The epic tale of one man’s rise to power in Stillwater. And then I assume he went on to create Valve…
By FalconBK, submitted by Jason B.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 15, 2010 · 4:21 PM
  (167 votes, average: 4.28 out of 5) Loading ... |
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Categories: Aerial Maneuvers, Explosives, Heavy Weapons, Playstation, Smashy Smashy, Swordplay, Uncategorized, Valve Software, Video Clips, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (98 Comments) |
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Email your video game related LOLZ to and if it's good we'll post it!
Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
Rosie o'donnel?
All that came to mind was: Heavy Weapons Guy -- The Early Years.
So that's how it's like to run a company, huh?
GOD! HE'S SO FAT!
So he's the douchebag who always brings a gun to a knife fight.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
…I don't get it…
He is like the Chuck Norris of game industry!
<insert fat joke that is amazing here>
<insert a TF2 related joke that would give me +1 here>
His fat gives him power. Every kill adds a kilo, and every kilo gives him more HP. People say Stam stacking is for noobs, but he is jiggling proof that fat makes a powerful nerd
Except there's a guy already taking that position. And that is Chuck Norris.
And yet, the Engie update STILL isn't out yet.
Wait I thought Gabe was more of a knife guy than a gun guy?
And that's why I said "like" :3
Anyways, I tend to think that Chuck Norris is not Chuck Norris in game creation… *waiting to get roundhouse kicked*
This is because Gabe is filled with AWESOMNESS!
Everytime you make a fat joke about Gabe Newell, he forwards the release date of Episode 2 by a week.
Just throwing that out there.
Episode 3 maybe?
I thought he was filled with precious goo?
The lesson? NEVER fuck with fat people.
All in a day's work.
Yeah, that's what I meant. Fucking typos.
Lazy way out.
F**king Typos! How do they work!?
0:56
I think this is fake. If there's one thing I learned from Dead or Alive, it's that cute ninja girls are invincible, and don't even need a weapon to kick your ass.
That bastard, always ruining my fun.
Strangely, his favourite class is the spy.
No Wolf fans, it's not who you think!
-1 troll. I can get everyone else's comments, but someone needs to fix mine.
Hey, he's got to kill those rival game developers first.
Nope. THIS is who we're talking about.
What came to my mind: Pre-infection Boomer.
Don't worry, you're safe until you stop waiting for it. He usually attacks when you least expect it. So if you keep waiting, you should live until you stop expe- OH GOD MY BLOOD! HE- HE KICKED OUT ALL MY BLOOD!
All I see when I watch this is Shawn running around with a courage kratos gun killing the citizens of Halolz. Why Shawn? WHY!?
Why is it that saying </insert joke> gets so many +1s these days? It's weird.
Fixed
Santa after dealing with too many greedy people?
So this is why he dropped out of Harvard
good choice imo
As well as a hard day's night.
Nah, he found an easier way of dealing with them.
Plus they're using katanas, everyone knows that a katana in a ninjas hand can cut bullets in half.
Gabe Newall knows where you sleep Shigeru Miamoto…he's coming for you next.
So Jack Thompson was right about video game violence after all.
Just not in the way he expected.
Hey not even i know.I tought i would just receibe one or two +1
Guess the hokes they inserted there are really funny!
I wish i could share these +1 with every single one of you…but i dont want,they are mine
so, the half life series is loosely* based on Gabe's life?
*too losely**
**WAY TO LOOSELY***
***not at all
:O inb4 mah o-face
You call that breaking my spine? You, Chuck Norris, wouldn't know how to break a spine if--OH, MY SPINE!!
That meme was funny. For the first five times it was used.
Now it's just fail.
Hard as in HARD, hint hint wink wink INTERCOURSE.
Meanwhile at Valve…
|somewhere in Nevada|
Gabe Newell: Finally, Miyamoto! You thought you were sly, but you slipped up too many times. You shouldn't have crossed me. And now you will pay for it.
Miyamoto: No…please, n-
(interrupted by heavy electrocution)
|STAY TUNED FOR GABE NEWELL: REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED WITH SALAD|
"Intercourse" and "Gabe Newell" don't get along…
*applies mind bleach*
Fries with that?
Because he never really was on our side?
Heavy: SO MUCH FAT!
You call that killing me? I am not dead!
*Cracking noise*
Now I am ordering you to kill me! Please please please, God, Kill me!
Great, I just had to read that and have my vivid imagination take it over…
If anyone wants some nightmare fuel, I'm making it at this very moment… Sponsored by A_R_…
And that made me think of Final Fantasy IV: The After Years.
Which brings to my mind.. what's the average lifespan of a Heavy? Twelve seconds? That's a shit job.
But Heavy is the richest man alive, so he can spend as many 400,000 he wants. How do you think he always gets a reloaded Sasha for every respawn?
I halp'd.
Scout: Hey lardfat, next time, eat a salad!
'Cause it's a different heavy.
My work here is done.
Pancakes, dumbass!
You have been Shawn who is the boss.
I'M COMING FOR YOU! KEEP CRYING BABY!
Ahem, that is a diet I call, DEATH
Jump off Buildings!
LIKE A BOSS
He's filled with CHOCOLATE!!!
Then should we change your name to Halpar?
BA-DUM-TSH!
Take off the glasses for instant Bobby Kotick Mode.
Sponsored by A_R_, sold by Billy Mays, and made by OH GOD UNTOONED KIRBY!
OH GOD LESBIAN MUDKIPS!
OH GOD UNTOONED MARIO!
This is all from Saints Row II for those that wanna know.
But I thought when TF2 classes die, they get glued back together in Hell?
OH U!
Only if they're gibbed by a good Demoman.
Lesbians mudkips are okay.
But what about…
UNTOONED MARIO making out with UNTOONED KIRBY?
"This is our city… we can do whatever the fuck we want."
I assume he went on to say:
"…Let's make a gaming company."
But he's so OP there's no such thing as a bad Demoman.
i'd assume it'd be the HEAVY dohohohoho
@1:06 you can see him taking out a Sony executive
No, there are bad Demomen. They just aren't standing here talking to you.
He needs to remind us of his dominance every now and then.
When shawn puts up a courage kratos, all arguments are invalid forever. Its like a yu-gi-oh card :P
:O
…unless you are Gabe.
…I think you scared my nightmares away….
Another satisfied customer.
Actually, I want the remaining sanity I had left back…
I'm sorry, i have a "no returns" policy.
If making a fat joke about Gabe did not postpone the release of Ep 3, I'd say something about Gaby being heavier than a whale or something. Wait, I just did.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
haha chuck norris just kicked you!
lololollolol l…
*dead silence*
Sir,This rocket you sold me is defective,so HERE YOU GO.
/me fires Critrawkets at A_R_
Gabe is made of a rubber like serum called weight.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
It takes a Popo to deflect Chuck Norris,and ONLY if you can see hi-
*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP*
I meant I am sorry mr. Chuck.
/me is waiting for respawn
Delay releases!
LIKE A BOSS
What time is it?
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Overtime!