SCIENTIFICALLY CRAFTED POKEMON MEDICINE

As always, it’s usually not a great idea to apply logic to Pokemon.
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Posted by Shawn Handyside on October 16, 2012 · 10:08 PM 
FAILLAMENOT BADPRETTY GOODAWESOME (293 votes, average: 4.80 out of 5)
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Categories:
Advice Meme, Irony, Nintendo, Nintendo DS, Pokémon, Secret Items

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94 Responses to “SCIENTIFICALLY CRAFTED POKEMON MEDICINE”

  1. DeceptiveDRHOBO on October 16th, 2012 9:12 pm

    first? omg I just signed up too

  2. Newt on October 16th, 2012 10:13 pm

    Water: 200$
    Highly advanced technology capable of capturing wild animals and forcing them to fight: 200$.

    So, what'll it be? Thirsty, or bloodthirsty?

  3. Prof. Luigi on October 16th, 2012 10:14 pm

    And tell me this!
    Soda Pop, which is generally considered to be less healthy than water, heals 10 more HP than Fresh Water. Are the laws of being healthy in reverse in the pokemon world?

  4. vidiotdragon on October 16th, 2012 10:16 pm

    If you remember, the water is Fresh. Which must be darn difficult with all those pokemon swimming around, fighting, poison type tentacools, and stuff in it. So if you manage to get some I bet you'd feel a lot better than some yuck spray on bandage.

  5. Skrist on October 16th, 2012 10:22 pm

    Well potions are just sprays.
    As for the water…
    <img src="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18496109.jpg"&gt;

  6. Zortsport on October 16th, 2012 10:30 pm

    The more sugar in it, the healthier it is! Look at bonk, it makes the Scout freaking invincible.

  7. Guppy on October 16th, 2012 10:35 pm

    Simple: it was crafted in China.

  8. Prof. Luigi on October 16th, 2012 10:35 pm

    Actually I'm kind of hungry…

  9. Rexxmech on October 16th, 2012 10:43 pm

    Super Potion: 700 yen/pokedollars restores 50hp
    Lemonade: 350 yen/pokedollars restores 80 hp

    That's why lemonade is so expensive, they can easily compete with Silph Co. A Spray that burns when I apply hastily or a sweet drink my pokemon will enjoy that I force them to drink that works even better.

  10. Mindlessinvalid on October 16th, 2012 10:45 pm

    I know this is a really prevalent joke, but seriously, the money in pokemon is likely based on yen.

    In that case water is essentially $2.25

    Suddenly their economy doesn't seem quite as fucked. It's still really fucked, but not as much.

  11. VyseRogueKing on October 16th, 2012 10:50 pm

    What's even more mind-boggling is that you can use fresh water to heal sea creatures.

  12. Redzeroine on October 16th, 2012 10:57 pm

    You think that's the only quirk? How does a water bottle heal a fire-type pokemon? There's a mind bender.

  13. Umbreon 0 on October 16th, 2012 11:20 pm

    Well how about a nice Slowpoke tail?* Only $9800!** Or would you prefer a delicious Castelia Cone?***

    *It's tofu! Really!

    **While supplies last.

    ***It's totally NOT made out of Vanillite! Honest!

  14. Armetron on October 16th, 2012 11:26 pm

    Whats that?

    <img src="http://maxicontainer.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/boxed+water.jpg"&gt;

    boxed water gives you +51 hp?
    WOW what advances in technology science has given us

  15. Restam111 on October 16th, 2012 11:26 pm

    so that would mean moo moo milk is super sweet?

  16. Zyquux on October 16th, 2012 11:32 pm

    Well presumably, they still need to drink.

  17. Zyquux on October 16th, 2012 11:33 pm

    Pokemon is clearly a commentary on how modern science is detrimental to our health and we need to go back to natural remedies.

  18. Ryu Bonkosi on October 16th, 2012 11:34 pm

    [/Thread]

  19. Restam111 on October 16th, 2012 11:36 pm

    but that would mean that highly advanced technology made by aperture science is also $2.25?

