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Goron Freeman

He’s got a crowbar to fight off headcrabs… and if it looks like he’s not going to win he can always curl up into a ball and roll away!
By gafagear, submitted by Mauricio

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Goron Freeman



Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 30, 2010 · 2:41 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (287 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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Categories:
Artistic, Cray-Z Crossovers, Disguises, Half-Life, Nintendo, Rockin' Out, The Legend of Zelda, Valve Software

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82 Responses to “Goron Freeman”

  1. Rockman X on July 30th, 2010 6:44 pm

    Looks like this Freeman…
    *shades*
    rocks.
    YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. GraveZombie on July 30th, 2010 2:52 pm

    How is this Freeman and Transformers connected? They can both transform…
    *shades*
    and roll out.
    [url

  • GameboyPATH on July 30th, 2010 6:53 pm

    I would love to play Saria's song for the sake of seeing him dance. :D

  • spaghettiweegee on July 30th, 2010 6:57 pm

    Re-Deads are the Headcrabs of the Zelda universe.

  • GraveZombie on July 30th, 2010 6:58 pm

    This Freeman is just like a transformer. He can transform and…
    *shades*
    Rollout.
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    (Play with this http://www.instantsfun.es/csi because I cant figure out links)

  • Weibbles on July 30th, 2010 7:02 pm

    So, does this make Alex a Zora and Barney a Kokiri?

  • Lordshadow on July 30th, 2010 7:09 pm

    This is somewhat disturbing, but I feel that I am jaded to such things after being mindraped by the the Odd Scouts earlier today.

  • Darkangelsv1 on July 30th, 2010 7:35 pm

    Goron Vs. Groudon! Who will win?

  • Gamage on July 30th, 2010 7:41 pm

    He has rock hard nipples.

  • Gamage on July 30th, 2010 7:42 pm

    Looks like he's getting
    *shades*
    Hard.
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

  • ArmyOfMidgets on July 30th, 2010 7:47 pm

    Crowbar, it's even better than a Big Goron Sword.

  • LeoTheProdigy on July 30th, 2010 3:59 pm

    Welcome to Halolz, allow me to tour you around… on your left, we have Untooned Kirby, and on your right, a duo of anthropomorphic lesbian Mudkips. If you look out the back of the tour bus right now, you can see your soul, which left you after you laughed at the 9/11 and Hindenburg jokes. Tickets to hell are sold during and after the tour, we recommend each passenger pick one up.

  • Captain Rehab on July 30th, 2010 8:03 pm

    Your lucky. instead of a tour, I got a boot to the head and had my soul ripped out.

  • Captain Rehab on July 30th, 2010 8:05 pm

    I guess you could say that Gordon Freeman takes his drinks…
    *shades*
    On the rocks.
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • Lordshadow on July 30th, 2010 8:06 pm

    Allow me to further disturb us all by posing to us the hypothetical result of an oddscout breeding with an untooned kirby.

  • tveye on July 30th, 2010 8:15 pm

    Dammit, as if Ravenholm didn't have enough problems. Now we've got Re-Dead's to worry about.

  • Xyxoz on July 30th, 2010 8:18 pm

    Wait…Does that mean they rape your face now?

  • Xyxoz on July 30th, 2010 8:19 pm

    I'd say Goron, 'cause it's kinda hard fighting something when you're made of what your opponent eats.

  • Xyxoz on July 30th, 2010 8:20 pm

    It also comes in handy if you need a quick snack!

  • Xyxoz on July 30th, 2010 8:21 pm

    That would be…weird…

  • Alpar on July 30th, 2010 8:51 pm

    And if you visit our forums, we suggest you don't ever visit the Insanity Thread!

    …EVER.

  • Alpar on July 30th, 2010 8:51 pm

    Groudon Freeman. Know why? Because when ground goes against rock

    IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

  • Alpar on July 30th, 2010 8:52 pm

    Sorry Link. The fans demand a new mute hero.

  • CJ47 on July 30th, 2010 9:00 pm

    Looks like Gordon Freeman just got a little
    *shades*
    Boulder.
    YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

  • CJ47 on July 30th, 2010 9:01 pm

    Not to mention Groudon Freeman can learn Solarbeam.

  • MrNaleIt on July 30th, 2010 9:03 pm

    It's filled with minerals to keep the not-so-young goron going!

  • MrNaleIt on July 30th, 2010 9:06 pm

    Seems as though this goron is going to…
    *shades*
    Free-Mankind.
    YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  • MrNaleIt on July 30th, 2010 9:08 pm

    O I C Whut u did thar…

  • LeoTheProdigy on July 30th, 2010 9:12 pm

    It already happened, but Dedede was nice enough to not let us see it.

