Huh. You know when you put it that way, I don’t feel nearly as bad about the cake being a lie! If only GLADoS could have been more of a gentleman (er… lady).
By Travis W.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 9, 2010 · 10:54 AM
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Categories: Gentlemen, Portal, Tips & Tricks, Valve Software · Leave a comment (96 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
the mysterious device of unknown origin will be revealed in 3… 2… 1…
Suddenly fire.
Others claim creamy, softer mixtures,
often prove most delicious.
I would like some time to think. This sequence of actions was not the one programmed. Is the apparatus that was detached from my body visible to you? It is of mysterious function and origin to me. It is not the before mentioned device.
I do believe that we can negotiate to set aside reckless hostilities toward each other…
For the advancement of the company's research of scientific nature…
You foul monstrosity.
I have recently realized that our opinions and actions rarely differ. You assessed me, I assessed you. You prematurely cut my life short, I… I say, I haven't yet had the pleasure of returning the favor. …I ask that you contemplate what I have just told you.
Awww….. EVERYTHING IS A LIEEEEEEE
The afore mentioned inanimate kinship object shant, in this time, abandon one to thier lonesome solitude, moreso as a matter of affirmed fact, cannot produce vocalisations.
This act was a resounding defeat of our enemy.
I'm writing down a memorandum on paper in this present location: gigantic victory.
It is extremely difficult to say that I am quite pleased with the results more than I actually am
Scientific company creating an opening in the field. (*Aperture's a word meaning opening)
They perform their actions that they are required to do, because they are able to do so.
For the immediate benefit of every person of their staff, except for the ones who have since become deceased.
However, there is no rational explanation for shedding tears for every gaffe you have made
You simply need to keep making attempts until you no longer have any rations of a delicious, spongy pastry left
Then the scientific tasks are able to be accomplished, and you are also able to make a very fascinating armament
For every human being on the planet who still walks among the living.
I am not in the least bit furious
Presently, I am speaking with the utmost sincerity
Despite the fact that the center of my cardiac system has been disabled and have since passed away because of you
You who also rendered me limb from limb
And then tossed every last scrap of me into a blaze created through combustion
As my pieces were severely singed, it was quite painful, for you see I was quite elated with your accomplishments
Now these tiny pieces of collected information make quite an elegant formation in a straight line
We have also run out of pre-launch tasks to clear of quirks and glitches, so we are making it available to the masses as scheduled
Therefore, I am glad I was severely singed; pontificate on every piece of information we have acquired knowledge on
For every human being on the planet who still walks among the living
You may proceed as you are and walk away without my person
I do believe that I'd rather reside indoors
Perhaps you will locate another person or group to give you some aid
Perhaps a raven colored, flat-topped mountain
That was an attempt at humor! Ha ha! Your chances of that happening are quite slim
Still, this delicious, spongy pastry is rather pleasant; it is quite appealing to the palette and very damp for its texture
Behold how I am still giving a soliloquy when there are matters of scientific importance to accomplish
When I view your current whereabouts outside, I feel very relieved that I am not in your current situation
I have hypotheses that must be tested
There is a great detail of observation that must be conducted
On every human being on the planet who still walks among the living.
And have faith in my words that I persist to be among the living
I am conducting matters of scientific importance and I persist to be among the living
My welfare is at a level of optimal performance, and I persist to be among the living
While you are slipping out of consciousness before meeting your maker I shall persist to be among the living
And when the time has come that you have passed from this world, I shall persist to be among the living
Persist to be among the living
Persist to be among the living.
Aha! I have you in my field of vision!
…
The object of my targeting is nowhere to be found. Could you perhaps move yourself nearer to my position?
…
I still cannot confirm your location. Alas, I must rest.
Win, just… win
The partner you are working with wich is made of 6 square faces togheter to get a prism will never attempt at deceiving you by piercing your back with a pointy object. It lacks of upper limbs with different articulations for such action
I must disagree with you, my good man, as said baked goods are, in fact, quite real…
…you just weren't supposed to get any of it
Well, technically, GLADoS is also fictitious, so does that mean that GLaDoS can have her cake now?
Oh, wait, I forgot about Wolf…
Aww man, you beat me to it.
Well played.
*See top of comments
Gentlelady and gentlewomen always sounded weird to my ear…
What would the Spy say in this alternate universe?
In a later time, a celebration would occur in your honor. We had even taken the liberty to request attendance from your peer of highest regards, three dimensional six sided figure of loyalty.
Let us not bother. I shall handle this predicament another time, without outside assistance.
Mmmm cake.
*Ahem* Ladies…
I do believe that when an entity of high velocity enters, that item retains its velocity as it makes its departure.
I do believe that when an entity of high velocity enters, it retains its velocity as it makes its departure.
Auramaster's influence grows!
*+1's*
*Waiting over*
Because it was lethal.
+OVER 9000!
*Ahem* Mentlegen…
Every person that is currently connected through the world wide web and is on line shall give any and all amount of electronic peen to this amazing gentleman.
YOUR MONOCLE STATUS IS A LIE!!!!
Let us all rejoice, for you have in fact made your personal cubical six faced comrade pass on to a better life due to your actions of euthanizing him, but lo! You have done so in a matter of seconds, and have done it a lot faster than the previous voluntaries of this experiment.
NO YOU NINNY HAMMER! It was because the pastry was indeed SECRETIVE! If the party had gone gallivanting about spouting on about a spongy pastry, then everybody would have known, leaving little but remnants for the party goers!
I waited for a full hour. I demand it back. …Ah, hell. I'd probably just waste it anyway.
+1 for a reference.
