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THE MECHANICAL ENGINEER UPDATE

Another fake TF2 update page? Sadly yes, none of these awesome Engineer upgrades will ever see the light of day… But we can dream, right?
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THE MECHANICAL ENGINEER UPDATE

Posted by Shawn Handyside on October 22, 2009 · 5:41 PM

FAIL

LAME

NOT BAD

PRETTY GOOD

AWESOME

(124 votes, average: 4.28 out of 5)

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Categories:
Achievement Unlocked, Aerial Maneuvers, Explosives, Health & Fitness, Heavy Weapons, Movies, PC, Playstation, Portal, Science, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Vaporware, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (Comments)

3316CommentsTHE+MECHANICAL+ENGINEER+UPDATE2009-10-22+21%3A41%3A51Shawn+Handyside to “THE MECHANICAL ENGINEER UPDATE”

ConkerBirdy on October 22nd, 2009 9:52 pm

D: the idle map on that page, it cant possibly be real D:
SentryGunner on October 22nd, 2009 9:54 pm

Oh what I would do for a floating exploding dispener…
Techercizer on October 22nd, 2009 9:54 pm

In before "it's a trap"

And for a limited time only:
In before "that update's a spy!"
ConkerBirdy on October 22nd, 2009 9:56 pm

baw, checked the rest of the website, its fake T___T

baw some of them were epic

unless.. valve will make us think its fake and then release it!
MrRaccoon on October 22nd, 2009 10:04 pm

Where id isotope?!

You know where it is,don't you?
GameboyPATH on October 22nd, 2009 10:10 pm

Anhyone read the near-impossible achievements? Good God, man!
OrionX on October 22nd, 2009 10:39 pm

IT'S A- Dammit…

But that update's a– YOU SON OF A BITCH.
BurnoutSpartan on October 22nd, 2009 10:39 pm

The green letters are: R AIL GUN

I wonder what theyre saying……
Roflcopter419 on October 22nd, 2009 10:49 pm

It'll make no difference to me, because microsoft doesn't let Valve update TF2 for Xbox 360.
SentryGunner on October 22nd, 2009 10:54 pm

When valve find a way to get enough memory (or something like that) back, they will be able to update it! (Although, don't expect it to be free…)

Its why I moved from Xbox 360 to the PC version (that and I belive throwing jars of urine at people is my calling)
Techercizer on October 22nd, 2009 11:05 pm

It will explod!
Techercizer on October 22nd, 2009 11:06 pm

Objection!

There's a flaw in your story, what kind of dog can't swim!??
SentryGunner on October 22nd, 2009 11:07 pm

A hotdog
ArmyOfMidgets on October 22nd, 2009 11:17 pm

OBJECTION!!
A hot dog if in water stop being hot, therefor being a normal temperature dog, which can swim!!
BoardBreaker93 on October 22nd, 2009 11:40 pm

And the Engineer will look down from his high standing position and say "Screw you, you stinkin' spy! I'm doing science!"
Ozymil on October 22nd, 2009 11:41 pm

"Dammit, Spy's down!"

"It's okay, we can bring him back with… THE NECRONOMICON!"
nobrain on October 22nd, 2009 11:45 pm

Well I guess that's what happens when you tap his sentry… HE TAPS YO FACE… full of nails? More like blasts them in.
Techercizer on October 23rd, 2009 12:06 am

Army of Midgets Win.

Flawless Victory.
Doc_ock_rokc on October 23rd, 2009 12:20 am

actually that is due to some Memory size problems and the fact that MS wants to fucking charge the company for every download (aka not free)
MrRaccoon on October 23rd, 2009 12:32 am

Serious James is serious
This comment is serious
Both of them are win
Leo058 on October 23rd, 2009 12:35 am

HOLD IT!

