graceful spartans

But, so many of your heroes wear tights! Like Batman! And… Magellan!
Screenshot by AShadowOfADoubt, submitted by Aeshir, captioned by me!

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on May 4, 2010 · 4:22 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (203 votes, average: 3.73 out of 5)
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Categories:
Bad Ideas, Bungie, Halo, Lords of the Dance, Microsoft, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (95 Comments)





 

95 Responses to “graceful spartans”

  1. Caelun_Niveus on May 4th, 2010 8:27 pm

    A Needler in one's kneecap must be painfull

  2. Hareoic on May 4th, 2010 8:28 pm

    And now I will do an interpretive dance describing the pain in my kneecap, set to the Blue Danube…
    *explosion*

  3. Colonel_Obvious on May 4th, 2010 4:34 pm

    This is why Spartans do not take ballet. You will be shot first.
    ~*~
    FIRST!!!!

  4. Link4all on May 4th, 2010 8:38 pm

    At least his performance was killer.

  5. Caelun_Niveus on May 4th, 2010 8:27 pm

    A Needler in one's kneecap must be painfull

  6. meinmattias on May 4th, 2010 8:27 pm

    One again another example that Halo 3 is fucking fabulous.

  7. Fhantinabox on May 4th, 2010 8:58 pm

    Boy, 300 sure sounds like a comedy if the Spartans were dancers…

    SPARTANS! What is your profession?!

    WE DANCE! WE DANCE! WE DANCE *cue in dancescene*

  8. SEGA_Uranus on May 4th, 2010 9:00 pm

    "It's not pink, it's lightish red!"

  9. SEGA_Uranus on May 4th, 2010 9:00 pm

    "It's not pink, it's lightish red!"

  10. MasqueNoMercy on May 4th, 2010 9:10 pm

    simpsons reference?
    from the good old days?!

    aww that just made my day today :D

  11. dapaperboy on May 4th, 2010 9:13 pm

    Spartan Newfag: Whoa, I love the new sticky light-BOOM!

  12. IndianCHAN on May 4th, 2010 10:33 pm

    Especially when they have needler rounds in their legs.

  13. Alpar on May 4th, 2010 11:57 pm

    Oh, a Needler in my kneecap. Can't be that ba-

    BOOM.

  14. Alpar on May 4th, 2010 11:57 pm

    Oh, a Needler in my kneecap. Can't be that ba-

    BOOM.

  15. AuraMaster on May 4th, 2010 11:59 pm

    This is why the movie is called "Men in Tights," not "Men in Armor."

  16. Nicholas Copernicus on May 5th, 2010 1:42 am

    Poor Spartan just wants to be with you, and make believe with you…
    harmony harmony~

  17. FoxyMayo on May 5th, 2010 7:09 am

    Here is a man, enlisted into the combat forces against his own will. He did not believe in fighting, for he was but a dancer, seeking approval from those near him. His unit was called upon to defend a base against a well-known and well-feared Covenant military force. He figured that this may be the chance where he could avoid pointless slaughter and bewilder a large crowd with his graceful moves. He donned his pink armor and wore his lucky flower charm, and was sent on his way, along with the rest of his fellow soldiers.

    The base was bustling with soldiers, arming themselves and planning against the oncoming threat. The Pink Spartan looked down upon them from their dropship, he smiled from behind his visor and thought to himself Today, I'll be the hero. After they landed, the base's Lieutenant approached the Spartan unit and quickly briefed them of their current defense strategy: hold out for more reinforcements. But for how long? The army was getting closer and there were possibly thousands of them. The Pink Spartan approached the Lieutenant and said "Don't worry, I think we'll hold out."

    "That's… what I like to hear, Spartan," he said in a disgusted tone, eying the Spartan from head to toe and then he just walked away.

