YOU CHOOSE CHARMANDER, MY GRANDSON CHOOSES SQUIRTLE... BULBASAUR STAYS ON MY DESK FOREVER

Being one of the three starter Pokemon seems awesome, unless you’re the one that isn’t picked. Then you’re FOREVER ALONE…
By Bob McPhee

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 3, 2010 · 2:12 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (264 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Depressing, Nintendo, Pokémon

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143 Responses to “YOU CHOOSE CHARMANDER, MY GRANDSON CHOOSES SQUIRTLE”

  1. Fhantinabox on November 3rd, 2010 2:17 pm

    I chose Bulbasaur the first time I played Pokemon Red…
    I sure wished I could steal them all and then run like hell.

  2. Link4all on November 3rd, 2010 2:21 pm

    He's still saur about it even to this day.

  3. tveye on November 3rd, 2010 2:26 pm

    Yep, Bulbasaur never gets picked. Big deal, he's stuck in a comfy Pokeball.

    Meanwhile, if you choose Gym Leader as a profession, you're forever stranded with an unlimited supply of badges, forever handing them out to ten year olds better than you, and will probably make something out of themselves.

  4. Darkangelsv1 on November 3rd, 2010 2:30 pm

    Then Pokémon Yellow comes along, and oh surprise, there's just only one pokéball in the desk. And it has Eevee.

    What happened to that Bulbasaur pokéball, doc Oak? What happened? Did it went ot a faraway happy place? Did it become part of your experiments?

    Only time will tell.

  5. OrionX on November 3rd, 2010 2:39 pm

    inb4Femaletrainerandtentacles

  6. ZegenRuki on November 3rd, 2010 2:41 pm

    And this is why I like to pretend it's the Pokemon Special canon where the third one was taken by Green.

  7. Dimomarg on November 3rd, 2010 2:42 pm

    A rolling Pokéball gathers no moss. Except if it's grass type.

  8. BoxeyBrown on November 3rd, 2010 2:42 pm

    Or maybe it's replaced with an empty pokeball, and Bulbasaur is forced to work for Oak forever!

  9. Totema on November 3rd, 2010 3:14 pm

    Wow, this has provoked intense philosophical thoughts for me.

    What happens to the starter you don't choose?

    I mean of course the Pokeball stays on the table or in the sack or wherever you got it from.

    But what happens to the POKEMON?

    This obviously depends on what happens to a Pokemon when it is encapsulated in its Pokeball. If it remains in a modified state then it is likely still conscious, maybe even relaxing in its round abode. But what if it's not? What if the Pokeball mechanism converts the Pokemon's entity in terms of raw energy? Then for all intents and purposes… The starter you don't choose is dead. It will never return to its physical form, and be among its colleagues and rivals. Knowing this makes it extremely difficult for me to choose any of the three starters; not because I want one over the other, but because I fear the fate of the unwanted Pokemon.

    It's like encasing Han Solo in carbonite: Yes he is visibly still there, but really IS he? He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know what's going on around him. He can't do anything about what's being done to him. We can still plainly see him on Jabba's palace wall, but his existence is questionable. We only know he is still alive when Princess Leia frees him. But as for Bulbasaur, there IS NO PRINCESS LEIA.

    I'm also quite reminded of Schrodinger's Cat, for some reason. When you pick your starter, you are told what Pokemon is in each Pokeball, and then you make your pick. The one you pick is the cat that you free from the box to find it still alive! But there is still one cat left. No one will open his box. When you beat the Elite Four and go back to Oak's lab to get your National Pokedex or whatever plot ticket it might be, you see that the BOX IS STILL UNOPENED. At this point, you can't be sure if the cat in it is alive or dead! Except instead of a cat, it's a Bulbasaur! You could have been Bulbasaur's liberating angel but noooo, you wanted the fire lizard instead. Does Bulbasaur resent you for that? Can it even still have its own thoughts? That is a terrifying thought for me.

  10. Paulrus-Keaton? on November 3rd, 2010 3:54 pm

    Well, at least Professor Oak has some company when he's burning the midnight oil at the PokeLab. Alone. With a Bulbasaur. And its throbbing bud. And seeds. And tentacles. Vine whip…..

