MACHOKE used POUND! (comic)

Somewhere this Pokemon battle went horribly, HORRIBLY wrong.
A DirtPony comic, submitted by Mauricio

Blog Widget by LinkWithin



Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 28, 2010 · 11:46 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (512 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
Categories:
Adult Situations, Artistic, Awkward Moments, Chillaxin', Disturbing, Drugs & Alcohol, It's A Trap!, Nintendo, Pokémon, Sequential Art, Sneak Attack, Special Attacks, Weak Points

· Leave a comment (168 Comments)





 

168 Responses to “MACHOKE used POUND!”

  1. spplmj on November 28th, 2010 11:50 am

    OBJECTION!

    Leer doesn't confuse, it lowers defense

    wrong comic is wrong!

  2. TehVortex on November 28th, 2010 11:54 am

    If the Day Care Couple saw this, they'd definately know where eggs come from.

  3. bastardsweater on November 28th, 2010 11:55 am

    I could swear I've seen this in Halolz before… Oh well.

  4. Flamboyancy on November 28th, 2010 11:57 am

    Am I the only one who noticed…

    The Machoke has 5 moves?

  5. Sebbles on November 28th, 2010 11:57 am

    How dare Machoke be able to know five moves! SLEEP POWDER, CHARM, HARDEN, LEER and POUND!? PREPOSTEROUS!

  6. TehVortex on November 28th, 2010 12:01 pm

    Well that, plus Machoke knows 5 moves, 4 of which he can't actually learn. Also, Machoke is missing his championship belt (though it could be saucily laying on the bedroom floor). He's also drawn with 3 fingers, even though he actually has five.
    And weirder still, a Machoke has managed to date-rape a Clefairy all under the guise of a pokemon battle? The respective trainers have followed them through the sunset into the bar and then to the bedroom without once calling 'return'? Though funny, a lot this comic is in error.

    …But maybe I'm being too picky…

  7. Dimomarg on November 28th, 2010 1:05 pm

    Machoke Used Pound! It's FUCKING effective!

  8. CdiGanon on November 28th, 2010 12:07 pm

    It seems that Machoke really
    -sunglasses-
    … put the moves on her

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  9. Zabrio on November 28th, 2010 12:12 pm

    machoke looks like a dinosaur o.O

  10. Link4all on November 28th, 2010 1:17 pm

    Now honestly, what's more disturbing? The bottom left panel or the face of the "girl" trainer in the bottom right panel?

  11. Vlauer on November 28th, 2010 12:21 pm

    Oi, this Machoke must have some sex problems, If he doesn't have place for String Shot…

    btw second trainer is wearing a skirt, what the hell.

  12. Flamerider on November 28th, 2010 12:23 pm

    Alright, you deserve that one, these jokes are hard to make so…

  13. Leo E. on November 28th, 2010 12:34 pm

    In a comment somewhere.

  14. Trogador on November 28th, 2010 12:43 pm

    Wow, look at Machoke's nipples when he uses harden… X(

  15. Jimmy on November 28th, 2010 12:46 pm

    I probably posted this one too a while back…I vaguely remember an instance that I had…DAMN YOU SHAWN!!!

  16. Dracojounin7 on November 28th, 2010 12:51 pm

    Machoke used Gunk Shot!

  17. sailoryue on November 28th, 2010 12:52 pm

    thats a girl? i thought it was a crossdressing guy :S

  18. Jimmy on November 28th, 2010 12:56 pm

    Did somebody say dinosaurs? :D
    rel="nofollow">

    Dinosaurs Dubbing.

  19. gomegron on November 28th, 2010 1:00 pm

    Those are some ugly 12-year-olds. XD

  20. Yoshi_Dino on November 28th, 2010 1:18 pm

    You could probably cut glass with those nipples.

  21. Yoshi_Dino on November 28th, 2010 1:21 pm

    Oh they know where the eggs come from, They always knew.

  22. Yoshi_Dino on November 28th, 2010 1:23 pm

    At least this is better compared to ditto rape, you don't get to sleep through that,EVER!

  23. Happy_Killmore on November 28th, 2010 1:26 pm

    I guess the sleep powder was a hold item…

  24. MasterLuigi452 on November 28th, 2010 1:27 pm

    Please tell me that did not just happen…
    SOMEONE GET ME AN EYE BLEACHER!!!

