Being one of the three starter Pokemon seems awesome, unless you’re the one that isn’t picked. Then you’re FOREVER ALONE…
By Bob McPhee
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 3, 2010 · 2:12 PM
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Categories: Advice Meme, Depressing, Nintendo, Pokémon · Leave a comment (143 Comments) |
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I chose Bulbasaur the first time I played Pokemon Red…
I sure wished I could steal them all and then run like hell.
He's still saur about it even to this day.
Why can't we do that, anyway? He can't even tell if you're a boy or a girl…Surely he wouldn't notice. It's not like you're riding a bike indoors!
Yep, Bulbasaur never gets picked. Big deal, he's stuck in a comfy Pokeball.
Meanwhile, if you choose Gym Leader as a profession, you're forever stranded with an unlimited supply of badges, forever handing them out to ten year olds better than you, and will probably make something out of themselves.
there is a time and place for everything!
DA may not respond because his or her status is eternal aneurysm from that pun.
Then Pokémon Yellow comes along, and oh surprise, there's just only one pokéball in the desk. And it has Eevee.
What happened to that Bulbasaur pokéball, doc Oak? What happened? Did it went ot a faraway happy place? Did it become part of your experiments?
Only time will tell.
"Did it WENT oUt a faraway happy place?"
your mistakes are capitalized :l
heres the fix
"Did it go out a faraway happy place?"
inb4Femaletrainerandtentacles
And this is why I like to pretend it's the Pokemon Special canon where the third one was taken by Green.
A rolling Pokéball gathers no moss. Except if it's grass type.
Or maybe it's replaced with an empty pokeball, and Bulbasaur is forced to work for Oak forever!
*Blue
She's TEN you sick fuck!
*Orange
Possible fix'd fix:
"Did it go out TO a faraway happy place?"
But not now.
LMAO I legitly just did the voice for Bulbasaur in my head for that sentence. It makes it oh that much more epic.
As long as there's GRASS on the field, you can still play ball.
DAT ASS…uh, I mean DAT GRASS…
Wow, this has provoked intense philosophical thoughts for me.
What happens to the starter you don't choose?
I mean of course the Pokeball stays on the table or in the sack or wherever you got it from.
But what happens to the POKEMON?
This obviously depends on what happens to a Pokemon when it is encapsulated in its Pokeball. If it remains in a modified state then it is likely still conscious, maybe even relaxing in its round abode. But what if it's not? What if the Pokeball mechanism converts the Pokemon's entity in terms of raw energy? Then for all intents and purposes… The starter you don't choose is dead. It will never return to its physical form, and be among its colleagues and rivals. Knowing this makes it extremely difficult for me to choose any of the three starters; not because I want one over the other, but because I fear the fate of the unwanted Pokemon.
It's like encasing Han Solo in carbonite: Yes he is visibly still there, but really IS he? He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know what's going on around him. He can't do anything about what's being done to him. We can still plainly see him on Jabba's palace wall, but his existence is questionable. We only know he is still alive when Princess Leia frees him. But as for Bulbasaur, there IS NO PRINCESS LEIA.
I'm also quite reminded of Schrodinger's Cat, for some reason. When you pick your starter, you are told what Pokemon is in each Pokeball, and then you make your pick. The one you pick is the cat that you free from the box to find it still alive! But there is still one cat left. No one will open his box. When you beat the Elite Four and go back to Oak's lab to get your National Pokedex or whatever plot ticket it might be, you see that the BOX IS STILL UNOPENED. At this point, you can't be sure if the cat in it is alive or dead! Except instead of a cat, it's a Bulbasaur! You could have been Bulbasaur's liberating angel but noooo, you wanted the fire lizard instead. Does Bulbasaur resent you for that? Can it even still have its own thoughts? That is a terrifying thought for me.
*Yellow
*Chartreuse
ah… the good old days when you could use "Cut" on grass, too…
Long post is saaaaaaaad.
;_;
He probably uses Bulbasuar's vine whip as a long arm grabber.
Oak: Pokemon aren't meant for battling
They're meant to be tools for invalids.
Inbe4TOOLONGDIDNOTREAD
Watch, she will turn RED any second now…
…any second now…
Oh, that's okay. If you don't want to have Pokemon RUINED FOREVER FOR YOU, then you probably shouldn't read it anyway.
