The graphics in Doom 4 will be truly amazing. It’s too dark to see them, but trust me… they’re there!
By Rocco03
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on January 31, 2011 · 11:25 AM
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Categories: Bad Ideas, Doom, ID Software, Irony, PC, Retro · Leave a comment (102 Comments) |
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Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
So the cover to Doom 4 is the Monolith from 2001: Space Odyssey ?
The monolith had a age restriction on it? Never saw it…
I guess this is what they mean with black humor…
Of course. The monkeys were flipping out because they were only 15 years old.
Not that ESRB ratings will prevent kids from getting violent video games OOOOH EDGY.
DOOM: now Blind-Friendly!
If you stare into the screenshot long enough, the screenshot stares back at you.
Of course, it was rated M for MONKEYS.
I know games are getting darker and edgier, but this is ridiculous!
I "See" What You Did There
little known fact: the monolith was really a large advertisement.
however, the aliens who made it had eyes that mostly detect electromagnetic radiation in the ultraviolet part of the spectrum, hence the colors not showing.
now, I know what you are thinking: "How did that thing end up on earth?" well, that is because of a rather interesting incident involving an airlock, the "monolith", a picture of an alien popstar and the alien equivalent of a hamster, but this site does not allow for posts long enough to tell it.
Shiver in horror as you are assaulted from all directions by monsters you cannot even SEE!
TREMBLE with excitement as you jump across a bottomless pit!
SUE with frustration and get your god damn 50 dollars back!
Don't leave us in the dark about it.
is that so~?
does… does that mean we are in soviet russia?
Well, imo Crisis 3 will have such superior graphics, that it will just fire an awesomeness lazer straight out of your monitor, instead of showing you "the game".
Also, link related to optional salvation: http://www.1227.com
Doom 5 will be so dark you won't be able to see the box, dvd, or even your PC without a flashlight.
if only the doom movie was so dark you couldnt see it… although you could probably tell the terrible story and acting from just listening to it
It's the Emporer's Grafics!
Only the the most 1337 can see it!
Doom, the highest employer of unrealistic shadows in the industry
I DON'T see what you did thar. :3
REAL men don't need their retinas when fighting monsters!
Just look at that marvelous HUD! Seriously, most games need to keep an aesthetically pleasing Heads Up Display like Doom 4's. It's engineered from the ground up to deliver vital information almost subconsciously to the player.
And don't get me started on the graphics.
to truly capture the darkness, you need at least 1 gb in VGA memory. did I mention it would be a good idea to overclock it?
Black? Pfft. Don't they know? Real is brown!
Now we are totally DOOMed! (or Gloom?)
What? You think this is dark? I can clear this game blindfolded!
Relevant:
<img src="http://cdn.duelinganalogs.com/comics/2011-01-24.png">
Where we're going, we don't need eyes!
offense: I like new vegas!
defense: the engine sucks
Reminds me of a review for Doom 3 I once saw from the movie's special features
"The game's dark, and I don't mean dark is in dark in tone, though it IS that as well. I mean dark as in 'I can't see a #$@!ing think in front of my face.'"
VG Cats: Because we have a comic strip to describe everything you say.
Don't you mean…
"EYE see"?
*Badumtsh*
…..NOW I understand!
This was obviously made to compare how the main character's sight is slowly diminishing with each game! As you can see he is obviously on his way to becoming blind and that's why each game is darker and darker. By the fourth game he's all but completely blind but by the fifth he will be.
So what happens with doom 5? Does it become pure white? Or will they have to wait until they can ship it with a black hole so that it actually sucks in the light around it?
Doom 5 will take place in a black hole.
Crap. Now I need a new graphics card.
And if it doesn't… it will
eventually
CAN YOU FEEL IT REACHING INTO YOUR SOUL?
Better Doom than bloom…
doom 4 now with multyplayer shoot ur friends because u cant see anything =D
rel="nofollow"> I think I found the storyline.
