Pirate = Ninja

Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 12, 2008 · 5:48 AM

(506 votes, average: 4.56 out of 5)

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Categories:
Ninjas, Nintendo, No Caption Needed, Pirates, Science, The Legend of Zelda

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1501CommentsPirate+%3D+Ninja2008-09-12+09%3A48%3A14Shawn+Handyside to “Pirate = Ninja”

Pearcer on September 12th, 2008 5:53 am

OMG it all makes sense now! O.O
dimmiedrummer on September 12th, 2008 6:11 am

But, but… *cranium ignites*
bigballs on September 12th, 2008 6:28 am

someone explain…
Sarth on September 12th, 2008 6:31 am

…RUN MY BROTHERS THEY HAVE FOUND US OUT!!!!
Lupin on September 12th, 2008 6:46 am

There is a flaw in this logic. According to Maddox in the Alphabet of Manliness Pirates are manly. Therefore there are no female pirates (despite what Disney tells you). Therefore pirates do not equal ninjas.
SpiralCocktail on September 12th, 2008 6:50 am

Yeah… not really funny at all. That just proves that Zelda has already incorporated being a ninja and a pirate, the nonsexual fetish of internet geekdom, she’ll probably become a robot next.
Vabolo on September 12th, 2008 7:10 am

WITH THE POWER OF THIS KNOWLEDGE, WE SHALL UNIFY ALL INTERENT FORUMS IN ONE WHOLE!
Whit3_Crow on September 12th, 2008 7:36 am

ZOMG IS EPIC … ily person who made picture ^^. Friend retrives knife. *Makes zelda noise.* You have aquired knife: good for stabbing friends who <3 and hates ninjas … eep
Pigeon Army on September 12th, 2008 7:39 am

“Shigeru-san?”

“Yes, Eiji-san?”

“I think you need to look at this…”

“What are you talking about, Eiji-sa…OH HOLY SHINTO. They’ve found us out.”

“Shigeru-san, I’m scared.”

“I am too, Eiji-san. I am too. This could undermine everything we were going to do with Zelda…There’s only one answer.”

“What’s that, Shigeru-san?”

“Burn it all.”

“Shigeru-san?”

“Burn all the records. Sheik, Tetra, Zelda, all of it no longer exists.”

“But…the games we’ve sold…the user-made walkthroughs…”

“DESTROY IT ALL. ZELDA NEVER EXISTED.”
Nick Soapdish on September 12th, 2008 7:52 am

Pirate = Ninja
Now come on, this is really controversial.
This could cause as big as a storm as the Da Vinci Code.
Human on September 12th, 2008 8:01 am

Great, more 4chan material that is old.
rikumelenium on September 12th, 2008 8:04 am

ninjas are still better >_>
reconer45 on September 12th, 2008 8:09 am

Ninjas Hate Pirates. They Fight All The Time.
GenEX the Hareoic on September 12th, 2008 8:09 am

My brain hurts!
Pirinja on September 12th, 2008 8:10 am

Oh we’ve known about this for a while.
Deth2Gerbilz on September 12th, 2008 8:29 am

@vabolo

yes, perhaps this will end flame wars, the internets will become a peaceful place….exept for /b/.
Nova. on September 12th, 2008 8:52 am

But, but… ah… it’s all making sense now.

Wait hold on…

Pirates = Ninjas
Up = Down
George Bush = Smart

Omg! It’s making sense!
Fancylad on September 12th, 2008 9:27 am

My mind has been blown. 5/5
Hariku on September 12th, 2008 9:41 am

Oh lord…
roulette25 on September 12th, 2008 9:55 am

DEAR GOD, it all makes sense!
Gates on September 12th, 2008 10:04 am

Just because Tetra is a pirate doesn’t mean all pirates are Tetra. Same thing with Shiek and ninjas.

Also, OoT Zelda and WW Zelda are not the same person seeing how WW takes place 200 years after OoT.
MasqueNoMercy on September 12th, 2008 10:05 am

ya see… THIS is more like it… something clever
iNAKO on September 12th, 2008 10:06 am

My mind…blown
lumbersmith on September 12th, 2008 10:08 am

Nick Soapdish
“Pirate = Ninja
Now come on, this is really controversial.
This could cause as big as a storm as the Da Vinci Code.”

Agreed. If people are allowed to be offended at your 9/11 halolz, am I allowed to be offended at this?
Shaide on September 12th, 2008 10:11 am

The dispute is finally over!! .D
Lekonua on September 12th, 2008 11:10 am

Bricks = shat.
Human on September 12th, 2008 11:16 am

I am offended by this as a ninja. Take this down!

