Being one of the three starter Pokemon seems awesome, unless you’re the one that isn’t picked. Then you’re FOREVER ALONE…
By Bob McPhee
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on November 3, 2010 · 2:12 PM
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Categories: Advice Meme, Depressing, Nintendo, Pokémon · Leave a comment (141 Comments) |
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141 Responses to “YOU CHOOSE CHARMANDER, MY GRANDSON CHOOSES SQUIRTLE”
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Did you know the site has over 4,000 video game themed lolz?
He's still saur about it even to this day.
Why can't we do that, anyway? He can't even tell if you're a boy or a girl…Surely he wouldn't notice. It's not like you're riding a bike indoors!
Yep, Bulbasaur never gets picked. Big deal, he's stuck in a comfy Pokeball.
Meanwhile, if you choose Gym Leader as a profession, you're forever stranded with an unlimited supply of badges, forever handing them out to ten year olds better than you, and will probably make something out of themselves.
Then Pokémon Yellow comes along, and oh surprise, there's just only one pokéball in the desk. And it has Eevee.
What happened to that Bulbasaur pokéball, doc Oak? What happened? Did it went ot a faraway happy place? Did it become part of your experiments?
Only time will tell.
inb4Femaletrainerandtentacles
And this is why I like to pretend it's the Pokemon Special canon where the third one was taken by Green.
A rolling Pokéball gathers no moss. Except if it's grass type.
Or maybe it's replaced with an empty pokeball, and Bulbasaur is forced to work for Oak forever!
Wow, this has provoked intense philosophical thoughts for me.
What happens to the starter you don't choose?
I mean of course the Pokeball stays on the table or in the sack or wherever you got it from.
But what happens to the POKEMON?
This obviously depends on what happens to a Pokemon when it is encapsulated in its Pokeball. If it remains in a modified state then it is likely still conscious, maybe even relaxing in its round abode. But what if it's not? What if the Pokeball mechanism converts the Pokemon's entity in terms of raw energy? Then for all intents and purposes… The starter you don't choose is dead. It will never return to its physical form, and be among its colleagues and rivals. Knowing this makes it extremely difficult for me to choose any of the three starters; not because I want one over the other, but because I fear the fate of the unwanted Pokemon.
It's like encasing Han Solo in carbonite: Yes he is visibly still there, but really IS he? He doesn't know where he is. He doesn't know what's going on around him. He can't do anything about what's being done to him. We can still plainly see him on Jabba's palace wall, but his existence is questionable. We only know he is still alive when Princess Leia frees him. But as for Bulbasaur, there IS NO PRINCESS LEIA.
I'm also quite reminded of Schrodinger's Cat, for some reason. When you pick your starter, you are told what Pokemon is in each Pokeball, and then you make your pick. The one you pick is the cat that you free from the box to find it still alive! But there is still one cat left. No one will open his box. When you beat the Elite Four and go back to Oak's lab to get your National Pokedex or whatever plot ticket it might be, you see that the BOX IS STILL UNOPENED. At this point, you can't be sure if the cat in it is alive or dead! Except instead of a cat, it's a Bulbasaur! You could have been Bulbasaur's liberating angel but noooo, you wanted the fire lizard instead. Does Bulbasaur resent you for that? Can it even still have its own thoughts? That is a terrifying thought for me.
Well, at least Professor Oak has some company when he's burning the midnight oil at the PokeLab. Alone. With a Bulbasaur. And its throbbing bud. And seeds. And tentacles. Vine whip…..
Actually, through a glitch, you can fight Oak. One of his pokemon is the final form of whatever didn't get picked.
"First off…are you a boy or girl?"
"Boy."
"…here have a dragon."
"And you?"
"…Its me gramps. Your grandson?"
"Oh…here have the one that has dual cannons jutting out of its shell and is the complete weakness of the one I just gave the other trainer."
"…." *Pokes bulbasaur pokeball* "One day we'll get a female trainer for you."
Dosen't Oak keep the last one and raise it? Or Green/Blue gets it? Or something?
Well I guess Bulbasaur will be
*sunglasses*
Green with envy
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
I was wondering more about that one guy who had been "secretly training his whole life [there]"
Not only did I see him at the Burned Tower, but his name is plastered on the gym sign. He was less secret than the village next door that even the map says has ninjas in it.
Does he just suffer from short term memory loss (especially apparent when he wiped me out and then reintroduced himself to me, that or he was doing it to piss me off)? Or do they all just have stand ins that take over while they nap behind the stone pillars, invisible to those of us who see via a camera suspended from an angle above us?
I found it in SoulSilver. He gave it to an NPC.
Why? Because he's an Oak. A motherfucking Oak (who came as fast as he could).
Now someone needs to make a full 4-pane!
TO THE BEEMOBILE!
And now I have come to the realization -- oak must be really numb in the head. He forgets about his rare Pokemon straight on his desk, and hires 10 year olds to go on a life threatening journey for research. ALL while standing at the same spot for 3 years.
good gravy, he's dumber than Patrick.
I'm Ash Ketchum, and I am here to ask you a question?
Is a man not entitled to the Pokemon he catches?
No, says Professor Oak, it belongs to research!
No, says the man in Rock Hideout, it belongs to us!
No, says the squirtle in Kanto, it belongs to the wild!
I rejected those ideas. I chose something new. I chose the impossible. I choose you, Pikachu!
*Black
He certainly wouldn't stop you going into the tall grass seeing as you have a pokemon.
Bulbasaur:OH FOREVER YOUNG, I WANNA BE FOREVER YOUNG
no wonder he's alone, he's hideous! D:
me too I want pokabu and wotter at the same time
What did Bulbasaur ever do to you???
You people can be so mean!!!
…You know what, I'm gonna choose Bulbasaur as a starter and then we'll see whose laughing!!!
*chooses Bulbasaur*
That's scary.
But not as scary as Untooned Kirby…
Bitch be tripping balls.
Little does the trainer know… They're all magikarps :P
Nope.avi
yes, he is just running towards Green….
She's 10 Bulbasaur, you sick fuck!!!
(this has been overused here, I know, sorry)
http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/089/9/d/Bu…
This is why we can't have nice things! (I know my caption sucks)
Edit: I can't seem to 'post' the picture. I know it has something to do with the html <img> thing but I can't get it to work. Halp!
I'm flattered that you would photoshop your face for this. :D
I always thought Oak used it. :'(