The Legend of Cucco

Necessity (and repeated pecking injuries) is the mother of invention!
By DjBisparulz, submitted by Sebastian M.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 17, 2011 · 12:57 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (371 votes, average: 4.81 out of 5)
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Categories:
Artistic, Cutesy Wutesy, Nintendo, Sequential Art, Shields Up, Tactical Retreat, The Legend of Zelda, Tips & Tricks, Wild Animals

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73 Responses to “The Legend of Cucco”

  1. BigmanQ on December 17th, 2011 12:59 pm

    WHY WASN'T THIS A SHIELD OPTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 1:01 pm

    That's good.
    …Now do it with Majora's Mask.
    Defend yourself from enemies and scar them for life, what's not to like?

  3. ChemicalKirby on December 17th, 2011 1:05 pm

    That shield would be so OP.

  4. tveye on December 17th, 2011 1:06 pm

    Unless this is Twilight Princess, then the Stalfos will only turn into cuccos…which didn't make any sense.

  5. Link Lab on December 17th, 2011 1:17 pm

    ……Why the hell did I never think of this? It would have saved me so much trouble.

  6. Wetmang on December 17th, 2011 1:19 pm

    <img src=http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liagnba7fK1qew6kmo1_500.jpg>
    Ow Ow Ow Ow!

  7. Drake148 on December 17th, 2011 1:27 pm

    I'm so happy a friend of mine send this…

    That Link ovbiosly have been playing dead rising 2!

  8. PortalMan118 on December 17th, 2011 1:31 pm

    *About to post funny comment, randomly starts snowing on Halolz*

    Me: WTF!?

  9. CosmicSkyscrapa on December 17th, 2011 1:32 pm

    It doesn't have a condition bar, right?

  10. Link Lab on December 17th, 2011 1:35 pm

    I'd say there's a 30% chance that the Cucco Sheild has a condition bar.

  11. MokubaKaiba on December 17th, 2011 1:39 pm

    http://theuniblog.evilspacerobot.com/wp-content/u

    sorry i dont know how to use the internet like everyone else here, so i dont know how to make it show up

  12. EddRazzell on December 17th, 2011 1:40 pm

    LINK'S SHIELD
    + On hit, enemies take damage from cuccos.
    - No random Crits

  13. Uzumakiclan43 on December 17th, 2011 1:52 pm

    Good thing Link stopped himself from cutting that blade of grass for one measly rupee.

    He'd probably get a better deal for that shield on Beedle's List.

  14. Caelun_Niveus on December 17th, 2011 1:54 pm
  15. MokubaKaiba on December 17th, 2011 1:55 pm

    cool thanks

  16. Fluffy_Quack3r on December 17th, 2011 2:03 pm

    I love the art style :3

  17. Jimmy on December 17th, 2011 2:10 pm

    I just thought of something…if you can't harm a Cucco without getting mauled to death by a horde of them, how do Hylians get their chicken dinner?

  18. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 2:24 pm

    Preemptive strike tactics. AKA, everyone is a professional assassin yet you are Link, saving the world from the evil forces.

  19. GenCasar on December 17th, 2011 2:39 pm

    Even then, there's an 85% chance that such a bar would be irrelevant, for in the off chance the shield breaks, one can simply grab another chicken.

  20. Darknut_Hunter on December 17th, 2011 2:40 pm

    Damn nintendo! This would be amazing!

  21. GenCasar on December 17th, 2011 2:47 pm

    And if that fails, in the off chance you're fighting at the top of some tower or castle wall, you can use your shield to make a hasty retreat and glide safely down to the bottom!

    …Just, make sure there's actually visible ground underneath you. I need not remind you about how far a bottomless pit can go.

  22. death_by_Cucco on December 17th, 2011 2:49 pm

    I like where this thread is going

  23. TheInsaneWombat on December 17th, 2011 2:50 pm

    I tried that already. It just made me get attacked by Cuccos with shields. :c

    Stupid glitchy AI.

