I am Heavy Weapons Guy. And THIS... is my poker face. It took 4 years of practice to stare like this for twelve seconds.

Who would have thought all that special poker training he received back in the USSR would end up paying off? Then again who ever thought he’d be playing poker against Max, Strongbad and Tycho?
By Sir Kemper

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 6, 2010 · 6:42 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (154 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)
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Awkward Moments, Card Games on Motorcycles, Off Duty, PC, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Uncategorized, Valve Software, Video Clips

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82 Responses to “I am Heavy Weapons Guy. And THIS… is my poker face.”

  1. Jimmy on November 6th, 2010 6:49 pm

    "FUCK YEAH!!!"

  2. Flamerider on November 6th, 2010 6:57 pm

    Keep this in mind, Strong Bad is right there; a character whose first appearance was in a children's book.

  3. HeavyDDR99 on November 6th, 2010 6:59 pm

    Holy crap yes

  4. Vosur on November 6th, 2010 7:18 pm

    POW! Hahah! -Flings a card onto the table then blows the top of his fingers as though they were a barrel muzzle-

  5. Dr. Furry on November 6th, 2010 7:23 pm

    its sad to think people will buy this game ONLY for the tf2 and never touch the game itself

  6. FoxyMayo on November 6th, 2010 7:24 pm

    Playing poker with four eccentric characters? And I get items for TF2?

    What do you say, d20, should I get it?

    *rolls a nat-20*

    F*CK YEAH!!

  7. Paulrus-Keaton? on November 6th, 2010 7:25 pm

    *preorders game for Heavy hat*
    Yup. Damn shame.

    Anyone still play Alien Swarm?

  8. spplmj on November 6th, 2010 7:26 pm

    It looks like the stakes for this game…

    *Puts on shades*

    just got Heavy

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  9. Paulrus-Keaton? on November 6th, 2010 7:32 pm

    Strong Bad: HEEEEEH VAAAAAAAAY! HEEEEEEH VAAAAAAAAAY!
    Heavy was a GUY!
    Um…. he was a WEAPONS GUY!
    Uhh…. maybe he just liked WEAPONS!
    But he was still HEEEH VAAAAAAY!
    HEEEEEH VAAAAAAY!

    Gunninating the capture points!
    Gunninating the payloads!
    Gunninating the other teams!
    And the their TINY BABY MEEEEEEEN!
    TINY BABY MEEEEEEEN!

    AND THE HEAVY SCREAMS OUT:
    "CRY SOME MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!"

    (jugga jigga wugga)

  10. MercenaryBlue on November 6th, 2010 7:36 pm

    Beat me thrice… I am sent to my death

  11. MercenaryBlue on November 6th, 2010 7:43 pm

    You know what this game is missing as a player?
    A motherfuckin' Creeper!

    He calls your bluff by hissing.

  12. MexicanJuice on November 6th, 2010 7:50 pm

    Hey, I was going to buy the game regardless. Those TF2 unlocks were simply icing on the cake. Sweet, delicious icing….

  13. MexicanJuice on November 6th, 2010 7:51 pm

    Do not try to bluff Sasha.

  14. smashpro1 on November 6th, 2010 7:52 pm

    The very fact that this game exists blows my mind.

    Not a fan of Tycho's voice, though.

  15. Dr. Furry on November 6th, 2010 7:54 pm

    since before the official announce when it was in speculation i KNEW there was going to be unlocks

  16. Mentlegen on November 6th, 2010 7:58 pm

    Bonus Hat?!

    DAT FEATURE.

    Anyway, i think the rest of the RED team is not going to be invited.

  17. MorningMoon on November 6th, 2010 8:27 pm

    We can.

    We just chose not to.

  18. NoChorus on November 6th, 2010 8:32 pm

    He comes for the killing juggas, but he stays for the sandvich jigga wuggas.

  19. aimless_void on November 6th, 2010 8:38 pm

    Seaking?

  20. Dumblederp on November 6th, 2010 8:46 pm

    OH HO HO, THAT SLAPS ME ON THE KNEE!!!

  21. Daifuku on November 6th, 2010 9:00 pm

    1:23

    He rolled a Natural 20 on his Luck roll.

  22. RickO_ on November 6th, 2010 9:14 pm

    rel="nofollow"> Heavy beats Gaga at music.

  23. Paulrus-Keaton? on November 6th, 2010 9:23 pm

    Comes after "AMERICA!"