  11. Karhs12 on November 3rd, 2010 4:02 pm

    Actually, through a glitch, you can fight Oak. One of his pokemon is the final form of whatever didn't get picked.

  12. DM1293 on November 3rd, 2010 4:15 pm

    "First off…are you a boy or girl?"
    "Boy."
    "…here have a dragon."
    "And you?"
    "…Its me gramps. Your grandson?"
    "Oh…here have the one that has dual cannons jutting out of its shell and is the complete weakness of the one I just gave the other trainer."
    "…." *Pokes bulbasaur pokeball* "One day we'll get a female trainer for you."

  13. Hejiru on November 3rd, 2010 4:31 pm

    Dosen't Oak keep the last one and raise it? Or Green/Blue gets it? Or something?

  14. Crazysam10 on November 3rd, 2010 4:58 pm

    Well I guess Bulbasaur will be

    *sunglasses*

    Green with envy

    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

  15. TheAceOfSkulls on November 3rd, 2010 5:14 pm

    I was wondering more about that one guy who had been "secretly training his whole life [there]"
    Not only did I see him at the Burned Tower, but his name is plastered on the gym sign. He was less secret than the village next door that even the map says has ninjas in it.
    Does he just suffer from short term memory loss (especially apparent when he wiped me out and then reintroduced himself to me, that or he was doing it to piss me off)? Or do they all just have stand ins that take over while they nap behind the stone pillars, invisible to those of us who see via a camera suspended from an angle above us?

  16. TheAceOfSkulls on November 3rd, 2010 5:18 pm

    I found it in SoulSilver. He gave it to an NPC.

    Why? Because he's an Oak. A motherfucking Oak (who came as fast as he could).

  17. Leo E. on November 3rd, 2010 5:36 pm

    Now someone needs to make a full 4-pane!

    TO THE BEEMOBILE!

  18. Newbonzy1 on November 3rd, 2010 6:29 pm

    And now I have come to the realization -- oak must be really numb in the head. He forgets about his rare Pokemon straight on his desk, and hires 10 year olds to go on a life threatening journey for research. ALL while standing at the same spot for 3 years.

    good gravy, he's dumber than Patrick.

  19. General_Asshat on November 3rd, 2010 7:05 pm

    I'm Ash Ketchum, and I am here to ask you a question?
    Is a man not entitled to the Pokemon he catches?
    No, says Professor Oak, it belongs to research!
    No, says the man in Rock Hideout, it belongs to us!
    No, says the squirtle in Kanto, it belongs to the wild!
    I rejected those ideas. I chose something new. I chose the impossible. I choose you, Pikachu!

  20. Dracojounin7 on November 3rd, 2010 7:05 pm

    *Black

  21. Illius_Nakarou on November 3rd, 2010 7:10 pm

    Bulbasaur:OH FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG

  22. RickO_ on November 3rd, 2010 7:15 pm

    no wonder he's alone, he's hideous! D:

  23. Spartan_Laser on November 3rd, 2010 7:46 pm

    What did Bulbasaur ever do to you???
    You people can be so mean!!!
    …You know what, I'm gonna choose Bulbasaur as a starter and then we'll see whose laughing!!!
    *chooses Bulbasaur*

  24. MasterLuigi452 on November 3rd, 2010 8:14 pm

    That's scary.
    But not as scary as Untooned Kirby…

  25. smartmonkey on November 3rd, 2010 8:18 pm

    Bitch be tripping balls.

  26. shadow649 on November 3rd, 2010 8:33 pm

    Little does the trainer know… They're all magikarps :P

  27. Barry Allen on November 3rd, 2010 8:47 pm

    Nope.avi

  28. Spartan_Laser on November 3rd, 2010 8:54 pm

    yes, he is just running towards Green….

    She's 10 Bulbasaur, you sick fuck!!!
    (this has been overused here, I know, sorry)

  29. dapaperboy on November 3rd, 2010 10:19 pm

    http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/089/9/d/Bu
    This is why we can't have nice things! (I know my caption sucks)

    Edit: I can't seem to 'post' the picture. I know it has something to do with the html <img> thing but I can't get it to work. Halp!

  30. DM1293 on November 4th, 2010 12:11 am

    I'm flattered that you would photoshop your face for this. :D

  31. DCMN on November 4th, 2010 6:20 pm

    I always thought Oak used it. :'(

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