  24. ganru4 on December 17th, 2011 2:56 pm

    GUYS IT SNOWS ON HALOLZ NOWZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  25. Link Lab on December 17th, 2011 3:09 pm

    *Checks the comments*
    *Sees death_by_Cucco*
    ……………….
    *runs the hell out of here*

  26. Hejiru on December 17th, 2011 3:17 pm

    Don't worry, I'll put an end to it. GO RAYQUAZA

  27. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 3:17 pm

    The Golden Rupee Armor has absolutely NOTHING on this!
    Hell, I don't even think the Starman or Sonic's Invincibility boxes can top it.

  28. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 3:19 pm

    But, depending on the game once again, there is only a 47% chance of finding a Cucco in the game where they are the most populous.

  29. AManWithACloak on December 17th, 2011 3:21 pm

    There are no crits in zelda anyway, so yes, it is OP.

  30. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 3:21 pm

    O hai thar.
    <img src="http://www.serebii.net/art/th/79.png"&gt;
    I didn't see you come in.

  31. AManWithACloak on December 17th, 2011 3:23 pm

    Disclaimer: Shield will not function unless fed and exercised regularly.

  32. Hyze on December 17th, 2011 3:47 pm

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a cock block.

  33. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 4:24 pm
  34. TomQuoVadis on December 17th, 2011 4:27 pm

    Well that was pretty fu- OH MY GOD THE PAGE IS SNOWING.

  35. Alpar on December 17th, 2011 4:31 pm

    Cucco Shield:

    Negatives: Cuccos will every now and then try to peck on your skin for food, take dumps on your clothes, lay eggs on you while you're not looking, and become fierce and harder to control during special occassions.

    Positives: It's a shield made of Cuccos. Your enemies don't have a chance. Plus you might get laid with the Cucco lady, if she's not too old, unwilling, or appalled by the fact you smell.

  36. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 4:35 pm

    very "adventure time" -ish

  37. Seanhl on December 17th, 2011 4:46 pm

    if you get hit, the armor will summon the spawns of he… uh I mean the local farm to do your bidding

  38. Seanhl on December 17th, 2011 4:49 pm

    Link doesn't need your silly rpg fighting elements in his games, he just uses rpg elements for everything else

  39. Seanhl on December 17th, 2011 4:51 pm

    hopefully he tied it instead of ducttaping it to the shield, because if he were to have to rip it off…

  40. Seanhl on December 17th, 2011 4:53 pm

    <img src="http://gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=2114725&t=o&quot; border="0"> (my reaction by the way)

  41. Paulrus-Keaton? on December 17th, 2011 5:00 pm

    This is my humorous cucco comme-HOLY CRAP IT IS SNOWING ON HALOLZ! WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

  42. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 5:00 pm
  43. Ice_Cold_Water on December 17th, 2011 5:03 pm

    It snows on Halolz now?!

    Grr..hnegh…hnnnng!!! CHRISTMAAAAAASSS!!!!!!
    <img src=http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/17235_104125529606172_100000261774254_100053_6397098_s.jpg>

  44. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 5:26 pm

    Actually, the new R-R-R-REACTION SPAM!!!

  45. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 5:40 pm

    R-R-RAIN FOREST

    I SAID R-R-RAIN FOREST

  46. Omnomynous on December 17th, 2011 6:15 pm

    Go OBAMASNOW!~

    <img src="http://i487.photobucket.com/albums/rr232/roymbrog/Obamasnow.png"&gt;

    Use Ice shard!

    Problem solved. Let it snow, Halolz.

  47. penguindude42 on December 17th, 2011 6:21 pm

    SO INTENSE! What could it mean?

  48. Passerby Boy on December 17th, 2011 6:25 pm

    There is a powder item in I think Link's awakening, that if used on a Cucco, it bursts into flames and dies, yes, it actually dies.