*Turqouise
racist
You should consider how In the anime, "Jessie has a Wobbuffet that frequently emerges from its Poké Ball to shout its name or cause what Jessie considers to be trouble."*
Also, in the anime all the pokeballs are small when on a trainer's belt and then grow in when the button is pressed and the pokemon is released.
*= http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Wobbuffet_…
*Magenta
Well, at least Professor Oak has some company when he's burning the midnight oil at the PokeLab. Alone. With a Bulbasaur. And its throbbing bud. And seeds. And tentacles. Vine whip…..
Fixed, or changed, whatever you want to call it, in Heart Gold and Soul Silver, where the third pokeball dissapears partway through the journey, and it is hinted that it was given to a new trainer.
Actually, through a glitch, you can fight Oak. One of his pokemon is the final form of whatever didn't get picked.
Don't forget in Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, where some other trainer you know gets the third one. Yes, Game Freak didn't want us to have to live with the guilt of denying life to a perfectly good starter Pokemon.
*Periwinkle
*Teal
"First off…are you a boy or girl?"
"Boy."
"…here have a dragon."
"And you?"
"…Its me gramps. Your grandson?"
"Oh…here have the one that has dual cannons jutting out of its shell and is the complete weakness of the one I just gave the other trainer."
"…." *Pokes bulbasaur pokeball* "One day we'll get a female trainer for you."
Dosen't Oak keep the last one and raise it? Or Green/Blue gets it? Or something?
Yeah, but no one actually WANTED any of those…
Correct me if I'm wrong (I haven't played in a LONG time) but doesn't someone come and like, steal the third on in Gold/Silver/Crystal? I could be wrong, I just seem to remember that…
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
What is a Pokeman? Just a miserable pile of secrets.
*Indigo
(See what I did there?!)
Well I guess Bulbasaur will be
*sunglasses*
Green with envy
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*Burnt Umber
I was gonna make the same joke on a different topic
I was wondering more about that one guy who had been "secretly training his whole life [there]"
Not only did I see him at the Burned Tower, but his name is plastered on the gym sign. He was less secret than the village next door that even the map says has ninjas in it.
Does he just suffer from short term memory loss (especially apparent when he wiped me out and then reintroduced himself to me, that or he was doing it to piss me off)? Or do they all just have stand ins that take over while they nap behind the stone pillars, invisible to those of us who see via a camera suspended from an angle above us?
i always pick bulbasaur since it has an advantage over brock's rock pokemon and misty's water pokemon. why is everyone hatin' on the saur?
*Light Red
-Yeah, they've already go a color that means light red. Know what it's called? Pink!
And once we learn all the colors, we'll learn why you shouldn't judge people by them.
*MAHOGANY!!!
I found it in SoulSilver. He gave it to an NPC.
Why? Because he's an Oak. A motherfucking Oak (who came as fast as he could).
Well Excuuuuse me, princess! Fast typing + not native english speaker = this. Also, Basket got it right on the context.
Now someone needs to make a full 4-pane!
TO THE BEEMOBILE!
I have to say, this was the most thought provoking, yet clinically depressing, post I think I have read on Halolz. A standing ovation and a +1 to you.
Personally, I like to believe Oak is taking care of Bulbasaur, you know, inbetween sleeping with my mom.
Goldenrod
Luckily, this issue was fixed during the 4th generation. Hurrah for Dawn picking chimcar!
*Lavender
And now I have come to the realization -- oak must be really numb in the head. He forgets about his rare Pokemon straight on his desk, and hires 10 year olds to go on a life threatening journey for research. ALL while standing at the same spot for 3 years.
good gravy, he's dumber than Patrick.
You can't use cut on grass anymore!? When did that happen?
Comfy? Do you know why hostile Pokemon are instantly your BFF's when you catch them? There too happy to be out of that hell hole to bother hating you for putting them in there in the first place.
See? RED! Oh, wait, that's just blood.
Lets see what Google has to say about this…
Your story checks out.
well in the anime when misty unintentionally catches psyduck it actually shows the inside of the pokeball with psyduck still consious but just stuck in the small round room of the pokeball
ninja'd
flesh
Fourth gen. I think.