0/5
Scorpio2 on September 12th, 2008 11:46 am

This just proves that Zelda has a split personality problem; she thinks she’s a ninja and a pirate.

Besides, she’s a ninja, b/c ninja can disguise themselves as anything, including pirates. But pirates can’t do that.

Therefore, it’s still ninja > pirate.
Ridley on September 12th, 2008 11:59 am

oic wut u did thar
dekuskrub1 on September 12th, 2008 12:23 pm

does this mean we are all equils??

i dont like it
Kevin J. on September 12th, 2008 12:27 pm

Oh shit, my thinking thing!
/spontaneous combustion
@lumbersmith
go ahead, be offended :P
Romak on September 12th, 2008 12:30 pm

Pirates win in multiple categories (i.e. economy and culture) whereas ninjas can only win in war. WE’VE SACKED CITIES, for cripes sakes!
Dracula on September 12th, 2008 1:09 pm

@Human

Dude…..You aren’t a ninja.
Pauld'Arbonne on September 12th, 2008 1:47 pm

By god! Hell has frozen over! It’s the apocalypse!
lol good submission though, I never thought about that before. Zelda is truly the greatest princess ever.
FrEEz on September 12th, 2008 1:57 pm

I’m not sure what to say. Okay; Pirates=Ninjas. Err then what? :S Meh it’s good, but confusing. 4/5
FrEEz on September 12th, 2008 2:32 pm

Does anyone wonder where Nintendo are going with this? I’ve seen 2 very convincing zelda timeline videos but hope Nintendo go somewhere and not just create more and more zeldas which are completely unrelated to everything (like the windwaker and phantom hourglass, although PH was awesome.) Hopefully the next zelda game, or the one after it, will link (no pun intended) everything together. It would be like “The Legend of Zelda: Chain of History” or something like that.
zinraidragon on September 12th, 2008 2:34 pm

@reconer45
Yes, but it’s more of a sibling rivalry, it all makes sense thanks to this equation lol
Glitch on September 12th, 2008 2:57 pm

WW is far after Ocarina of time. This proves is that pirates are decended from ninjas
NCHammer326 on September 12th, 2008 2:57 pm

While we’re at it:

Black=White
Dog=Cat
Mario=Bowser
Rush Limbaugh=Gandhi
Kreachure on September 12th, 2008 3:07 pm

Anyone who doesn’t lol at this didn’t really get it (or doesn’t get the internet).

The Internet shall never be the same after this…
Trent on September 12th, 2008 3:17 pm

Great submission.

Except totally and utterly WRONG.

Thanks. :D

Besides…how many ninjas you seen with wooden legs?..none.. because they never lose em.. how did a pirate lose his?…cuz of a ninja.

Nuff said.
Red on September 12th, 2008 3:37 pm

You can’t argue with maths.
Ab-Noxious on September 12th, 2008 3:51 pm

Someone please wipe the brain matter off my screen so i can see what i am typing…
Lekonua on September 12th, 2008 3:53 pm

EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG!
Black is white, up is down, and short is long!
Dan on September 12th, 2008 3:55 pm

It’s like the proof that Stevie Wonder is God. (God is love, love is blind, Stevie Wonder is blind, therefore Stevie Wonder is God) As a fan of both visual jokes and first order logic I gave this 5/5.
Someguy503 on September 12th, 2008 4:02 pm

NO WAI!!!!
Abbot on September 12th, 2008 4:30 pm

@Scorpio2
I asgree… Zelda definitely has a split personality.

Oh, btw…I know where you live…
Atomic on September 12th, 2008 4:34 pm

Robots still win… forever
worksforme on September 12th, 2008 4:45 pm

Holy crap…. you just unified the internet….
Myrmidont on September 12th, 2008 4:49 pm

Except Ninjas aren’t anything special. They’re just samurais who did stealth and assassination missions.
That Guy on September 12th, 2008 5:53 pm

This is genious!
KidWithTheFace on September 12th, 2008 6:00 pm

@FrEEz
how about “a link to the past”?

also, i am forced to now assume that WW was just propaganda for boozin. happy friday!
Deth2Gerbilz on September 12th, 2008 6:32 pm

@myrmidont

yeah but whats better

stealthy samurai ninja mans
or
stinky drunk guys with swords
Segasonicdude on September 12th, 2008 6:34 pm

Hehe Zelda Plays for Both Sides
G1drake on September 12th, 2008 6:41 pm

ebtendido, now i get it
Chuck Norris on September 12th, 2008 6:46 pm

Everyone is forgetting that the ultimate force is the cowboy. Why?

