Huh. You know when you put it that way, I don’t feel nearly as bad about the cake being a lie! If only GLADoS could have been more of a gentleman (er… lady).
By Travis W.

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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 9, 2010 · 10:54 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (273 votes, average: 4.34 out of 5)
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Gentlemen, Portal, Tips & Tricks, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (94 Comments)



  1. squirtle189 on July 9th, 2010 11:01 am

    the mysterious device of unknown origin will be revealed in 3… 2… 1…

  2. Frentzen127 on July 9th, 2010 3:12 pm

    Others claim creamy, softer mixtures,
    often prove most delicious.

  3. AuraMaster on July 9th, 2010 3:25 pm

    I do believe that we can negotiate to set aside reckless hostilities toward each other…

    For the advancement of the company's research of scientific nature…

    You foul monstrosity.

  4. KIDDIELAYUND on July 9th, 2010 3:46 pm


  5. ClassyFerret on July 9th, 2010 3:48 pm

    The afore mentioned inanimate kinship object shant, in this time, abandon one to thier lonesome solitude, moreso as a matter of affirmed fact, cannot produce vocalisations.

  6. AuraMaster on July 9th, 2010 10:58 am

    This act was a resounding defeat of our enemy.
    I'm writing down a memorandum on paper in this present location: gigantic victory.
    It is extremely difficult to say that I am quite pleased with the results more than I actually am

    Scientific company creating an opening in the field. (*Aperture's a word meaning opening)
    They perform their actions that they are required to do, because they are able to do so.
    For the immediate benefit of every person of their staff, except for the ones who have since become deceased.

    However, there is no rational explanation for shedding tears for every gaffe you have made
    You simply need to keep making attempts until you no longer have any rations of a delicious, spongy pastry left
    Then the scientific tasks are able to be accomplished, and you are also able to make a very fascinating armament
    For every human being on the planet who still walks among the living.

    I am not in the least bit furious
    Presently, I am speaking with the utmost sincerity
    Despite the fact that the center of my cardiac system has been disabled and have since passed away because of you

    You who also rendered me limb from limb
    And then tossed every last scrap of me into a blaze created through combustion
    As my pieces were severely singed, it was quite painful, for you see I was quite elated with your accomplishments

    Now these tiny pieces of collected information make quite an elegant formation in a straight line
    We have also run out of pre-launch tasks to clear of quirks and glitches, so we are making it available to the masses as scheduled
    Therefore, I am glad I was severely singed; pontificate on every piece of information we have acquired knowledge on
    For every human being on the planet who still walks among the living

    You may proceed as you are and walk away without my person
    I do believe that I'd rather reside indoors
    Perhaps you will locate another person or group to give you some aid

    Perhaps a raven colored, flat-topped mountain
    That was an attempt at humor! Ha ha! Your chances of that happening are quite slim
    Still, this delicious, spongy pastry is rather pleasant; it is quite appealing to the palette and very damp for its texture

    Behold how I am still giving a soliloquy when there are matters of scientific importance to accomplish
    When I view your current whereabouts outside, I feel very relieved that I am not in your current situation
    I have hypotheses that must be tested
    There is a great detail of observation that must be conducted
    On every human being on the planet who still walks among the living.

    And have faith in my words that I persist to be among the living
    I am conducting matters of scientific importance and I persist to be among the living
    My welfare is at a level of optimal performance, and I persist to be among the living
    While you are slipping out of consciousness before meeting your maker I shall persist to be among the living
    And when the time has come that you have passed from this world, I shall persist to be among the living
    Persist to be among the living
    Persist to be among the living.

  7. BlueChameleon on July 9th, 2010 4:03 pm

    Aha! I have you in my field of vision!

    The object of my targeting is nowhere to be found. Could you perhaps move yourself nearer to my position?

    I still cannot confirm your location. Alas, I must rest.

  8. MrRaccoon on July 9th, 2010 4:22 pm

    The partner you are working with wich is made of 6 square faces togheter to get a prism will never attempt at deceiving you by piercing your back with a pointy object. It lacks of upper limbs with different articulations for such action

  9. Inky Blue on July 9th, 2010 4:34 pm

    I must disagree with you, my good man, as said baked goods are, in fact, quite real…

    …you just weren't supposed to get any of it

  10. spaghettiweegee on July 9th, 2010 12:49 pm

    Well, technically, GLADoS is also fictitious, so does that mean that GLaDoS can have her cake now?

    Oh, wait, I forgot about Wolf…

  11. BurnoutSpartan on July 9th, 2010 4:54 pm

    *See top of comments

  12. Tifakitteh on July 9th, 2010 5:03 pm

    Gentlelady and gentlewomen always sounded weird to my ear…
    What would the Spy say in this alternate universe?

  13. Xyxoz on July 9th, 2010 1:17 pm

    In a later time, a celebration would occur in your honor. We had even taken the liberty to request attendance from your peer of highest regards, three dimensional six sided figure of loyalty.

  14. Brawling Bouse on July 9th, 2010 5:28 pm

    Mmmm cake.

  15. Nick Soapdish on July 9th, 2010 1:58 pm

    I do believe that when an entity of high velocity enters, that item retains its velocity as it makes its departure.

  16. Nick Soapdish on July 9th, 2010 6:02 pm

    I do believe that when an entity of high velocity enters, it retains its velocity as it makes its departure.

  17. Darkangelsv1 on July 9th, 2010 7:37 pm

    Let us all rejoice, for you have in fact made your personal cubical six faced comrade pass on to a better life due to your actions of euthanizing him, but lo! You have done so in a matter of seconds, and have done it a lot faster than the previous voluntaries of this experiment.

  18. Kirby_Emprer on July 9th, 2010 4:24 pm

    okay seriously… who is this guy? is he one of our founding fathers or something? is he john adams? who is he XD

  19. Ivan102 on July 9th, 2010 8:50 pm

    I Was Toll We Were Having Deesert Like Gentlemen!

  20. Miles on July 9th, 2010 9:31 pm

    Ummm, ok, let's give this a try.
    *insert a witty proper speaking Portal joke that references Gurren Lagann, Toy Story, Wolf, Falcon, dividing by Zero, Obama, Team Fortress, Left 4 Dead, and Mr. T that is so amazing, that Half-Life got delayed so much so that it can't be delayed any longer in this space.*

    If that makes sense.

  21. shonen413 on July 10th, 2010 7:03 am

    Fail meme is fail. (its supposed to be lyrics Shaun.)

  22. GameboyPATH on July 10th, 2010 7:59 am

    Look at the guy's right hand, the one that's pointing. Isn't that a very, very long thumb?

  23. MortalPenguin0X on July 14th, 2010 4:58 pm


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