I dunno what he’s talking about… I thought 2007 was a very good year! I mean for weapon based lunch items!
By Paulrus

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on September 1, 2011 · 4:28 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (204 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)
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PC, Secret Items, Tasty Treats, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (116 Comments)



  1. Tobikun on September 1st, 2011 4:38 pm

    I don't know what bothers me more. The description of the vintage items. Or the fact that Shawn called Jarate a "Lunch Item."

  2. VyseRogueKing on September 1st, 2011 4:39 pm

    That sandvich has saved my life many times and you're basically telling me to throw it out? Screw that! Just scrape off the mold and I'm good.

  3. PyroCatheter on September 1st, 2011 4:41 pm

    And now every TF2 player here thinks back to see if they've ever traded something for a stranger's jar of piss.

  4. MasterLuigi452 on September 1st, 2011 4:44 pm

    Vintage Jarate…
    Either it can be yellow, or red…

  5. shadow649 on September 1st, 2011 4:44 pm

    I told my friend he should stop using his vintage sandvich. He never listened… Poor Steve. :(

    Don't worry about the Bonk! atomic punch. Soda lasts as long as… A game of monopoly. (Approximately 42 years.) The no-contact version of course.

  6. Darkangelsv1 on September 1st, 2011 4:44 pm

    Oh Paulrus. Is there anything you can't make disturbing?

  7. MasqueNoMercy on September 1st, 2011 4:47 pm

    … does anyone else read the description for the jar and think "man how long does it take piss to turn solid?"

  8. Ice_Cold_Water on September 1st, 2011 4:52 pm

    Walrus_Wheaton? would enjoy this post.
    <img src=>

  9. TheAl41 on September 1st, 2011 4:58 pm
  10. Zyquux on September 1st, 2011 5:14 pm


    BONK! Atomic Punch is actually Nuka-Cola. THE WORLD NOW MAKES SENSE.

  11. Artakha on September 1st, 2011 5:31 pm

    I always thought that "Vintage" meant it gets laced with gold and encrusted diamonds. That's how I take my Bonk energy drink.

    And now for something COMPLETELY different:
    <img src="; border="0" gentlemen Pictures, Images and Photos"/>

  12. Paulrus-Keaton? on September 1st, 2011 5:47 pm

    I was thinking about making a follow-up, but I couldn't think of any good jokes for the other vintage items.

  13. ClashDemonhead on September 1st, 2011 5:49 pm

    I like my vintage steak all the extra toppings gives heavy more fuel for killing tiny baby men

  14. WeegeeDoll on September 1st, 2011 6:03 pm

    ……annnnnnd now I have an overwhelming urge to description tag my vintage items, thanks Shawn!

  15. TheInsaneWombat on September 1st, 2011 6:11 pm

    Well, duh! This is obviously in the same universe as….

    Wait…. Shit. Which one is that game where you can eat chicken from a garbage can for a full heal?

  16. Drjolt on September 1st, 2011 6:13 pm

    I use the vintage huntsman. It's so coo-*snap* Hey, free scrap metal.

  17. AManWithACloak on September 1st, 2011 7:29 pm

    That sandvich is so retro, it has 8-bit tomatoes.

  18. Psycroc on September 1st, 2011 7:41 pm

    My friend has a Vintage Vintage Tyrolean.

    Vintage within Vintage? Hmmmmm

  19. Roflcopter419 on September 1st, 2011 8:47 pm

    I always thought carrying around "Vintage" food was a bad idea…

  20. Vabolo on September 1st, 2011 11:23 pm

    I wonder which is worse…Server-Clearing Jarate, or Gore-Spattered Jarate?

  21. TheQueenofSouls(DT) on September 1st, 2011 11:48 pm
  22. ProfessorLuigi on September 2nd, 2011 3:09 am

    Paulrus needs to do a description of the Vintage Vintage Tyroleon.

  23. Ryven on September 2nd, 2011 4:01 am

    I saw this on dA before it came here :D
    I knew it would show up here :3c

  24. KZN02 on September 3rd, 2011 1:32 pm

    So Vintage Mad Milk would mean it is cheese?

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