Halo Reach

SuperSparkplug has a pretty awesome dentist!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin

Posted by Shawn Handyside on December 15, 2012 · 2:40 AM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (217 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
Bungie, Halo, Microsoft, No Caption Needed

· Leave a comment (80 Comments)


80 Responses to “Halo Reach”

  1. Sceptilianblade on December 15th, 2012 2:53 am


  2. Fawful on December 15th, 2012 2:55 am
  3. UndeadLex on December 15th, 2012 3:00 am
  4. Treeman574 on December 15th, 2012 3:16 am

    Welcome to Reach, heart of the UNSC's dental power and home to the iconic Spartan super brushes. For decades, humanity has fled from the relentless Cavity threat, but now the largest Cavity ever witnessed looms in the darkened corners of the mouth. Noble Team, equipped with a deadly arsenal of high tech dental equipment and knowledge, must stand and face a full scale oral invasion with humanity's fate hanging desperately in the balance. If Reach falls, little will stand between the Cavity and the complete and total annihilation of the human jaw.

  5. DrSexington on December 15th, 2012 3:21 am

    A Halo joke on Halolz? Perposturous!

  6. Porecomesis on December 15th, 2012 3:24 am

    Word of advice, mate: don't get your images from funnyjunk. Unless, of course, you take them and reupload them to imgur or whatever.

  7. MasterLuigi452 on December 15th, 2012 3:25 am

    Really now…

  8. Porecomesis on December 15th, 2012 3:26 am

    *sigh* When's the next post?

    <img src="http://puu.sh/1nnLb&quot; width="400">

  9. MetroidJunkie on December 15th, 2012 3:28 am

    Halo puns, hmm?

    <img src="http://i47.tinypic.com/2cz97uo.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" height="400" width="440">

  10. Destroyer_1990 on December 15th, 2012 3:38 am

    "Oh cool, Halolz has a new post!"

  11. VyseRogueKing on December 15th, 2012 4:39 am

    I get it!

  12. Paulrus-Keaton? on December 15th, 2012 5:31 am

    Master Chief: Hey there, kiddo, boring old history textbooks getting you down? Wouldn't you rather be doing something wonderful and fun? Wouldn't you like to defeat an armada of evil invaders out to corrupt and destroy all that is pure, in a never ending conflict with the very nature

    No, I'm not talking about the Covenant armada from my Halo video game series, I'm talking about a real battle happening everyday… in your mouth; in your teeth!

    I'm talking about plaque! Yes! The nature Flood that coats your mouth in puts you at risk for a variety of gum diseases! You think being surrounded by Hunters is bad? Or an sentient mold thing that turns you into a zombie? Or having to deal with a ring that can wipe out all humanity in the galaxy? Well that's nothing compared to GUM DISEASE. Gum disease is a threat that we, as a species, must fight every day!

    Plaque build-up affects the species as a whole. It ruins lives. It destroys families. It sinks ships. No living creature on our great planet is safe from it. Heck, now living creature in the universe is! Have you ever seen a Eleite's mouth? It's a war crime, begging for a 12-gauge teeth cleaning, and don't even get me started on Gravemind. *spit*

    What's sad about this crisis is that there are those who don't want to fight. They don't think it's a big deal. They are the ones destroying hope for our race! An army marches on its teeth; an the fate of the universe depends on the marching of pearly whites! Teeth is needed to chew MREs! Pull out bullets from your armor without letting go of your weapon! Bite down on Grunts as a secondary attack! Fix Warthogs! Pilot drop ships! Talk! These are military strategies that can be easily brought down by neglecting important military dental procedures, like flossing!

    Maybe you're wondering, Master Chief, what is so fun about dental hygiene? Dental hygiene is boring! Why do you even care? All very good questions… that are likely to get you beat up by Master Chief. Master Chief may be 6 inches tall right now but he also has plasma grenades and once blew up an entire raggedy-ass Covenant fleet! Ooh-rah!

    Also, he has a smoking hot supermodel for an A.I. who is lounging in a variety of erotic poses as we speak. Don't know why, but I'm not complaining.

