I wouldn’t want to be the coroner that had put together these autopsy statistics.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 2, 2009 · 8:43 PM
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Categories: Charts & Graphs, Depressing, Nintendo, Super Mario Bros · Leave a comment (174 Comments) |
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Did you know the site has over 2,500 video game themed lolz? 
(4.85 out of 5)
Am I the FIRST to notice that it looks like a smash ball?
Needs moar crevasse.
Murderous Turtle is credit to team
and also by random nonexploding misiles
What about villainous mushrooms?
Koopa sappin' mah toad
That's one thing that I don't want to see. O_o
That's one thing that I don't want to see. O_o
Not enought litte goombas in this team!
That Goomba's a spy!
Pff, everyone knows that's Mushroom Kingdom propaganda to hide the high ammount of mushroom dealing, the horrible social problems, the economic crisis (100,000 coins = 1 Bean Token!!!) the Monarchy and the renegade plumbers who do nothing to help the common people.
this chart only works for mario's point of view if you looked at the one for king koopa 90% is mario related 9% is lava and 1% is luigi
Need a ? block here!
WHO SENDS GOOMBAS TO FIGHT ME?!
The accurate chart is insanely accurate! But when I'm playing all of the chart is red except the occasional glitch death.
You forgot "sheer stupidity"
It's missing invisible coin blocks.
That only makes 99%. *hopes people will get joke*
Erecting a ! block.
And complete clumsiness.
But where else can you buy a life for 100 coins?
Add muscle memory to that list.
oh we see what you did there.
Seriously, am i the only one who has been impaled on the Flagpole?
Guess who seels you the life? The Mob.
Guess how they get lives? They steal them from parents so there are more orphans.
…
Where the hell is mushroom overdose?
Are blue shells located under "Murderous Turtles" or "Anthropomorphic Explosive Device"?
Huh, it does. But no one's really died from an "overdose" of--
…Oh I see what you did there.
I think the sheer amount of evil in those damned shells might warrant a new graph altogether.
The lack of kart-related fatalities worries me.
It seems that this Koopa managed…..
*shades*
….to come out of his shell.
The Who: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!!!
Because that last 1% isn't something we need to pay any attention to.
Turtles don't kill people.
People who launch them as projectiles kill people.
and dont forget
CCCCCOMBO BREAKERS
I was thinking the exact same thing. Let's not also forget the other drugs you get there.
"Riding a Yoshi"
"Fire Flowers"
"Turning Metal"
"Using a Star"
And of course "Flying Like a Raccoon" (Please don't riot over that Mr. Raccoon).
It's not like he's going to hunt you down and kill you.
Oh wait, he might.
Yeah. Last time really hurt. I wish he wouldn't beat me to death and just invest in a weapon.
yeah, that should be a sub-category for "Dangerous Crevasse" :P
ಠ_ಠ
Stop judging my hobbies!
Oh…maybe I shouldn't have given him the Torture set for his birthday…
I'm sure that my actions will have no repercussions in the future!
IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY! HE'S OUT TO GET US! HE WILL LEAD US TO-
…
…
salvation!
Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!
Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!
Obey Weegee, destroy Mario!
Of course no-
Wait what?
I DON'T KILL PEOPLE, THEY JUST DON'T DODGE AND THEN THEY DIE >.>
Of course not! However, the rocket launcher he got MIGHT have repercussions… That and the army of trained raccoons wielding said RPGs could also present future repercussions, but a torture kit… nope, I see no problem there.
ಠ_ಠ
There can be only one!
Yes, only one. *grabs green shell*
I sense something, a presence I've not felt since…
nah, even better. *grabs purple shell*
*searches Protojhon videos to prove you wrong*
And lack of foresight.
Hold it right there mister!!
You are forgetting someone!!
PILLZ!
Oh I hated those kinds of hazards!!!
Not there yet man!
*grabs Bowser's Shell*
haha! I'm coming second! What are you going to do now!
People thought I was crazy when I grabbed that banana, but who's laughing now!
Yay!
Obey Luigi!
*grabs another blue shell* so what if i used teh cheet code?