You all seem to be under the idea that the water is cold…
yet where is your decisive evidence that it is not boiling water?!
Acrazymonke on October 23rd, 2009 12:57 am

umm build one?
Davis007 on October 23rd, 2009 12:58 am

Oh I dunno mabey its implying that the nail gun is really a Rail Gun.
and yes. i know you're joking. on a completly unrelated note, it hurts just under my eye when I blink…..
Acrazymonke on October 23rd, 2009 12:58 am

ive got both so im fine
Someguy5031 on October 23rd, 2009 1:08 am

I think the Idle map joke was funnier.
Ataeru on October 23rd, 2009 1:18 am

What radioactive isotope is he using for that weapon?
my guess is carbon-14 or fluorine-18, he has the technology to do so.

being radioactive, it may have a poison effect, as such you cant just wait for it to end like fire. it slowly kills you until dead or a medic heals you.
kirbyownsyou97 on October 23rd, 2009 1:21 am

Enjoy the Cake Update
Techercizer on October 23rd, 2009 1:33 am

http://i518.photobucket.com/albums/u347/s-castro8…
BurnoutSpartan on October 23rd, 2009 1:53 am

Acid goes where?
Senax on October 23rd, 2009 2:02 am

http://tf-2.fr/ach.php?a=You%20must%20be%20new.%2…
Here, have another. I bet that if engies actually had this update, this would come to be accomplished by many.

On a COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, I slightly completely hate newcomers for killing spycrabs all the time.
Senax on October 23rd, 2009 2:07 am

Which really doesnt make sense because as updates are applied, more people will buy the 360 orange box. More people buying that means more revenue for MS. Hell, MS should be charged by TF instead!
Techercizer on October 23rd, 2009 2:45 am

Serious Sam's seariousness is seriouser.

Alliteration is actually an ample alleviation of angst and apathy.
Link_09 on October 23rd, 2009 3:31 am

I WILL GIVE BACK ISOTOP IF AGREE TO MY DEMANS TOO LATE!
Link_09 on October 23rd, 2009 3:33 am

Valve should really look into this….
the community really has good ideas on weapons…

a nailgun would fit engineer perfectly fine.
ayanleman on October 24th, 2009 5:47 pm

Ah. sorry then. it appears i did everything you said. i am sorry.

In conclusion, I am a bloody twit.

Sincerly, Ayanle Man
sillychibi on October 24th, 2009 5:50 pm

the nail gun would be awesome, like the medic with his needle gun.. i wish valve would stop goffing off with us and actually update
TheAceOfSkulls on October 24th, 2009 11:58 pm

Gotcha!

I saw your hand list slightly to the left when you said Spy!
Leo058 on October 25th, 2009 1:22 am

It's like you're subconsciously reaching for… a butterfly knife! And that's the murder weapon!

…Techerizer… YOU are the Spy!

*courtroom gasping, Klavier freaking out*
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 1:29 am

HOLD IT!

You almost had me there, making me loose my mind and confidence, but now i realise the truth, the dog COULD swim, but for the sake of this bamboozlement chose not to, because, THE PUPPY WAS A SPY!!
Techercizer on October 25th, 2009 1:31 am

"Order! Order! Quiet down everyone, I will have order in this court!"

"Testicles. That is all…"
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 2:13 am

Hold it!

That's what was used to tap the sentry!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 2:45 am

OBJECTION!

That could have been used to tap ANY sentry!
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 3:08 am

Take that!

Aha! But the Sentry in question turned at the time of tapping, leaving its tapper without a certain part!
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 3:11 am

I enter and exit insanity so many times, I'd be my own planet if I had a cookie every time (no one really understands just how many voices are in my head. I don't just listen to 2 people on my shoulders, I have a congress in my head!).
Techercizer on October 25th, 2009 3:32 am

I have a gavel; your argument is invalid.

PINGAS!
Techercizer on October 25th, 2009 3:33 am

Chuck that lot and get a democratic assembly; it's like a congress, but you get to behead people who don't have majority support.

lawlsfrenchrevolutionjokes
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 3:47 am

Objection

That was also used in the tapping! However, before we go any further, your honor, I would ask you one question, are you missing anything right now?
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 3:47 am

I've tried beheading… Trust me. The little bastards just grow them back. That's why I made them a congress, they'll never get anything done so I don't have to make tough decisions.
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 3:50 am

HOLD IT!!