Yours truly.
Halolz on September 12th, 2008 6:47 pm

@Chuck Norris

The Joker is a cowboy?
Paulrus on September 12th, 2008 6:58 pm

And thus, 1+1=3.

5/5
InvisibleMan on September 12th, 2008 7:01 pm

I AM ERROR.
Shadow Link on September 12th, 2008 7:12 pm

As much as I like this, the logic is flawed. All Tetras may be pirates, but not all pirates are Tetras. Same for the Shiek/ninja thing.

5/5, for the LULZ, though.
KingofRetards on September 12th, 2008 7:18 pm

I AM SO OFFENDED! Not only did you make fun of pirates; YOU MADE FUN OF NINJAS!!!1!1!1!!one!!1111!!1!9/1111!!11!1! FLAME FLAME FLAME FLAME FLAME (nah j/k 5/5)
MexicanJuice on September 12th, 2008 7:50 pm

OMG. NINJAS AND PIRATES ARE ONE! No wonder they’re equally awesome! It finally makes sense!
Evitron on September 12th, 2008 7:51 pm

MY BRAIN SHE IS IMPLODED
Ripshot on September 12th, 2008 8:01 pm

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Ripshot on September 12th, 2008 8:02 pm

OWAIT
it’s a different Zelda in wind waker, she can’t turn into Shiek

LOGIC FLAW’D
pbbbbbbt on September 12th, 2008 8:03 pm

HA HA! PEG FACES FOR EVERYONE!
Mining4Soup on September 12th, 2008 8:04 pm

Pirates… Ninjas… a Jedi thinks not of these things
Scorpio2 on September 12th, 2008 8:46 pm

@Abbot
I know where you live too….well, the general idea, mebbe i won’t get lost next time
Abbot on September 12th, 2008 8:47 pm

@Scorpio2
Try to use a correct map next time.
Haywire on September 12th, 2008 8:48 pm

HOLY FUCK, EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE.
Scorpio2 on September 12th, 2008 8:49 pm

@Abbot
I don’t need no stinkin’ map. you live in the middle of no where and they don’t mark that on maps cept with “Here Be Dragons”
Abbot on September 12th, 2008 8:50 pm

@Scorpio2

You mean “nowhere”
Abbot on September 12th, 2008 8:51 pm

@Myself
Damn Grammar Nazi
Flagman on September 12th, 2008 8:56 pm

So, wait, that would mean that-GAH!
*Headasplode*
burnoutspartan on September 12th, 2008 9:22 pm

Makes sense to me….
carl on September 12th, 2008 9:50 pm

Pirates
Ninjas
Robots
why cant we just all live together in harmony and refer to them as to what they truly are
Gods
Doc ock rock on September 12th, 2008 11:58 pm

…Now on to samurai and vikings
Yggdrasil on September 13th, 2008 12:04 am

This puts the conflict in a different perspective, not end it: is it Pirates = Ninjas or Ninjas = Pirates?
Yggdrasil on September 13th, 2008 12:06 am

@Haywire
Including the cake.
Solar Zero on September 13th, 2008 12:16 am

Are we so sure to not say that the two are equal, but rather that the two are the same thing? Ooooooo
Shadow Link on September 13th, 2008 1:58 am

@Abbot

STOP HAVING SO CLOSE TO MY NAME, plz. It’s creepy to be skimming and then suddenly come across that.

J/k. :P

(But it does trip me up, though.)
FalconCrunch on September 13th, 2008 6:13 am

So what I am getting at is that in order for a ninja to become a pirate I must accept that he must (step one) bring about some unknown feminine side by what most brilliant minds consider a mathematical impossibility (step two) further indulge in the acts of cross-dressing which probably involve drunken kaoroke nights singing some archaic tune of some diva (step three) Develop a disease that turns him into a midget AND become diagnosed with a massive case of elephantitis of the skull (step four) Lose a leg, grow a beard and hang around on a ship for months/years with former ninjas of similar issues?

