Violence never solves anything. Well except for that one time… when it solved EVERYTHING.
By GilbertSmith
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 28, 2011 · 4:00 PM
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Categories: Explosives, Heavy Weapons, PC, Playstation, Portal, Swordplay, Valve Software, Xbox 360 · Leave a comment (90 Comments) |
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What is this I don't even.
It's Explosionday! Happy Explosionday!
Needs more explosions.
*Read in movie trailer voice*
In a world where everyone needs a hero… one core answers the call.
He is… RICK, THE ADVENTURE SPHERE
coming soon to a testing facility near you, Explosion Day 2011
The funny thing is, I actually want to hear Rick's theme re-orchestrated for the next Video Games Live.
not to be confused with 'splosion day which was when 'splosion man came out
I don't want to scare you, but, I'm an Adventure Sphere. Designed for danger. So, why don't you go ahead and have yourself a little lady break, and I'll just take it from here. Did you hear that? I think something just exploded. Man, we are in a lot of danger. This is like Christmas. No, it's better than Christmas. This should be its own holiday. Explosion Day!
…
Once again, Shawn you leave me at a loss for words.
Edit: HELP! I'VE BEEN STRUCK BY TROLLS!!!
Portal Wars
Episode V
WHEATLEY STRIKES BACK
It is a dark time for Aperture Science. Although the Death Cube has
been destroyed, Wheatley's troops have driven the Aperture forces from
their hidden base and pursued them across the laboratory.
Evading the dreaded Wheatley Monitors, a group of freedom fighters
led by Rick the Adventure Sphere has established a new secret base in the remote
depths of Test Shaft 9.
The evil lord Darth Space Core, obsessed with finding young Rick,
has dispatched thousands of remote Frankenturrets into the far reaches of
Aperture Labs…
Give the Fact Sphere some narration and fit in a scene with Space Sphere getting a cameo, and badda-boom, you have the next action movie of the decade.
Really though, I wish Valve would give some extension attention to the personality cores.
Space Core obsessed with something other than space?
Go to space jail!
Of course violence never solved anything. Violence is never a solution. It's a QUESTION. As seen here:
Q: Should we use violence?
A: Yes.
So.. Wheatley's the Emperor?
*falcon punch the -1 troll and give thump up*
omg you're rigth we should use violence
Copyrighted by Insanity Wolf.
This is almost as epic as my daydreams. But there is one key difference. My daydreams take place in the sky!
Oh! I always have a blast on Explosionday!
"Hello? Mr. Bay?"
Violence? It's called rickence because he's so awesome. And condoms? THEY'RE CALLED RICKOMS NOW!
Dude, Red has got that silence perfect. ON A MOUNTAIN.
So do your own thang.
Now let me say how this makes me feel…
…
…
…
OMFG, IFUCKINGLOVERICKTHEADVENTURECOREFUCKYEAH!
*DUUUUUR-DEEET DUUUUUR-DEEET DUUUUUR-DEET*
(thats meant to ba an alarm)
So Rick would continue his adventure movie career for 10 more years, lose his lustre, make some commercials and cameos and eventually fade into drunken obscurity.
That's 3 Sashas which is roughly $360,000 every 12 seconds.
What about Ms. Splosion Day?
<img src="http://www.chessville.com/images/Full%20Metal%20Jacket%20c.jpg">
WHO -1'd ME? WHO THE FUCK -1'd ME? WHO'S THE SLIMEY LITTLE COMMUNIST SHIT TWINKLE-TOED COCKSUCKER DOWN HERE WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?
NOBODY, HUH? THE FAIRY FUCKING GODMOTHER -1'd ME! OUT FUCKING STANDING! I WILL PONY TROLL YOU ALL UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE! I WILL PONY TROLL YOU UNTIL YOUR ASSHOLES ARE SUCKING BUTTERMILK!
WAS IT YOU YOU SCROUNGY LITTLE FUCK, HUH?
That gave me an erection.
Day for female explosionists everywhere.
[i] This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. [/i]
And who is princess lea?
And han solo?
And- *slapped*
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless.
*Shoots QueenofSouls, then self*
<img src="http://images.wikia.com/simpsons/images/4/47/Nimoy.jpg"/img>
Hello. I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of an Aperture Science product being involved in adventures a long, long, time ago in a galaxy far, far away is true. And by true, I mean it's a piece of cake. They're all moist, sweet, caloric pastries. But they're delicious pastries. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no. Now our story begins on a Friday morning in a little backwater planet called Tatooine…
Now if he was more intelligent, id call him:
<img src="http://www.cracked.com/blogimages/2009/02/timepanties2.jpg">
Edit: Darn, forgot to bring troll-reppelent today :(
Uh.. it's $400,000 every 12 seconds for Heavy to use Sasha, yet it is only $360,000 for Rick to use 3? Does Rick get a discount on his ammunition? And, if so, who does he get it from? He might have a new customer.
you just read this in his voice
my preparations for it always just blow up in my face
I didn't know Michael Bay made a Portal clip.