    Two hours passed, and the Covenant force was just beyond the hills, waiting. What were they waiting for? They could've just stormed the base and taken it with their numbers. They knew what was about to happen. They were all going to die. Everyone had a disdainful look on their face, but beneath the Pink Spartan's visor, he was smiling brightly, knowing that today he would be the hero. Today he would save everyone. Today he would get the approval he was looking for. The Lieutenant walked over to his soldiers with a sorrowful look on his face, "The Covenant just sent us a message, boys… 'We have four-thousand soldiers. Surrender your base or be destroyed.' So… what's it gonna be, do you want to retreat while you still have lives?" A silence broke over the crowd of soldiers, they looked at each other with a fear in their eyes. Four-thousand? Surely staying here would be suicide! But the Pink Spartan did not go silent. He immediately stood proud and straight, and said in a confident voice, "I will stay and fight, I have confidence that we will win this day, and we will go home unscarred!"

    The Lieutenant, knowing though that the odds were heavily stacked against them, upon hearing his moving speech, smiled. He smiled and looked upon the rest of the unit, "So, you boys wanna run away or are you going to stand and fight?" Each of soldiers, motivated by the Pink Spartan's short speech, stood up and said "I will fight," until all the soldiers were standing. And then they applauded him. The Spartan, looked around with surprise. Maybe this was the true approval he was seeking? The applause was quickly interrupted by the sounds of turrets being fired. The soldiers looked just over the hills to notice blue streaks arcing across the sky, right towards their position. Each soldier quickly made a run for cover, while the Pink Spartan dropped his gun and ran towards the source of the shots. The shots hit the ground behind the Spartan with a deafening boom, sending soldiers and debris flying in every direction. He turned to observe the carnage the blast had created, staring in utter shock for a moment before turning to be met with an oncoming wave of Covenant infantry. He shook in fear for a moment, and then he remembered what he was here to do. He quickly took a stance, he held the tips of his fingers together above his head and stood on the tips of his toes. The remaining soldiers and the Covenant looked upon him with confusion. The Pink Spartan quickly took a bow, spun around and hummed a faint melody…

    And he danced. He danced, with thousands of soldiers as his audience and a field of battle as his stage, and he bewildered them. He danced until his audience saw that there needed to be an early closure on his performance. He danced until he exploded into a fine array of crimson giblets.

    The entire unit of soldiers quickly fell to the Covenant's numbers.

  18. GullibleGregory on May 5th, 2010 7:16 am

    Whenever i see stuff like this i hear target="_blank"> rel="nofollow"> … in my head

  19. GullibleGregory on May 5th, 2010 7:16 am

    Whenever i see stuff like this i hear target="_blank"> rel="nofollow"> … in my head

  20. GullibleGregory on May 5th, 2010 7:16 am

    Whenever i see stuff like this i hear target="_blank"> rel="nofollow"> … in my head

  21. GullibleGregory on May 5th, 2010 7:16 am

    Whenever i see stuff like this i hear target="_blank"> rel="nofollow"> … in my head

  22. GullibleGregory on May 5th, 2010 7:16 am

    Whenever i see stuff like this i hear target="_blank"> rel="nofollow"> … in my head

  23. FoxyMayo on May 5th, 2010 7:09 am

    Here is a man, enlisted into the combat forces against his own will. He did not believe in fighting, for he was but a dancer, seeking approval from those near him. His unit was called upon to defend a base against a well-known and well-feared Covenant military force. He figured that this may be the chance where he could avoid pointless slaughter and bewilder a large crowd with his graceful moves. He donned his pink armor and wore his lucky flower charm, and was sent on his way, along with the rest of his fellow soldiers.

    The base was bustling with soldiers, arming themselves and planning against the oncoming threat. The Pink Spartan looked down upon them from their dropship, he smiled from behind his visor and thought to himself Today, I'll be the hero. After they landed, the base's Lieutenant approached the Spartan unit and quickly briefed them of their current defense strategy: hold out for more reinforcements. But for how long? The army was getting closer and there were possibly thousands of them. The Pink Spartan approached the Lieutenant and said "Don't worry, I think we'll hold out."