I deny your hypothesis on the grounds of mathematical impossibilities of step one. You fail at bringing harmony to the masses
gunsandblades on September 13th, 2008 9:45 am

i would like to nitpick here and say there is no commas or therefores in this equaation, show your work please
Teradohn on September 13th, 2008 11:04 am

Oh my gawd! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!
CaptainBaconMan on September 13th, 2008 6:11 pm

Damnit I was going to post this. This was ripped from 4chan though. I saw the discussion about it.
Robotpirateninja on September 13th, 2008 7:26 pm

:O
Animedevildog on September 13th, 2008 10:01 pm

All this pirate vs. Ninja arguments make me wanna break out Mr. Rogers in his blood stained sweater to kick some serious ass!
Burnt Eyes on September 14th, 2008 1:34 am

I think my brain just broke…
Rayza B on September 14th, 2008 6:58 am

Yes…
Jeot21 on September 14th, 2008 4:28 pm

Ninjas of the caribeans!
Ask a pirate!
Miketuu on September 14th, 2008 7:06 pm

If Ninja=Pirate, then
Spy=Engineer? maybe?
Teradohn on September 14th, 2008 9:14 pm

@Miketuu
Hmm… If it can be proven, it will be posted.
pbbbbbbt on September 14th, 2008 11:24 pm

HA HA! PEG FACES FOR EVERYONE!
Human on September 15th, 2008 5:20 am

Animedevildog, the only guy who can whine about 9-11 jokes and make fun of the late Mr. Rodgers at the same time.
Animedevildog on September 15th, 2008 2:29 pm

At least I have yet to make a crack about a baby back rib stand next to a clinic…
Did I just say that outloud???
Archwright on September 15th, 2008 2:33 pm

Actually, we’ll only have a problem if Zelda ends up as a cowgirl in the next game.

…oh shit…what have I just done?
Archwright on September 15th, 2008 2:34 pm

Although, I cannot recommend googling Zelda + cowgirl.
Animedevildog on September 15th, 2008 4:10 pm

OMFG!!! I googled Zelda + cowgirl… O.O
If you do it, make sure safe search is ON!!!
Hobbs on September 17th, 2008 10:43 pm

I printed this and took it to my math teacher. He made it clear that this has nothing to do with math. I took it to my history teacher. She found it odd that samurai weren’t in the sequence. I took it to my local mcdonalds. The cashier had some sort of mental breakdown. And he wouldn’t give me a cheese burger. Is that two words? Cheese…Burger. Hmm….
LaundryMan on September 23rd, 2008 6:41 pm

Hmm…
Okay.
dekuskrub1 on September 25th, 2008 10:23 am

i dont think its the same zelda or link in each game

cuz what r the chances that link is the chosen one like 20 times over?

plus in twilight princess when u get the forest clothes they say they were worn by the hero of time a looooong time ago
Logan on September 28th, 2008 4:00 pm

If you ask me wind waker should’ve been taken out of the legend of Zelda series. It sucked BIG TIME.
Mega Robinson Man on September 28th, 2008 8:11 pm

Just googled Zelda + cowgirl. Got nothing. Stop lying to the masses Animedevildog and Archwright
Now….
Damn you math.
DONT SCREW WITH THE NATURAL ORDER!!!!
Sir Calibur on September 30th, 2008 7:00 pm

@Logan

How did WW suck? It was easy (ok, it was impossible to die easy) but it was fun and the art style was majorly cool.
VDOgAmfrEk on October 4th, 2008 11:35 pm

Wait…so if Pirate=Tetra…then tetra=zelda…then…wait…math is failing me…

a=b
b=c
c=d
d=e
e=f
a=f?
Random Man on October 12th, 2008 7:02 pm

So being a ninja is that easy? I have to be a pirate when I’m a kid, then grow up to become a princess, then I can be a ninja?!… Wait a minute, I can’t be a princess, I’m way too sexy… And a man!
Willow on October 13th, 2008 6:54 am

about pirates being manly i think that they are really girly infact with all the frills and such..
deadtreekid on October 17th, 2008 12:12 pm

Well, technically, Tetra was Zelda’s, what was it, great great great grandkid or something? so really she can be a pirate and zelda could be a ninja but it wouldn’t mean that pirates = ninjas. this proof explodes in the third step. =P
arghtoknoobs on October 29th, 2008 5:10 pm

Logic does not equal truths fools!

let me show you in a simple example:

All A is B.
B is C
All A is C

Superman is from krypton
All kryptonians are women
Superman is a woman

Logical, however not true.
Klonoa on October 29th, 2008 9:54 pm

Holy Jesus it’s all making sense now! Tetra is a pirate… Tetra is toon Zelda. Toon Zelda is Zelda… Zelda is sheik… Sheik is a ninja… Pirates are Ninjas.
Exploderizer on November 4th, 2008 10:45 am

EMO PIRATES.
They’re being WAY too hard on themselves.
Teradohn on November 8th, 2008 1:35 pm

Now we need one that proves Sonic = Mario. >__________<
Dark Light on November 12th, 2008 11:53 pm

