Goron Freeman

He’s got a crowbar to fight off headcrabs… and if it looks like he’s not going to win he can always curl up into a ball and roll away!
By gafagear, submitted by Mauricio

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 30, 2010 · 2:41 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (292 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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Artistic, Cray-Z Crossovers, Disguises, Half-Life, Nintendo, Rockin' Out, The Legend of Zelda, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (81 Comments)


81 Responses to “Goron Freeman”

  1. Rockman X on July 30th, 2010 6:44 pm

    Looks like this Freeman…

  2. GameboyPATH on July 30th, 2010 6:53 pm

    I would love to play Saria's song for the sake of seeing him dance. :D

  3. spaghettiweegee on July 30th, 2010 6:57 pm

    Re-Deads are the Headcrabs of the Zelda universe.

  4. Weibbles on July 30th, 2010 7:02 pm

    So, does this make Alex a Zora and Barney a Kokiri?

  5. Lordshadow on July 30th, 2010 7:09 pm

    This is somewhat disturbing, but I feel that I am jaded to such things after being mindraped by the the Odd Scouts earlier today.

  6. Darkangelsv1 on July 30th, 2010 7:35 pm

    Goron Vs. Groudon! Who will win?

  7. Gamage on July 30th, 2010 7:41 pm

    He has rock hard nipples.

  8. ArmyOfMidgets on July 30th, 2010 7:47 pm

    Crowbar, it's even better than a Big Goron Sword.

  9. tveye on July 30th, 2010 8:15 pm

    Dammit, as if Ravenholm didn't have enough problems. Now we've got Re-Dead's to worry about.

  10. Alpar on July 30th, 2010 8:52 pm

    Sorry Link. The fans demand a new mute hero.

  11. Dimomarg on July 30th, 2010 9:51 pm

    more mindraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape.

  12. AuraMaster on July 30th, 2010 9:56 pm

    Looks like Mr. Freeman…

    …Knows how to rock and roll.


  13. Missinko009 on July 30th, 2010 6:00 pm

    Now that's racist!!!

    Gorun Freeman!!! Terrible!!! (JK LOL)

    *Misspelling intentional

  14. BurnoutSpartan on July 30th, 2010 10:04 pm

    I was playing Half Life Source the other day and came up with this realization:
    This Gordon Freemen would be trapped in Black Mesa forever.

    …although if he could it would make the hanging crates level a lot more interesting…

  15. aimless_void on July 30th, 2010 10:30 pm

    He got his PHD in Culinary Geology!

  16. FoxyMayo on July 30th, 2010 10:33 pm

    Sooo…. does that mean he have a Ph. D. in Hazardous Materials AND geology??

  17. CapnRegi on July 31st, 2010 12:04 am

    Hope to God Tingle isn't Alyx.

  18. JboneDRS on July 31st, 2010 12:15 am

    I don't think that suit will be flexible to curl up into a ball and roll at 20 miles an hour

  19. smashpro1 on July 31st, 2010 1:08 am

    Shut up and inject this man with some science!

  20. Tifakitteh on July 31st, 2010 3:29 am

    Dojohngo Freeman who was Goron Freemans brother was one day an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that armos and moblins were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

    Dojohngo Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his spinner and normal people close because he was in his office tunic. Dojohngo Freeman got on his spinner and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

    Dojohngo Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept spinning down the road and made sure there was no redeads around because he ddint have weapon.

    The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for Dojohngo Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. Dojohngo Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

    Dojohngo Freeman was late so he had to spin really fast. A cop boar was hiden near by so when Dojohngo Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here Dojohngo Freeman saw the first moblin because the cop was posessed and had floormasters.

    "I cant give you my lisense officer" Dojohngo Freeman said

    "Why not?" said the floormaster oficer back to Dojohngo Freeman.

    "Because you are floormaster redead" so Dojohngo Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

    Dojohngo Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Goron needed him where he was. Dojohngo Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Zantholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so Dojohngo Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Goron so he went faster again.

    Dojohngo Freeman spun in and did another flip n jumped off his spinner and the spinner took out some floormaster redeads infront of Dojohngo Freeman. Dojohngo Freeman smiled and walked fast. Dojohngo Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up threw bomb and blew smoke at redead poes in front of a house.

    Dojohngo Freeman said "Redead poes leave this place" and the redead poes said "but this is our house" and Dojohngo Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were redead poes so he blew up the house and killed the redead poes so they were at piece.

    Then Dojohngo Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Zantholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from floormasters.

    When Dojohngo Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Goren Freeman fightin the final bosss and Goron said "Dojohngo Freeman! Over here!" so Dojohngo Freeman went there to where Goron Freeman was fighting. Dojohngo Freeman blew his smoke from teh bomb really fast and the smoke went and smoked the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

    Goron Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. Dojohngo Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Goron Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

    The laughed overed quickly though because Dojohngo Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Goron Freeman looked up and said "NOO! Dojohngo Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and Dojohngo Freeman walked real fast out.

    Dojohngo Freeman loked back and saw Goron get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

    "I'll get you back evil boss!" Dojohngo Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

    to be continued..?

  21. vatonnage on July 31st, 2010 7:06 am

    …Y'know, THAT would explain why everything just explodes when you hit them with a crowbar!

  22. Barry Allen on July 31st, 2010 7:28 am

    Crowbar + Rock Hard Skin= RESULTS!

  23. Navy_Pheonix on July 31st, 2010 8:52 am

    When these two things combine, the only thing that can stop Goron Freeman is an equally BA, equally mute main character with iron boots and a death wish.

  24. died70 on July 31st, 2010 9:16 am

    now if only i could teach him rollout…
    dear god he would be indestructible!

  25. combatbeaver on July 31st, 2010 1:38 pm

    Nope *elongates neck*

  26. Gafagears on July 31st, 2010 11:55 am

    I really appreciate you giving me credit and uploading this elsewhere as a flattering remark, BUT i would REALLLLLY appreciate you asking me for permission before using my artwork on another site

  27. codemaster525 on July 31st, 2010 5:16 pm

    "He’s got a crowbar to fight off headcrabs… and if it looks like he’s not going to win he can always curl up into a ball and roll away!"

    Isn't that Samus? Just minus the crowbar?

  28. ThatOneDude on August 2nd, 2010 5:54 am

    How epic would a Big Goron Crowbar be?
    The answer: So epic.

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