If only more guards followed this advice, they could have had far longer adventuring careers!
By Adriano Alves [via Rampaged Reality]

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 29, 2011 · 3:17 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (307 votes, average: 3.05 out of 5)
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Bethesda, Political, The Elder Scrolls, Tips & Tricks, Weak Points

· Leave a comment (67 Comments)



  1. Wetmang on December 29th, 2011 3:20 pm

    Skyrim, inventor of the knee bling

  2. MonocleMan22 on December 29th, 2011 3:29 pm

    Dammit! I'm once again foiled by the fact I haven't played Skyrim. Now I can make no witty comment. Well atleast I'm not making an arrow to the knee joke.

  3. Omnomynous on December 29th, 2011 3:30 pm

    But then he got they got an arrow in the other knee….

  4. Shishu1025 on December 29th, 2011 3:32 pm

    this joke stopped being funny a while ago.

  5. Chimental on December 29th, 2011 3:45 pm

    Wait wait wait. REMOVE the arrow?!

    This changes everything!

  6. Mindlessinvalid on December 29th, 2011 4:12 pm

    Ok, what kind of arrow is it?

    If it's a target arrow, get a bit to bite down on and have someone else pull it out with a vice or pliers/smithing tongs.

    If it's a broadhead, cut the fletchings and push it through (do not do this if it's near any major arteries or organs)

    If it's a barbed arrow grab a knife and remove the bit of flesh it's in.

    If it's a frog crotch arrow, then remove the damned limb.

    If it's any of the above and poisoned then don't bother, you'll be dead shortly anyways.

    "Remove the arrow from your knee" is the most useless medical advice ever. Removing a long sharp object from your extremities is painful (removing a sharp object lodged in you is infinitely more traumatic than having it put there), and now it's not keeping most of your blood in you.

    I can speak from personal experience on this, which is why I can't bring myself to find it funny.

  7. SolidScientist on December 29th, 2011 4:28 pm

    Hah! By the Nine, it's so obvious now! I can't believe I never thought of that before! Man, this is a real knee-slapp--AUGH FUCK!!

  8. TheInsaneWombat on December 29th, 2011 5:38 pm

    Unfortunately the guards of Skyrim can't read.

    Also some of them get nervous when I start shouting Lydia across town.

  9. TheInsaneWombat on December 29th, 2011 5:47 pm
  10. C__F on December 29th, 2011 5:47 pm

    I just thought of something: If an arrow to the knee is a crippling enough wound to make you give up an adventuring career, then why in all of Skyrim did they choose to take up the career of a guard?

    Aren't guards expected to do things like patrol and give chase to criminals? 'Cause those seem like the kind of things you'd want healthy legs for.

  11. Immortal_Mook on December 29th, 2011 5:50 pm

    *Dons -1 glasses*
    Here we go….

    Will it help their adventuring? I think not. As the saying goes:
    "Time heals all wounds"
    "But arrow-related knee injuries cripple you for life "

  12. NotB0b on December 29th, 2011 6:53 pm

    I got Skyrim a couple days ago. I've heard this line from the guards around 20 times. On the Internet though, 200…

  13. HughbertEsq on December 29th, 2011 7:27 pm

    But…. it was a Rambo arrow, so far I've only managed to find little charred pieces of my left leg….

  14. John_Know_Doe on December 29th, 2011 7:36 pm

    crap, it's stuck. I need help. MEDIC.

  15. AManWithACloak on December 29th, 2011 8:00 pm

    Keep Calm and Drink a fucking healing potion.
    That shit is everywhere.
    Healing here, healing there,

  16. Fluffy_Quack3r on December 29th, 2011 8:37 pm

    Overused arrow + knee meme, but still its
    <img src="; alt="Photobucket" border="0">

  17. Passerby Boy on December 29th, 2011 8:37 pm

    wait…. I took an arrow to the knee too?

    THAT explains the horrible pain and the infection in my knee….

  18. PortalMan118 on December 29th, 2011 9:47 pm


    why is the "political" tag there?

  19. dope92 on December 29th, 2011 10:47 pm


    i thought when the arrow's in your knee, its over

    you can just take it out and keep going?

  20. Dycro on December 30th, 2011 1:19 am

    That's great and all but what about this guy?
    <img src=""&gt;

    I wish he hadn't said it when he was completely in shadow :(

  21. sonicsmash2 on December 30th, 2011 5:20 am

    This sign should be all over skyrim by now……

  22. Dycro on December 30th, 2011 5:55 am

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