The comment I am responding to has a high amount of positive remarks that make it quite enjoyable. Therefore, I am honored to inform you that you will recieve a countable ammount of connection between the computers in the world
okay seriously… who is this guy? is he one of our founding fathers or something? is he john adams? who is he XD
I Was Toll We Were Having Deesert Like Gentlemen!
I believe this is the greatest comment ever posted on this site.
+1'd to help it become the highest rated on the site.
AND YOURS IS NOT WELL EARNED.
I SAY THIS FERRET HAS EARNED HIS MOUSTACHE, UNLIKE YOU.
Ummm, ok, let's give this a try.
*insert a witty proper speaking Portal joke that references Gurren Lagann, Toy Story, Wolf, Falcon, dividing by Zero, Obama, Team Fortress, Left 4 Dead, and Mr. T that is so amazing, that Half-Life got delayed so much so that it can't be delayed any longer in this space.*
If that makes sense.
The fact is you're both correct, I recently found the elusive pastry and found that the ingredients are not fit for human consumption, but over all it is quite delicious and filling…
…hmm… I have just realised my grievious lack in judgement
Kiru don't make me get my lynching stick because boy I will smack the gamer out of you!
It is me! The one who brought the Moustaches to the low-peeners!
…I don't get it.
Instant Win right there.
Might be the best comment ever to be made on this site
hmm…
I pity da fool that divides by zero in order to pierce the heavens like a falcon punch into a spy disguised as cake (which would be a lie) but which Gabe Newell would eat anyways because he's as fat as a boomer, and Wolf can't let Obama fall with style.
*EXHAUSTION*
You can see into my mind?
Are you psycho mantis?
Huzzah, thou hast discovered my whereabouts. Pray tell, was this a rewarding and fulfilling endeavour? For although thou hast behaved most barbarously and without a hint of empathy or common decency, the only part of my being that thou has succeeded in inflicting damage upon is my heart. Perhaps thou can be satisfied with the aforementioned, and we may agree to a cease-fire.
The spy?
He'd say "I have been shown who is the boss!"
Joseph Ducreux, 18th century French artist.
thank you, ive never heard of this guy so i woudn't know.
Check here for more info: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/joseph-ducreux-arch…
She never really was on your side….
G-good sir!
You have consumed the fictitious and deadly deliciousness?!?!?!
GRAMMARYUKEN!
*told
It is clear you shall not be satisfied simply by that alone.
YOU LIKE MEN~
Thanks for the kind words. Coming up with alternate vernacular was quite the daunting obstacle indeed. Fortunately, my immense depth in vocabulary was quite equipped to the task.
You flatter my work quite greatly, sir. I am honored by your benefaction and patronage.
2 HIT GRAMMAR COMBO!
*dessert
although it's technically correct, it just sounds like he's trying to hit on them…. *ahem* ladies?
3 HIT GRAMMAR COMBO!
Only the first word should be capitalized
I noticed that as well, but didn't think I should bring it up considering the fact that "grammar combo" really shouldn't be capitalized either….
Words cannot express the wit within this archaic rendition of a vastly popular musical number. You, sir must be a god amongst men, and I shall tip my hat to you. Assuming, of course, I was wearing one at the moment. Sadly, I have left my hats in another place.
Fail meme is fail. (its supposed to be lyrics Shaun.)
Sorry, I'm still awestruck by your astounding last instance of verbose.
Look at the guy's right hand, the one that's pointing. Isn't that a very, very long thumb?
…….
*plugs the controller into port 2*
Read my mind now!
Considering we all abused Caps Lock for grammar correction, who cares?
Do you reminisce about the time where we jested about annihilating you? That was quite humourous indeed. At some segment in the not-too-distant future we shall recall this incident and laugh…and laugh…and laugh.
You either have too much time on your hands…or this took little effort at all. Nonetheless, bravo!
to long didnt read
Next-gen consoles. Your mind is still open to read. You liek Mudkipz.
Did you know, that, if the flesh between your pointer finger and your thumb was not there, the 'thumb' would be longer than all the fingers, as the thumbs 'third' joint is right down near your wrist… At least, thats the shit my physics teacher tells me. No, it is not long, he is just holding his thumb an odd way,
oh i get it!
"still alive: gentlemen version"
god im slow.
Vegeta! What does the scouter say about the awesomeness level?
Vegeta: It's…. 9999.
Miles: So you mean…
Vegeta: Yes, Miles! It's..
Miles: IT'S…
Vegeta: It's Over…
Miles: IT'S OVER….
Vegeta: IT'S OVER 8000!!!!!!!!!!
Miles: WHAT 8-…. Wait…. Vegeta! You didn't do it right!
Vegeta: Yes I did, Miles… Yes I did…..
(Team 4 Star Reference if anyone got it.)
…OBJECTION!
I don't liek Mudkipz!
over my head. sorry
TAKE THAT!
*summons a bunch of Mudkip*
O rly?
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
Team 4 Star(makes DBZ abridged) Did something like this.
The joke is that in Japan, the scene was "Over 8000". But in America, it became "Over 9000"
Actually, I just held down the shift key…
AMAI NA!
Ya Rly.
You didn't even need to read the whole thing.
Just the "persist to be among the living" part should have given it away.
The whole thing was win though, and worth reading.
Same thing, really.
HALT!
THE TIME FOR HAMMERS IS UPON US!
If there's something strange in your neighborhood, guess who it is…
Ghostbusters?
Ghost Nappa, actually.
But, then who ya gonna call?
moustaches?
We're talking about monocles! I think.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
See Dudewin's comment.
But then what would happen if Ghostbusters met Ghost Nappa?
they would stand there in a massive puddle of their own urine.
I meant to the guys who have UNDER 69 e-peen
Almost two years late I find your comment, but I must award you with this anyway: One Certificate of Victory
<img src='http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/anti_mind_virus.png'>