*WII U WII U WII U*
It's more of a siren, but I think it gets the message across.
Well I think each personality core was a copy of a person in real life.
Space core probably came from an astronaut.
Adventure Core clearly came from Michael Bay.
Mine take place in space. Just sayin'.
Violence never solved anything… unless it was a falcon punch, then IT SOLVES EVERYTHING.
Did a bang-up job of solving English Tyranny.
It's the answer to your boring life. Embrace it. Embrace adventure… sphere.
<img src=http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llzuopzm6T1qczjumo1_500.gif>
I can't believe I'm saying this, but what a good use of gary's mod.
Looks better than duke nukem forever thats for sure this actually has guns in it.
This submission was approved by Micheal Bay
It certainly beat all those German Nazis!
I wonder if it would work on the French. They surrender to fast for us to get any good data, though.
*+1's out of sheer fear*
Hugo Strange?
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/52/ModernHugoStrange.jpg">
Violence is not the answer…
…it is the solution.
Because there was no question.
Only a problem.
Do it first to the Italians. You know what they would do…
"It costs $400,000 to fire this weapon for 12 seconds."
Three Sashas would be $1,200,000 per second.
swords and guns? bullshit, Rick uses eye lasers.
I was gonna say something witty, but then i heard the DADADADADADADADADA DUNDUNDUN and now my brain is somewhere in the back wall.
They always get blown out of proportion
Detection of erection has caused a change of direction of mental projection
OHGOD THE FACE! THE FAAAAAAAAAAACE!
<img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfi03wHdlo1qbvc38o1_500.png">
As soon as I saw this I thought of this picture
<img src="http://images.roosterteeth.com/images/product_1259006535f.jpg" >
ooooh, my bad…
<img src=http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTsESfWFX6NMKt76BDJt1yQEGefcK3-uJdWunY9C70SYqidFPZS>
<img src="http://guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/full-metal.jpg">
Well, no shit. What have we got here? A fucking comedian. Private Joker.
I admire your honesty… Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and FUCK MY SISTER!
*Cockpunches Fhantinabox*
YOU LITTLE SCUM BAG! I'VE GOT YOUR NAME! I'VE GOT YOUR ASS! YOU WILL NOT LAUGH! YOU WILL NOT CRY! YOU WILL LEARN BY THE NUMBERS I WILL TEACH YOU! NOW GET UP! GET ON YOUR FEET!
YOU HAD BEST UNFUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!
Cannot unsee…
What the space core sees in his head all day
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/56/Nyan_Cat_animation.gif/300px-Nyan_Cat_animation.gif">
The companion cube is Han Solo
Chell is Liea
I think that Michael Bay is based off of the Adventure Core and is constantly trying to earn his recognition. Rick has yet to return any of his calls.
inb4SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
There is no problem that cannot be solved with large quantities of well placed high explosive
Cave Johnson Kenobi.
Fact Core as C3PO.
Anger Core as Chewbacca.
Also -- the Space Core should be the Emperor. Wheatley is perfect for Darth Vader -- being on the light side as Anakin (helping Chell) and on the dark side as Vader (destroying Aperture).
OBJECTION!
Erm… Just because it rhymes…
And we can trust you. You have science in your name!
S'okay. We all make mistakes.
Silly, he's obsessed with ADRIEN BRO-DY A-DRIEN BRO-Y
…curse you for taking my lines. But +1 for being space.
Send Link?
<img src="http://www.gameinformer.com/cfs-filesystemfile.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Discussions-Components-Files/153/0576.DrHax.jpg">
They do look kind of similar, don't they?
A little bit…
NO! They'd send Ezio! But you were close.
In addition, I was in fact once obsessed with something other then space. Which was going back to Earth. It didn't last long.
Wanna take over space.
Actually. this is what I see in my head all day. http://poptartin.spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee.co…
Space is dark.
Dark side is dark.
Ergo -- Space Core likes Dark Side.
The funny part? Check his right pocket. Gold chain.
Dear god… it's a bit chilly in here…
what the hell is he saying at the 0:30 mark
Or a hat. I like hats
That Geico commercial is right, he makes a terrible therapist. In addition:
DS: Where are you from Private Joker?!?
PJ: Sir! Texas Sir!
DS: Texas! There are only two things that come from Texas, and that's steers and queers, and I don't see any horns so that must make you a queer. Private Joker, do you like sucking dick?!?
Yeah, but it's all worth it when things just SNAP together.
L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lazer face! Uh-huh.
L-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lazer face!
Can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my Lazer face!
Next person who makes a pun gets a taste of sledgehammer.