  24. Coodoo on November 6th, 2010 9:25 pm

    5/.5 for Strong Bad
    No questions asked.

  25. Deep_Thought on November 6th, 2010 9:26 pm

    Of course Alien Swarm was free, and therefore painless.

    I sure haven't played that game in a couple of months

  26. Matterisgood on November 6th, 2010 9:33 pm

    NOW, just imagine Captain Falcon and Gay Oak crash through the door and join the game.

  27. _XD on November 6th, 2010 9:47 pm

    Chuck in Phoenix Wright and we've got a party.

  28. Sir_Nox on November 6th, 2010 9:56 pm

    MY FISTS! THEY ARE MADE OF…Aluminum, because I lost all of my money and that's all I could afford…

  29. Sir_Nox on November 6th, 2010 9:57 pm

    And why wouldn't it exist? Remember the Phoenix Wright/Professor Layton game from a few weeks ago?

  30. Zyquux on November 6th, 2010 10:19 pm

    MOUNTAINS!

  31. Tael on November 6th, 2010 10:39 pm

    I really wanted this game, but didn't have any money.
    So I traded a TF2 hat for a gifted version.

    God, I love the internet…

  32. Zyquux on November 6th, 2010 10:48 pm

    Here's an idea for a TF2 hat: Strong Bad's mask for the Spy

  33. tstriker1 on November 6th, 2010 11:16 pm

    And beat him FOUR times, a lvl 4 sentry pops out of nowhere and shot everyone…

  34. GameboyPATH on November 6th, 2010 11:25 pm

    +1 for "Gay Oak"

  35. ZegenRuki on November 6th, 2010 11:30 pm

    You know what's funny? I bought Poker Night just to spend the $5 that was left on a gift card on what I thought was a potentially fun game. Suddenly hats and unlocks are announced and all the TF2 hat fanboys (hatboys?) rush to get it.

    Also, it's weird hearing Heavy using his inside voice. I think the only other time he was quiet was in Meet the Heavy.

  36. smashpro1 on November 6th, 2010 11:35 pm

    So many things make mind=blown.

  37. bawkbawkboo1 on November 6th, 2010 11:40 pm

    I saw the signs for this back at Pax Prime. I was skeptical that they could voice Tycho in a way that wasn't terrible, but i guess it could be a lot worse. I doubt Jerry would have to patience to actually record all that crap himself.

  38. Caelun_Niveus on November 7th, 2010 12:16 am

    Great Scott!

  39. Matterisgood on November 7th, 2010 12:33 am
  40. Vosur on November 7th, 2010 12:34 am

    1.21 Gigachips?

  41. TCC on November 7th, 2010 12:41 am

    Some think they can beat my hand…. maybe… *sniff* maybe…

    But I have yet to meet someone who can beat pa-pa-pa-poker face!

  42. Xyxoz on November 7th, 2010 1:14 am

    Pokemon Black and White, Phoenix Right/Professor Layton, Fable 3, Portal 2, and now this. Mentlegen, I believe the new generation of gaming has truly begun.

  43. Darkangelsv1 on November 7th, 2010 1:41 am

    And this is how I remember Paulrus.
    I fucking want to have your adoptive babies, man.

  44. dekuskrub1 on November 7th, 2010 2:50 am

    is it bad that the first thing i looked for was how many aces were in that pic?
    there were 6 by the way

  45. Kirby_Emprer on November 7th, 2010 3:40 am

    "take that chiner man"

  46. dope92 on November 7th, 2010 4:06 am

    iseewutudidthere

    trogdor.

  47. Vlauer on November 7th, 2010 6:30 am

    You think you're good? My (idiot) friend sold his unusual hat for around 50 euro, so… yeah.

  48. Mentlegen on November 7th, 2010 9:59 am

    I hope not because i did the same.

  49. MexicanJuice on November 7th, 2010 10:23 am

    HOT DAMN
    http://www.telltalegames.com/pokernight

    Go to that site RIGHT now, and listen to that music. I promise you will not be disappointed.

  50. HeavyDDR99 on November 7th, 2010 10:31 am

    sweet now all we need id strippers and were gold

  51. HeavyDDR99 on November 7th, 2010 10:32 am

    aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddd we pull ot the obligatory gaming webcomic ref

  52. Dimomarg on November 7th, 2010 11:16 am

    Would be better if they were playing the children's card game. Okay, maybe not better, but more lulzy.