  25. CakeBard on November 28th, 2010 1:29 pm

    once you go Machoke, you'll dun be broke…

    Try a Clefairy, feel like Tyler Perry… I got nothin…

  26. Levi on November 28th, 2010 1:44 pm

    Machoke cannot learn sleep powder nor can it learn charm, and leer doesn’t confuse therefore this comic is wrong

  27. Darkangelsv1 on November 28th, 2010 1:48 pm

    That, and Sleep Powder is never Super Effective but who the fuck cares!? Rule of Funny, man!

  28. Darkangelsv1 on November 28th, 2010 1:49 pm

    0_0
    Nasty.

  29. MoG on November 28th, 2010 1:58 pm

    It coulda been worse. one trainer coulda had a wailord, the other a skitty.

  30. VJoe10[8] on November 28th, 2010 2:03 pm

    Somewhere this Pokemon battle went horribly, HORRIBLY RIGHT.

  31. pojo458 on November 28th, 2010 2:07 pm

    GI-GIT-TY;-)

  32. pojo458 on November 28th, 2010 3:10 pm

    Did he use string shot after harden?

  33. Totema on November 28th, 2010 2:19 pm

    What's worse is that "Lowers defense" probably would work better for this…

  34. Axel X on November 28th, 2010 2:29 pm

    I suppose that's another way of using Bide.

    It's next turn it will release it's energy!

  35. DCMN on November 28th, 2010 2:30 pm

    5 moves? WTF HAX

  36. werewolfsfury on November 28th, 2010 2:55 pm

    another thing is that clefairy is in the fairy egg group while machop is in the humanshape group so machoke wouldn't be interested in the first place what's even worse is that without the belt on to restrict it's power it's not holding back 0_0.

  37. Sir_Nox on November 28th, 2010 3:04 pm

    CLEFAIRY woke up! CLEFAIRY is all out of PP! CLEFAIRY Struggled! CLEFAIRY was hurt by the recoil!

  38. werewolfsfury on November 28th, 2010 3:11 pm

    clefairy was badly poisoned!

  39. Dr.Panda on November 28th, 2010 3:24 pm

    I guess this Machoke didnt feeling Machoking his chicken tonite….

  40. BoxeyBrown on November 28th, 2010 3:27 pm

    They must protect the children from the truth!

  41. BoxeyBrown on November 28th, 2010 3:27 pm

    Very good question my friend.

  42. BoxeyBrown on November 28th, 2010 3:28 pm

    Hmm…

  43. BoxeyBrown on November 28th, 2010 3:30 pm

    I think it was when trainer 1 used a fighting type against a normal type. Machoke was going to win that battle one way or another.

  44. HadouKirby on November 28th, 2010 3:33 pm

    I'm pretty sure Machoke doesn't know Harden, too.

  45. Zabrio on November 28th, 2010 3:36 pm

    OMFG XD

  46. Dimomarg on November 28th, 2010 3:38 pm

    Not exactly whited, she was painted white.

  47. zeldafan8 on November 28th, 2010 3:39 pm

    NO! Without the belt his power level goes to…OVER 9000!!!!!!!

  48. Dimomarg on November 28th, 2010 3:40 pm

    and now you brought to my mind anime rape scenes…
    (-5689115 brain cells)

  49. primedawg9170 on November 28th, 2010 3:44 pm

    uh bad news mate, that second trainer is supposed to be a girl.

  50. primedawg9170 on November 28th, 2010 3:48 pm

    nah because Machoke already has 5 moves he can do and that's one too many. He'll just keep on using pound until he runs out of PP.

  51. Hatley96 on November 28th, 2010 4:00 pm

    MACHOKE used POUND!

    Both trainers fainted!

  52. AuraMaster on November 28th, 2010 4:20 pm

    Clefairy was given a Potion to apply every week to the affected area.

  53. AuraMaster on November 28th, 2010 4:21 pm

    Runs out of PP? Is Clefairy's snatch possessed by Lorena Bobbitt?

  54. AuraMaster on November 28th, 2010 4:22 pm

    Screw glass, go for the diamonds.

  55. AuraMaster on November 28th, 2010 4:25 pm

    When your Pokemon idea is too awesome, Nintendo steals it and nerfs it.

    When you post an epic image in the comments, Mauricio submits it to Halolz and takes all the credit.

  56. AuraMaster on November 28th, 2010 4:26 pm

    Clefairy chicks are out of this world.

  57. talt64 on November 28th, 2010 4:31 pm

    Bul Leer drops down defense :2

  58. Red on November 28th, 2010 4:54 pm

    I dunno what's scarier;
    Machoke and Clefairy
    or that "girl"

  59. Bobomberman on November 28th, 2010 5:03 pm

    Apparently walking into sunsets brings you to a rave….

