Does that mean Valve employees are like Oompa Loompas? Because I can picture that.
Also why aren’t you crafting on our server? Everyone knows it increases your golden wrench crafting luck by ten fold!
By Isradevil, submitted by Cecil H.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 6, 2010 · 2:32 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (192 votes, average: 3.49 out of 5)
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Cover Art, Disguises, Movies, PC, Playstation, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software, Xbox 360

· Leave a comment (55 Comments)



  1. Lordshadow on July 6th, 2010 6:35 pm

    Oompa Loompa Doopadey Doo
    I've got some trophy items for you.

  2. tryrestart on July 6th, 2010 2:48 pm

    Heavy's face…
    it's taunting me.
    Also, it looks like the engi is about to say something about it, doesn't he?

    (And there's a hidden button on the engi page.)

  3. Darkangelsv1 on July 6th, 2010 7:02 pm

    Call Gabe fat and he won't take you to his Half-Life factory.

  4. truegentleman on July 6th, 2010 7:05 pm

    Wait, all the people are red except the spy…but is the spy actually the red spy disguised as a blue spy or a blue spy trying to trick the red team into thinking he's the red spy by disguising himself as the blue spy?

  5. Roflcopter419 on July 6th, 2010 7:14 pm

    Wouldn't Gabe make a better Oompa Loompa?

    *delays Half-Life another week*

  6. Chaos in a can on July 6th, 2010 7:26 pm


    I gave away most of my items to try to get this thing! all I have left is my Force a Nature, my Ambassador, my Gunboats, my Sandvich, my Scotsman Skullcutter, my Gibus, my Mercenary, 2 Refined Metal and a Primary Slot Token! It'll take me MONTHS to get all my stuff back!

    Some are even more desperate, I saw a guy on /v/ who crafted all his hats to try and get it, his last 2 were the Heavy Duty Rag and Hustlers Hallmark and he got the Hatless Scout, poor guy.

  7. Chaos in a can on July 6th, 2010 7:29 pm

    This video by Kitty0706 expresses my feelings toward Gabe Newell right now @ 0:47

  8. DocFriend on July 6th, 2010 7:34 pm

    And engie wished that everything he touched would turn to gold.

    Little would he know his sentry would pay the price.

  9. LeoTheProdigy on July 6th, 2010 7:34 pm

    *Gabe Newell takes away all of an idler's items*

  10. AuraMaster on July 6th, 2010 7:56 pm

    The hunt is on for the five golden wrenches hidden on random servers at a random time of day. The five people who are lucky enough to find one of these wrenches will gain entry to an all-access tour of Valve, and one of them will be given the grand prize: a lifetime's supply of refined metal.

  11. Badonk on July 6th, 2010 8:05 pm

    I never thought this game could be
    Anything but catastrophe
    But suddenly I begin to see
    A bit of good luck for me

    'Cause I've got a golden wrench
    I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

    I never had a chance to kill
    Never a happy song to sing
    But suddenly I am the king of the hill
    What an amazing thing

    'Cause I've got a golden wrench!

    It's ours, Engie!

    I've got a golden chance to kill that spy

    I never thought I'd see the day
    when I would use some gold to slay
    Good Riddance!, now look at this gun!
    I never thought that I would see
    a heavy gunned down just by me
    'Cause I'd have said:

    It couldn't be done

    But it can be done (with this new gun)

    I never dreamed that I would climb
    to the top of the charts so easily
    But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
    Shortly about to be

    'Cause I've got a golden ticket
    I've got a golden chance to win today
    And with a golden wrench, it's a golden day

    Good riddance! , look at this gun!

    'Cause I'd have said,
    It couldn't be done

    But it can be done

    I never dreamed that I would climb
    to the top of the charts so easily
    But nevertheless, it's there that I'm
    Shortly about to be

    'Cause I've got a golden wrench

    'Cause I've got a golden wrench!
    I've got a golden chance to win today
    And with a golden wrench, it's a golden day

  12. tveye on July 6th, 2010 8:08 pm

    Greetings to you the lucky finder of this Golden Wrench, from Mr. Gabe Newell!! Present this wrench at the factory gates at 10 o'clock on the morning of the first day of October and do not be late! You may bring with you one offering for Mr. Newell's unquestioning appetite.

  13. Link4all on July 6th, 2010 8:15 pm

    Everything in this room is craftable, even I'm craftable! But that is called cloning my dear engies, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

  14. EggOnMaxx on July 6th, 2010 10:23 pm

    Well played good sir, very well played. +1 for you.

  15. Inky Blue on July 6th, 2010 6:32 pm

    Gabe: Welcome to my Golden Wrench Factory, Classes

    Scout: Damn, man, you're fat

    Gabe: …Oompa Loompa, put another week on the counter

  16. Chaos in a can on July 6th, 2010 10:44 pm

    Aw man, one more to find until they preview another new thing, I don't give a shit if I get it anymore, SOMEONE HURRY AND GET IT!!!

  17. BlueChameleon on July 7th, 2010 1:24 am
  18. M4DD4WG on July 7th, 2010 1:56 am

    Will the heavy turn into a giant ham ball when he eats the 3 course sandvich?


  19. masterninja15 on July 7th, 2010 3:05 am

    come with me…and youll be in a world of pure erectin we'll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation!

  20. Ageless_Evil on July 7th, 2010 7:30 am

    wut is this i dont even -_-'

  21. SS4FireFox on July 7th, 2010 9:45 am

    is TF2 fucking up for anyone else? it's not letting me play
    i get to the menu and it just freezes

  22. Alpar on July 7th, 2010 4:52 pm

    I bet the Oompa Loompas are probably premature Boomers.

  23. spaghettiweegee on July 7th, 2010 5:09 pm

    Sol-dier, sol-dier, doopedy doo. I've got a crit-rocket aimed right at you. Sol-dier, Sol-dier, doopedy dee. You can try to hide, but you can't escape me.

  24. JakeBondRoo on July 8th, 2010 12:49 am

    I had this happen with my direct hit, so +1 to you sir.

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