It’s actually sad that this is what one of my favorite games has become… but then again I do love them hats!

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 29, 2010 · 8:36 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (201 votes, average: 4.47 out of 5)
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Fashion Faux Pas, PC, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (89 Comments)


89 Responses to “HAT FORTRESS 2”

  1. IndianCHAN on December 29th, 2010 8:42 pm

    This submission was long overdue.

  2. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 8:42 pm

    Two misc items? On my heavy?
    It's more likely then you think

  3. Master Eraqus on December 29th, 2010 8:42 pm

    I thought it was all about trading, but whatever…

  4. Flamerider on December 29th, 2010 8:42 pm

    Demopan, an imagery of what is both the worst, and best, part of Team Fortress 2.

  5. Trogador on December 29th, 2010 8:51 pm

    It's like Grandma's Christmas Present Simulator. But with GUNS.

  6. Crazysam10 on December 29th, 2010 8:52 pm

    "Gabe's choice"

    Gabe, surly you should be choosing

    TO WORK ON EP 3!!!

  7. XPengooX64 on December 29th, 2010 8:54 pm


    The Engi shouldn't have that Candy Cane…

    But it truely is a shame that 95% of people no longer play, they just trade. :C

  8. SS4FireFox on December 29th, 2010 8:56 pm

    will you people stop FUCKING WHINING.

    Does a hat make you better at the game?
    Does my Bill's Hat miraculously make me a better sniper?
    Do you have to pay for a gun that insta kills?

    no,no,and fucking no.

    "I only have one bank account." Then don't fucking buy anything.
    There are no monthly fees, EVERY item that you can buy can be found for free or earned some other way.
    sure, theirs some things, like max's hat, or the frying pan, that you had to pay for, and can't get any more.

    but is there any difference between the pan and the shovel?
    does the severed head of a deranged rabitty thingy make me survive longer?

    No, it;s worse, as no people can tell that i;m nearby melleing because the pan makes a distinct sound.
    No, and now they can see me coming as the ears adds a good few inches to the player's height.

    so shut the fuck up- ya know, whatever. CRY SOME MOAR BABIES.


  9. Spolin on December 29th, 2010 8:56 pm

    I guess I'm the only person left who actually shoots people while wearing my hats…

  10. CapnJakeBob on December 29th, 2010 9:04 pm


    Next question, please :B

  11. TheAceOfSkulls on December 29th, 2010 9:05 pm

    He has been. Unfortunately he's using my design where it runs on the tears of your faithful consumers, meaning he has to delay it's release in order for it to function properly for the right amount of time.

    Why I developed that technology is not important. Go back to complaining about "Valve Time."

  12. CapnJakeBob on December 29th, 2010 9:05 pm

    What if he's offering it for trade?

    And if 95% of people are trading, that leaves the good 5% to play!

  13. MogZero on December 29th, 2010 9:09 pm

    Its Christmas day, you find a crate on 2fort, feeling joy you might get a hat of great stature, so you purchase a key. You ready the clicking of the crate, await for it to open, fingers crossed. The creaking sound of the crate as it opens drives you mad! Watching as it goes to the next screen, praying for that hat thats on fire…

    "MogZero Has unboxed a gunboats"

  14. Delta M.R.-59 on December 29th, 2010 9:16 pm

    What makes me a good Demopan?

  15. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 9:21 pm

    Shun the nonbeliever…SHUN

  16. Caelun_Niveus on December 29th, 2010 9:33 pm

    If I recall, some sets, like the Sharin Spy, DO affect gameplay.

  17. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 9:36 pm


  18. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 9:37 pm

    Another sweater, sweet

  19. MexicanJuice on December 29th, 2010 9:38 pm

    So in all honesty, am I the only one who doesn't see TF2 as all about hats? Because I have never actually come across an actual server with nothing but people trading hats and shit. Just people, y'know, playing. It just seems like a bunch of entitled jerks whining about how some cosmetic items ruined their game.