  60. TheHighscore on November 28th, 2010 5:09 pm

    DAWN IS A MAN. *cuts out eyes*

  61. Shatman on November 28th, 2010 5:10 pm
  62. Rothide on November 28th, 2010 5:21 pm

    This is wrong, on so… SO many levels…

    Time to go gouge out my mind's eye…

  63. Gaytits on November 28th, 2010 5:21 pm

    That post combined with your avatar is not only funny but fitting.

  64. DM1293 on November 28th, 2010 5:42 pm

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!

  65. DM1293 on November 28th, 2010 5:44 pm

    So…are the Trainers going to call their Pokemon back or just stand by and watch? Cause then this comic goes from horribly wrong to horribly creepy wrong.

  66. Jackthehedgy on November 28th, 2010 6:20 pm

    I call hax. That pokémon has 5 moves.

  67. penguindude42 on November 28th, 2010 6:25 pm

    inb4 Bridget

  68. YourPalHal on November 28th, 2010 6:25 pm

    EVERY male knows Harden, whatever they are!

    And some female too… *cough*

  69. YourPalHal on November 28th, 2010 6:27 pm

    Hey! Wouldn't YOU be confused by that look?

  70. penguindude42 on November 28th, 2010 6:30 pm

    Only if you DON'T want it. After all, Ditto can mate with anything!

    ANYTHING.

  71. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:34 pm

    And the professors too…?

  72. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:34 pm

    Lucius.

  73. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:35 pm

    So what would that make Mew?

  74. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:36 pm

    What if the Skitty was a Ditto and the Wailord was a Spah?

  75. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:38 pm

    Then what would Struggle be like..?

  76. Alpar on November 28th, 2010 6:39 pm

    And thus, a candidate for gen 5 was born.

  77. XPengooX64 on November 28th, 2010 7:11 pm

    MACHOKE used EXPLOSION!
    CLEFAIRY fainted.
    MACHOKE stole 200P after winning.

  78. Dr.Panda on November 28th, 2010 8:13 pm

    Clefairy needs an adult

  79. qazzyqaz on November 28th, 2010 7:15 pm

    Bullshit!
    That Machoke knows more than 4 moves.

  80. Neentendow on November 28th, 2010 7:52 pm

    The real ones are bound up in a closet.

  81. TehVortex on November 28th, 2010 7:58 pm

    It turns out Machoke isn't the only one who can use submission.

  82. Navy_Pheonix on November 28th, 2010 8:59 pm

    WHAT IS THIS!?!?

    Clefairies and Machokes aren't from the same egg group! >:O

  83. TehVortex on November 28th, 2010 8:00 pm

    If only Pokemon Black/White had that as actual in-game text…if only.

  84. Flamerider on November 28th, 2010 8:11 pm

    Don't know why they both look disgusted, this was all the plan of the Machoke's trainer, was it not he who called the shots?

  85. Neentendow on November 28th, 2010 8:31 pm

    What are the trainers so grossed about? One trainer must have taught Machoke those moves intentionally!

  86. Neentendow on November 28th, 2010 8:32 pm

    What, did he just look in the future, see who he was fighting and got a dirty thought?

  87. pirate_slug on November 28th, 2010 8:34 pm

    There so many things wrong with this!! I mean c'mon lets be mature…Machoke can't learn sleep powder that's ridiculous!

  88. Neentendow on November 28th, 2010 8:36 pm

    Or in this case:
    Trainer used Future Sight!
    Trainer used Nasty Plot!

  89. NoChorus on November 28th, 2010 9:06 pm

    I guess we found out that the best thing about Clefairies is that they can't say no.

    Then again…they weren't capable of doing so in the first place.

  90. Grammar Nazi Ghost on November 28th, 2010 9:33 pm

    rel="nofollow"> rel="nofollow">

    Yes, I'm aware of the irony.

  91. Vosur on November 28th, 2010 9:33 pm

    And as of this moment, you hold a +69 post. What're you going to do now?

  92. Deep Thought on November 28th, 2010 9:35 pm

    Machoke refused to listen?

  93. CdiGanon on November 28th, 2010 9:44 pm

    I'm going to BECOME A POKEMON MASTER

  94. NoChorus on November 28th, 2010 10:06 pm

    Well played.

  95. Ataeru on November 28th, 2010 10:07 pm

    So you are going to stay on a mountain until someone challenges you?