However, if this even works out, we all know that Ninjas are MORE equal than pirates…
Jykcor on November 13th, 2008 5:23 pm

Pirate=Ninja
Macs=PC’s
God=Devil
America=Russia
Democrat=Republican
Truth=Lies
Blind=sight
Black=White
red=blue

TF2 has been debunked!!!!
Snail on November 24th, 2008 7:25 am

The day the internet exploded…
Scarlet on December 4th, 2008 12:15 am

omg omg i love pirates vs. ninjas and all the fandom

btw i was born on day of the ninja Dec 5 so i’m automatically a ninja freak

but dude this puts a whole new light into pirates vs. ninjas….omg… the ancestor is really a common female pirate ninja princess mage lol……dude this freaking rocks, we must spread this to both pirates and ninjas forums all over
zelda is the key who would have guessed it

anarchy
chaos
disarray

It does not matter it must be known to all !!!!!!!!!!!!! spread the word !!!!!!!!
Scarlet on December 4th, 2008 12:22 am

omg omg the cake is a lie!!!!!
the cake is a lie!!!!!!!
damn it damn it all to helll

(this is like a planet of the apes moment here holy crap)

tell everyone i must tell the world………………bbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppp
becca! on December 5th, 2008 4:23 am

PIRATES>ninjas
orreso on December 20th, 2008 9:29 am

zelda? what's zelda?
orreso on December 20th, 2008 9:30 am

<.<
>.>
/slits throat
anomynous on January 5th, 2009 1:07 am

5 dollars to whoever names the mathematical method that is shown here
Exploderizer on January 10th, 2009 12:14 pm

The wrong one.
Purplemon739 on January 10th, 2009 12:37 pm

Does that mean Zelda's emo?
Purplemon739 on January 10th, 2009 12:40 pm

So, basically what you're saying is that every blind person in the world is God… Hmmm…
Mike on January 12th, 2009 2:50 am

No, she just forgot that Pirates hate Ninjas. But if someone tells her, the contradiction will make her mind asplode.
Mike on January 12th, 2009 2:52 am

Also, the Hyrule that the OoT Zelda lived in was buried underneath the water that became the Great Sea of WW and blah blah blah.

We know.

Being technical ruins jokes. If you're responding to a joke, please don't be technical.
Someguy5031 on March 22nd, 2009 5:17 pm

And every blind man is Stevie Wonder!
Merenwen99 on March 23rd, 2009 9:09 pm

That, my friend, is not Disney; that's Zelda. And I resent the fact that there are no female pirates.
Lupin on April 1st, 2009 1:11 am

I wasn't referring to Zelda. I know who Zelda is. If I didn't then I wouldn't be on this site because I'd clearly have no idea what a video game is. Disney has this whole "Pirate princess" concept. That's what I was referring to.
DeathCubeK2112 on April 7th, 2009 8:41 pm

Now all we must do is splice her genes with master chief's and will have created the ULTIMATE!!!!! MWHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Tessa on May 17th, 2009 9:46 pm

Uhh, no. The ninja were a group of mountain people who were harassed by city people. They developed ninjitsu in order to protect themselves. An occasional one would sell his skills, and that created the stereotype.
M-Cheezy on June 3rd, 2009 11:44 pm

Um, I don't think crossdressers can be ninjas…

there…you've been disproven!
Toasty on June 6th, 2009 5:04 pm

Try taking it to your local nabourhood hobo… he knows everything, he even taught me how to dance.

Cheesburger is one word btw.
Toasty on June 6th, 2009 5:08 pm

Sapper=Sentry
Electricity=Bullet
Light=Fight
Good=Evil
God=Saten

O MAI GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!!!!!
History Nerd on July 1st, 2009 7:39 pm

Not true, because back between 900-1400 a.d. , ninjas and samurais were paid a lot, and they also lived a very unique lifestyle. also, ninjas r kewl. Pirates<Ninja
Name on July 1st, 2009 7:42 pm

TRULY YOU ARE WISE!!!! plus, stevie wonder had some good tunes
Xyxoz on July 12th, 2009 9:39 pm

I'm a ninja and a pirate, then again, I'd be lying as a pirate and failing as a ninja, meaning I'm a normal person, which means I'm telling the truth about both, and when you find out how to get out of the infinite loop of pirates and ninjas, you shall discover that I'm actually an autistic teenage boy sitting at his dad's computer melting all of your brains using infinite loops, ninja-pirates, and reverse psychology. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a mars colony to work on.
Senax on November 6th, 2009 5:04 am

Pirates had rum.
Rum > Pirates > Ninjas