DEFEAT OPPONENT'S POKEMON, AUTOMATICALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'LL USE NEXT

DON'T GO INTO THE TALL GRASS IT COULD BE DANGEROUS! INSTEAD WHY NOT TAKE DOWN AN ENTIRE CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION?

WE CONNECT OUR CITIES WITH DANGEROUS CAVES

Welcome to the world of Pokemon! You can go ahead and check logic at the door.
By Daniel W. and Aziz B.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 15, 2011 · 10:13 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (288 votes, average: 4.72 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Bad Ideas, Irony, Nintendo, Pokémon, Psychic Powers, TV Shows

· Leave a comment (78 Comments)





 

78 Responses to “Advice Oak Three Pack”

  1. Abum12345 on December 15th, 2011 10:19 pm

    I think its "Don't go into the tall grass WITHOUT pokemon" Heck, you can do anything with them, including taking down a criminal organization.

  2. SirNumel on December 15th, 2011 10:19 pm

    Who said Darwin had nothing to do with the world of Pokemon? The whole thing is all about survival of the fittest!

  3. TehVortex on December 15th, 2011 10:32 pm

    Dangerous? Maybe to someone with a morbid fear of zubat.

  4. TheInsaneWombat on December 15th, 2011 10:33 pm

    *beep beep beep beep beep*

    Sir, are you carrying any semblance of sanity on your person?

    I'm sorry, you'll have to leave it at the gate before we can allow you to fly to Kanto.

  5. ChemicalKirby on December 15th, 2011 10:36 pm

    "Welcome to the world of Pokemon! You can go ahead and check logic at the door." ~ Best way to describe Pokemon ever.

  6. Chimental on December 15th, 2011 10:38 pm

    I think I've figured it all out.

    Professor Oak is actually a mad scientist. He goes into a almost empty secluded town. 8 people, who's gonna spread the word? Soon, he performs his dark experiments.

    He turned a handful into assistants, their eyes blank, living only to serve.

    One was a failed experiment, his body growing to Snorlax-esque proportions. He'll be taken care of later.

    One hasn't been touched yet, just a wee lad who just says there are wild pokemon in grass. Naive fool.

    Then came his most prized creation. One who has control over pokemon itself. He would force the evolutions of his captured creatures, without the need of leveling or trading, and raising their power exponentially in a short amount of time. He was the perfect weapon. He even created a 'mother' to keep up the illusion.

    But then, tragedy struck. His creation stole one of his 3 test subjects and bolted. He would have an unstoppable army in days unless he did something. And he did. Fight fire with fire.

    And that's where you come in. An almagamation of DNA. Ditto to change your visage to male or female. Alakazam to read the opponent's mind. Arcanine to sprint long distances without getting tired. As you begin to form from the void, he calmly speaks, explaining what pokemon are and allowing you to set your own gender and name. Then an image of his last experiment appears in front of you.

    "Who's that? Why that's my grandson. And he's been your rival since you were babies…"

  7. Jade Catima on December 15th, 2011 10:38 pm

    Kick logic to the curb and do the impossible!

  8. Wetmang on December 15th, 2011 10:45 pm

    Eat some candy
    *Oak Face*
    Go through puberty

  9. AuraMaster on December 15th, 2011 11:21 pm

    ENLIST A REGION-WIDE POLICE FORCE
    *Oak face*
    HAVE A 10-YEAR-OLD DO ALL THE WORK

  10. VyseRogueKing on December 15th, 2011 11:34 pm

    Pah! Who needs logic when I can ride a 1 foot tall pidgey or wingless doduo high into the sky? Or maybe make a rodent charged full of electricity surf along the ocean.

  11. MeatyMcSausage on December 15th, 2011 11:57 pm

    I can tell you have a love for pokemon.
    Because of how brutally yours fight

  12. MasterLuigi452 on December 16th, 2011 12:00 am

    Not this again…

  13. Skrist on December 16th, 2011 12:17 am

    Pokemon: A fun way for trainers and pokemon alike to know and battle other trainers for fun.
    Win the battle: Take the other persons poke.
    Lotsa fun in stealing!

  14. CriticalQuit on December 16th, 2011 12:31 am

    The Pokemon world is a different world from ours. What we think is weird there is completely normal there.

    Imagine how they'd think of our world.

    WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL THE CITIES AREN'T WALKING DISTANCE AND ABOUT THE SIZE OF A TINY VILLAGE?!

  15. KZN02 on December 16th, 2011 1:09 am

    Actually for the first one, you can choose not to know your opponent's next Pokemon in the options.

  16. AManWithACloak on December 16th, 2011 2:44 am

    Advice meme?
    I counter with…
    HIPSTER MEME!
    <img src="http://trolledbot.net/pix/3729.png"&gt;

  17. JboneDRS on December 16th, 2011 3:22 am

    So this is considered crazy in a world where the most common solution to a problem is super powered cock fights?

  18. CriticalQuit on December 16th, 2011 10:18 am

    I think this is the first Homestuck reference on Halolz. Seriously.

    Awesome.

  19. Kn0w1d3a on December 16th, 2011 1:11 pm

    DON'T RIDE YOUR BICYCLE INDOORS! But flying on a pidgey is okay

  20. AManWithACloak on December 17th, 2011 2:47 am

    HOLY FUCK THE NEXT SUBMISSION WAS ARROW TO THE KNEE.
    ITS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES MAN.

  21. PortalMan118 on December 17th, 2011 1:42 pm

    of course we connect our cities with dangerous caves.

    Because were we are, we don't need roads.

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