Door Question

Well played Gaben, well played.
Found by Jane L.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on April 15, 2011 · 3:01 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (628 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5)
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Bad Ideas, Incoming Transmission, Internets, Portal, Sneak Attack, Tips & Tricks, Valve Software

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115 Responses to “Door Question”

  1. Gamage on April 15th, 2011 3:05 pm

    That's fine, paper masks can fool valves turrets.

  2. xstationcubed on April 15th, 2011 3:12 pm

    or just hold a big cube in front of yourself and crouch. Then you can just crawl up and knock it over.

  3. Jimmy on April 15th, 2011 3:12 pm

    *Uses mirror, confuses turret, steals all copies of Portal 2, sells them on eBay.*

  4. Sid_Diddly on April 15th, 2011 3:19 pm

    Well then that explains this video. rel="nofollow">

  5. tmotom on April 15th, 2011 3:19 pm

    It's okay Brandon, all you have to do is knock it over and you're fine!

  6. Alpar on April 15th, 2011 3:23 pm

    Pfft, what idiot would just grab Portal 2? Grab the HEV suit and crowbar, and you're the world's most untouchable man in an instant.

  7. oreopizza47 on April 15th, 2011 3:28 pm

    Hey, while you're in there, see if you can find the glass shell they're keeping HL2:Ep3 in, and then look for the release switch.

  8. Paulrus-Keaton? on April 15th, 2011 3:33 pm

    <img src="; alt="Pulpit rock" height="258" width="262">
    Gabe Newell: Welcome to Valve HQ. Hopefully you have already been able to enjoy our vacant reception area, the scale-size TF2 sentry, and vending machines in your quest to find an unreleased version of [game name here]. You're probably feeling a bit sure of yourself that you have managed to make it this far without anyone calling law officials or feeling the wrath of the after hours janitorial crew. But since we feel that all people should be able to enjoy our titles, whether or not they acquire them legally, feel free to make your way to [Valve department here] to find your copy, but remember that we are not making this easy.

    As you were listening to this, we have sealed all the entrances to the premises, including any you've made, and our security system is now releasing a deadly neurotoxin that will flood all the levels of our HQ. If there are any employees that are caught in its wake, they will die eventually though they have since made a living will and signed a statement knowing that we are not responsible. Additionally, we have set up plenty of turrets and other military-grade defenses that should hinder your progress, giving you more time to enjoy the neurotoxin as it fills your lungs and induces blood-filled vomiting.

    As you struggle to find [game title here], please also take the time to enjoy the many commentary nodes that we have peppered throughout the premises. These nodes will tell you about the development of [game title here] as well as answer other popular questions like the release date of Half-Life 2: Episode Three, the true gender of the Pyro, our possible involvement with several political assassinations, and my favorite drink.

    To listen to a commentary node, put your crosshair over the floating commentary symbol and press your use key. To stop a commentary node, put your crosshair over the rotating node and press the use key again. Some commentary nodes may take control of the game in order to show something to you. In these cases, simply press your use key again to stop the commentary.

    If you live, which is highly unlikely, please let me know what you think after you have had a chance to play. I can be reached at, and my favorite pony is Pinkie Pie. Not like you'd live to tell anyone about that. Thanks, and have fun!

  9. VaultLegend on April 15th, 2011 3:34 pm

    Sap it, back-stab the 70 year old security guard and you're good to go.

  10. VigilanteSpider on April 15th, 2011 3:35 pm

    Brandon: *Breaks in through side entrance* Looks like the coast is clear…
    Turret: There you are!
    Brandon: O_o
    Turret: Dispensing product.
    Brandon: Oh God no!
    Turret: *opens to reveal copy of Portal 2*
    Brandon: Oh… thank you.

  11. invadingduck on April 15th, 2011 3:43 pm

    Brandon goes through door.

    Gabe's Sentry——-->Brandon.

    Gabe: Make'n Bacon!

    Gabe eats bacon.

  12. Deep Thought on April 15th, 2011 4:01 pm

    I had completely forgotten that they had an actual turret in their lobby… but does this one fire the whole bullet?

  13. LordMurdalot on April 15th, 2011 4:08 pm

    huh i was gonna go to the one with the companion cube outside thanks for the pointer gabe

    *sneaks in*

    wait a bleeding moment DID HE SAY TURRET!!!

    "there you are"………………

  14. seanhl on April 15th, 2011 4:09 pm

    but at least when the turret runs out of bullets it makes a lovely greater "hello, are you there"

  15. smartmonkey on April 15th, 2011 4:34 pm
  16. C__F on April 15th, 2011 5:42 pm

    Been a long time since you commented, eh? Therefore, your +1s are long overdue. Please proceed to the nearest Halolz member to receive your due +1s.

  17. CriticalQuit on April 16th, 2011 12:39 am

    He didn't specify which kind of turret it is.

    So it'll probably be a Combine Turret, an Aperture Turret, AND a Level 3 Sentry Gun.

    Hey, it's a good suggestion. The other two doors lead to an Antlion Guard room, and a room full of his favorite class, the Spy.

  18. DrSexington on April 16th, 2011 1:51 am

    I wonder if that'd work…..

  19. Solid_Snivy on April 16th, 2011 2:52 am

    *Hops into a cardboard box, packaged self to Valve HQ*
    Heheh, foolproof plan…

  20. AgileZero on April 16th, 2011 8:27 am

    Oh, ok I understand. Well at least call him Lessis or Sessil or Selsis or Lisses or Issles or some anagramatical (is there such a word?) name other than the one-that-shall-not-be-named.

    Hey how about this account name? SSSiel.

    Eh? Eh?

  21. razorman715 on April 16th, 2011 3:04 pm

    *Puts Gaben mask on*

    Turret: There you are! Deploying!

    Spy: Ah no, its just me, Gabe Newell

    Turret:I don't hate you! Goodnight

    *Spy slowly sneaks past*

  22. Deep Thought on April 17th, 2011 12:20 pm

    Wait… no submissions for a couple of days.

    What happened to Shawn?
    *Cutaway to Shawn in the Valve Enrichment Center testing Gaben's new feeding troughs*
    Shawn: No more! No more! I can't eat another bite!
    Gaben: So you aren't going to break into Valve again?

  23. Leo E. on April 17th, 2011 2:28 pm

    With this still up as the top picture, I feel the need to mention that this man has the same first name, last initial, and Valve obsession as a friend of mine. But I know it's not my friend due to the coherent spelling and grammar.

  24. Citrovc4 on April 18th, 2011 2:36 am

    And then after the burgler is cought Gabe goes back to his pool

    <img src=""&gt;

  25. dope92 on April 18th, 2011 11:53 am

    now that some turrets are in use

    we need the gun..

    robots? do it!

  26. Uzumakiclan43 on April 18th, 2011 6:32 pm
  27. coolsnape on April 22nd, 2011 9:48 am


  28. deathbychickens on May 3rd, 2011 11:32 pm

    challenge accepted

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