Talk about a shot in the dark
*watches as Mr.Popo appears from the darkness, Smiles and says "Hiiii" *
Actually he's just wearing darker shades, because darker shades are more hardcore.
That information right there just blew my face off.
Hey, let's look on the bright side: you won't spend a lot in electricity bills.
They're so beautiful!
If you squint hard enough you can see my hilarious joke
When id said that Doom 4 would have a new blind-firing mode, this is not what I had in mind.
This could be an alternate version.
Ahahaha…
….*Notices my Asian heritage*…
Hey wait a minute!
Just make sure to keep your grammar up to snuff. If you're lucky, we might only hit you with a Grammar Hammer. If your grammar is atrocious enough:
<img src="http://www.vgcats.com/comics/images/051107.jpg" alt="The PUNisher"/>
One side-effect of the CSI: Miameme.
EDIT: Also relevant:
<img src="http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=9396080fe12d3be9a0978b2964232c57" alt="Calvin and Hobbes"/>
Look at those goddamn graphics. Not even Crysis on the most BEEFED-UP PC could compete with that, and that copy of Doom 4 is on the fucking Wii.
Yeah, could you enlighten us? I consider myself quite bright, but even I can't tell what it is you see. Well, I think I know, but I've got shades of doubt about it.
doom 6 will make earth too dark to see anything, ever
There was absolutely nothing inside the screenshot. Nothing after nothing came bursting out.
But a shit ton on pest control…
<img src="http://rav.shishnet.org/60ca9750d16bd6d2694b3e443c77cd7f/Rumia.gif">
Ha, they'll never know what hit 'em!
I don't get it.
“No! I must kill the demons” he shouted The radio said “No, John. You are the demons” And then John was a zombie.
- DOOM: Repercussions of Evil (2002) by Peter Chimaera
Did you also see the three ninja that was hiding there?
i can see the vague shape of what looks like a grue
BOOM! ….wait…where's the headshot?
I couldn't, they were not on fire or wearing orange.
DooM 7 will have a flashlight that gives off no light to give players a challenge.
Grammar was killed that day along with your grandmother after an accident playing DooM 4.
Should I not have done that?
(Insert Gears of War joke here)
Also, 3DS port pl0x
My PC can only run this game at its lowest settings.
That would explain a lot.
I can play this game without even turning the TV ON!
DOOM: also dolphin friendly
Doom 8 will make a blackhole when you open it for the first time
They back-ported (Is that even a term?) it to the original Game Boy; it is the most beautiful thing you will see in your entire life.
Rumia is a Youkai of Darkness. She can make a ball of COMPLETE darkness around her. And fandom often portrays her saying "Is that so~?"
Oh shit.
One word: Sedatives. :D
Pffft, real is LENSE FLARE! (Also I just thought Lense Flare would be an awesome Final Fantasy spell name. :B )
There's no edges! I have been lied to! *shake fist*
They DE-ported it. (Get it? Cause it's black, and you talked about downgrading, andohforgetit…)
BEN!
Doom 9 will be full of oil.
Thats right, PHYSICAL DARKNESS
What the fuck are you even talking about these are the best graphics in forever.
Also fffffff-
Sorry I accidentally -1'd that, and I CAN'T GO BACK!
Doom 10 will rip out your eyes as an installation requirement.
never gonna get to my level, bro.
Doom 11 will not only have all of the above, it will turn the actual gamer invisible because of the lack of light
looks doom 4 is
*shades*
doomed to fail
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
ok that was bad
Don't worry, I will live with the knowledeg that it's SUPPOSED to say +3. :)
(Just kiddingI'mgonnaripoutyourintestines)
Doom 12 does that to everyone in the world
you would never do such a thing.
doom 13 just ends the whole universe
*rips out intestines*
Do what?
Three words: Don't use 'em.
sadly i did :( but i swear i will change that!
doom 12 does it to the omniverse
Doom 13 will make the definition of light erased
Hilarious thought: The screenshot for "Doom 1" is ALSO from Doom 2. So yeah, huge fail on whoever made it.