    "That's… what I like to hear, Spartan," he said in a disgusted tone, eying the Spartan from head to toe and then he just walked away.

    Two hours passed, and the Covenant force was just beyond the hills, waiting. What were they waiting for? They could've just stormed the base and taken it with their numbers. They knew what was about to happen. They were all going to die. Everyone had a disdainful look on their face, but beneath the Pink Spartan's visor, he was smiling brightly, knowing that today he would be the hero. Today he would save everyone. Today he would get the approval he was looking for. The Lieutenant walked over to his soldiers with a sorrowful look on his face, "The Covenant just sent us a message, boys… 'We have four-thousand soldiers. Surrender your base or be destroyed.' So… what's it gonna be, do you want to retreat while you still have lives?" A silence broke over the crowd of soldiers, they looked at each other with a fear in their eyes. Four-thousand? Surely staying here would be suicide! But the Pink Spartan did not go silent. He immediately stood proud and straight, and said in a confident voice, "I will stay and fight, I have confidence that we will win this day, and we will go home unscarred!"

    The Lieutenant, knowing though that the odds were heavily stacked against them, upon hearing his moving speech, smiled. He smiled and looked upon the rest of the unit, "So, you boys wanna run away or are you going to stand and fight?" Each of soldiers, motivated by the Pink Spartan's short speech, stood up and said "I will fight," until all the soldiers were standing. And then they applauded him. The Spartan, looked around with surprise. Maybe this was the true approval he was seeking? The applause was quickly interrupted by the sounds of turrets being fired. The soldiers looked just over the hills to notice blue streaks arcing across the sky, right towards their position. Each soldier quickly made a run for cover, while the Pink Spartan dropped his gun and ran towards the source of the shots. The shots hit the ground behind the Spartan with a deafening boom, sending soldiers and debris flying in every direction. He turned to observe the carnage the blast had created, staring in utter shock for a moment before turning to be met with an oncoming wave of Covenant infantry. He shook in fear for a moment, and then he remembered what he was here to do. He quickly took a stance, he held the tips of his fingers together above his head and stood on the tips of his toes. The remaining soldiers and the Covenant looked upon him with confusion. The Pink Spartan quickly took a bow, spun around and hummed a faint melody…

    And he danced. He danced, with thousands of soldiers as his audience and a field of battle as his stage, and he bewildered them. He danced until his audience saw that there needed to be an early closure on his performance. He danced until he exploded into a fine array of crimson giblets.

    The entire unit of soldiers quickly fell to the Covenant's numbers.

  24. DrSexington on May 5th, 2010 8:27 am

    Never knew Spartans could dance in armour

  25. combatbeaver on May 5th, 2010 8:37 am

    apparently the spartan also forgot to take off some of the needles from his (or hers) acupuncture procedure!

  26. killercartoons on May 5th, 2010 10:01 am

    Nice pic, good to see some Halo Reach on here now.

    As for comments, I do not get what is going on here…

  27. killercartoons on May 5th, 2010 2:02 pm

    Ah, ok, the comments are back to normal now…

    Nice pic! Can't wait to play Halo Reach and get my graceful on!

  28. killercartoons on May 5th, 2010 2:02 pm

    Ah, ok, the comments are back to normal now…

    Nice pic! Can't wait to play Halo Reach and get my graceful on!

  29. Justin_G on May 5th, 2010 11:23 pm

    Battle? I thought you said Ballet!

  30. luigi 11792 on May 8th, 2010 9:59 am

    who cares if spartans are pink?

  31. luigi 11792 on May 8th, 2010 12:51 pm

    why is that pink needle is on that spartan?

  32. AManWithACloak on May 23rd, 2011 10:11 pm

    Evade looks pretty awesome when you do it with plasma grenades attached to you.

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