
nope.gif
Come back with 68 and we'll talk again.
I don't think Prof. Oak will appreciate that very much…
It's helpful
But I was referring to the part about Misty… at the end…
It's reason's like this that I'm happy I live in the sky.
*looks out window to see gary on a spearow and red, somehow, on a scyther*
Well fu-
ohhhh that*pulls green to red*i couldnt find misty……but i could find her…
I was thinking more along the lines of:
AIR FORCE!!!
<img src="http://www.richard-seaman.com/Aircraft/AirShows/Gidroaviasalon2006/Highlights/KnightsAndSwiftsWithHill_1.jpg" alt="" />
Generalissimo Mudkip, can you handle this mission?
I'll get it back……
SEE I'm in Arabian nights
SEE there's the black knight
SEE….. ah screw it I quit
you talking to me?or that other mudkip…you know…the red and black one?
I see your air force and raise you one Delphinus battleship!
<img src="http://www.maquettes-papier.net/forumenpapier/images/uploads/An0z/Delphinus__Skies_of_Arcadia__118.jpg">
You dare take on the King of Blue Rogues, the man who has discovered every wonder of the sky, and the one who escaped Valua, twice, on his own field? Back down or I shall charge up the moon stone cannon.
<img src="http://knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/2611/original/close_enough.png?1273013490" alt="">
P.S. Did you try Cerulean Cape?
I was implying you…
I see your Delphinus battleship and raise you 3 of these Super-Star Destroyers:
<img src="http://www.fantastic-plastic.com/SuperStarDestroyer-ArveyPhoto.jpg" alt="">
and Arceus for good measure!!!
This casino bites, anyway. Not a single stripper.
Two-Tailed Foxes getchu around 500 macaroons, but you know what really scores moola?
Spike-Fisted Echidnas, gets you atleast a Chaos Emerald or two.
*whispers to subordinate "bring me my brown pants"*
I'm sorry to say but as per the job description of the blue rogues I am not intimidated by your super star destroyers even though they are larger than my ship and because they are well armed I am now obligated to board them and steal them dry.
*subordinate hands over the brown pants*
Also I took down 2 out of six weapons of mass destruction with naught but a fishing boat and took down 3 others with the delphinus but seeing as I'm a sportsman I concede defeat and would like to open negotiations for a treaty…
*changes pants*
Good, so I don't have to send in over 9000 of these guys http://images.wikia.com/starwars/images/a/aa/Awin…
Because that would be a pain in the A-wing, if you know what I'm saying…
Anyways.. VICTORY IS MINE!!!
My conditions for your surrender:
You become a vassal state of the United Mountains of Red
You give me and Generalissimo Mudkip + 1 on all future comments for 30 days
You have to be Prof. Oak's… personal… assistant for a year
Do you accept these terms?
All except the last. I don't need Prof. Oak coming as quickly as he can at all hours of the night. Also… except for our hideouts the Blue Rogues don't… necessarily… have any land to become vassal states. In fact there isn't much land, period, in the entirety of our world. But we will give over 10% of all profits from future plunderings. How does that sound?
Phase 1; Win war, negotiate peace
Phase 2; ???
Phase 3: Profit!!!
Actually, the assistant job was to stand around by Diglett's Cave handing out the Flash HM to trainers with 10 Pokemon
Your political entity shall become a vassal, through which that 10% is gained. Should you attain land, then that land shall become the vassal land.
Is this agreeable?
Yeah gambling is what caused the "Decline Of Video Gaming", wouldn't you agree, Axel?
Uhh, Red?
I hate to break this to you now, but Team Rocket called. They said that you ran up a little tab back in Celadon City and you haven't paid up.
They gave you a week to pack your things, they're gonna take your home.
"Hey Sonic, remember all those times I kept falling off the cliff? Well that's nothing, because YOU have a gambling Problem!"
I think, my good friend, that you are forgetting that I defeated Team Rocket multiple times. I do not fear them, as they have disbanded. Clearly this group calling themselves "Team Rocket" is a hoax, a sham!!!
Their words mean nothing. But to make sure it will never happen again, I am more than willing to LEND you a few Voltorbs/Electrodes to deal with this problem.
Nevertheless, their casino still wants the money.
They decided to hire the Trolls Guild in order to evict you. TROLLS! ASSEMBLE!
They put Gary M.F. Oak in control of the whole effort. He'll be paying you a visit on Thursday.
These casinos are a bitch to pay back.
yes sir pleasure doing business with you. *walks away shamefully*
You forgot the part where GMFO got hanged (see my stream with Mudkip)
Also, they'll have to get past my Red Army, the navy, air force, bear cavalry and Space Armada seen above
But does the casino accept furry animals? Cos I've got a two-tailed fox, and a blue hedgehog capable of running faster than Mach1!
… you hung him?
What about steps 2 through 10?
This is japan, so unless those furry animals happen to come equipped with tentacles, you're shit out of luck.
And about those armies you got there… I've got one thing to say: Ninjas on Raptors.
You have one week
Y'know, that dude's my favorite Badnik. He doesn't even DO anything, he just waddles around minding his own business, and even if you TRY to mess with him, he don't take none of yo shit. He just keeps waddling.
Keep on waddling, Badnik man. Haters gonna hate, yo.
please elaborate on this
well at least your a better role model than gold kid you fought he actually got his togepi addicted before it was even hatched
I dont get it
<img src="http://www.deviantart.com/download/126208452/The_Red_Ribbon_Army_Wants_YOU_by_Cute_Eve.jpg">
I've got sharks with lasers playing card games on motorcycles
and of course they have tentacles. Even PUPPIES have tentacles in japan!
When did ribbons come into the equation. They seem to have stolen my army's name. I'd better get my lawyer…
*shouts off screen, per se*
"Hey 'Nick! I've got a case for ya!"
just came to mind when i read the red army comment
no biggie
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=473816…
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=473822…
(A bit weird considering it's directed to the person saying it, oh well)
Don't you also have a Bulbasaur? That might work.
Oak gave it to that girl, remember. Oh wait, Mudkip brought her to my mountain. So yes, I have access to a bulbasaur
If you DO choose to gamble, make sure not to gamble at a place owned by your arch nemesis who will in fact kill you with his slot machine.
I think he meant this: http://www.halolz.com/2010/07/14/fat-sonic/
But but but…
I thought Colors was pretty good…
SHE'S ONLY TEN YOU SICK FU-
…
Never mind…
http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=473859…
ok but those were onion rings who bets with onion rings
<img src="http://forum.ntreev.net/grandchase/cfs-file.ashx/__key/CommunityServer.Discussions.Components.Files/26/7357.SuperTengenToppaGurrenLagann.png" counter="JUST WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE!?">
*cough* I think I'll be swiping that mountain now, since you two were busy weakening eachother…
Edit: Oh, and I forgot to mention that his backups are Demonbane, Gunshinkyoushuu (from Demonbane) and the Getter Emperor.
hopefully he'll lose the third dimension at roulette…
Checked…..but ash was there then he started shooing me….
Technically I had to sell them to pay for the gambling money…
YOU'LL NEVER GET ME TO ELABORATE!
NEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVEEERRRR!
rel="nofollow">Killing people with slot machines in video games is more common than you'd think.
Proof: Tails is useful for something after all.