Thats it, its on now *grabs peacemaker* (If anyone can guess what fail racing game it is off, you will get a free internet cookie)
needs a couple more categories…..but I gotta say, that is one ugly pie chart…
*Grabs a Pedokoopa* where is you holy god now huh? WHERE IS YOUR HOLY GOD NOW! :D oh right he's in SSBB
ow, ow, ow ,ow ,ow BAD THOUGHT MUST LOBOTIMIZE!!!!! time for a chansaw to da brans!!! Japanese translation : obodododo CHAINSAWARU da brooooons!!!!
Kitchen taimer Japanese:Kitchen Taimaaaaa!
Gasoline Japanese : GASOREENE!!!!
see you later on the "Personnally i prefer your bread!" show :D>
My god? He can`t let you do that!
You would think that Bowser would be even a small piece….DAMN he must suck at killing things! I mean he ORDERS green koopas to fall into pits for flipping sakes!
Your case would be an asterisk on this chart.
weegee?
I see what you did there you sneaky bastard! +1 for win!
HA! I got all those beat! I once died by getting shot in the eye by a firework after jumping off the flagpole!
Modded the game once to actually do that XD
Obey….Green Mario?
Objection! No one pays attention to Weegee*!
*Green Mario.
Now do it to Badonk's e-peen. /zing!
Fuck your Blue Shell >:D
*cuts Chain Chomp's chain and kicks him at Stealth*
*uncloaks* ZIPPO PAWNCH!!!
Standin' around like a bloody idiot!!! >:3
I do believe he's called Bowser.
Fuck your Chain Comp >:D
*cuts Pedochomp`s chain and lets loose on dai*
WHERES YOUR GOD NOW?
Mine doesnt allow people to do things…
Lol. This made me think of the latest ep of SuperMarioBrosZ, where a Koopa Trooper wants revenge on Mario for stamping on his friend and the using his corpse to kill his other comrades before throwing him into a fire. When you think about it, Mario is hell of a violent bastard!
*grabs a star* WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!
Haha!*grabs super star* According to the games all I have to do is touch you and you instantly die!
Batman?
SPYCHECK SPYCHECK SPYCHECK SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK! *Lights Daifuku on fire*
Shh…it's the BEAR JEW!
(as luigi)
STABB
(drops nuke)
*in a bunker miles away*
KABLOOEY
hush you!
who the what now?
*backstabs before he activates the detonation code*
quiet you let them have their fun!
Actually, I think Yatzhee pays attention to him… whoever he is.
Indeed….now where was I? Oh right.
*shows Pedochomp his 5 o'clock shadow.*
/pwned
I, sir, am not a spah! Spah does not say "Standin' around like a bloody idiot!" Spah also does not Zippo Pawnch people.
Now be a good little commenter and be pwned like you ought to be.
Nuu!
Exactly ;D
*grabs boot and throws it to Dai's head*
Quiet you! There is a war going on! *Burninates with flaemwarzthrower*
*double-jump dodge*
HADOUKEN!
*brushed dirt off self*
Touche Rofl, but let's see if you can dodge this…
I challange you to an E-PEEN FIGHT!
*Slaps Rofl with e-peen*
Hmm… There appears to be an epeen inside of me.
(that's what she said).
*Pulls out of stomach and stabs Dai with it*
Ok…now you've done it. TAKE THIS!
Ultra Combo of Grossness!
http://www.halolz.com/2008/07/09/12-hit-bukkake-s…
I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this. >:(
http://www.halolz.com/2008/09/07/kirby-untooned
"I need some of that"
and…. do I spy Patchy?
You forgot "Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy."
Personally, I prefer YOUR MOM.
WTF HAX
Much smaller versions of the one that will bring in the apocalypse.
I blame cosmic rays
What about jealousy?
http://badonk.deviantart.com/art/Oh-God-what-have…
Remember that thing we came up with on pikaboo? …yeah
What worries me is that you think a kart-related fatality section is needed. What the hell are YOU driving?
That would be a crap load of invisible coin blocks, correct?
That would be a crap load of invisible coin blocks, correct?
Obviously the Goombas sent themselves. They are the hardest enemy in the game you know!
One would think that after all those tries he would learn his lesson…
Oh well! *picks up popcorn and goes watch green koopas die in the pits*
Not in my game.
*Steals star with ghost thing* Cant let you use that, star!
Oh I see what you did there.
Toad?
Weegee check!
Who?
They forgot the cake.
Quick! Someone cause some emotional pain!