  20. ZealockTheGreat on October 16th, 2012 11:45 pm

    Okay here's something

    Hold on to your ass this might be a ride.

    Pokeballs are a device capable of converting solid matter into a state of pure energy and then return it to normal with no side effects. Further more there are other devices that can alter the contents of a Pokeball (such as healing a pokemon) by manipulating the contained energy of the matter inside.
    This technology is beyond that of almost any future based story that I know of shouldn't instantaneous teleportation be in use for free in the Pokeworld? Yet the most complicated (and expensive ) forms of travel are trains boats, and bikes.
    Officer Jenny and the Nurse (who's name escapes me at this moment) all look alike and yet no one seems to notice or care.
    There is no standard system of Government keeping the rich from oppressing the poor, but there is this obviously advanced technology.
    I propose that the world of Pokemon may very well be a Test facility for the Silph Corporation on a far away planet. THEY make robots or clones of all official personal and THEY make the key components for Pokeballs.
    Just my observation the who knows maybe the Pokeworld is just a game or something.

  21. Chimental on October 17th, 2012 12:02 am

    And there are geometric star-like objects that bring pokemon back from the dead. Your point?

  22. TomQuoVadis on October 17th, 2012 12:14 am

    <img src=http://i1220.photobucket.com/albums/dd460/TomQuoVadis/JonTronSrsly.gif>

  23. Nick Soapdish on October 17th, 2012 12:39 am
  24. Kamina 676 on October 17th, 2012 12:50 am

    Lets take a moment right now and look the water bottle closely:
    <img src=http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/27541_129446237067860_87_n.jpg>

    Huh, it was just Micheal Jordan's secret stuff.

  25. Souleater676 on October 17th, 2012 12:53 am

    Simply: Everything is made by China. These people are from Japan.

  26. Yoshi_Dino on October 17th, 2012 12:57 am

    It's because less salt in the bottle water then in the sea….the majestic sea..such a cruel mistress she is.

  27. Marzen on October 17th, 2012 12:58 am

    But how could water possibly be betteR? Just look at that bottle!

    *huggles bottle* So ergonomic…

  28. Paulrus-Keaton? on October 17th, 2012 1:04 am

    Maybe the water is imported from a land where the lakes, seas, rivers, and reservoirs are not filled with the blood of innocent magical creatures.

    Or maybe it costs a lot to bottle the tears of 10 year old trainers after their dreams have been shattered by rivals, gym leaders, criminal organizations, and the local mute; not in that order.

  29. Paulrus-Keaton? on October 17th, 2012 1:08 am

    Don't forget about Nuka-Cola and its regenerative healing properties. Though that may just be the radiation.

  30. KZN02 on October 17th, 2012 1:22 am

    It is Fresh Water.

  31. KZN02 on October 17th, 2012 1:26 am

    My only gripe is that you can only buy one item at a time at the vending machine.

  32. artiksilver on October 17th, 2012 1:59 am

    Except that most sea creatures need the salt in the water to survive and would die in any other water.

  33. artiksilver on October 17th, 2012 2:02 am

    You mean candy?

  34. Cloak on October 17th, 2012 2:37 am

    Well, Saxton Hale can sell weapons and hats for less than 20 dollars each, so this doesn't seem quite so absurd.

  35. Cloak on October 17th, 2012 2:38 am

    LET ME TELL YOU
    ABOUT LEMONADE

  36. Cloak on October 17th, 2012 2:40 am

    Proof that Spray Medicines are a scam.

  37. cyberguy64 on October 17th, 2012 3:07 am

    I love that you misspelled Michael even though it's right there in the picture.

  38. PaladinVance on October 17th, 2012 3:36 am

    Wait, does that mean there's a Mind Nation now?

  39. Cloak on October 17th, 2012 3:58 am

    Combustion Man.

  40. Comire on October 17th, 2012 5:23 am

    What I never understood is how Pokemon can use berries in battle because they're not man-made tools. …yet Fresh Water…

  41. Comire on October 17th, 2012 5:27 am

    I hope the latter one isn't referring to a certain Mr. G. Oak. Or else I think this lovely little community may turn rowdy.