  20. Nyoron on December 29th, 2010 9:39 pm


  21. FlareKitsu on December 29th, 2010 10:05 pm

    I ATE all the hats. :B

  22. Master Eraqus on December 29th, 2010 10:12 pm

    Then we shall make more.

  23. Kbman on December 29th, 2010 10:14 pm

    It's around Christmas, and a friend of yours joins the server you're playing on. You're all having a grand old time, when he finds a Festive Winter Crate. In the spirit of the season, you decide to give him one of the festive keys you bought. He sends a quick thanks, and then…
    "wontonworms has unboxed an Unusual Larrikin Robin"
    (True story bro. It's flies, but still.)

  24. Master Eraqus on December 29th, 2010 10:17 pm

    You're right! This is bull- Huh, a hat? WHO WANTS TO TRADE HATS!

  25. meinmattias on December 29th, 2010 10:26 pm

    Fucking finally. I've been telling people that the point of TF2 is not to kill one another. Stop shooting people! You're only making it worse!

  26. CFW spplmj on December 29th, 2010 10:32 pm

    Hat Fortress 1 was way better.

    It didn't have that stupid gimmick of gameplay, just all hats, all the time

  27. Darkangelsv1 on December 29th, 2010 10:45 pm

    It's the day the Item Drop System resets. You decided to play for a while., hoping to get some items. Your brother joins your TF2 match on his Laptop.
    You two play. The items drop.

    "Darkangelsv1 has found Tan Paint and a Batallion's Backup"
    You decide that you should trade it, but nobody likes The Color of a Gentlemann's Business Pants, and you have no hats that get a noticeable color modification. You then look at your brother's screen

    "Knux has found a Magistrate's Mullet"

    The above is a true story that happened a few hours ago.

  28. Angemon300 on December 29th, 2010 10:45 pm

    3 bucks for a yellow rag? F*** YEAH I'LL BUY IT!

  29. FoxyMayo on December 29th, 2010 10:55 pm

    When hats first dawned on us, I thought "Okay, so Valve's gonna give us a bit of a way to define the characters. Gnarly. Maybe Valve will release more to further the emphasis of the personalities of each character!"

    That wish came true, with Valve's second hat release. I was pretty content with just that little number of hats. I didn't think the game needed any more.

    Then Valve put the game into the hands of a pack of witless cornhusks known as the "community". Hats were being created without any vision of the original style of the game in mind, and I watched as the game became a hat store. I watched as the game became a stampede of traders whilst the fields of battle became barren. I watched as messages flooded the chat window "TRADING MAX'S HEAD". And yet, amongst all this, I felt that Valve was laughing at us as they offered hats for anyone that buys a game or purchasable keys to crates that would only yield a small chance of getting a hat. It felt like Valve was treating us like rats or something. Only letting us have those coveted items if we were willing to part with our cash and if Valve was in a particularly good mood.

    And yet the only thing I could do was keep playing. Playing, and hoping that things will change. But until then, I'm still gonna try my damnedest to trade this Vintage Engineer's Cap for an Engineer hat I actually want. And maybe I'll pass my message along to that person. And maybe he'll do the same.

  30. MorningMoon on December 29th, 2010 11:04 pm

    And 95% to kill easily!

  31. MorningMoon on December 29th, 2010 11:11 pm

    TF2 will be about shooting people soon?
    HAT chance!

  32. Grammar Berzerker on December 29th, 2010 11:20 pm

    I never understood this whole hats thing (owns TF2 for the 360). Can anyone explain why it's such a huge bloody deal?

  33. DM1293 on December 29th, 2010 11:22 pm

    I can be the only person who stabs them in the back then. Or beats them in the head with a baseball bat. Whichever comes first.

  34. Fearow on December 29th, 2010 11:26 pm

    It appears someone has let loose the trolls. Giving +1's to all.