  96. CdiGanon on November 28th, 2010 10:12 pm

    Yes. That is the plan.
    With a laptop of course.
    And wireless internet. TF2 will be needed to pass the time

  97. ZegenRuki on November 28th, 2010 10:13 pm

    I'll say something went wrong… Who sends out a normal type to battle a fighting type? Everyone knows fighting types are only weak against psychic and flying!

  98. werewolfsfury on November 28th, 2010 10:43 pm

    that won't do… we need adamantium!

  99. iateacrayon on November 28th, 2010 10:47 pm

    The really disturbing part is that he HAS 5 MOVES! ABOMINATIONNNNN

  100. primedawg9170 on November 28th, 2010 10:55 pm

    Spycrabs, what else?

  101. Zyquux on November 28th, 2010 11:18 pm
  102. BasketGT on November 28th, 2010 11:46 pm

    Your Mother.

  103. meinmattias on November 28th, 2010 11:53 pm

    Pokémon: It's for kids!

  104. DM1293 on November 29th, 2010 12:42 am

    Y'know come to think of it, nobody said this particular Clefairy was female…then again, nobody said they had a gender either…

  105. Totema on November 29th, 2010 12:46 am

    Oh god. You linked to TV Tropes. Now nobody is going to comment on anything on Halolz for, like, a month. Nice job breaking it hero.

  106. Junocis on November 29th, 2010 1:00 am

    And thus rule 34 claims another piece of my childhood….woe is the future.

  107. Neentendow on November 29th, 2010 1:10 am

    THE NIPPLES ARE NOW DIAMONDS.

  108. GuessWho666 on November 29th, 2010 1:16 am

    I suggest a ban on links to TV Tropes. I waste enough of my time as it is.

  109. Zyquux on November 29th, 2010 1:48 am
  110. Totema on November 29th, 2010 2:12 am

    Of course I did. TV Tropes has ravaged my delicate mind for years. I can no longer help it.

  111. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:24 am

    Oh f… You took mah comment! D8

  112. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:25 am

    *head-screen*

  113. Totema on November 29th, 2010 2:34 am

    Agreed.

  114. Yoshi_Dino on November 29th, 2010 2:39 am

    Machoke is an adult.

  115. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:43 am

    YOU, sir, are one e-peen from the revered 69. I shall help you out.
    +1

  116. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:48 am

    Your avatar. It fits.

  117. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:49 am

    Oh god, it never ends! DX>

  118. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 2:50 am

    That actually happened to me on my Gold once. .___. I were 10 and didn't know about the badge level limit.

  119. Zyquux on November 29th, 2010 2:54 am

    Alert! The enemy has taken our comment!

  120. primedawg9170 on November 29th, 2010 3:15 am

    I'd say the girl.
    You just know she'll be in your nightmare.

  121. goldensun87 on November 29th, 2010 5:08 am

    LOL! I first saw this on the Fatherland!

  122. Hejiru on November 29th, 2010 7:20 am

    Why was this comment negatized? Tsk, tsk, read your Pokedex, people.

  123. Hejiru on November 29th, 2010 7:24 am

    But it can't mate with another Ditto… Hm….. Suspicious.

  124. ZeikHunter on November 29th, 2010 12:08 pm

    Sent some to Sugar Mama!

  125. AuraMaster on November 29th, 2010 12:39 pm

    They took yer cawment!

  126. AuraMaster on November 29th, 2010 12:41 pm

    I'm on a Rapidash.

  127. Jade Catima on November 29th, 2010 1:20 pm

    How did it manage to do that? It's nowhere near as bad as Uncyclopedia. Uncyclopedia rapes your childhood, your perspective, your mother, and your cat, all at the same time.

  128. Patrick on November 29th, 2010 2:58 pm

    This comic would be almost valid if the trainers were wearing Generation III (Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, LeafGreen, FireRed) attire. In Generation III, Machoke could learn Metronome via Move Tutor, which would allow him access to those 5 moves, though he would only need it for 4. And I say almost valid because Leer will not confuse, it will lower defenses. I guess lowering defenses still works in this situation. Also, Sleep Powder will never be super effective. It’s a non-damaging, status inducing move. Being “charmed” is not a status. Clefairy’s attack stat is sharply reduced; a more suitable attack would be Attract, and it would be immobilized by love. I take that back, this comic isn’t close to valid.

    FAIL.

  129. HadouKirby on November 29th, 2010 3:12 pm

    What if someone with a Miltank shows up?

  130. HadouKirby on November 29th, 2010 3:13 pm

    It's only implied that the Machoke is a male.