    But anyways, fighting plaque is both rewarding and fun! With good dental hygiene habits, like brushing after every meal and flossing, plaque can be destroyed easily and with no consequence since plaque is a soulless hive-mind of destruction. And since game violence is becoming more introspective these days, because "Spec Ops" is a party pooper, you'll be happy to completely obliterate plaque and commit war crimes in your mouth without the feeling of guilt that comes with thinking that you just destroyed a happy family with minty-fresh white phosphorous, spoiler alert.

    So get to it marine! Brush your teeth everyday! Twice a day! Clean the mouth anyway you can! There are plenty of options at your disposal! Electric toothbrushes, alcohol-free mouthwash, minty toothpicks… I even used a belt sander once.

    Yes, even belt-sanders. Extreme you say? Not an option worth taking? Well, son, in the face of gingivitis, EVERY option is preferred!

    So are you ready? Are you ready for…. HALO: TOTAL REACH?

    ARE YOU?!


  13. Ryu Bonkosi on December 15th, 2012 5:40 am

    We here at Halolz do not appreciate Halo related 'lulz'. Please submit content that is related to: Pokemon, Mario, Team Fortress 2, or other Valve titles. And remember, there is no such thing as a stupid post, until you post it.

  14. Solar Boy Django on December 15th, 2012 9:16 am

    <img src="http://shechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/bert_snaps.gif?w=341&h=321&quot; /img>
    Bert is the Halolz community, Ernie is Shawn. Oh shawn. You so crazy.

  15. Alpar on December 15th, 2012 9:58 am

    inb4 someone fills in the words for ODST to make them punny


  16. Leo E. on December 15th, 2012 10:08 am

    Double XP codes on my toothpaste when?

  17. HughbertEsq on December 15th, 2012 10:17 am

    I think that's enough internet for one day

  18. Vabolo on December 15th, 2012 10:50 am

    Oh man this reminds me of when I watched Arby and the Chief. Then my doctor told me I needed to conserve my brain cells, so I had to stop.

  19. Psycroc on December 15th, 2012 10:54 am
  20. Zoe on December 15th, 2012 11:58 am

    And here's Zoe with the porn!

    <img src="http://hawtymcbloggy.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/halo3_7982427_full-2.png&quot; alt="Smiley face" width="640" height="480">

  21. Dr. Enforcicle on December 15th, 2012 1:41 pm

    John-117 waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were aliens in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Sergen Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad “I want to be on the ships daddy.”
    Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY ALIENS”
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of planet Reach he knew there were aliens.
    “This is Joson” the radio crackered. “You must fight the aliens!”
    So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
    “HE GOING TO KILL US” said the aliens
    “I will shoot at him” said the brute and he fired the brute shots. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
    “No! I must kill the aliens” he shouted
    The radio said “No, John. You are the aliens”
    And then John was a flood.

  22. sims796 on December 15th, 2012 3:15 pm

    It's the little things like this that makes me smile. Or I would, had I used a Reach toothbrush.

  23. Cookino on December 15th, 2012 5:27 pm

    Oh, I get it. The joke is that Halo is holding a toothbrush named reach. Hehe, Halo sure is a funny guy.

  24. Soul Eater 676 on December 15th, 2012 11:59 pm

    since no posted it yet. I will start the trail of bad puns.

    <img src=http://data.whicdn.com/images/7236031/halolz-dot-com-gearsofwar-marcusfenix-woody-toysofwar-reachforthesky_large.jpg>

  25. Rexxmech on December 16th, 2012 1:56 am

    Eh, Halo is a pretty cool guy, fighting cavities and stuff.

  26. Queen 0f Blades (Sonya 00101) on December 16th, 2012 4:58 pm

    Chief may have Reach, but does he have flexibility?

    Ok I'm sorry that was a bad cross-series joke.

  27. supersparkplug on December 22nd, 2012 2:55 am

    Hi, my name is Jordan Sparks. I'm the original creator of this Halo Reach picture. I'm very glad that people are enjoying it and I'm surprised that it's gotten so popular, years after it was made.

    If you like this, check my stuff out. I actually make a webcomic called Spark Comics that I try to update weekly and other art stuff. I hope you enjoy it! :)

  28. WestJordanDentist on January 14th, 2013 11:04 pm

    LOL! I'm a dentist and my son is a Halo addict so this cracked me up like no other. Thanks for the share!!

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!