  35. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 11:28 pm

    You don't know until you get a hat.

    It's the truth

  36. JesterJoe on December 29th, 2010 11:30 pm

    D: I was trying to help all the people with 0 on their comment, but, alas, I accidently hit thumbs down on yours, please, 2 people, give him a thumbs up!

  37. Jade Catima on December 29th, 2010 11:41 pm

    It's sad because it's true… ;_;

  38. Jade Catima on December 29th, 2010 11:41 pm

    I can haz tl;dr version?

  39. SS4FireFox on December 29th, 2010 11:50 pm

    but, you don't have to pay for them. and.
    TYPO NO JUTSU! Saharan*

    they are harder to find, but, the point being, is that you don't have to pay for them.
    plus i don't relay like any of the set bonuses except the scout anyway.

  40. SS4FireFox on December 29th, 2010 11:51 pm



  41. KamikazeGible on December 30th, 2010 12:09 am

    Hats? Pssh! Focus on gameplay! *gets a hat* ….Oh my god, it's so cool! Anyone wanna trade?

  42. KamikazeGible on December 30th, 2010 12:11 am

    Looks like engie is in the Christmas spirit! Yay! Merry Christmas. God bless us, everyone! ….What? Christmas was how long ago?

  43. XPengooX64 on December 30th, 2010 12:16 am

    TF2! Now 95% off on sale! Wait, no…

    Also, 69 E-Peen GET :D

  44. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:19 am

    Yay! Thank you kind souls who have redeemed this post and others from the -1 trolls.

  45. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:24 am

    Congratz! Let me help you there by keeping your comment on the top :3

  46. ReploidArmada on December 30th, 2010 12:24 am

    Oh, you mean like mine?

  47. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:26 am

    D:…which? Coz if its a demo fro with flames/energy/plasma, I will be jelly

  48. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:28 am

    And I can be the only one that BLOWS UP IN YOUR FACE WITH EXPLOSIVES

  49. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:30 am

    By the way, just saying, I agree with the fact of you don't have to pay, but stay away from SPUF with that opinion, they will troll you hard

  50. ReploidArmada on December 30th, 2010 12:31 am

    It's not the demo fro, but it's a flaming stunt helmet. That I painted gold.

  51. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:52 am

    Still awesome

  52. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:53 am

    That's…basically it in a nutshell :P

  53. Tael on December 30th, 2010 1:25 am

    Ooh, sick burn with the rating.

  54. Tael on December 30th, 2010 1:25 am


  55. Tael on December 30th, 2010 1:27 am

    Yo dawg, I know what you're saying, and Ima let you finish, but my Stout Shako is worth 2 refined.

    2 REFINED.

  56. GullibleGregory on December 30th, 2010 2:15 am

    You know someone who's trading a max's head? Hook me up, brah!

  57. DM1293 on December 30th, 2010 2:19 am

    Mann Co. : Inadvertently creating world peace, one hat trade at a time.

  58. GullibleGregory on December 30th, 2010 2:21 am

    In my experience, trade servers tend to erupt into killing sprees no matter what you do…

    If only the New York stock exchange could be like that

  59. Zabrio on December 30th, 2010 2:30 am

    Heavy just realized Alien face huggers taste delicious

  60. Zabrio on December 30th, 2010 2:34 am

    Polycount sets requires hats making it to where hats DO affect game play, they just need to remove hats from the item sets, i have the Blackbox and Battalion's Back up and because i like my white bill's hat more than the soft-cap, i lose out on a set bonus because i am using hats for their original intention, to customize my look not to show what "build" my class is

  61. tstriker1 on December 30th, 2010 2:37 am

    No one can escape the hat lust, no one…

  62. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 3:56 am

    And I'm the one send arrows in their skulls.*

    *Fuck yeah! I got the Huntsman today in a random drop.

  63. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 4:06 am

    That happened to me.

    "I play Gang Garrison 2. I don't need hats, melee weapons, or 3D graphics! BITCHES!"