  131. Flamerion on November 29th, 2010 3:16 pm

    I they need kids to fill their pokedex (inculdong 3 starters) then they must never know

  132. Jade Catima on November 29th, 2010 3:41 pm

    And +403927823092 dead puppies.

  133. GIR on November 29th, 2010 4:40 pm

    Wait…Machoke had 5 moves….WTF?!
    (prepares to be bombarded with -1's for some reason)

  134. Red on November 29th, 2010 5:22 pm

    That's why I don't sleep at night

  135. TheAceOfSkulls on November 29th, 2010 5:34 pm

    The baby or just the aftereffects?

  136. SonicsmyName on November 29th, 2010 5:45 pm

    Dey tuk mah cuwment!

  137. Odd Troll on November 29th, 2010 6:28 pm

    Rule 34: no exceptions!

  138. Odd Troll on November 29th, 2010 6:29 pm

    Wait, is that Machoke doing a Fawnz immitation when he used Charm?

  139. YourPalHal on November 29th, 2010 6:58 pm

    …and it's only implied that the Clefairy is a female…

  140. VJoe10 on November 29th, 2010 8:54 pm

    Exactly.

  141. Nyoron on November 29th, 2010 10:59 pm

    I guess clefairy likes….

    *Sunglasses*

    to MACHOKE

  142. goldensun87 on November 30th, 2010 4:05 am

    Machoke used String Shot!
    Clefairy's speed fell!
    Machoke used Horn Drill!
    Clefairy fainted!

  143. Tobikun on November 30th, 2010 8:25 am

    It looks like Sugar Mama was [url

  • Tobikun on November 30th, 2010 8:28 am

    You could also say it's because a trainer used an evolved form against a stage one pokemon. That usually doesn't end well for the stage one.

  • Tobikun on November 30th, 2010 8:31 am

    I think that the sleep powder was a held item although it could have been wearing a muscle belt……

  • demibank on November 30th, 2010 9:27 am

    Since when could pokemon use 5 moves in battle?

  • Totema on November 30th, 2010 12:53 pm

    Nah. 4Chan did that. I got better.

    Ah hell, I did it again.

  • Alpar on December 1st, 2010 4:02 pm

    Thank you.

  • CNightmare072 on December 1st, 2010 7:55 pm

    It's not rape if she can't use Disable.

  • CNightmare072 on December 1st, 2010 7:56 pm

    It's not rape if she cant use Disable :P

  • XPengooX64 on December 2nd, 2010 12:32 pm

    Pardon me sir, but I believe you accidentally put a great deal of FAIL in your comment.

  • MetaPwn on December 2nd, 2010 9:05 pm

    I counted and uhh… THE MACHOKE HAS FIVE FREAKING MOVES. WTF… also LEER DOESNT CONFUSE!!!!!!!

  • ZeikHunter on December 4th, 2010 7:11 pm

    Mmmyes, quite.

  • GazzyW007 on December 11th, 2010 9:18 pm

    I'm guessing that drill pierced through something.

    *Boo'd off internet*

  • ShadowSpectre on December 21st, 2010 11:02 am

    Rule 34 Triumphs again!

  • TheDasilva1 on December 21st, 2010 8:00 pm

    I can`t let you object that!

  • GazzyW007 on January 15th, 2011 8:45 pm

    Clearly, you don't belong on the internet. Go and make an impact on someone's life, you reality lurker!

  • GazzyW007 on January 15th, 2011 8:46 pm

    Clefairy hasn't been fucked like that since she was in an egg.

  • Cactuspuncher on January 18th, 2011 12:04 pm

    Nothing…nothing…nothing is safe from Halolz!

  • TheJake867 on January 23rd, 2011 1:16 pm

    machoke just couldnt resist DAT ASS

  • Cactuspuncher on February 10th, 2011 12:14 pm

    Hmm.. reminds of that Oak/Ditto accident

  • penguindude42 on April 10th, 2011 3:23 pm

    Well, that's what you get for living at the top of a mountain, now isn't it?

  • OkUrRight on July 13th, 2011 3:04 pm

    now that was funny. i'm surprised he wasn't into jynx.

  • elephantboyq on September 9th, 2011 8:57 pm

    "She" is really a guy

  • elephantboyq on September 9th, 2011 9:00 pm

    Congratulations! Your Machoke learned Hydro Pump!

  • elephantboyq on September 9th, 2011 9:01 pm

    They are now!

  • elephantboyq on September 9th, 2011 9:03 pm

    No, he used Hydro Pump

  • elephantboyq on May 9th, 2012 6:05 am

    something is a little strange about the trainer on the right

  • Feel free to leave a comment...
    and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!