  42. Comire on October 17th, 2012 5:33 am
  43. Comire on October 17th, 2012 5:33 am
  44. Comire on October 17th, 2012 5:33 am
  45. sims796 on October 17th, 2012 7:52 am

    To be fair, $2.25 is a bit much to pay for a bottle of water.

  46. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:46 am

    And this confuses you why…?

  47. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:49 am

    This is why I said that their economy was still fucked, just not as fucked.

    But seriously, are you saying that you'd rather be paying 200$ for a bottle of luke warm water out of a vending machine on the roof of a shady department store?

  48. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:51 am

    We already established that it's yen and not dollars.

    Pokemon DOES take place in Japan… some weird alternate reality Japan where you can bike across the kanto region in an hour…

    It's $124.50 for a slowpoke tail, which kinda falls in line with the whole "illegal delicacy" thing.

  49. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:53 am

    Don't bend me bro.

  50. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:56 am

    Yes… my subjects drink coffee non-stop and we're comprised of Sarcasm Benders.

    We subjugated the fire nation prior to the events of Avatar the Last Air Bender because our powers don't work on the terminally stupid Earth Nation.

    We caused that conflict for the Lulz.

  51. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 8:57 am

    Revives…

    Exactly what is says on the tin.

  52. Pseudonym_ on October 17th, 2012 10:09 am

    That's a spray? I could of sworn it was an overflowing beaker…
    Shit, I know I said that I would use a picture in all my comments, but I can't find a good Pokemon Mind=Blown.
    So I'll just leave this here.
    <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3k2m3pMzY1rtb6kvo1_500.png"&gt;

  53. Hejiru on October 17th, 2012 10:09 am

    They can't open the bottle.

  54. Biolizard13 on October 17th, 2012 10:38 am

    Except for the part where they aren't dead, only fainted.

  55. gAmer_Matt on October 17th, 2012 11:14 am

    "Secret Stuff" huh?

    [youtube c0EaAfBKQLU rel="nofollow"> youtube]
    *from Sarcastaball episode*

  56. gAmer_Matt on October 17th, 2012 11:15 am

    [youtube X5Izm1LQfw4 rel="nofollow"> youtube]

  57. gAmer_Matt on October 17th, 2012 11:19 am
  58. Umbreon 0 on October 17th, 2012 12:52 pm

    Did you hear that, folks? We're slashing prices AND tails! Get your Slowpoke tail for the low price of only $124.50!*

    *Plus shipping and handling, contact your local Rocket HQ for details.

  59. Prof. Luigi on October 17th, 2012 3:03 pm

    I had one of those once. Lasted me a week. Brought it with me everywhere. Boxed water really is better.

  60. Prof. Luigi on October 17th, 2012 3:03 pm

    I had one of those once. Lasted me a week. Brought it with me everywhere. Boxed water really is better.
    NOW GO BUY SOME!

  61. The Pualrus on October 17th, 2012 4:16 pm

    …Yes. Yes he is.
    Use my vending machine.

  62. Litmus Remnantal on October 17th, 2012 5:00 pm

    Sign me up.

  63. Bobicus5 on October 17th, 2012 5:23 pm

    Seems Legit

  64. Restam111 on October 17th, 2012 5:52 pm

    it would mean that the portal gun and turrets are also incredibly cheap.
    it would also solve the problem why Aperture became broke for awhile.

    EDIT: i want a portal gun now

  65. Restam111 on October 17th, 2012 5:53 pm

    portal gun! now only $14.99!!!

  66. TomQuoVadis on October 17th, 2012 7:12 pm

    So what's wrong here? What did I do wrong?

    Tell me. I'm curious.

  67. Pseudonym_ on October 17th, 2012 9:12 pm

    I said I couldn't find a good Pokemon themed one. There were plenty of those. But I got this for you.
    <img src="http://gregteselle.com/thoughts/wp-content/uploads/hello-my-name-is-irrelevant.jpg"&gt;

  68. Pseudonym_ on October 17th, 2012 9:12 pm

    I said I couldn't find a good Pokemon themed one. There were plenty of those. But I got this for you.
    <img src="http://gregteselle.com/thoughts/wp-content/uploads/hello-my-name-is-irrelevant.jpg"&gt;

  69. Pseudonym_ on October 17th, 2012 9:20 pm

    Oh man, we have to leave? Well, I must at least do it with some swag
    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/iXylm.gif"&gt;

  70. Kamina 676 on October 17th, 2012 9:43 pm

    The gif hurts my eyes.