    Now it's…

    "I've got an extra Dalkoh's Bar!"
    "Anyone have an extra Eyelander?"
    "I need the Cloak and Dagger. I'll trade a Dalkoh's Bar for it!"
    "Anyone have a damn Mann Co. Key?"
    "Awesome! Now Soldier looks like Cat in the Hat!"

    And that all happened within the past few hours of me booting up the game. That's right, Trademania strikes almost instantly.

  64. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 4:08 am

    You know people with extra Eyelanders? You must show them to me!

  65. Zyquux on December 30th, 2010 4:19 am

    I haz extra Eyelanders! (No really, I do.)

  66. primedawg9170 on December 30th, 2010 4:47 am

    And I bodyshot my victims and taunt every time. Why? Cause people can't handle getting bodyshotted by a sniper wearing a vintage Towering Pillar of Hats waving at their deceased body.

  67. Banjo7J on December 30th, 2010 4:51 am

    Engi using Candy Cane?
    Heavy has 2 miscs?

  68. primedawg9170 on December 30th, 2010 4:51 am

    We're all happy to help mate.

  69. Dimomarg on December 30th, 2010 6:24 am


  70. Grashbar on December 30th, 2010 6:29 am

    Team Fortress 2 on PC have implemented trading.
    Over half the amount of TF2 players are after hats because they look good.
    And the rest is history.

  71. L3re7z on December 30th, 2010 6:37 am

    And that's why trading servers we're invented people! Stop trading your stupid hats on the Battlefield AND LEARN TO SHOOT SOMEONE!

  72. Fawful on December 30th, 2010 7:07 am

    Same for me, only with me it's the Spy. Shades are nice and all, but several of his hats are far nicer.

  73. chuckpebble on December 30th, 2010 7:47 am

    I have no idea why you say the Engi shouldn't have a candy cane, I'm guessing its something that he can't actually equip in game, but that line still cracks me up for some reason.

  74. Totema on December 30th, 2010 12:13 pm

    Plus that Hoovy's wearing two accessories at once.

    Maybe he forgot that he can't.

  75. Christopher Balcer on December 30th, 2010 12:28 pm

    A more accurate description of the community cannot be found anywhere else but right here.

  76. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 12:43 pm

    aw, it's ok, just ignore my comment…that was like…4 down D:

  77. Zyquux on December 30th, 2010 1:58 pm

    You are POOR AND IRISH!

  78. Jade Catima on December 30th, 2010 2:24 pm

    Thank you.

  79. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 2:25 pm

    You sir are a troll of the highest caliber. I tip my hat to you and give you a +1.

  80. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 2:28 pm

    You must give me one!

  81. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 2:28 pm

    And more.

  82. Kam_Fakami on December 30th, 2010 2:31 pm

    Let's throw rocks at the Irishman!

  83. Alpar on December 30th, 2010 9:07 pm

    Oh come on, I thought that joke was fashionable.

  84. JesterJoe on December 30th, 2010 9:18 pm

    They keep coming! Need more support!

  85. penguindude42 on January 1st, 2011 7:26 pm


    E for Everyone

  86. AManWithACloak on March 20th, 2011 10:07 pm

    I only have 2 hats. the mann co. one, and a donator hat.

  87. Kiaririkashi on June 27th, 2011 10:18 pm

    surly. is that meant as a fat joke or do i get to spelling hammer you?

  88. ZombieInvasion on July 14th, 2011 8:54 pm

    I am heavy hat guy and this is my hat. *places hate down* every stitch costs one dollar. It was made by engineer babies in vietnam. It costs 35 dollars to wear this hat for a life time.


    And thats how I invision the meet the heavy hat guy.

  89. SuperDeadPuddle on July 11th, 2012 5:05 pm

    Hey Puflwiz, why don't you take a short walk off a long pier,
    Make like a tree, and get out of here?

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