I wouldn’t want to be the coroner that had put together these autopsy statistics.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 2, 2009 · 8:43 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (128 votes, average: 4.16 out of 5)
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Charts & Graphs, Depressing, Nintendo, Super Mario Bros

· Leave a comment (174 Comments)



  1. Vabolo on November 3rd, 2009 1:52 am

    Am I the FIRST to notice that it looks like a smash ball?

  2. Roflcopter419 on November 3rd, 2009 1:55 am

    Needs moar crevasse.

  3. Hakokoro on November 3rd, 2009 1:56 am

    Murderous Turtle is credit to team

  4. Acrazymonke on November 3rd, 2009 1:56 am

    and also by random nonexploding misiles

  5. WizardRex on November 3rd, 2009 1:59 am

    What about villainous mushrooms?

  6. ArmyOfMidgets on November 3rd, 2009 2:09 am

    Pff, everyone knows that's Mushroom Kingdom propaganda to hide the high ammount of mushroom dealing, the horrible social problems, the economic crisis (100,000 coins = 1 Bean Token!!!) the Monarchy and the renegade plumbers who do nothing to help the common people.

  7. Last on November 3rd, 2009 2:12 am

    this chart only works for mario's point of view if you looked at the one for king koopa 90% is mario related 9% is lava and 1% is luigi

  8. Marzen on November 3rd, 2009 2:26 am


  9. shadow649 on November 3rd, 2009 2:29 am

    The accurate chart is insanely accurate! But when I'm playing all of the chart is red except the occasional glitch death.

  10. MrRaccoon on November 3rd, 2009 2:36 am

    You forgot "sheer stupidity"

  11. yggdrasil325 on November 3rd, 2009 2:43 am

    It's missing invisible coin blocks.

  12. Badonk on November 3rd, 2009 3:05 am

    Seriously, am i the only one who has been impaled on the Flagpole?

  13. Cypher on November 3rd, 2009 3:11 am

    Where the hell is mushroom overdose?

  14. Caelun_Niveus on November 3rd, 2009 3:11 am

    Are blue shells located under "Murderous Turtles" or "Anthropomorphic Explosive Device"?

  15. Jet_Sparrow on November 3rd, 2009 3:25 am

    The lack of kart-related fatalities worries me.

  16. Paulrus-Keaton? on November 3rd, 2009 4:02 am

    It seems that this Koopa managed…..
    ….to come out of his shell.

  17. Nick Soapdish on November 3rd, 2009 4:03 am

    Turtles don't kill people.
    People who launch them as projectiles kill people.

  18. Senax on November 3rd, 2009 5:22 am


    Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!
    Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!
    Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!

  19. LOLCUNO on November 3rd, 2009 5:58 am

    *searches Protojhon videos to prove you wrong*

  20. Rocker23220 on November 3rd, 2009 7:08 am

    needs a couple more categories…..but I gotta say, that is one ugly pie chart…

  21. DClaw on November 3rd, 2009 7:49 am

    You would think that Bowser would be even a small piece….DAMN he must suck at killing things! I mean he ORDERS green koopas to fall into pits for flipping sakes!

  22. Daifuku on November 3rd, 2009 10:13 am

    HA! I got all those beat! I once died by getting shot in the eye by a firework after jumping off the flagpole!

  23. Zink120 on November 3rd, 2009 12:46 pm

    Lol. This made me think of the latest ep of SuperMarioBrosZ, where a Koopa Trooper wants revenge on Mario for stamping on his friend and the using his corpse to kill his other comrades before throwing him into a fire. When you think about it, Mario is hell of a violent bastard!

  24. BlueChameleon on November 3rd, 2009 6:06 pm

    What about jealousy?

  25. MassiveDamage on November 3rd, 2009 9:46 pm

    They forgot the cake.

  26. Darkangelsv1 on November 3rd, 2009 10:16 pm

    No, no NO!
    The MAJOR cause of death in the Mushroom Kingdom is…

    They squash you, kick you off a cliff, put you on fire, kick turtles onto you so they kick you off a cliff, tackle you when ignited by a Starman, roll around in a blue shell to kick you off a cliff, hit a block below you so you fall to your doom, spin and jump on top of you, turning you into dust, whooping you with their Raccoon tail, making you go back ware you came with their capes, making you walk off a cliff, spray water on you or suck you up with a vacuum, kick ANTHROPOMORPHIC MISSILES onto you, making you explode, dumping you on a trash can, leaving you for dead, breaking your skull in two with a Hammer, shoot Stardust onto your body, spike a ball, making your face get planted on the floor, turn 100 acres into flames, make you mentally insane and prone to "Up-B"-ing, and grabing you by your head and dropping you off a cliff.

    That is all.

  27. SolarZero on November 4th, 2009 4:26 am

    Anthromorphic Explosive Device?

    I missed something here…

  28. esspytood on November 26th, 2011 10:39 am

    murderous turtles? pfff, hardly.

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