  49. John_Know_Doe on December 17th, 2011 6:29 pm

    ZELDA IS A RPG. this information has ruined my childhood.

  50. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 6:30 pm
  51. Omnomynous on December 17th, 2011 6:30 pm

    *goes to halolz*
    *sees* it snow*
    Huh, that's cool, seen it few days before.
    * refreshes page to see if anyone commented on my comments*
    HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THE SIDES CHANGED!

  52. Vosur on December 17th, 2011 6:53 pm

    So THAT is what is in the Colonel's Secret Recipe.

  53. Vosur on December 17th, 2011 6:54 pm

    Pre-plucked chicken?

  54. GanjalfTheGreen on December 17th, 2011 7:00 pm
  55. vash_ts on December 17th, 2011 7:11 pm

    better idea! tie tingle to your shield!

    now every enemy will attack at your shield instead of you!

  56. Ice_Cold_Water on December 17th, 2011 7:34 pm

    <img src=http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d131/weirdo_tow/WHOOPS.gif>

  57. Deep Thought on December 17th, 2011 7:47 pm

    Probably not on Halolz. I, for instance, have been murdering the shit out of enemies of the empire, because that sith bastard asked me to.

  58. dope92 on December 17th, 2011 9:39 pm
  59. Skrist on December 17th, 2011 10:02 pm

    Seriously people? You would downvote an actual comment towards the subject rather than something that doesn…

    <img src="http://i315.photobucket.com/albums/ll478/Zokort/O_o.jpg"&gt;

    …I understand that… but still not much reason to downvote vash. But will someone still kill it with fire?

  60. Dash12345678 on December 17th, 2011 11:01 pm

    They tried to kill Tingle with fire, but nature fought back by making Halolz snow, dousing the fire. Some immutable laws of the universe keep him alive.

    Spoilers below

    SS revealed what keeps most of the main cast alive, (spoilers end) but I don't think we'll ever really know anything about Tingle.

  61. Passerby Boy on December 18th, 2011 12:29 am

    That's odd….. 3 people post something about Halolz snowing, and they at least stay in the positives, you're the first one to post that the sides have changed, and you get negatives. Hm, I guess I'll give you a +1 then.

  62. Drjolt on December 18th, 2011 1:41 am

    This is obviously shopped. The chickens would be outside forever in the REALLLL game. Waiting. WATCHING.

  63. mikeorike on December 18th, 2011 3:07 am

    i miss ed edd n eddy

  64. JboneDRS on December 18th, 2011 5:03 am

    No I think the cucco's just really don't like Link.

  65. SHODAK on December 18th, 2011 7:26 am

    I'm seeing a critical weakness around the knee region.

  66. jostimaster on December 18th, 2011 7:46 am
  67. Oddwan on December 18th, 2011 7:53 am

    They don't

  68. HughbertEsq on December 18th, 2011 9:35 am

    Cocky…

  69. HughbertEsq on December 18th, 2011 9:42 am

    The only way through that defense is my collection of…. BEEROIDS (Beer x Steroids)
    And even with then I must still be able to punch a lion in the face whilst painting a picture of Mila Kunis with my penis, ONLY THEN can I penetrate that dreaded Cucoo shield!
    NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME
    I MUST PRACTICE
    *Jet-packs away to imminent Grizzly Bear sky wrestling match*

  70. vash_ts on December 18th, 2011 6:57 pm

    i was downvoted?
    Why would someone do that?? T.T

    by the way, you need to apply the cream

  71. SonicsmyName on December 18th, 2011 10:14 pm

    Unless it's the zoo!

  72. MagmarFire on January 2nd, 2012 11:49 pm

    With this in mind, it's a shame there aren't Cuccos in Skyward Sword.

  73. the _cucoo_in_the_hat on April 8th, 2012 4:36 pm

    Lol if nintendo did this I would use that thing in every dungeon. Arbiters grounds:√ shadow temple:√ ganon/ganondorfs castle:√. Like a boss.>:)

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