That’s beautiful… but don’t keep your hopes up Engie!
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on July 8, 2010 · 5:36 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (170 votes, average: 4.61 out of 5)
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Audio Clips, Heavy Weapons, Secret Items, Team Fortress 2, Valve Software

· Leave a comment (46 Comments)


46 Responses to “[AUDIO] If I Had A Golden Wrench”

  1. Mr. Castly™ on July 8th, 2010 9:46 am

    That was beautiful..
    [love the ending]

  2. SexyLegs on July 8th, 2010 9:48 am

    i'd like a golden wrench if you know what i mean ;)

  3. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 8th, 2010 6:04 am


    WAAAAAAAAHH AH HA HAAAAAAAAA………*goes in the next room*

  4. Paulrus-Keaton? on July 8th, 2010 6:09 am

    A few things.
    -Did some searching. The song is made by a guy name Plumpsy: credit must be properly given for this one. Period. No buts. http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread….
    -He should be given a Golden Wrench.
    -I want to make something out of this….. anything. Video, macro, dinnerware, anything.
    -Vote 5 everyone, or i'll rape you.

  5. SS4FireFox on July 8th, 2010 10:25 am

    what a sad song….but i have a better one.



  6. LinkyBS on July 8th, 2010 10:37 am

    I think my chances at this wrench are gone… I am totally out of items.

  7. Dimomarg on July 8th, 2010 11:17 am

    well. I wasted all my duplicates for that. What did I get? 1 Reclaimed metal and one refined metal.

  8. Dimomarg on July 8th, 2010 2:10 pm

    Er-HEM. My inner TF2 nerd could not be stopped from pointing out that golden wrenches are made of Australium.

  9. XxGiroxX on July 8th, 2010 2:47 pm

    This derservies to be in the top 5
    it was nice, funny, and overall Awsome

    also to the people who missed out on a golden wrench valve should put out a silver one that isnt as epic

  10. Badonk on July 8th, 2010 4:16 pm

    wow i got one upped lol *deletes older song post*

  11. Brawling Bouse on July 8th, 2010 4:47 pm

    I was so hoping for a "If I had a Golden Ticket" parody…
    However, this is equally fantastic and deserves a video to go along with it.

    Curst greed of gold, what crimes thy tyrant power has caused…

  12. MrRaccoon on July 8th, 2010 5:20 pm

    "You're dreams are the only thing that will never be sapped"

  13. Acias on July 8th, 2010 5:34 pm

    The wrench is a curse.

  14. GeneralManly on July 8th, 2010 7:00 pm

    *sigh* Only four wrenches remain, and this song bears the marks of heavy sadness equivalent to that of a FAMINE.

  15. GeneralManly on July 8th, 2010 4:03 pm

    One wrench is left to find, our players caught up in a bind.
    Once the final one is found, sadness and loss will surely abound.
    But then a light glows through the dark, like an Angel from Heaven, declaring, "Hark!"
    An update arises from the blog, and clears from our minds the golden fog (OK, Australium.)
    With new maps to play and new items to get, the players ease from their hissy-fit.
    So you see, happiness shall visit us soon, although it is already 3 hours past noon.

  16. Simply DA on July 8th, 2010 4:14 pm

    That is all.
    I also need a Golden Wrench, but. Tough luck since I don't have TF2 anymore and the fact that there's only 3 wrenches left.

  17. dope92 on July 8th, 2010 8:00 pm

    screw the wrench.


  18. shadow649 on July 9th, 2010 3:45 am

    The answer is… (drumroll) YES! FALCON PUNCH!

  19. shadow649 on July 9th, 2010 3:50 am

    Do i smell an new heavy medic submission? http://www.halolz.com/2009/07/30/heavy-medic-and-… how bout heavy medic and the final golden wrench?

  20. JakeBondRoo on July 12th, 2010 3:02 am

    Lyrics are here:

    I'm a simple engineer
    I build things with my hands
    I construct all kinds of things
    nobody understands.
    But if I had a wrench of gold,
    or Australium as I've been told,
    I'd knock my enemies out cold
    If I had a golden wrench.

    I don't want food to fill me up,
    or a gun that shoots real far.
    I've always been a simple man,
    content with my guitar.
    But now there's something that I need,
    I'd swing it round with lightning speed,
    I'd have the midas touch indeed!
    If I had a golden wrench.

    The medic got an ubersaw,
    the demo got a shield.
    The spy he got a fancy gun,
    but none of those I'd wield.
    The pyro got a brand new axe,
    the sniper got a bow.
    But I've been waiting patiently
    until my turn to go

    I know my chances aren't good,
    but I still hope and pray,
    that golden tool I long to hold,
    will come to me this day.
    And If it doesn't, well then oh well,
    just give me one; I'd never tell.
    And if I don't I'll scream and yell,
    "This ain't the last you've seen of Dell!"
    And those that get one can burn in hell!

    If I had a golden wrench.
    Dum diddy dum dum dum dum dum,
    diddy dum dum dum dum.

  21. JakeBondRoo on July 12th, 2010 3:06 am

    It's so beautiful. *sniff*

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