In all fairness, he buys his gum by the pallet at Costco.
Still… there’s fashionably late, and then there’s FASHIONABLY LATE.
By Matt G-raffe
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 6, 2010 · 6:27 PM
   (215 votes, average: 3.80 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Duke Nukem, Motivational, PC, Playstation, Strike A Pose, Too Much Free Time, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (99 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Who's bright idea was it to let Duke test out the prototype for Stride Gum?
Isnt the quote "Im here to kick ass and CHEW bubble gum…"?
Chew not Blow.
COME ON TROLLS. IM READY FOR YOU
Doesn't he say "chew" not "blow"?
Anyway, I'm not the only person that lost all interest in this game… congrats, 3D realms. You screwed the pooch.
13 years worth of gum and that for just how long it took read the caption!
*runs with action pose against Puflwiz*
TRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOLL COMBAAAAAAT!
It's ok guys, they will finally release the new game… for Play Station 1
Whoever wants a new console version will have to wait some more years
Sorry about that. I won't do it again.
So, Duke Nukem, Chuck Norris, Captain Falcon, Bang Shishigami, Bruce Campbell, The Most Interesting Man in the World, and That Guy from the Old Spice Commercials walk into a bar…..
This isn't a setup for a joke, this actually happened, and the resulting manliness caused what scientists have called "The Big Bang"
Hm… I commented that, as many minutes ago as you…
…Who ninja'd who?
So Duke Nukem Forever came out before HL2: Episode 3?
Welp.
You forgot Saxton Hale
I came…
to kick ass and chew bubble gum.
Well who did you think was the bartender? Can't have a manly bar without a manly bartender.
YYYYEEAA!!
And the cast of The Expendables
SAAAAXXXTOOONN HAAAAALLEEEEEE!
And I'm all out of ass.
Me?
3D Realms: Spends 12 years working on Duke Nukem Forever and is unable to finish even half of it.
Gearbox: Finishes Duke Nukem Forever immediately after getting it, releases a demo, and promises the game to be released next year.
Holy shit, 3D Realms is incompetent.
And release date for Episode 3 was once again delayed
Since Duke Nukem Forever was first announced, Mario has appeared in over 58 video games. Seriously.
Duke Nukem ForNever. Yeah, that's what it is. They changed engine of the game so many times earlier, that even when they reanounced it I still don't believe it will be released…
He makes beer out of bread… WITH HIS BARE HANDS!
Grats on 69
…. this seems fammilliar…
…
<img="http:// ]http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/249/4/5/copy_paste_by_t_c_c-d2y6mtm.png[/IMG]" target="_blank"> <a href="http://http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/249/4/5/copy_paste_by_t_c_c-d2y6mtm.png>” target=”_blank”>]http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/249/4/5/copy_paste_by_t_c_c-d2y6mtm.png>
I came to chew ass and… wait, what?
ASSES ON MOTORCYCLES!!
Well, if Starcraft II can finally come out after 11 years, there's hope for Duke yet.
and that's why 3D Realms is no more.
But he don't needs beer then, people get drunk with his BARE MANLINESS!
Holy **** i didn't even notice!
I leave the internet for a week and Duke Nukem Forever gets confirmed.
…Grammar Nazi? Care to remedy the grammatical error Saxostev made?
Gordon Freeman is jealous.
No one is tough enough to take the gum away from him so he's still chewin.
Why thank you for pointing that out, Alpar. I will correct Saxostev's mistake in the most eloquent way possible.
*aims Luger at Saxostev*
YOU FORGOT TO FUCKING CAPITALIZE 'AND", BITCH!
*BANG*
You were gone too? Strange coincidence…..
More like BEAR MANLINESS!
Error No.1 Never start a sentence with "and".
Error No.2 The first word in the sentence was not capatalized.
I'm not perfect, but I can spot the mistakes of others.
Is it bad that I think that this might actually be good if it comes out next year?
STOP STEALING MY CATCHPHRASE!
UMAD?
lol, and now it's gone.
It costs 400 million dollars to make this game…. for 12 years.
-1 TROLLS SAVE THE DAY
… Wait what?
Developers: "Yes! We have the basic concept for Duke Nukem Forever! It will now come out on the PS1! …Oh, those are out of date? Fine then, PS2! …Those are old too? Damn it!"
Actually, on the internet, starting a sentence with the word "And" is acceptable.
And this is precisely why people who can't use proper grammar (other than Yattaro and MasterLuigi as exceptions) do not exist on Halolz.
