THE UNIQUE TEAM UPDATE - BEWARE OF THE GUARD DOG

Mike found this gag-update through the official Team Fortress site. It’s a pretty cool idea, although I don’t know if adding a dog as the 10th class could really work. It might make balance issues a bit……. RUFF.
I’m sorry for that, but I mean come on, throw me a bone here!

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 22, 2009 · 11:57 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (193 votes, average: 4.58 out of 5)
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Categories:
Achievement Unlocked, Heavy Weapons, PC, Playstation, Team Fortress 2, Too Much Free Time, Valve Software, Weird, Wild Animals, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (118 Comments)





 

118 Responses to “BEWARE OF THE GUARD DOG”

  1. Shawn Handyside on September 22nd, 2009 3:55 pm

    Be sure to check out the link for the "full update!"

  2. MasqueNoMercy on September 22nd, 2009 4:07 pm

    oh man… why does it have to be fake? i would definitely play as the guard dog all the time ( i have not played TF2 yet but i did buy it )

  3. SSkye on September 22nd, 2009 4:14 pm

    Despite being obviously fake(since the update page wasn't made by Valve) A lot of people think Valve is pulling a Jarate on us and believe that it's going to be real and there have been several topics on people blaming furries. Apparently they can't tell the difference between a normal dog and an anthropomorphic dog.

  4. CaptainBaconMan on September 22nd, 2009 4:43 pm

    Handyside, the king of bad puns.

  5. Unsilenced on September 22nd, 2009 4:45 pm

    You have punned, and now you must pay the price.

    I darn you to heck for half an hour.

  6. Ashton_Anchors on September 22nd, 2009 4:47 pm

    That was horrible! You should be PUNished!

  7. Jgr9 on September 22nd, 2009 4:52 pm

    It might have been made by a fan, but Valve could still use it in the game eventually. The Blog post title does say "Patent Pending."

  8. Paulrus-Keaton? on September 22nd, 2009 1:01 pm

    Like the profileless user pointed out below, it could happen. A very well done update page, and Valve seems to have acknowledged that.

    http://www.teamfortress.com

    I dunno, gentlemen. I will still hold a suspicion that this is a clever update strategy by Valve, like the Sniper/Spy update. If not, they may see it as a good idea; animal cruelty or not.

    EDIT: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/94900-T
    I don't care. I still believe in the gong.

  9. Paulrus-Keaton? on September 22nd, 2009 5:01 pm

    Like the profileless user pointed out below, it could happen. A very well done update page, and Valve seems to have acknowledged that.

    http://www.teamfortress.com/

    I dunno, gentlemen. I will still hold a suspicion that this is a clever update made by Valve. If not, they may see it as a good idea; animal cruelty or not.

  10. Someguy5031 on September 22nd, 2009 5:22 pm

    You had me at "Jarate Dispenser" (see website).

  11. Darkangelsv1 on September 22nd, 2009 5:36 pm

    Heheh, real clever hoax.
    As Shawn said, PETA would get pissed. If they get pissed, please hand over the backburner.

  12. Last on September 22nd, 2009 6:28 pm

    it would be coool if they added the dog. only thing wrong about it that I can think of is when your playing the game and you see puddle of piss on the floor who do you yell at the sniper or the dog?

  13. BlueChameleon on September 22nd, 2009 6:33 pm

    Aww…I wanted to see a spy on his hands and knees!

  14. Santy on September 22nd, 2009 6:53 pm

    errrr did anybody say PETA RAAAAGE?!
    seriously if this is added, valve will suffer from animal protectors!

  15. Ataeru on September 22nd, 2009 7:10 pm

    wait, which is faster? the GuardDog or the Scout?
    if the dog is faster (and real) then the scout is out of the job.

  16. Puflwiz on September 22nd, 2009 7:45 pm

    this actually wouldent be a bad idea……….

  17. MrRaccoon on September 22nd, 2009 8:02 pm

    Good boy Shawn, good boy *pats head*

  18. Badonk on September 22nd, 2009 8:11 pm

    http://badonk.deviantart.com/art/FWAP-137896693
    Awwww that is the cutest ball of death i have ever seen :D

  19. kirbyownsyou97 on September 22nd, 2009 8:13 pm

    this is a awesome idea.
    and i cant believe it's getting considered.
    it would be even better if i actually had the game.
    i want it so bad.

  20. kirbyownsyou97 on September 22nd, 2009 8:55 pm

    of COURSE there are asses out there trying to ruin our hopes
    http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread….

