Minecraft Logic

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my knuckles are invincible and can eventually punch through almost anything.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 9, 2012 · 2:10 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (190 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5)
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Fists of Fury, Highly Illogical Captain, Minecraft, PC

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109 Responses to “Minecraft Logic”

  1. Ultamia on April 9th, 2012 2:15 am

    You see, Saxton Hale once gave him an epic fist bump. And from this day forward, he can punch through anything, anytime.

  2. tveye on April 9th, 2012 2:23 am

    I see no hand, just a stump worn in from punching too many trees.

  3. ibbolia on April 9th, 2012 2:25 am
  4. Armetron on April 9th, 2012 2:45 am

    I say good chap I can provide a very complicated and scientific explanation, however allow me to try and simplify it to the best of my ability. As you can see his hand does not compose of any fingers, which means that his hand is perfectly straight, meaning that the point that the force is applied has to travel the entire length of his arm instead of though the tiny shafts that consist of our fingers. This explains how he is able to eventually break any block over time (excluding Bedrock), the reason his hand never runs out is because since he is a living organism he has the ability to quickly heal his damaged hand with his hunger bar, thus "technically" never running out. Now before you say the obvious like "Um dude nobody's hand can heal as fast as you are mining, so how is that possible?" Well the answer to that is simple my friend, he is technically not a human being, well at least not a human by our standards, even though the skeleton has many similarity his body is rectangular. Also he comes from a dimension that may have different laws of physics. so truth be told what I said may not be correct at all. You know what this means? ITS TIME TO INVESTIGATE, but that will have to wait for another time. So I hope this has help you my friends, or completely confused you out of your mind. What ever the case I hope you enjoy your indestructible hands

    Also since I did not post a picture in this comment (which I try to do in every comment) I think I can post something somewhat relevant, probably not relevant at all. OH WELL

    <img src="http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/halolz-dot-com-minecraft-captainfalcon-skin-falconpunch.jpg"&gt;

  5. NotB0b on April 9th, 2012 2:48 am

    Obviously, you are Wolverine….

  6. UndeadLex on April 9th, 2012 2:49 am

    Obviously his punch nubs are made from wurtzite boron nitride which can sharpen itself during cutting and is harder than diamond.

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/RR32Q.jpg"&gt;

  7. Paulrus-Keaton? on April 9th, 2012 2:51 am


  8. Korotini_Notlad on April 9th, 2012 3:32 am

    His are the fists that will punch through the heavens!

  9. TheDerpKnight on April 9th, 2012 4:04 am

    This hand of mine glows with an awesome power! It's loud roar tells me to defeat you! Take this! My love! My anger! And all of my sorrow! Erupting… burning… FINGER!

  10. TheTaurenRogue on April 9th, 2012 4:58 am

    I'd go into details of the last time I donkey punched someone in minecraft…

    But lets just say, sex with a decapitated corpse…

    Still counts.

  11. Bobomberman on April 9th, 2012 6:10 am

    Oddly though, he usually only uses his hands to handle his wood.

  12. Redzeroine on April 9th, 2012 6:34 am

    My theory is that he had to eat his own hands. I mean, we don't know what happened to the guy BEFORE the game loads. Perhaps he was stranded there for days, we don't know. Little man does what he knows best, survive in the harsh world.

  13. Hatley96 on April 9th, 2012 6:47 am

    It's obvious. He's Cody Travers;Wall Puncher.

  14. Arkalidor on April 9th, 2012 8:41 am

    well, unlike any other thing in Minecraft, Steve is made of living tissue, so his hands regenerate. Granted, they regenerate extremely fast and are very resisting to harm.

  15. Umbreon 0 on April 9th, 2012 8:58 am

    This guy may be constantly getting bitten by giant spiders, eaten by zombies, and blown up by creepers, but one thing is for sure; his hands WILL remain.

  16. Alpar on April 9th, 2012 9:13 am


  17. EliminatorZigma on April 9th, 2012 10:36 am

    I figured it out:
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/QoakO.jpg"&gt;

  18. zKentauros on April 9th, 2012 11:04 am

    Well, isn't it obvious? His fists are made of Steve!

  19. G02 on April 9th, 2012 11:08 am

    What, no-one made a God Hand joke yet?

  20. Sceptilianblade on April 9th, 2012 12:22 pm

    I think I'll let Mr. Bean handle this one. If you would, Mr. Bean?
    <img src="http://gifninja.com/animatedgifs/264171/mr-bean-magic.gif&quot; img>
    Thank you, Mr. Bean.

  21. HughbertEsq on April 9th, 2012 12:52 pm

    That shit breaks through anything!

  22. xxxxxxtheundeadcat on April 9th, 2012 2:59 pm

    anger. your fists are made out of anger.

  23. Deep Thought on April 9th, 2012 3:11 pm

    Truly, he must be a muscle wizard.
    <img src="http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/16296920/images/1316074833593.jpg&quot; height=" 600'="" width="400">

  24. BTSnoogans on April 9th, 2012 3:48 pm

    Hands are unbreakable. Bedrock is unbreakable. Therefore, hands are made of bedrock. Or is bedrock made from hands?

  25. TheAceOfSkulls on April 9th, 2012 4:45 pm

    I thought the answer would be obvious given the hints dropped in the first release that we… Notch "fixed." After all, Steve could go without food, could create condense matter into smaller block shapes, breath for prolonged periods of time underwater, and in certain modes regenerated health at an alarming rate.

    Obviously he's a genet… He fights for his friends. That's the power of friendship, not questionably unethical science given to an indie dev for the sake of building a game off it because a couple of us got drunk one night and went "Why the hell not?"

    After all, the idea of building a world in a computer for a subject to explore, the idea of digitizing a life form and subsequently creating intelligent artificial constructs for the sake of impeding process, genetically modified lifeforms, and a mixture of chemicals needed to keep the developer awake through the process would require at least 4 or so different fields working together, which is just silly.

  26. TomQuoVadis on April 9th, 2012 5:41 pm

    The answer is quite simple: Do you know how annoying Minecraft would be if your fist had durability?

    What was that scream? Oh…I've killed the joke, it seems.

  27. HawnShandyside on April 12th, 2012 11:49 pm

    It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit.
    On a completely unrelated note, skip this if you aren't interested in minecraft videos made by teenage idiots. A friend of mine, a long-time member of halolz, and I, have began a series of minecraft videos by the name of "SSST", which stands for "Super Saiyan Swagger Tower", as we are both fans of the DBZ Abridged series by Team Fourstar. He loosely portrays Vegeta, while I try to emulate Nappa. His youtube username is "Steelhaloman", and I'm not going to post a direct link to discourage trolls from doing their thing. He also does videos of Pokemon and such. If you're interested, feel free to check it out
    Thank you for your time

  28. fanaticmetroid on May 12th, 2012 6:35 pm

    he uses stupidanium.

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