  71. poonstev on October 17th, 2012 9:54 pm

    This gif is literally eye rape.

  72. Mindlessinvalid on October 17th, 2012 9:55 pm

    It's called buting when you do that to animals. There's a pain med that is administered to show animals for the express purpose of allowing them to perform despite being injured.

    It doesn't really heal them, it just makes their pain stop.

    Suddenly pokemon got much darker.

  73. TomQuoVadis on October 17th, 2012 11:30 pm

    Poor baby. :(

  74. Prof. Luigi on October 17th, 2012 11:46 pm

    Can't you buy a bunch at some place?
    Mt. Moon gift shop I think is where it is.

  75. Kamina 676 on October 18th, 2012 12:07 am

    HEY! SOMEONE STOLE MY GLASSES YOU PRICK! I WON'T REST TILL I FIND THEM!

  76. TomQuoVadis on October 18th, 2012 12:16 am

    *Sigh*

    All right, I'm sorry. This was just a bad night for me, and I shouldn't be taking it out on you guys. I guess I didn't realize how flashy this .gif was (and I swear I'd used it here before but after checking my comments, I guess not). I've been watching people mash the crap out of footage with Sony Vegas for years so I guess what I consider to be "eye rape" is very different from other people. Plus I've been using dA for a while so I'm used to seizure icons and what-not.

    I just honestly didn't realize people would find this .gif obnoxious. Sorry again.

  77. death_by_Cucco on October 18th, 2012 12:39 am

    they mean in gen V which is true

    but I prefer Moomoo Milk it heals 100 HP and you can by it by the dozen.

  78. death_by_Cucco on October 18th, 2012 12:41 am

    I always assumed Revives were some sort of smelling salt like object expecally after gen IV where you can freaking mine them

  79. Funkalicous on October 18th, 2012 1:02 am
  80. Funkalicous on October 18th, 2012 1:02 am
  81. Ryu Bonkosi on October 18th, 2012 1:16 am
  82. sims796 on October 18th, 2012 7:41 am

    Depends. How shady we talkin'?

  83. Mindlessinvalid on October 18th, 2012 7:57 am
  84. gAmer_Matt on October 18th, 2012 8:19 am

    Lol I didn't even read your comment before, I just was replying my mindblown to your Lion King/Pokemon Song image because that's the first time I've ever seen that.

  85. Funkalicous on October 18th, 2012 10:18 am
  86. Funkalicous on October 18th, 2012 10:18 am
  87. dope92 on October 18th, 2012 11:45 am

    what anime is dis?

  88. dope92 on October 18th, 2012 12:15 pm

    never question pokemon logic

    <img src="http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll208/masked-avenger/N.jpg&quot; border="0" alt="Photobucket">

    never….

  89. SaintRCat on October 18th, 2012 2:21 pm

    If that's true, then why do Pokemon hate it when you use the herbal remedies?

  90. Mindlessinvalid on October 18th, 2012 10:01 pm

    Shady like a sunglasses wearing necromancer's hidden porn stash…

  91. Peterdivine on October 22nd, 2012 8:36 pm

    Boku no Fatso

  92. dope92 on October 22nd, 2012 10:16 pm

    that came up with porn. thanks bro but really

    wat anime is dis?

  93. Jerach on October 25th, 2012 2:30 pm

    If Arceus had not wanted us to eat Vanilite it would not have made it so delicious.

  94. venomgod on November 29th, 2012 2:04 pm

    well, there ARE mini mountains in the watter bottle, and if you think about how many minerals are in a mountain due to those tons of rocks, you can see why the water heals as much as it does.

    Also, the first time i saw the in-game sprite for the watter, i genuinely thought that mountians were in the clear water bottle. don't judge me.

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