Fuck you, Oak! I'll ride my bike when ever I feel like it!
*Turns around, sees crowbar wielding Oak*
Oh shi-
I'm Ash Ketchum, and I am here to ask you a question?
Is a man not entitled to the Pokemon he catches?
No, says Professor Oak, it belongs to research!
No, says the man in Rock Hideout, it belongs to us!
No, says the squirtle in Kanto, it belongs to the wild!
I rejected those ideas. I chose something new. I chose the impossible. I choose you, Pikachu!
*Black
He certainly wouldn't stop you going into the tall grass seeing as you have a pokemon.
Bulbasaur:OH FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG
"Oh Sweet! Tentacles!"
Or, they are instantly gratified for removing them from the dangers of outdoor life by giving them a nice warm home.
no wonder he's alone, he's hideous! D:
me too I want pokabu and wotter at the same time
*Tan
(Look what I started… kinda.)
What did Bulbasaur ever do to you???
You people can be so mean!!!
…You know what, I'm gonna choose Bulbasaur as a starter and then we'll see whose laughing!!!
*chooses Bulbasaur*
Dumb NPCs don't know how to handle the raw power of Bulbasaur!!!
I'd say this answers your question… http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=29
+1 for that
*Ebony
That's scary.
But not as scary as Untooned Kirby…
Schrodinger's Cat reference! you're my new hero! Star wars reference in an original way! you're still my hero! (for unoriginal reference see "It's a trap!")
Bitch be tripping balls.
Imagine being a trainer standing in the moon cave or whatever it was called and standing at the end with some bellsprouts that don't have flash. How did they get there without flash anyways? I remember looking at the screen at the right angle and not having to use flash. :P I was 6 at the time I felt like I was superior to the puny game designers…
They just love me for my pokeballs? o.0 get your mind out of the gutter! The pikachu in the pokemon yellow wouldn't go in a pokeball. He also hated the PC system. At that point in time they probably ran of windows 98 or something earlier. What is it like in a pc? I want to know! Why did they only episode that explained that get canceled and give seizures!
Well I can tell you it worked in 3rd gen. I loved the idea that you could cut through a patch of grass for 5 hours instead of 5 pokemon battles especially when you find out that all your pokemon are too low a level to do anything because you just deprived them of exp. I thought new games are all wanting realism for some reason. looks like I was wrong.
Little does the trainer know… They're all magikarps :P
<img scr="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/kirby.jpg"alt="kirby"/>
rel="nofollow">
To answer your question.
I think it's cute XP
Nope.avi
In Black/White the problem is solved at the start of the game. The prof sends a gift to you and your two friend/rivals You choose first (I think it's your birthday) the female rival chooses the weaker one, and finally the male rival chooses the remainder/stronger one.
And it is stolen in Gold and Silver after you deliver the Egg
yes, he is just running towards Green….
She's 10 Bulbasaur, you sick fuck!!!
(this has been overused here, I know, sorry)
In Gold/Silver/Crystal, you pick one and the rival steals the type advantage one. That game's rival is the stereotype cruel trainer, at least at first. There is some character development later on.
If that could be turned into a comic…
It would be a most powerful submission
CALLING ALL CARTOONISTS!!!!
Him, well, I only played the ones on the Gameboy…
That's almost more genius than exploding penguins…
Almost…
I just wished it was gone in Diamond & Pearl because of the PokeRadar. It would've helped SOOOOO much…
You know, ten with breasts has me SOOO confused…I mean it's certainly POSSIBLE (Shoot, with all the hormones & stuff in our food nowadays, I'm surprised it didn't happen SOONER. It's just…such TEMPTING JAILBAIT…but it's like cradle robbing…)
Those eyes remind me of granny tits. It's most disturbing.
Piplup used "explosion"
Its super effective!!!
OBJECTION!
Explosion is a Normal-type move, therefore it would not be Super Effective.
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/089/9/d/Bu…
This is why we can't have nice things! (I know my caption sucks)
Edit: I can't seem to 'post' the picture. I know it has something to do with the html <img> thing but I can't get it to work. Halp!