Including remakes, I assume?
And cool.
(CWUTIDIDTHAR?)
Not excited. Duke Nukem is the rickroll of video games. He’s never gonna give us up but he has let us down…..
you see what happens when you leave people to there own devices?
<Insert 'X happened while DNF was in development' joke here>
I should probably get an avatar with a top hat and monocle before anyone notices i got 69…
Ahh, I am in the same boat as you, my friend.
Duke's the man about town.
Kickin' ass, takin' names, chewin' gum, AIN'T NO GUM!
Kickin' names, chewin' ass.
This probably made Gabe Newell do a double take.
It's funny because it's about procrastination
HEY!
now that ur back, can you take ur chicken back?
geez im tired of cleaning after that thing…
WHO GIVES YOU MINUSES!?
Freeman is HELLA jealous. He'll never as rich or famous as Duke Nukem, who won two Oscars, went to the moon, and wrestles shark in his downtime. What does he get?
Aliens, cataclysms, a Government Agent who shoves him wherever he feels like, and crabs.
Recipe for Duke Nukem Forever:
1 part lazy development company
3 engines
3 parts machismo
20 pounds of cheesy one liners
Awesome Weaponary
ALIENS!
1 not-lazy development company
1 lawsuit
Babes, as much as you need to taste
Combine ingredients in gaming society for 13 years. Serve nuclear-fire hot.
See gum used to be like 50 cents or sometimes even 25 cents, but no no candy companies are charging 1.25 for a measly package of the stuff.
Dukes not settling for those outrageous prices.
Okay, how did I get two -1s JUST for making a small lol-filled comment? It's not even off-topic.
I hate what Halolz is becoming. This is why I don't want a lot more members…
That's the hard thing about sending Duke on a mission. You have to say no when he asks for Bubblegum.
I would point out a grammatical error in your comment, but I shall refrain from doing so, for fear of a riot. Besides, as far as I know, it is correct in 3 countries as opposed to another 42 that it isn't.
Back to Oblivion, troll! Go back to guarding that bridge. Go… Ohh, wait, your a nice troll, thats ok then.
Don't worry, all the ones who have been here from the start, will stand beside you.
STOP TELLING ME TO DO THINGS!
Coincidence?
Holy Shit. you're at 83!
I just need 1 more to 69… MEDIC!
I always bet on Duke!
The other day I was at the casino and the man said, "Place your bets!" and I said "Duke!".
and then he was like "Sir, you have to bet on red, black, odds or even or a number." and I was like, "I bet on Duke!" and he was all, "Sir, you can't bet on Duke"
and then I said, "I Always Bet On Duke!"
I can't believe I got kicked out. Talk about fucking unprofessional.
Happy 69ing day!
…Then Melvin Ishtar walked in and challenged them all to a childrens card game.
Your avatar makes me rofl XD.
Well that's what you need to do if you want record sales on release day. 'Develop' a game for 13 years, and send a company plummeting into liquidation during the process.
Disney's Epic Mickey. Prof. Layton of Level-5. Take note.
Thank you, sir. It feels good to be among the ranks of Gentlemen.
*runs crying to the corner*
I'm sorry for being new here.
Congrats for the new rank! Welcome to the club, this is your trophy and this is your broom
Plus the two guys from Lethal Weapon.
Oh don't worry, there are no riots today
By newer people, I meant newer people who'd suck.
You don't count.
Thought this was Black Mesa Source for a second.
Oh wait.
I've liked Gearbox ever since Half life opposing force. And 2K have always had some good games.
so it turns out you were the one who couldn't let them do that all along! >:U
Duke Nukem is so badass… he can kick with both his feet AND STILL WALK AROUND.
Thanks
Leave for a month. Lets see what we can do with Diablo 3…
Seems like it. Didn't mean to, must've been subconscious.
I'm an internet resident, not a miracle worker.
There's gonna be a joke in the game parodying the long development time.
I fucking called it.
Episode 3 was released while DNF was-
OH WAIT
YOU SEE THIS SHIT GABE
When is the next scheduled riot?
Moar liek MAN BEARLINESS
Sep 16 =b
yea…a nice troll…..
Show of hands, who honestly thinks this will actually be released and this isn't just another bait and switch. *conspiciously keeps hand down*
It's ironic because Duke Nukem Forever never c…
Oh great, they ruined a perfectly good webcomic!
No, not really, Zangief would cream himself and then proceed to break everyone's arms.
http://images.wikia.com/yugioh/images/3/3e/Shadi_…
I DID