Friday, June 06, 2025


ENGIE AND THE GOLDEN WRENCH

Does that mean Valve employees are like Oompa Loompas? Because I can picture that.
Also why aren’t you crafting on our server? Everyone knows it increases your golden wrench crafting luck by ten fold!
By Isradevil, submitted by Cecil H.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 6, 2010 · 2:32 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (192 votes, average: 3.49 out of 5)
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Categories:
Cover Art, Disguises, Movies, PC, Playstation, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Xbox 360

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I never thought this game could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I've got a golden wrench
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

I never had a chance to kill
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly I am the king of the hill
What an amazing thing

'Cause I've got a golden wrench!

It's ours, Engie!

I've got a golden chance to kill that spy

I never thought I'd see the day
when I would use some gold to slay
Good Riddance!, now look at this gun!
I never thought that I would see
a heavy gunned down just by me
'Cause I'd have said:

It couldn't be done

But it can be done (with this new gun)

I never dreamed that I would climb
to the top of the charts so easily
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be

'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden chance to win today
And with a golden wrench, it's a golden day

Good riddance! , look at this gun!

'Cause I'd have said,
It couldn't be done

But it can be done

I never dreamed that I would climb
to the top of the charts so easily
But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
Shortly about to be

'Cause I've got a golden wrench

'Cause I've got a golden wrench!
I've got a golden chance to win today
And with a golden wrench, it's a golden day
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4 replies · active 777 weeks ago
*Gabe Newell takes away all of an idler's items*
Gabe: "YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!"
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4 replies · active 778 weeks ago
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3 replies · active 777 weeks ago
Everything in this room is craftable, even I'm craftable! But that is called cloning my dear engies, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
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Wouldn't Gabe make a better Oompa Loompa?

*delays Half-Life another week*
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1 reply · active 778 weeks ago
Oompa Loompa Doopadey Doo
I've got some trophy items for you.
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7 replies · active 778 weeks ago
The Gabe Newell chocolate bar is made out of 98% fat.
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2 replies · active 778 weeks ago
The hunt is on for the five golden wrenches hidden on random servers at a random time of day. The five people who are lucky enough to find one of these wrenches will gain entry to an all-access tour of Valve, and one of them will be given the grand prize: a lifetime's supply of refined metal.
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1 reply · active 778 weeks ago
DAMMIT!

METAL AGAIN!

well at least their copies..

wait...where's my extra ringer?

Photobucket
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2 replies · active 778 weeks ago
Sol-dier, sol-dier, doopedy doo. I've got a crit-rocket aimed right at you. Sol-dier, Sol-dier, doopedy dee. You can try to hide, but you can't escape me.
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I bet the Oompa Loompas are probably premature Boomers.
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5 replies · active 778 weeks ago
is TF2 fucking up for anyone else? it's not letting me play
i get to the menu and it just freezes
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Greetings to you the lucky finder of this Golden Wrench, from Mr. Gabe Newell!! Present this wrench at the factory gates at 10 o'clock on the morning of the first day of October and do not be late! You may bring with you one offering for Mr. Newell's unquestioning appetite.
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Gabe: Do you know what are our games made of?
Engi: Humans
Gabe: Well not rea...damnit, you ruined the whole movie
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And engie wished that everything he touched would turn to gold.

Little would he know his sentry would pay the price.
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Call Gabe fat and he won't take you to his Half-Life factory.
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come with me...and youll be in a world of pure erectin we'll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation!
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Will the heavy turn into a giant ham ball when he eats the 3 course sandvich?

OH NO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
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Aw man, one more to find until they preview another new thing, I don't give a shit if I get it anymore, SOMEONE HURRY AND GET IT!!!
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1 reply · active 778 weeks ago
Gabe: Welcome to my Golden Wrench Factory, Classes

Scout: Damn, man, you're fat

Gabe: ...Oompa Loompa, put another week on the counter
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THIS THING IS A CURSE!!!

I gave away most of my items to try to get this thing! all I have left is my Force a Nature, my Ambassador, my Gunboats, my Sandvich, my Scotsman Skullcutter, my Gibus, my Mercenary, 2 Refined Metal and a Primary Slot Token! It'll take me MONTHS to get all my stuff back!

Some are even more desperate, I saw a guy on /v/ who crafted all his hats to try and get it, his last 2 were the Heavy Duty Rag and Hustlers Hallmark and he got the Hatless Scout, poor guy.
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2 replies · active 778 weeks ago
Wait, all the people are red except the spy...but is the spy actually the red spy disguised as a blue spy or a blue spy trying to trick the red team into thinking he's the red spy by disguising himself as the blue spy?
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2 replies · active 778 weeks ago
Heavy's face...
it's taunting me.
Also, it looks like the engi is about to say something about it, doesn't he?

(And there's a hidden button on the engi page.)
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5 replies · active 778 weeks ago
wut is this i dont even -_-'
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This video by Kitty0706 expresses my feelings toward Gabe Newell right now @ 0:47
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFZG_njkAys
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