  • KiruBananers on July 30th, 2010 9:19 pm

    I had it worse,Paulrus bent me over and him,Shawn,Roflcopter,and Alpar took turns pushing jagged rusty spikes into my anus.

  • meinmattias on July 30th, 2010 9:40 pm

    Gah! Send it back to science and outer space!

  • AuraMaster on July 30th, 2010 9:48 pm

    GRAMMAR HAMMER!

    *You're

  • AuraMaster on July 30th, 2010 9:49 pm

    This is the one comment on this site that is going to require a whole warehouse of mind bleach.

  • Dimomarg on July 30th, 2010 9:51 pm

    more mindraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape.

  • AuraMaster on July 30th, 2010 9:54 pm

    You get a face full of zombie wing-wong.

  • AuraMaster on July 30th, 2010 9:56 pm

    Looks like Mr. Freeman…
    *sunglasses*

    …Knows how to rock and roll.

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

  • Missinko009 on July 30th, 2010 6:00 pm

    Now that's racist!!!

    Gorun Freeman!!! Terrible!!! (JK LOL)

    *Misspelling intentional

  • BurnoutSpartan on July 30th, 2010 10:04 pm

    I was playing Half Life Source the other day and came up with this realization:
    This Gordon Freemen would be trapped in Black Mesa forever.

    …although if he could it would make the hanging crates level a lot more interesting…

  • KamikazeGible on July 30th, 2010 10:19 pm

    No, they rape you. Period.

  • TheTopHatKid on July 30th, 2010 10:21 pm

    Zombie wing-wong? In MY face?
    oh noes! D:

  • Lordshadow on July 30th, 2010 10:23 pm

    Unfortunate, I appear to have been hit by a -1 troll recently.

  • aimless_void on July 30th, 2010 10:30 pm

    He got his PHD in Culinary Geology!

  • FoxyMayo on July 30th, 2010 10:33 pm

    Sooo…. does that mean he have a Ph. D. in Hazardous Materials AND geology??

  • hadoukenman on July 30th, 2010 10:53 pm

    It's unfortunately more likely than you think. At least you have the DA DA DA DAAAAAAA crowbar!

  • CapnRegi on July 31st, 2010 12:04 am

    Hope to God Tingle isn't Alyx.

  • JboneDRS on July 31st, 2010 12:15 am

    I don't think that suit will be flexible to curl up into a ball and roll at 20 miles an hour

  • Caelun_Niveus on July 31st, 2010 12:53 am

    Don't forget the Thread of Insanity over past that back alley.

  • smashpro1 on July 31st, 2010 1:08 am

    Shut up and inject this man with some science!

  • Xyxoz on July 31st, 2010 1:31 am

    Oh wait, that's my stop! Thank's for dropping me off. I live back there ya know! Nice place!

  • Daifuku on July 31st, 2010 2:10 am

    Nah, it would be Kleiner -_-

  • Tifakitteh on July 31st, 2010 3:29 am

    Dojohngo Freeman who was Goron Freemans brother was one day an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that armos and moblins were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

    Dojohngo Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his spinner and normal people close because he was in his office tunic. Dojohngo Freeman got on his spinner and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

    Dojohngo Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept spinning down the road and made sure there was no redeads around because he ddint have weapon.

    The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for Dojohngo Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. Dojohngo Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

    Dojohngo Freeman was late so he had to spin really fast. A cop boar was hiden near by so when Dojohngo Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here Dojohngo Freeman saw the first moblin because the cop was posessed and had floormasters.

    "I cant give you my lisense officer" Dojohngo Freeman said

    "Why not?" said the floormaster oficer back to Dojohngo Freeman.

    "Because you are floormaster redead" so Dojohngo Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

    Dojohngo Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Goron needed him where he was. Dojohngo Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Zantholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so Dojohngo Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Goron so he went faster again.

    Dojohngo Freeman spun in and did another flip n jumped off his spinner and the spinner took out some floormaster redeads infront of Dojohngo Freeman. Dojohngo Freeman smiled and walked fast. Dojohngo Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up threw bomb and blew smoke at redead poes in front of a house.

    Dojohngo Freeman said "Redead poes leave this place" and the redead poes said "but this is our house" and Dojohngo Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were redead poes so he blew up the house and killed the redead poes so they were at piece.

    Then Dojohngo Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Zantholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from floormasters.

    When Dojohngo Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Goren Freeman fightin the final bosss and Goron said "Dojohngo Freeman! Over here!" so Dojohngo Freeman went there to where Goron Freeman was fighting. Dojohngo Freeman blew his smoke from teh bomb really fast and the smoke went and smoked the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

    Goron Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. Dojohngo Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Goron Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

    The laughed overed quickly though because Dojohngo Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Goron Freeman looked up and said "NOO! Dojohngo Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and Dojohngo Freeman walked real fast out.