  21. Caelun_Niveus on September 22nd, 2009 9:09 pm

    That dog is a spy!!

  22. Zack on September 22nd, 2009 9:37 pm

    Hmm..

    I wonder if this is real..

  23. Catnip on September 22nd, 2009 9:37 pm

    Well how is it any different to any other game with animals that get pwned? Name a game and there's bound to be some mindless bunny beating somewhere…if anything it'd be better in TF2 due to the cartoony-ness of the graphics!

  24. pl0xman123 on September 22nd, 2009 10:10 pm

    I sent Valve an email about why this update would be horrible:

    I really think this will be a bad update. The whole thing just makes me angry. I do not want to hurt an animal, even if it's in a video game.
    Making the dog track down enemies by sniffing their weapons/corpse is seriously just plain stupid. If I have been killed, I don't want the enemy to know exactly where to go to keep killing me over and over again. That'd make the game unplayable. Also, making it able to find disguised Spies is just.. wow.. I mean, really now. No one wants an enemy to keep interupting you if you're a Spy trying to go behind enemy cover. The guard dog would make it pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to play the Spy.

    I like the idea that it can provide you with ammo/health in the battle, though.. But don't we already have Medics and dispensers for that?

    Also, the Guard Dog would basically make the Engineer, Scout, Medic and Spy useless. It would probably be very fast(since it's a dog and all). It's basically a walking sentry. It gives ammo/health. And as the update said itself: It can track disguised Spies.

    -pl0xman123, AKA: [KnK] Psyduck.

    P.S. Please do not update Team Fortress 2 with an update like this. Keep updating it with good things though and I look forward for the next updates

  25. clfreak on September 22nd, 2009 10:32 pm

    That is the weirdest Alsatian I have ever seen…
    On another note: doggy!

  26. Link_09 on September 22nd, 2009 10:49 pm

    So i herd u liek puns.

    What's a Metroid's favorite kind of meat?

    Prime Rib.
    http://instantrimshot.com/

  27. DarkSpeedZero on September 23rd, 2009 12:34 am

    Beware of the
    SPY KITTEN

  28. DarkSpeedZero on September 23rd, 2009 12:34 am

    epic fail

  29. BurnoutSpartan on September 23rd, 2009 1:55 am

    Fully trained German Shepard: $1250
    Mounted Level 1 sentries: $2000
    Totally raping your enemies then pissing on them: Priceless

  30. VyseRogueKing on September 23rd, 2009 11:28 pm

    you know honestly I think it could work with proper tweaking the dog could be faster than normal but slower than the scout. (scout looks like he's doing pretty well. he hasn't been mauled yet…) maybe making the melee the more powerful attack meaning get a lot closer so there is more of a chance of killing it. Besides would Saxton Hale lie to us? He's too straightfoward of a guy

  31. VyseRogueKing on September 23rd, 2009 11:30 pm

    you know honestly I think it could work with proper tweaking the dog could be faster than normal but slower than the scout. (scout looks like he's doing pretty well. he hasn't been mauled yet…) maybe making the melee the more powerful attack meaning get a lot closer so there is more of a chance of killing it. Besides would Saxton Hale lie to us? He's too straightfoward of a guy
    also it's amazing that one piece of fan concept art stirred up something so big

  32. Erwin G on September 24th, 2009 6:56 pm

    His piss could be usefull to win "Hydro" :D (*cough* *cough* Territorial Control *cough*). And I hate to be the buzzkiller but there's a grammatical error in the "Rage -- Mad dog"-achievement (Ubbercharge).

    Plz don't flame on me D:

  33. Mijo on September 24th, 2009 10:23 pm

    Attack dogs with guns & goggles. . .
    We're screwed

  34. Nerdrage on September 25th, 2009 7:36 am

    Gah! if i see a whiney PETA fool trying to pick on Valve…

    it's a goddamn videogame! did the PETA complain to ion storm coz you coould shoot stray animals in Deus ex?

    as for the update itself, i think it's a bad idea, what purpose would the dog furfill? all the other team were desighned to work in harmony, but the dog would just be a stray gun and screw over the whole "team" part in team fortress.

    if this, to my dissapoint, gets introduced, would we need a Vet class?

  35. Harry on September 28th, 2009 3:57 pm

    Hey would y' look at this! They might actually do it! http://www.teamfortress.com/1308.htm

  36. VGGeek on October 17th, 2009 4:20 am

    I WAS TOLD WE WOULD BE FIGHTING MEN!

  37. Cactuspuncher on February 10th, 2011 11:58 am

    Giving the dog a BONK!

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