Maybe thats what he does. He watches them and waits for the ones that THINK. They either get cooked -- or promoted to red koopas
No, no NO!
The MAJOR cause of death in the Mushroom Kingdom is…
…PLUMBERS.
They squash you, kick you off a cliff, put you on fire, kick turtles onto you so they kick you off a cliff, tackle you when ignited by a Starman, roll around in a blue shell to kick you off a cliff, hit a block below you so you fall to your doom, spin and jump on top of you, turning you into dust, whooping you with their Raccoon tail, making you go back ware you came with their capes, making you walk off a cliff, spray water on you or suck you up with a vacuum, kick ANTHROPOMORPHIC MISSILES onto you, making you explode, dumping you on a trash can, leaving you for dead, breaking your skull in two with a Hammer, shoot Stardust onto your body, spike a ball, making your face get planted on the floor, turn 100 acres into flames, make you mentally insane and prone to "Up-B"-ing, and grabing you by your head and dropping you off a cliff.
That is all.
You mean the Green 'Stashe?
How many times have you thought you coould jump over that pit, only to fall to your demise…ON YOUR LAST LIFE!?
No, U!
Thanks for that, NOW i understand a joke i saw awhile ago :P
And perfected time jumps. Don't forget the time jumps!
Anthromorphic Explosive Device?
I missed something here…
Too many to want to recall ==
YOU FOOL!
ONLY RED KOOPA TROOPAS TURN AROUND!
…Oh, I'm sorry. You say something, mysterious voice in my head?
Need I remind y'all of the DEATH WATER?
Most likely.
Oh yeah??
*grabs Bullet Bill*
Your star can't hurt me now!!
Oh look!
I'm on first!!!
Baby Mairo and Baby Luigi user in MK DD!! huh??
They are my favourit characters in MK DD!! too!!!
Do you love Baby Park??
http://www.buuurn.com/
Yes. Yes I did….
GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!
Does that make Luigi the same???
BTW I love the Fire Sonic and the fight.
It's called Boo my good sir…
James from Team Rocket in Pokemon…
its actually on this graph
its just colored white
Thank you, if i could edit it now, i would. Obviously i have not played enough Mario Kart 64, ohh well.
Is it just me, or is this war starting to get a bit compacted against the wall?
Isn`t it amazing that you get last place items in firs… Wait just a minute! H4X0R!
Hmm, I hadn't been paying any attention to Weegee, so I can't say I noticed. :P
Also, MOVE FASTER POKKEEEYYY
Okai!
http://badonk.deviantart.com/art/Oh-God-what-have…
Weak :P
I can't be disturbed by suck common stuff.
Now admit defeat before I bring out the big guns!
Death Water the Movie, featuring Led Zepplin as death water's sons!
Holy Sh-…WHAT THE HELL!!! Now I got fat and untooned burning within the deepest reaches of my mind…Not even mind soap can erase this!
You asked for it…
Red Koopas are just promoted Green Koopas that were aware they cant walk on air, and got promoted due to "Genius". Green Koopas are always dreamers…
I asked for emotional pain not mental scaring…ugh…
Same thing!
NEVAR!!
Are those classed as "Dud" Blue shells?
GET THIS GUY OFF MY TAIL, STEALTH!
GASOWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNNNNN! *crushes daifuku's epeen with gasoline tank* :<>BD
No do it your self, the only advice i can give, DO A BARREL ROLL! or DO A LOOP, or USE THE BRAKES!
Yes, this does seem to be being compacted against the wall, teim for the most powerful weapon of them all. *ignores*
Thats it, *unleashes the /b/ on dai*…
Whats /b/? On second though, I don`t want to know but right now, it seems dai is being utterly pwned by it.
OIC wut u did thar
**e-peen flys off and impales kirby in the forehead*
Wave goodbye to your head wanker!!!
It's the most horrible thing in the entire world…
4chan.
And that, kiddies, is why you never, ever click the link dai provides unless you're mentally strong enough (hint: you're not).
Help compact for a test!
I am…
*remembers a post of mine somewhere else*
I… eat… your… super mushrooms. I eat 'em up!
Seriously this is just screwed up.
Itonlygetsworse.
So i see
all i have to say to that is … DAMN!
&
i is are a -1 troll…sehctib bitches
murderous turtles? pfff, hardly.
Comments on old posts? +1!