Well, excuse me while I never play Pokemon again… Screw starters, what about all those Pokemon you catch just to complete your Pokedex? WHAT HAPPENS TO BIDOOF?!?
… Okay, no one really cares.
WHAT HAPPENS TO HO-OH?!?
http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/118/793794-p…
Trainer threw Prinny
Foe Piplup fainted
* Ivory
It's not pink, it's lightish red.
Fill your cravings at the Circus of +1.
*Dante's guns
Upon rereading the comments, it occurred to me that they would be… less then happy when released from there happy place.
I'm flattered that you would photoshop your face for this. :D
Well, the thing is, I (and likely many people here) have played plenty of games where we kill (like Pokemon, I'll explain later). Do we let that bother us, no. Billions of nameless, faceless virtual lives lost at our hands. A game like Grand Theft Auto is infamous for it's killing, yet there are people we're not allowed to kill. While it's possible to like them, most people will not care for or even hate. Tell me you didn't want to put a bullet in Roman.
Sure some games try to justify it. They do this by making them all bad guys trying to take over the world or whatever, but how often do you share this view? While Ezio (of Assassin's Creed) takes no pleasure in killing, each game has new ways for us to kill enemies. Hell, AC2 has an achievement called "Doctor." It's unlocked by poising a unsuspecting guard, then assassinate him from an elevated position. It's nether required or practical, but it's fun.
As for Pokemon, it has far more killing than most people will ever realize. Take a look at a Life Alert commercial, all those people lived be cause someone just so happened to be coming over that day. If you haven't figured how this relates to Pokemon, then start the game up head into some grass a fight a wild Pokemon. Did you win? If so, imagine what will become of that wild Pokemon. They will require medical attention, however they are stuck in the area you defeated them in. Maybe, if there lucky enough, someone will show up and have mercy. You could say they all find help, after all, you never see any dead or fainted Pokemon, but you still leave them ALL to die.
tl;dr Schrödinger's Bulbasaur
And I just got Bioshock too! +1 for you.
We haven't even considered that some lucky rich brats in out elementary school classes would get two versions of red and/or blue so that they could wind up with a party holding all three starters. Start a game file, trade your starter over to the other game, restart, pick another, repeat as necessary to get desired results.
Think about that. The Pokemon that were not chosen in those instances weren't just neglected, like the one you mentioned- they, and the entire worlds they inhabited, were deleted on the spot just so another world could be created to allow for one Pokemon to be taken from it. It's sort of like creating Pokemon from nothing, creating worlds just to pluck them and then destroy them by writing over them.
Gotta catch 'em all, indeed.
inb4DooD!
You just lost the game! D:
-every gym trainer and wild pokemon becomes fire type-
D:
Magikarps that just happen to know Metronome.
I did the same thing in Animal Crossing, just to get different fruit trees.
but now squirtle sits alone forever, how does that make you feel?
well pokemon don't seem to age, jst have pubertity, sometimes more than once!
no, just REALLY lazy
LOL no, it's not my face. My face would make women weep for joy, men kill themselves in anguish, and lesbian women become bisexual.
still kinda sad; but were it Charmander… well, then my heart is a stone
No problem, I bought lots of burn heals, and…
wait a minute… even… even Caterpie becomes fire type?!? http://nooooooooooooooo.com/
yes, but Piplup is a penguin, so he screws all the rules
I always thought Oak used it. :'(
heh i forgot that
….you are….SCARY!
So you stare at granny tits on a regular basis?
BULBASAUR used HARDEN!
BULBASUAR used HORN DRILL!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASUAR used STRING SHOT!
BULBASAUR used RECOVER!
BULBASAUR used HARDEN!
BULBASAUR used HORN DRILL!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASAUR used POUND!
BULBASAUR used STRING SHOT!
BULBASAUR fainted!
Yeah, that's what I'm staring to think too…
She said she was kidding…
or was she???
*cornflower
(actual color)
If the graphics were any better, we might be able to see all their evolution-induced pimples!
No…but I've read enough comedy birthday cards to know more than I should… (O.o) Damn Hallmark…
wait, so;
granny tits = comedy birthday cards???
I'll be right back, I'm off to Hallmark hq with Mr. Fish…
*Cerulean
I like to think Kris took it
Ah -- Touche!