  53. Kevvo on November 7th, 2010 11:34 am

    Ameeericaaaaaa…..

  54. Jimmy on November 7th, 2010 12:02 pm

    Ah, but of course!!! It's like the obligatory nice dinner I gave your mother before having relations with her and never returning her phone calls.

  55. HeavyDDR99 on November 7th, 2010 12:11 pm

    you sir are TASTELESS
    I challenge you to a dual of a gentlemanly quality

  56. Jimmy on November 7th, 2010 12:31 pm

    I verily accept your challenge. *Slaps you with a white glove softer than your mother's ass* What say you to the criteria of this gentlemanly duel?

  57. General_Asshat on November 7th, 2010 12:56 pm

    The first thing I'm going to do is bid 400,000$ against the Heavy.

  58. Crazysam10 on November 7th, 2010 1:13 pm

    Relevant.
    rel="nofollow">

  59. Flamerider on November 7th, 2010 4:12 pm

    Actually that's not really relevant at all.
    As far as I know anyway.
    But being a good sport I'm open to being proven wrong.

  60. Jimmy on November 7th, 2010 4:56 pm

    GRAMMAR BALL!!!

    *Shoots
    Your sentence structure itself is difficult to decipher considering that it's not a complete sentence.

  61. Jimmy on November 7th, 2010 4:57 pm

    I'm skeptical of Pokémon Black & White…it doesn't seem "cool" enough to me. Everything else passes in my book.

  62. balmonte on November 7th, 2010 7:44 pm

    Some people think they can out-bluff me. Maybe.. *sniff* Maybe. But I have yet to meet one who can outsmart boolets. *Drops pocket Aces*

  63. MercenaryBlue on November 7th, 2010 8:59 pm

    Its a poker game. What did you expect?

  64. HeavyDDR99 on November 7th, 2010 9:21 pm

    a dual by swordsmanship
    I must warn you i have spent years practicing in fine dapperyland

  65. Xyxoz on November 7th, 2010 9:31 pm
  66. Zyquux on November 7th, 2010 9:33 pm

    How much do you want to bet that bidding $400,000 will be an achievement?

  67. VJoe10[8] on November 7th, 2010 9:58 pm

    It's totally worth it.

  68. Kirby_Emprer on November 7th, 2010 10:23 pm

    I kind of feel sorry for the heavy weapons guy… I mean if he loses 3 times… then he dies. Well any way this looks awesome even though i have no clue how to play poker XD

  69. Alpar on November 7th, 2010 10:28 pm

    Is it a bad thing I'm only getting this game to learn Poker and get the TF2 items?

  70. Jimmy on November 7th, 2010 10:47 pm

    I must warn you that I was taught by the monks of the Shaolin Monastery.

  71. ZatchZombie on November 8th, 2010 2:51 am

    You have a flush and go all in, just as your about to rake it in who comes in with one more chip than you and a royal flush?
    Gary Motherfuckin' Oak.

  72. Neentendow on November 8th, 2010 3:20 am

    Are you sure it isn't $400,000?

  73. General_Asshat on November 8th, 2010 7:30 am

    $12 dollars.

  74. General_Asshat on November 8th, 2010 7:31 am

    Whoopsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

  75. HeavyDDR99 on November 8th, 2010 5:26 pm

    It seems we are of equal strength this shall be an epic fight
    fit for the ages

  76. Jimmy on November 8th, 2010 6:14 pm

    Indeed. Had I not one body, I would most indubitably record this momentous sparring match whilst enjoying heated dehydrated corn kernels dabbled with buttery delight.

  77. spikkle on November 8th, 2010 9:41 pm

    I would do it. I would do it nine times.

  78. TomKitsune on November 9th, 2010 3:04 am

    Anyone know who does Tycho's voice? It sounds familiar.

  79. GameboyPATH on November 9th, 2010 1:23 pm

    Bid? It's poker, not an auction. :P

  80. Killamakaze on November 9th, 2010 9:56 pm

    I take it this is why the Homestarrunner.com site hasn't had any new videos…?

  81. Jimmy on November 12th, 2010 2:55 pm

    Well, it's a little bit of a stretch but, essentially what I'm saying is that although Strong Bad was for "kids" he eventually because somewhat more of a badass "young adult" pop culture reference. So, while he's STRONG AND BAD, he's still popular with the kids. LOL IDK. WHATEVER.

  82. Kam_Fakami on November 20th, 2010 8:16 pm

    Comes after "In".

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