Your honor, you do not have to answer anything, this man is obviously just trying to cause a revolt.
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 4:00 am

Objection

Your honor, the court must know the truth! Are you missing a part of your body?!
Roflcopter419 on October 25th, 2009 4:03 am

OBJECTION!

None of us would really want to see if he is.
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 4:04 am

<.< >.>

*whispering to clock* he knows too much…
*throws a chicken at AceOf Skulls*
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 4:09 am

Take that!

Midgets, you just gave yourself away. This chicken has the same color and size of feathers as those found at scene of the sentry tap… a rare length for a chicken and looking at the comments I noticed you didn't post there. Which leads me to believe only one thing… YOU'RE THE SPY!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 4:20 am

Me?! THE SPY?!!>? How dare you make such an accusation after everything i have done for this cursed place!! You cannot understand what the truth is!!
TheAceOfSkulls on October 25th, 2009 4:33 am

Objection!

You proved yourself again, Midgets, or whoever you are. You forgot to use your fancy lawyer intergection at the beginning of your post. Either you are the spy or the judge is, and he can hurt still hurt my health bar with the gavel, so I sincerily doubt it's him. Haven't you played the PW games? There's always a red herring before the real criminal comes to light! You, sir are that criminal, or in this case THE SPY!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 4:38 am

G-gah, all those years wasted, you are good… FINE! IT WAS I, BUT I ONLY TAPPED THE SENTRY BECAUSE THE MACHINE OFFERED ITSELF! DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO ALWAYS ZAP THE SAME MACHINE EVERYDAY AND GO HOME TO NOTHING?! THE SCOUT'S MOM NO LONGER WISHES TO START SEXUAL ACTIVITY, I HAVE TO BUY A NEW SUIT EVERY DAY, SO YES, FOR ONCE IDECIDED TO JUST MAKE THE MACHINE WORTH MY WHILE! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!?!?!?!
Roflcopter419 on October 25th, 2009 4:39 am

Hey, MR. Racoon! It's Riot time!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 4:53 am

huzzah! riot time!! :D
Daifuku on October 25th, 2009 10:00 am

/thread
Leo058 on October 25th, 2009 12:01 pm

In Soviet Russia, page breaks you!
Daifuku on October 25th, 2009 1:26 pm

Dammit, I said /thread!!!
Leo058 on October 25th, 2009 2:06 pm

Erm… Objection?
Daifuku on October 25th, 2009 2:09 pm

OVERRULED!!!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 6:09 pm

NEVER!! WE PIERCED THROUGH THE WHITE PART OF THE SITE, NOW WE SHALL PIERCE THROUGH THE WINDOW ITSELF AND POST AT TEH FACE OF GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!
Techercizer on October 25th, 2009 6:30 pm

Long post is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 6:34 pm

this post is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONGER
Leo058 on October 25th, 2009 6:53 pm

OURS ARE THE COMMENTS THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVANS!
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 6:54 pm

DON'T BELIEVE IN US WHO BELIEVE IN THEM! DON'T BELIEVE IN THEM WHO BELIEVE IN US! WE MUST BELIEVE IN US WHO BELIEVE IN OURSELVES!!
Leo058 on October 25th, 2009 10:22 pm

Incidentally, I don't even watch that anime. Or any anime, for that matter. I just remember that line from a VG Cats comic.
ArmyOfMidgets on October 25th, 2009 10:24 pm

VG cats made a Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagan comic? *goes*
Sir_McCloud on October 25th, 2009 10:41 pm

Engineer=Science
Science=AWSM
AWSM=Nostalgia
Nostalgia=Bill Nye
So,
Engineer= Bill Nye?
Leo058 on October 26th, 2009 11:47 am

Two, actually. One was just a small reference, and the other was a pretty long one (it's one of the Super Effective comics).

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