    Dojohngo Freeman loked back and saw Goron get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

    "I'll get you back evil boss!" Dojohngo Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

    to be continued..?

  • Kirby_Emprer on July 31st, 2010 5:28 am

    inb4 he's got a Phd IN KICKING YOUR ASS!

  • Kirby_Emprer on July 31st, 2010 5:30 am

    i wonder if it tastes like chicken.

  • vatonnage on July 31st, 2010 7:06 am

    …Y'know, THAT would explain why everything just explodes when you hit them with a crowbar!

  • Barry Allen on July 31st, 2010 7:28 am

    Crowbar + Rock Hard Skin= RESULTS!

  • Kevbot_9000 on July 31st, 2010 3:30 am

    Only if you play the Sun Song. MWAH! Cooked to perfection.

  • Kevbot_9000 on July 31st, 2010 3:31 am

    >_> We don't go to Ravenholm.

  • Navy_Pheonix on July 31st, 2010 8:52 am

    When these two things combine, the only thing that can stop Goron Freeman is an equally BA, equally mute main character with iron boots and a death wish.

  • died70 on July 31st, 2010 9:16 am

    now if only i could teach him rollout…
    dear god he would be indestructible!

  • Grashbar on July 31st, 2010 9:39 am

    tl;dr?

    Sorry for the rudeness with a tl;dr.

  • PallyPower on July 31st, 2010 10:45 am

    Shh… Don't give them ideas!

  • LeoTheProdigy on July 31st, 2010 12:21 pm

    …I'm just gonna +1 you and get around to reading it later.

  • combatbeaver on July 31st, 2010 1:37 pm

    I guess he's
    *shades*
    Silent as a rock
    YYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH?

  • combatbeaver on July 31st, 2010 1:38 pm

    Nope *elongates neck*

  • Rockman X on July 31st, 2010 3:02 pm

    Pretty Nice.
    took me a good 5 seconds to read the whole thing.

  • Tifakitteh on July 31st, 2010 3:31 pm

    For a while I thought about inb4tl;dr, buh I didn't want to take away your pleasure from typing it out.

    But yea, it's just Full-LIfe Consequences, Zelda style.

  • Gafagears on July 31st, 2010 11:55 am

    I really appreciate you giving me credit and uploading this elsewhere as a flattering remark, BUT i would REALLLLLY appreciate you asking me for permission before using my artwork on another site

  • codemaster525 on July 31st, 2010 5:15 pm

    weirdly epic.

  • codemaster525 on July 31st, 2010 5:16 pm

    "He’s got a crowbar to fight off headcrabs… and if it looks like he’s not going to win he can always curl up into a ball and roll away!"

    Isn't that Samus? Just minus the crowbar?

  • GameboyPATH on July 31st, 2010 6:44 pm

    Whaddya mean JUST?

  • Killamakaze on July 31st, 2010 8:46 pm

    YES PLEASE MAKE HIM DANCE!!!

  • Killamakaze on July 31st, 2010 8:48 pm

    Come back when your a little, mmmmm, quieter!

  • Aboithagameboi on July 31st, 2010 10:21 pm

    1.) Crowbar
    2.) Rock Hard Skin
    3.) ????
    4.) PROFIT!

    amiduinitrite?

  • Aboithagameboi on July 31st, 2010 10:22 pm

    rock hard OLD MAN nipples.

  • Coodoo on July 31st, 2010 11:42 pm

    You really want thumbs up, don't you?

  • Barry Allen on August 1st, 2010 4:57 pm

    That's up to the Council of Freemen.

  • Rockman X on August 1st, 2010 5:34 pm

    Mr. Freeman may know rock and roll, but Dr. Light created Rock and Roll.

  • ThatOneDude on August 2nd, 2010 5:54 am

    How epic would a Big Goron Crowbar be?
    The answer: So epic.

  • Gafagears on August 2nd, 2010 11:35 am

    i might just have to put this marvel of literacy cover over. onto the Artist comments for this deviation XD

  • Xifihas on August 2nd, 2010 4:30 pm

    Rock hard old man nipples that GOD (AKA Captain Falcon) is envious of.

  • Shawn Handyside on August 2nd, 2010 11:39 pm

    That's fine we can remove it if you want, just send us an email!

  • Shawn Handyside on August 4th, 2010 1:25 am

    We can remove it if you want, just send us an email!

    • Feel free to leave a comment...
    and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!